This is my first attempt at writing a Law and Order SVU. To be honest I had seen a few episodes before Dany Pino joined SVU but really followed the show when he joined.
To make the story short I'm a big Rollaro fan but didn't write anything. I wrote this the night before the finale. Let me know what you think. Please read and review.
Chapter 1
She was infuriating. The more Nick thought about Amanda the angrier he became. She shut him off and then let him in. He couldn't really blame her since he did the same to her. Nick refused to answer her calls right after he left Riker's island. They tried to remain friends. They agreed they couldn't be involved. Amanda was damaged and so was he. Her childhood was horrible, worse than his. At least his mother looked out for him and things turned better once Amaro Sr. left for good. Amanda did not have that support; she didn't speak to her mother and the relationship with Kim was rocky at best.
The blonde accused him of making her a victim. She taunted him, angered him to no end. It wasn't healthy. Amanda hated feeling weak and closed off when it came to discussing her issues; or so he thought. He tried to talk to her about Atlanta but Amanda did not want to speak about it. She distanced herself and refused to discuss anything related to the incident as she called it. He accepted that and left her to sort out her emotions. Their "thing" was not in the best place and then she just ignored him. That was the last straw for him. Amanda refused to acknowledge him and he was trying to do the same to her.
He had to restrain himself and force himself to not go to her when his father's trial unraveled. He didn't need her. They agreed it was best if they kept a strictly professional relationship. Things were too raw for them to be friends. They started their relationship to release stress. It was purely physical until it wasn't. He cared for her; but his children came first. Amanda loved Zara and barely knew Gil. She didn't understand his anger toward Maria and sometimes minimized the need he felt to see Zara or Gil. He didn't understand Amanda's blind need to keep her life private. She knew so much about him, more than he cared to admit while he was in the dark about her life. Nick knew close to nothing about Atlanta, only what little she disclosed and the hints Liv and Fin dropped.
Nick resolved to stay away from her. It was best if they were not together. He could do it. He would keep their interactions on the cold side of things. He called Zara before it was too late and made sure to swing by Cynthia's to take Gil out for lunch. He spent the day with his son and tried to unsuccessfully convince Cynthia to stay in New York.
"Cynthia, please just listen to me. Gil has ties here, I'm here, he needs a father figure. You can just up and move." Nick tried to reason.
She shook her head sadly, "Nick, this isn't about you or me. This is about Gil. We have family in San Diego. It will be good for him."
"What is this about Cynthia? I can help you with rent. You can move in with me if it makes you feel safer. Cynthia we can try." Nick was desperate. Cynthia and him they tried for a while but the spark that had been there years ago was gone. They both knew it.
Cynthia took his hands in hers. "It wouldn't work. We're not the same people we were fifteen years ago. I don't want to take Gil away from you. I don't."
"Then don't." Nick said quickly. "Stay here. We can figure something out. Gil said you're afraid of the gangs in the neighborhood. We can fix that. I'll move you and Gil closer to my apartment." He could tell she wanted to refute him. He looked at her and quickly said, "Think about it. Gil mentioned you were planning to move in July. Don't say no just yet." He tried to continue their conversation when his cellphone rang.
"It's work." He said and grabbed it. Cynthia frowned. "It's always work."
Nick frowned too. "Hey Liv, yes I'm on my way."
"I have to go. Por favor Cynthia, just think about it." He kissed her goodbye.
He checked his phone. It was not strange for Liv to call him on his day off. He barely used his days off as it was. He drove to the station and went through the motions of a new case. Barba was there as well. Liv looked nervous. "How is Noah doing?"
His boss and friend smiled, "He's better now. The doctor says he can go back home in two days." Liv smiled gratefully.
He didn't understand her nervous stance. "We have a new case involving two minors and a very influential New York City judge." That's how their latest case started. Olivia asked him and Carisi to interview the girls. The girls were in a college now program and served as interns at the court where judge Grayson served. They were sixteen and seventeen. They formally accused William Grayson of rape and kidnapping. Nick and Carisi interviewed them. There were obvious holes in their stories. There was no evidence of assault and they claimed to have met the judge in a rave.
"Judge Grayson is fifty-five years old, three children, resides in New Jersey and is on the fast track to become a senator for that state." Carisi parroted.
Nick nodded while they drove back to the precinct. Carisi took a call from Fin. "They interviewed the judge. He has a solid alibi for that night. Grayson was at a fundraiser with his wife and three children."
"Does it check out? Is there a way that he could have left the fundraiser?" Nick asked as they walked in.
"No, Fin and I checked the footage. He was there every hour until 3:00 AM when he and his family go back to their home." Amanda said while yawning.
