For two years I've kept my secret hidden, and I swear to God, if I were at
the Academy Awards, I'd be a shoe-in for an Oscar for best actress. No one
has ever suspected, and I'm surprised by that fact.
Sure, I covered my tracks well, but each night, as I lay alone in my bed, I thought of that one person I knew I could never have.
He was perfect, in every way. He was the kind of man I wish I could have. The kind of man I want to have fallen head over heels, because of me.
But fate doesn't turn out the way you think. I tried, believe me, I tried to get him to notice me, but nothing seemed to phase him. Not the way I dressed, not the way I flirted, not the way I followed him around like a lost puppy. Not even the slightest glance my way. Not ever.
How can I compete with her? She's perfect. She's got her life together, she works hard, she knows when to take charge, and when to stay quiet. Even I love that about her. How could he not?
I know I should get over all of this, but it's so hard, when I see him every day, when he's around all the time. I can't walk into a room without glancing at him and wondering what could have been. What if he had noticed me, and not her? Would I be in the position she is now?
No, I doubt it. We're worlds apart, he and I. Our personalities are so different, we'd be fighting at every decision, arguing over every choice. But you know what they say, opposites seriously do attract.
That's my downfall. Being attracted to a man that I could never have a relationship with, for a million and one reasons. But should I reveal my feelings to him? Or to her for that matter? She'll hate me forever, I know it.
I know what it's like to piss her off, and she's the last person I want to do that to.
I've had so many catastrophes in trying to cover this up, pretending I was in love with someone else, and making huge mistakes along the way.
But I have to get this out of my system somehow, and it looks like writing it down is my only choice. I have no one to confide in, because any of the people I could tell are directly connected to them. They'll find out no matter what.
So, as soon as I write those words, I'm going to light a match, and burn this piece of paper, so I can be sure that no one will ever find it. And then I'm going to P3, and I'm going to drink myself stupid, and hope that a guy just like him comes along and takes care of me.
Ha, what a foolish dream. That only happens to her. Never to me.
The match is ready, sitting here beside my bed. I've checked the house, and no one else is home, so I know that they won't walk in and catch me doing this. Even if they did walk in, I'd just lie yet again, and tell them I was casting a spell. Prue would go off, thinking I was doing it for personal gain, but I could deal with the consequences of that, better than the consequences of this truth.
How should I write it? Should I write it as though I'm telling her? Yes, then at least I will feel like I got it off my chest, but she won't be hurt by it, because she'll never know.
Piper, I fell in love with Leo.
Fin.
Sure, I covered my tracks well, but each night, as I lay alone in my bed, I thought of that one person I knew I could never have.
He was perfect, in every way. He was the kind of man I wish I could have. The kind of man I want to have fallen head over heels, because of me.
But fate doesn't turn out the way you think. I tried, believe me, I tried to get him to notice me, but nothing seemed to phase him. Not the way I dressed, not the way I flirted, not the way I followed him around like a lost puppy. Not even the slightest glance my way. Not ever.
How can I compete with her? She's perfect. She's got her life together, she works hard, she knows when to take charge, and when to stay quiet. Even I love that about her. How could he not?
I know I should get over all of this, but it's so hard, when I see him every day, when he's around all the time. I can't walk into a room without glancing at him and wondering what could have been. What if he had noticed me, and not her? Would I be in the position she is now?
No, I doubt it. We're worlds apart, he and I. Our personalities are so different, we'd be fighting at every decision, arguing over every choice. But you know what they say, opposites seriously do attract.
That's my downfall. Being attracted to a man that I could never have a relationship with, for a million and one reasons. But should I reveal my feelings to him? Or to her for that matter? She'll hate me forever, I know it.
I know what it's like to piss her off, and she's the last person I want to do that to.
I've had so many catastrophes in trying to cover this up, pretending I was in love with someone else, and making huge mistakes along the way.
But I have to get this out of my system somehow, and it looks like writing it down is my only choice. I have no one to confide in, because any of the people I could tell are directly connected to them. They'll find out no matter what.
So, as soon as I write those words, I'm going to light a match, and burn this piece of paper, so I can be sure that no one will ever find it. And then I'm going to P3, and I'm going to drink myself stupid, and hope that a guy just like him comes along and takes care of me.
Ha, what a foolish dream. That only happens to her. Never to me.
The match is ready, sitting here beside my bed. I've checked the house, and no one else is home, so I know that they won't walk in and catch me doing this. Even if they did walk in, I'd just lie yet again, and tell them I was casting a spell. Prue would go off, thinking I was doing it for personal gain, but I could deal with the consequences of that, better than the consequences of this truth.
How should I write it? Should I write it as though I'm telling her? Yes, then at least I will feel like I got it off my chest, but she won't be hurt by it, because she'll never know.
Piper, I fell in love with Leo.
Fin.