Chapter One: I Don't Belong Here
Title: We're All Mad Here.
Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Santana/Dani, Mike/Tina, Kurt/Blaine
Summary: Rachel doesn't know what to expect when her fathers decide to send her to a mental institution. Scratch that, she expected wackos and mad doctors. But what she finds is blonde and hazel that makes her start to wonder if she really is crazy.
Notes: Completely AU. I am not a psychologist. What I write is from what I've researched, what I've talked about with friends that suffer from some of the disorders mentioned here, and my own imagination. I apologize if I make mistakes. Those were not on purpose.
It's a rare bright day when the small black car speeds down a deserted highway. The weather seems to rival the dark mood of one girl currently seated in the back seat of said car. Her eyes doesn't stray from the window. She's still wishing that the scenery wouldn't change from the one she is familiar with, to a foreign landscape. Her life is slipping from her hands with every mile the car drives.
She just wishes that, by some miraculous way, the car would stop and turn around. Turn around and lead her away from the hell that awaits her.
But, alas, all hope is lost once the immaculately white building comes to sight past some tall trees. Her teeth grit in pained anticipation. She doesn't belong there.
"I don't belong here," she mutters in a last attempt as the car makes the turn toward the set of buildings. A large wall and gate serves as the last barrier between the world and this prison.
She almost laughs when the car slows to a stop in front of the closed gate. She doesn't know if it's hope that they might change their minds, or if it's her nerves seeping in, or maybe it's just a sick sense of humor she finds in her as she sees the sign.
William McKinley Mental Institution. They aren't very creative, she muses.
A man wearing a white lab robe walks towards the car with a clipboard in hand. I hate him already. "A very fine morning to you, sir. What may I do for you?" he asks with a chipper tone. His smile is wide. His dark hair is slicked back neatly, and his eyes are bright with spunk. Pretentious.
The tall, dark man in the driver seat smiles politely at the boy. "My daughter is here to see Dr. Schuester," he says in a tone one cannot decipher.
Rachel wants to turn to her Daddy and plead for him to take her back home. She wants to look at her Dad, who is seated in front of her at the passenger's seat, and have him see the fault in what they're doing. But she doesn't. She's far too tired to move her head from the window.
The doctor nods at Rachel's Daddy, Kevin, and motions for him to go on through the now opened gate. Kevin proceeds to drive the car slowly, painfully so. It's as if he's giving Rachel time to adjust to her new surroundings. She doesn't want that. She wants the light pink walls of her bedroom back.
She hates her dads for sending her here.
Rachel walks into the pristine main hall of the largest building in the complex. Her eyes wander around aimlessly, feeling the undeniable urge to straighten a crookedly hung portrait of the institution's founder. She doesn't move from her place, sandwiched between her dads, though. She tears her eyes away from the portrait even if it is unbearable.
The three of them stop in front of a receptionist's counter where a red head is sitting. She smiles widely at them and regards Rachel with understanding eyes. She moves to leave her counter to greet the Berry family with more familiarity.
"Welcome. I'm Emma Pillsburry. You must be the Berrys," she greets with a sickly sweet smile, but doesn't hold out her hand. She doesn't take the outstretched hand of Leroy, Rachel's Dad, either. Instead she just nods before turning to quickly straighten the portrait.
Rachel quietly sighs in relief.
Leroy's hand drops once he realizes there will be no hand shaking taking place. "We are," he answers instead. "We would like to speak to Mr. Schuester about our daughter's admittance into your institution." At that, he hold a firm hand on Rachel's shoulder, which causes the shorter girl to straighten up and smooth her already perfect dress.
"Ahh, yes. Will is just dealing with someone right now. If you could only wait a couple of minutes," Emma gestures to the black leather couches. Leroy nods and leads his family to the couches.
Kevin and Rachel take the couch. Leroy hovers over them.
"You're going to be okay, baby girl," Kevin tries to console her. Rachel could see his eyes becoming glassy.
"I don't belong here, Daddy," she whispers. "You know that."
Leroy's voice was firm and commanding, unlike the quiet one of his partner. "I expect you not to cause the authorities in this institution trouble. We will visit every two weeks, and I would appreciate it if I were not to arrive to troubling news."
Rachel hangs her head low. "Yes, Dad."
"And every day spent here will be an effort to cure whatever disability is ailing you."
