"Samantha Carter."

Sam started to grin but stopped just before some of the toothpaste slipped out of her mouth. He sounded somewhat annoyed, so she decided to play along. "Jonafan O'Neill." The mouthful of toothpaste made her mumble. She stepped to the doorway between the bathroom and her bedroom.

"Care to explain?" He was standing in front of her bedside table and holding up a device, an alien device that she hadn't thought about in years. She remembered adding to her second drawer, where she kept a few memorabilia and other private items, years ago. Apparently, Jack had been snooping while she was in the bathroom. His eyebrows were raised in surprise and confusion.

Her chest tightened as she turned and went back to the sink and spit out the toothpaste. She rinsed off her toothbrush and looked at herself in the mirror. She had no intention of lying to him, honesty was too important in their relationship, but she was wondering how much she needed to tell him. There was no defense for what she had done but she also didn't want to make him feel bad with the full truth. She straightened and headed back to the bedroom, where he was still standing and holding the device.

"I assume there's a good reason you removed tech from the mountain. Perhaps you even had permission?"

Sam shook her head. "No, sir, I didn't have permission." It was an automatic response that she regretted immediately as he grimaced.

"I'm not your superior officer, Sam."

"No but you aren't really asking this as my fiancée, you're asking as a retired General who knows I broke the rules."

He swallowed and reached out for her. She took his hand and stepped closer. "Sam…what does it do and why do you have it here?" He sat on the edge of the bed and she joined him.

"It is a type of memory storage device. Narim gave it to me when he left the SGC the first time we met."

"His memories?"

She nodded. "Of me, his time with me to be specific. It includes his thoughts as well as his feelings."

Jack nodded. "I see."

"Do you? Really?"

"It was a gift, so I see why you still have it, but I'm surprised you have it here?"

She took it from him. "I kept it in my lab at first. I put it on a few times when I was feeling…down."

"Down?"

"Lonely." She turned it over in her hands. "It got especially difficult after Jolinar to separate her feelings from my own. Sometimes it helped to know there was someone out there who felt…this way…about me, just me."

He put his arm around her waist. "When did you bring it home?" This was what she had hoped to avoid. He put two fingers under her chin and lifted her head until their eyes met. "Why did you bring it home, Sam?"

Her chest was tight and there were tears building in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. She replied in a whisper, "After Edora." He let go of her chin and looked away. She wrapped her hand around his. "I could tell that you and Laira had what we couldn't…but what I…" she swallowed and took a deep breath, "what I wanted. It hurt."

She squeezed his hand and he squeezed back. "That's when you brought it home?"

She grimaced. "Not exactly. It was a few weeks later, when I thought you went back to Edora to stay, when I knew you had picked her." She laid her head on his shoulder. He turned towards her and kissed her head. "I needed a reminder that I was…I don't know…"

"Loved." He felt her nod slightly against his shoulder. "I'm sorry for that."

"I know."

"You know now, but that doesn't change the fact that I hurt you."

She tilted her head up towards him. "You didn't have a choice. You had to be convincing and to be honest we didn't have a relationship, not in that way, so you didn't owe me anything."

"Still."

"Still nothing, I had no right to bring it here."

"Do you still use it?"

Sam shook her head. "I haven't touched it in years. I'd actually forgotten it was in there."

"In that case it might be best if it mysteriously made its way back to your lab."

She pulled away from him and sat up straight. "You aren't going to turn me in?"

He grinned. "Of course not. This thing is harmless, and you had no ill intent."

"But I knew better."

He shrugged, "True, but we've all done things we knew we shouldn't do. No reason to make a capital case over this thing."

She gave him a small grin. "I'll put it in my bag right now." She stood up, but he grabbed her hand as she started to walk away.

"When you get back I'd like to discuss some of the other items in this drawer." His leering grin made her stomach flip.

"Hopefully we will do more than discuss them."

"Oh, you can count it."