Barba sighed in relief. "Is he a friend?" Nick asked distractedly. The girls clearly lied but why, to what motive. He was sure Liv would demand a second and separate interview with the girls.
"Not exactly but he is respectable and we have collaborated on occasions." Barba replied.
Liv came back from her office with a smile. "Put me up to speed with the case."
Carisi explained the latest developments. "Nick, interview them one more time. Rollins, go with him, show the girls the footage." Liv said and asked Barba to her office.
Nick called the Eva Wooly and Rosemary Striker. The girls and their parents made it to the precinct within an hour. Amanda interviewed Rosemary while he interviewed Eva.
"Eva, we have footage of the night of the rape. Judge Grayson was not in New York City." Nick showed her a tablet with the images.
The girl grew restless once she saw the videos. "It wasn't my idea. It was all Rosemary. She said we could be famous this way. She said her friend did the same thing with a politician and she now has her own loft away from her parents. I can't go to jail. It was all her idea. She said we could do it and no one would know. She said everyone would believe us."
He strode out. Amanda had just left the other interrogation room. "It was all Eva's idea."
He smirked, "Rosemary said they wouldn't get caught. Eva didn't want to do it."
They reported back to Liv who informed the concerned parents and Barba. The ADA offered the girls community service as a slap on their wrists. The parents were forever grateful and ashamed of their daughters' behavior.
Fin chuckled. "If only all the cases were like this." He said while preparing to leave the station.
"I'm glad the press didn't get wind of this." Liv said. "Go home." She said to him. Nick smiled. "Come on. I'll drive you home." He replied.
"No need detective. It's on my way." Barba grabbed his coat and lead Liv to the elevators.
Nick shrugged and grabbed his coat; might as well leave for his apartment. "Goodnight."
Amanda waved at him as he left. He didn't wave or do anything. It was best if they didn't acknowledge each other. It was best for him if he only looked at her or spoke with her in a professional manner. His phone rang once more. He stopped at red light and saw Maria's number.
"Maria." He tried to remain calm. His interactions with his ex-wife were not exactly friendly. She did what she wanted to do with their daughter and he just had to accept her decisions without asking many questions.
"Nick, I have something to tell you." She sounded amicable.
Nick pinched the bridge of his nose. "Could this wait? I am in the middle of traffic."
"Nick, Zara and I are going to Europe this summer." Nick lost it.
"You can't do that. It's my turn to have her." He yelled at the phone.
"Don't yell. I'm sorry Nick but Zara's really excited and we paid for all expanses already."
Nick kept driving, not caring for any tickets. "No. I won't let you."
"Then you'll have to tell Zara why she isn't going. You would prefer her to stay with your mother all summer long. You won't have time for her. You'll leave as soon as Olivia calls you."
Nick was enraged. "She's my daughter. You can't keep her away from me." He yelled once more. It was too late Maria hung up on him.
He drove away to the usual bar. He tried calling Maria back but as usual she didn't pick up his calls.
"Maria, pick up. We have to talk about this." He must have left at least fifteen messages.
He had a few to drink more than he should have. He felt impotent. He couldn't tell Zara no. His daughter should be excited. Maria must have filled her head with knowledge and stories of all the places she would visit. Nick couldn't deny her once Zara knew. Maria of course was aware of this. Nick barely saw her; the guilt of not being with her was enough for him to cherish those precious moments he had with his little girl.
The bartender cut him off and asked him for a number to call. He handed her his cellphone. "Call Amanda." He slurred. He didn't want the girl to call his mom. They were still on the outs. Cesaria Amaro could not believe her boy would turn against his father.
The woman did. Nick had no recollection of time. Suddenly Amanda was in front of him.
"You came. I didn't know if you would come." He slurred.
"Come on Nick. Let's get you home." She sighed. "I'll take his keys." Amanda said. Nick took her hand and held onto her. He hugged her and nuzzled her neck. "I miss you so much."
Amanda trembled against him. "You're drunk. Let's go." He followed her to his car.
The night air shocked him. He sobered up some. "Where's you car?"
"At home." She replied without looking at him. Nick settled on the passenger seat. His head was clearer now. He felt the need to tell her what was happening with him. Liv was his boss now, and there was no one else to talk to. He tried to tell himself that Amanda was the default option when in reality she was so important he couldn't help but tell her about his struggles.
"Maria is taking Zara to Europe this summer. Cynthia decided to move to San Diego with Gil of course." He said with a small voice.
"I'm sorry Nick. If there's anything I can do." She said and rubbed his hand with hers. Nick was starved for her touch. He relished the feel of her hand against his.
