Self-Deception
Jiraiya and Inuzuka Tsume trudged through Konoha. It wasn't the first time he'd wished the Hokage tower was closer to the gate. After long missions he hated the long walk to the center of town to make his report.
They passed Sakumo's house, and Jiraiya looked the other way. Tsume grunted. "Fucking traitor," she muttered under her breath. Kuromaru growled his assent.
Jiraiya knew better than to take up for Sakumo in public, even with a friend as close as Tsume. He'd tried a few times, but when he was challenged to give logical reasons for his defense of one of Konoha's strongest and now most infamous ninjas, all he could say was, "he's family". He cared for Sakumo and his son, but he couldn't find an excuse for his actions, and he'd tried. Sakumo had stated his reasons for saving his comrade's life, but Jiraiya couldn't get past the result. This entire war was Sakumo's fault. Even the ninja he'd saved blamed him harshly.
He'd visit later. He'd been too hard on his nephew. Sakumo probably needed a shoulder to cry on, and Kakashi had been acting far too distant since the war began. He'd always been serious, but now he had a huge chip on his shoulder.
The wind changed direction, and Kuromaru stopped and raised his nose, sniffing delicately. He barked a few times, and Jiraiya saw his hackles rise. He looked towards Sakumo's house and snarled.
"What's wrong?" Jiraiya asked.
"He smells blood," Tsume said. "He said there's a lot of blood in that house."
They'd worked together enough that they didn't even need to talk strategy. Jiraiya pointed to the back of the house. Tsume and Kuromaru went around the house while Jiraiya approached the front door. He avoided the squeaky board in the porch – the one Sakumo left unrepaired on purpose as a sort of extra security precaution.
Jiraiya stood to the side of the door and shoved it open, half expecting kunai to come flying out at him. Sakumo had had several death threats, and Jiraiya assumed someone had tried to make good. He pulled his Ishiken and entered the room forcefully, ready to do battle.
He froze. Instead of a willing opponent he faced an ugly domestic scene. Sakumo lay on the floor with his intestines splattered in front on him. Judging by the congealed nature of the blood and the lividity of Sakumo's face, Jiraiya thought he must have died sometime during the night.
Tsume entered from the kitchen. "It's about time," she said.
"Have some respect," Jiraiya said quietly. "He was family."
She spat on the corpse.
"Tsume go. Leave me with my family." His friendship with Tsume was broken forever. She bumped his shoulder as she left. Only in death did he dare ally himself with Sakumo.
He turned his attention to the other figure in the room. Kakashi stood over his father's corpse. He hadn't even acknowledged their presence; he just stood there and stared at the gore covering his floor. He didn't cry or shake; he just stood.
"Kakashi?"
No answer. Jiraiya made his way around the body, trying not to step in the large puddle of blood. Kakashi stood behind his father, oblivious to the blood soaking through his shoes and up his pants.
He put his hand on the boy's shoulder.
"Kakashi?"
"Guh," he heard. He didn't know if Kakashi was trying to talk or hold back a sob.
He shook Kakashi by the shoulder. "Snap out of it. Say something."
Kakashi made a few guttural noises. He posture remained rigid, and his fists were clenched at his side.
Jiraiya spun him around to get him to stop looking at his father's corpse. Kakashi looked at him without recognition. Jiraiya had seen people in shock before.
Kakashi's mouth worked silently, unable to actually form words. He turned back toward his father, and Jiraiya forcefully turned him away and took Kakashi's unmasked jaw in his face.
"Kakashi, do you know who I am?"
He didn't answer, and Jiraiya saw no signs of recognition in his face. Kakashi's legs began to shake visibly. Jiraiya caught him as he fell, but he still ended up covered in his father's blood.
Tsume would have already alerted the authorities, so Jiraiya focused on tending to Kakashi. He pulled him into the bathroom and dumped him into the bathtub. Kakashi stirred a bit, but he didn't wake. Jiraiya stripped him and washed his father's blood off the boy. He hadn't seen Kakashi without his shirt since he was little, and it troubled him how much the boy's ribs showed. He hadn't been eating properly; he must have been more affected than he let on.
He dressed Kakashi, making sure he put a fresh mask on him. Sakumo's family had a long history with their masks, and he wouldn't like to be seen without it. Jiraiya put Kakashi into bed and sat by him until the police showed up. They looked at Sakumo's corpse with undisguised disgust. "Where's Kakashi?" one of them asked. "Tsume said he was here."
Jiraiya told him how he had found Kakashi and put him into bed when he passed out.
"No reason to bother him," the cop said. "He's a strong ninja, and we need him. Even if he did kill his old man he probably wouldn't be prosecuted. Killing a dog isn't murder."
Jiraiya had to work hard to keep his fist from flying. "I'll ask you not to speak that way about my nephew, at least not to my face." He wished he'd said that while Sakumo was alive.
When they left he returned to Kakashi's bed, sitting there for a few hours until he woke.
"Oji-Jiraiya, have I been sick?" Kakashi asked. Jiraiya usually kept him company when he was ill; at least he had before the war had pulled him away.
"I had the worst dream," Kakashi said.
Jiraiya wanted to spare Kakashi, but he knew it would just be worse if he let him have this delusion.
"It wasn't a dream," Jiraiya said.
Kakashi was quiet for a few minutes. "Did they take him away?" he asked.
"They did."
"I've seen enough death, some of it much worse than this. It shouldn't affect me so much."
"It's ok to be upset," Jiraiya said. "He was your father."
He waited for Kakashi to fall asleep, and then he scrubbed the floors, trying to remove the blood stains. He couldn't get the large one where Sakumo had lain out, so he went into another room and dragged a large rug into the living room. It covered the stain, and Jiraiya hoped it would help Kakashi not to see evidence of his father's suicide.
He answered a knock on the door to find Tsume. "The Hokage said family problems or not, he needs your report. He sent me to find you." There was no warmth in her eyes or voice. She'd condemned him just like she had Sakumo. The difference was that Jiraiya didn't care.
"You've done your duty," he said. "I don't think we have anything more to say to each other."
He made his report and rushed back to Kakashi. He still had on the clothes he'd been wearing in battle, and he stank. He didn't have time to change though. He was afraid Kakashi might have hurt himself while he was gone.
He found Kakashi sitting at his table doing paperwork. "I'm behind on some of this," he said when he saw the questioning look on Jiraiya's face.
"Don't you want to rest for awhile?" Jiraiya asked.
"No," Kakashi said. "I want to work."
"I'll go home and get some things so I can stay here for a few days," Jiraiya said, "or at least until I'm sent out."
"Why?" Kakashi asked.
"Noni? What do you mean why?"
"I've stayed by myself before. It's not that big of a deal."
Jiraiya didn't know what to say.
"When my father gets back from his mission I'll let him know you stopped by," Kakashi said, turning back to his paperwork.