Rachel wants to scream. There's no disability ailing her. They should just bring her back home. But she bites her cheek and nods.
Kevin opens his mouth to speak, but whatever words he has planned are cut off by someone clearing their throat. The three of them turn to regard the brown haired man wearing a white lab coat and a smile.
"Pleasure to meet you. My name is William Schuester and I run WMMI. You must be Leroy Berry," Will asks Rachel's Dad who, in reply, nods.
"I am. This is my husband, Kevin, and my daughter, Rachel," Leroy answers, gesturing to both respectively. "I would like to be assured that my daughter will be duly taken care of during the entirety of her stay in your domain."
Will smiles at this. "You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Berry. Rachel will be just fine here, and if she cooperates enough, she would be rehabilitated in no time."
"And what of the other patients?"
"The other patients are well-behaved, and if we do believe they have overstepped a boundary, we have the proper equipment to deal with them. We also have twenty-four hour surveillance, so nothing can sneak past us."
"That's good. What are your treatments?"
Will looks at Rachel before turning back to her father. "Our method of treatment varies with the disorder the patient possesses. Once we have accurately diagnosed Rachel, we will inform you of the path we would like to take her on."
"I'm impressed. What will be her rooming accommodations here? I know that your setup is similar to that of a dormitory, but would that involve her having a roommate?"
"Yes." Rachel blanches. "Rachel will be rooming with one of our new comers. We believe it to be therapeutic for both parties to be involved in a similar environment."
"But- But what if-"
"Rachel," Leroy's voice is stern. "Do not speak unless spoken to."
Rachel shrinks visibly. "I apologize."
Leroy merely nods before he turns back to the doctor, who is watching him with a cautious eye. "I put my daughter into your hands, Dr. Schuester."
"You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Berry. Rachel will be safe here," Will assures.
"Very well then. I shall get her luggage."
"Jesse will help you," Will gestures to the boy that admitted them in earlier. Leroy nods and leads the boy outside. Will returns his attention to the two left in front of him. He smiles warmly at Rachel. "Rachel. I'll be handling you for the rest of your stay. I hope we can become friends, and that you'll build some friendship with the others as well."
Rachel lets her head hang. She doubts that she would make friends in here, but she looks up and nods silently.
She tries valiantly not to cry when her Daddy hugs her and whispers, "You're strong. You'll get through this. Be brave, baby girl."
"Down that hall is the cafeteria. Our cook is marvelous and her dishes are always amazing. I understand that you're vegan, but don't worry because we have vegan-friendly choices in our menu as well. No animal products whatsoever so-"
Rachel tunes out as she follows Dr. Schuester around. She doesn't really want to memorize the paths she needs to take. She doesn't want any sort of familiarity with the drab white walls.
"-is still under construction, but you can still head on to the Rec hall. The grand piano there is a bit old so there's the possibility that it's a bit out of tune but we-"
Rachel stops in her tracks. Her eyes light up in excitement. "You have a grand piano?"
Will pauses as well and smiles. "Yes. It's a bit dusty, but I'm sure it works nicely."
Rachel seems to gather herself as her expression changes into something a bit more somber. "I- uhm - Are we allowed to play it?"
"Well, no one's played it in a while..." Rachel's expression droops even more. "But, it would be wonderful if we could get some music around this place."
Rachel lets herself smile softly at this. "Thank you."
"It's no problem. So, are you ready to meet your roommate?" Will asks encouragingly.
The tiny brunette pales. "I- Uhh- Can you- Am I allowed to ask a few questions first?"
"I don't think it would be a problem."
"How long has she been here?"
"A few months. Three, I think."
"Was she a self-admittance like me?" Rachel frowns at the question. She isn't a self-admittance, but it's better than how some others are dragged away forcibly.
Will looks sad as he answers, "No. It was the hospital that sent her to us."
"Hospital?"
"I think that's something she needs to tell you herself."
Rachel nods in understanding. She can respect her roommate's privacy.
She looks around when Dr. Schuester pauses. They are in a long, wide hallway. The doors around are numbered, from 201 to 209. There's one person in front of the door Rachel sees as 203. She's a tall blonde with bright blue eyes. She's wearing a pink tank top and black shorts.
"Good afternoon, Brittany. Out for a run?" Will asks.