"I don't know what to do anymore. Maria, she just decides. I can't tell Zara she can't go. Maria probably filled her head with fantasies about Rome and Paris. Cynthia at least is willing to listen. She told me she would think about moving with me for a while until I find a good neighborhood for Gil and her." Nick was on a rant now. He didn't see Amanda tense at the mention of Cynthia moving in with him.
"This is all a mess." Nick continued and then fell silent. His eyes closed and he was dead to the world.
"Nick, wake up, Nick." Someone shook him. He opened his eyes to see Amanda looking at him.
He felt the urge to kiss her senseless. She wouldn't kiss him back. Amanda would argue he was drunk. She would tell him that they were a mistake. Nick needed to play his cards right. He was buzzed as opposed to the drunken mess he had been about an hour ago.
"Come on Nick. I'll help you get to your apartment." She clearly thought he was drunker than he was.
"Thanks Amanda." He needed to get her into his apartment. He wanted her. He missed her so much. Amanda was like a drug to him. Nick had been so strong. He hadn't touched her since before the March case. They were too distracted with life and with their own issues to even consider being together. They decided to call whatever they had off before the Martin case.
"Can you walk?" She asked as he closed to door to his car.
"Yes." He replied but swayed a little to make sure she accompanied him to his apartment.
They made it to his apartment. Nick made sure to only stumble a little. "Nick, the keys." Amanda looked at him. She had very nice blue eyes.
"You have beautiful eyes. They're so blue. Have I ever told you that?" Nick asked as he tried to get the keys out of his pockets.
Amanda didn't look at him. "You haven't. Come on Nick. Don't tell me they're in the car."
Nick shook his head. "No, I have them here." He dangled them in front of her and laughed. Amanda took them from him and opened the door.
Nick leaned into her. He circled her waist with his arms. "You have the prettiest blue eyes I have ever seen."
Amanda stepped away from him. "I'll call you tomorrow."
He grabbed her wrist as she tried to leave his apartment. "Amanda, please stay." She tried to shake him off. Nick came closer. "Cariño, don't go, don't go." He pleaded with her and kissed her softly.
It was like nothing he ever experienced. His body craved her; it was as if he were going through withdrawal and suddenly he had a fix of her. He deepened the kiss; he rubbed her back and tried to get rid of her light jacket. She responded to him. Amanda's hands were on his hair; she gently massaged his scalp. Nick trailed kisses to her neck. She sighed and kissed him once more. He kissed her and kissed her and felt better immediately.
In that moment he realized he needed her so much. The detective ran his hands over her blouse and tried to undo the small buttons. He hated this blouse. She loved it. He hated because he had to be careful and unbutton every little button because she would hate him if he ripped it.
"Nick, stop we can't do this." Nick looked up from his work.
He didn't step away from her. Amanda didn't look at him. "Look at me. Do you want me to stop?"
"Yeah." Nick felt a little sick. He could not excuse his sick stomach with the scotch he had. His stomach churned because this was the first time Amanda said no to him. It was too late; whatever they had it was over. He lost his chance with Amanda. He stepped away from her then. "Forgive me Amanda." He ran a hand through his hair and went through the motions of placing his badge and weapon in the locked drawer. He was used to locking them because of Zara and Gil.
It was uncomfortable to see her buttoning her blouse. "Thank you Amanda. I think I can take it from here."
"You can stay in the spare room. It's too late for you to take the train now." Nick said as if nothing happened.
Amanda pressed her hands to her torso. "It's fine Nick. I can call a cab."
He nodded. Amanda could take care of herself. "I'll see you tomorrow morning." He offered a small smile.
She smiled back. It was painful to see that smile not reaching her eyes. He hugged her goodbye. He was entitled to hugs. They were still friends. Nick would live for the hugs and the goodbye kisses.
He felt her shake. "I miss you too." She said tentatively while resting her head on his chest. He kissed her forehead. Amanda looked up. They were almost face-to-face. She kissed him once more. Nick was too weak to refuse her. It felt so good to have her kiss him back. She broke the kiss and looked up to him.
Amanda gently undid the buttons of his shirt. He kissed her hands and just as gently undid the little buttons of her blouse. He took back what he said about the blouse. He loved the blouse; with every button undone his confidence increased. Nick kissed every inch of exposed skin. She kissed him back with the same fervor.
"Bedroom. Nick, take me to your bed." Amanda kissed him again, this time with a little more force. He grabbed her hand and smiled they entered his bedroom. Amanda kissed him time and time again.
Nick rid her of her blouse and slacks. He was down to his underwear in no time. He touched her bra strap. Amanda's breath hitched. He wanted to see her naked to have her under him once more. She made the most delightful little sounds. Nick rejoiced in those little sounds. Amanda smirked at him. "I hope you haven't forgotten how they work."
