I died alone today.
This morning I woke to the whisper of your voice on the wind, the trace of your lips just below my ear. I could feel the weight of your breath as you settled into sleep from miles away—clutching at the pillow for fear you might slip into the ether without such a worldly tether.
I remember the way your arms wrapped around me in the room of requirement, the faint stutter of breath as you realized I wouldn't leave you behind. When the flames licked at our heels and you watched someone burn in your place, I felt you bury your face in my back, trusting that I would lead us both to safety.
My feet were leaden as we listened to Voldemort and his call for blood—my blood. Do you remember this? We talked about it so many times. Do you remember every breath I whispered against your chest— of broken promises and fears so startling I'd just begun to realize them? Do you? I remember each and every one. I remember the taste of salt on your skin and the way you smelled vaguely like freshly-mown grass as you ran fingers through my hair, unable to say the words we were both afraid to say .
I forgot so many things on the way.
I forgot the way your nose curls when you pretend to be offended by one of my jokes. I forgot the way we dance—your chin tucked beneath mine. I forgot the way your fingers wrap just right around my hips when you want something. I forgot the way you look at me like the depths of infinity lay buried, there for you to pluck if you try hard enough. I forgot the way you plunder my mouth, my mind, my very being.
I forgot the way you whisper I love you when you thought I was asleep, when you thought I would never hear.
It's easier to die when you're alone.
When your mother leaned over my body and asked if you were alive, the lie came easily. Of course he's alive. It isn't his turn to die.
I died alone today, but I was never alone.
When I heard the name, I had to smile. Potter. Then there was chaos and a wand in my hand; I knew that wand. It was your wand—the magic was familiar, comfortable.
At the end, you were there. Though you'd likely thought me dead, you were there.
I may have died alone today, but there was a part of you that died with me.
Do you remember?