The blonde skips towards the two with a huge smile. "Yup, Doctor." She pumps her arms. "Gotta exercise or else I'll be fat and flabby." Her eyes widen. "Oh my God, I would be like a whale! That would be so amazing."
Will chuckles. "But exercise is still important... Even if whales are amazing."
Rachel notices that the girl is practically bouncing where she stands. "They're so cute too. And I bet they would be so fluffy when I hug them. Do you think there's a place nearby where I can hug a whale?"
"I don't think so, Britt."
"There's an orca in the local zoo, I think."
Blue eyes turn to Rachel. The tiny brunette watches as the tall girl tips her head to the side and scrunches her nose. "But I don't like okras."
"Orca," Will corrects. "They're a type of whale. You know, those killer whales."
Brittany's eyes widen in recognition and she's buzzing again. "The ones who look like pandas but with fins?" Will nods. "I wanna go see them." She turns and gives Rachel a big hug. The shorter girl freezes up at the contact. And just as quick as the hug began, it ended. "I'm gonna go see if Emma can take me to the zoo to swim with the orcas."
Will smiles. "You go do that, Britt." The blonde smiles and practically runs away. Rachel would be surprised if she didn't leave a wave of dust in her wake.
"She's... Interesting."
"She's Brittany. She's been here since she was a child." Will smiles down at Rachel, who looks surprised at the news. "Her very rich parents didn't want their ADHD child to keep messing up dinner parties so they sent her here."
"But why isn't she cured yet?" Rachel wonders aloud.
"You mean, why don't we sedate her?" Rachel hangs her head in embarrassment. "Here, we don't believe much in the use of drugs as treatment. We hope to try and help our patients cope with whatever's bothering them enough to be sent here by providing a careful and peaceful environment. If all else fails, that's when we use drugs."
Rachel only nods, not fully understanding it.
"Well, you're in Room 207." Will says after a while. He leads the girl to the door with a '207' engraved in it.
Rachel gulps audibly as she reaches out for the doorknob.
The room is spacious. It's not what Rachel expected. The warm yellow walls of the room is refreshing from the dull white outside. The furniture and decorations are also homey, but Rachel can see that whatever's inside has been inspected thoroughly. There are two beds in the room. An empty one sits to the left of Rachel, near the window. The other is against the wall to Rachel's right, and houses a blonde holding a guitar.
Rachel runs her eyes up and down her roommate's form. The girl is sitting at the edge of her bed, strumming on her acoustic guitar. She had looked up when the two arrived, and is now sporting a small smile. Her hair is dyed blonde, as Rachel can see the brown roots showing. She can also see that her roommate sports a tattoo of birds in flight in her arm. The other arm is covered in bandage though.
"Hello, Dani," Will greets.
"Hey, Doc," Dani greets back in a more somber tone. Her brown eyes flicker to Rachel. "And you must be the roommate." She sets her guitar carefully down her bed as she stands up and holds her hand out. "I'm Danielle Sugg, but please just call me Dani."
Rachel accepts the hand, albeit hesitantly. "I'm Rachel Berry. Nice to meet you."
The blonde retracts her hand and gestures to the left side of the room. "That's your side. Jesse already put your luggage in here earlier." Rachel could see her bags at the foot of the bed.
Will nods to himself. "Alright. I'll leave you two to it." He turns to Rachel. "We can have an one on one talk tomorrow morning to get you settled in." Then he moves on to Dani. "There's group later. Will you be coming?"
Dani's nod is hesitant, "Yeah, sure."
Then Will leaves them. Rachel is shuffling in her place awkwardly.
"Umm, so... What are you in for?" Dani asks, wincing after she says it. "Sorry, that's wrong."
Rachel shakes her head slowly. "It's fine. I don't know why I'm here, though." She adds in a whisper, "I don't belong here."
Dani eyes her sympathetically, but tries to change the topic to something a little less depressing. She couldn't have her roommate be weirded out by her during their first day. So she opts for something she has always found refuge in - music. She grabs her guitar and sits down on her bed. "You sing?"
Rachel's eyes light up like Dani said the magic words.
They talk about music for hours. Dani doesn't go to group. Rachel starts feeling normal again. Night creeps up on them.
The day ends with a smile on Rachel Berry's face. Maybe her stay wouldn't be so bad. She still had music.
And her roommate isn't an axe murderer, so, yeah.
Updates will probably be few and far between as I don't have reliable internet connection. I am determined to finish this fic.