A/N: I wrote this in half an hour, purely based on feelings. Let me know what you think, but please, no flames!

Dedicated to my special persons. Missy Holland, Tricki and the lovely Chitori, who happens to love anime !

This one's for you guys !

Disclaimer: Nothing owned….Wish I did, I'd have so much fun with Shizuru !! ;)

What if I would tell her? Tell her all about how I feel? What would she do?

Because:

I've never laughed so hard, never hurt so bad, never cried this much before. Each waking moment spend with her is agony. Each sleeping moment is filled with dreams about her. She's in my mind, in my heart. In my reality and sanity. She's all I have and never wanted. She's all I care for and want to kill right now.

I love her so much, but I know I won't ever tell her. I need her so much my body screams for her. Every touch is a little moment of torture. Every breath on my skin sets me on fire. Her eyes make me melt, and feel as cold as ice. For I know she will never know the truth.

Bits of me die when she looks at me. Wounds are torn open and love gushes out. Slowly going insane.

She's the one I can't live without. She's the one I want to spend my life with. And that's the point. She's probably the last person on earth to ever love me too.

Because she's beautiful and I am not. Because she is graceful and I am clumsy. Because she has ambition and I am too lazy. Because she's too good for me, and I'll never be worth her.

And how I want her to look at me with the same passion she should see in me. I try my best to let her know how much she really means. But I know she won't give in. And I won't either.

So I scream as loud as I can. In solitude. My screams of pain are silent. I smile at her and pretend not to be hurt. But I can't help it.

I am jealous when she touches somebody else. When she isn't next to me I feel left. When she lets me go, I feel adrift. When she laughs at a joke, I wish I'd told it. I wish I was the one making her happy, I wish I was the one making her smile. I wish I was the one she would confide in. I wish she'd be the one waking up next to me.

All my life, I've wondered about love. How it would feel. I couldn't wait to fall in love. Now I just want to make it all go away. I'd never have guessed it could hurt so much to be in love. But this makes me wonder….Is that love anyway? Can I call this love? Or is it merely an infatuation? A simple crush….

It can't be…If it was a crush, would I want to give my life for hers? Would I want to hold her at night? Would I want to protect her from all the evil in the world? Would I stay with her for the rest of my life if she would ask me too?

But would I really do these things…I think I would. I'd catch a bullet for her. I'd hold her at night, so she won't be lonely. I would protect her from all evil, so she'd smile all the time. I would stay with her forever, go anywhere with her if she wanted me too.

Would she let me? Would she let me die for her, let me hold her, let me protect her and let me stay with her? She can get everybody she wants. And would she ever pick me? I don't think so. She has so many friends, there certainly would be one willing. But what if……..What if…..

She would ever look at me. Notice me. Let her eyes linger. Look lovingly at me…

What if she would ?