He smirked back and undid the hooks without seeing them. He slowly removed the offending garment. He traced circles around her nipples and then he rolled them. Amanda was tactile too. She tried to kiss his hairy chest. Amanda was surprised to learn he didn't shave. "Why would I?" He had asked. She laughed and kissed him.
Nick massaged her breasts. Amanda's breathing changed slightly when he kissed her neck. He peppered kisses from her jaw to her breasts. He felt her tremble. Nick remembered how sensitive she was. How responsive Amanda always was. He kissed past her breasts and down to her navel. He removed her green panties. "I want to kiss you here."
Amanda was not a prude by any means. She was fun. Nick deeply enjoyed having sex with her. The only thing she didn't let him do to her was that. Nick wanted to taste her. Amanda was adamant that she didn't want him to. He would convince her tonight. Nick had a feeling that maybe tonight was their last night. He would taste her. It was something Nick was dying to do.
"Nick, I don't..." He didn't let her finish her sentence. The man kissed her thighs. He licked and finally tasted her. Nick licked her slowly. Amanda sighed and tried to stop him but the scent of her, the view of her from this angle turned him more than anything ever had.
He wasn't exactly promiscuous but his experiences with other women told him that he wasn't bad at this. He enjoyed pleasuring women. Amanda quieted. She moaned, a tiny mewl and suddenly she thrust her hips. Her eyes turned dark blue. Nick realized Amanda liked him to be a little rough with his tongue. The man licked her with force. Her eyes rolled back, she mewled once more. Nick was the hardest he'd ever been. He could tell she was closed and he looked up to see her arching her back, chest and face flushed. Amanda's eyes were closed in ecstasy. She had never looked more beautiful in his eyes.
She came. Nick licked her some more and then kissed up to belly button. He rested there lulled by her shallow breathing. "That was amazing." She said quietly. He looked up to her with a smile. He wanted to stay like this. It didn't matter that he wasn't inside her yet. Nick planned to have Amanda all night. He kissed the valley of her breasts and listened then rested his head on her heart. He listened to her heartbeat and it soothed him deeply.
Nick inhaled her scent deeply. The detective wasn't romantic at all. He was not one for big love gestures. Maria called him boring, cynical to a point. Cynthia, well whatever he and Cynthia had was more physical than meaningful. He loved Amanda's perfume, the hints of flowers and her. Amanda kissed him. She sat up until they were both kissing each other desperately. "Nick, no more teasing." She kissed down his chest.
He pulled her to his lap. Amanda nibbled on his earlobe and sinuously ground her hips over his. Nick was glad she still had her hair in that ponytail of hers. He could see her face the moment he was inside of her. She kissed the side of his neck and placed him inside of her. He felt her tighten around him. It was an indescribable feeling to have her over him. She moved slowly. "Open your eyes. Open your eyes Amanda." He begged her. She opened then and kissed him. Nick moaned her name as she moved up and down. He felt her arms and hands on his back. She let out one of those glorious moans and whispered his name as if in prayer. Amanda was boneless above him. Nick pushed her back into the mattress and kissed her neck. She rubbed his back and tangled her fingers on the nape of his neck.
Nick entered her swiftly. He looked into her blue eyes and rocked against her. The man didn't break eye contact. Amanda smiled at him. He smiled back. Nick kissed her more and more until his thrusts became erratic. Amanda was close once more and this time Nick didn't hold off. "Let go Nick, please let go." She said quietly. He let go and exploded inside of her. He forgot about all the problems around him and only focused on Amanda, the feel of her under him, and the ecstasy that he felt inside of her. He saw her flushed cheeks, her twinkling blue eyes and let go of all of it. He didn't have a care in the world.
It felt so good to have her rain kisses all over his chest once he rolled her over him. Their feet were by the headboard. Nick realized they ended up on the foot of the bed. Amanda nuzzled his chest. He kissed her forehead. He cuddled her. "Amanda, I…"
She kissed him as if to shut him up. "Let's not. Not right now." She bit his lip as she kissed him.
He kissed her once more. "You got to give me time cariño." He ran his fingers over her hips. Amanda kissed his jaw and gave him a filthy little smile. "Maybe I can help you along." Her hands trailed down to his manhood.
Nick jumped at the opportunity to touch her too. She drove him to distraction. He wanted to ask her to give them a proper chance. It isn't the time, not now. She'll think it's all about sex. He realized, it probably wasn't all about the sex but Nick wasn't too thrilled with his sudden understanding. He pushed thoughts about relationships far away from his mind and focused on the blonde and her devilish smile.