Title: Lions and Tigers

Author: Kathy Rose

Rating: K

Category: Humor

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to someone else, etc., etc., etc. I'm not making any money, I'm just having fun with the characters. Wish I'd thought of them first.

Summary: Hoshi rescues two creatures from an alien marketplace. Will they adapt to life on Enterprise and, more importantly, will the crew be able to adapt to them? Thanks to Ozchick, the bestest beta ever!

CHAPTER 1

Hoshi made sure she was the first one back to the shuttlepod. She stowed the large cardboard box in the back and covered it with a thermal blanket, taking care not to block the airholes.

By the time she sat down on one of the bench seats she was flushed and out of breath. She only had a few moments to wonder exactly what she was getting herself into when Travis stepped into the shuttlepod, followed by Trip and Malcolm.

All three were weighed down with packages and in a good mood, laughing and teasing each other about their purchases.

"Hey, Hoshi!" Trip said when he spied her sitting there. "I can't believe you're the first one back. Usually we have to pry you away from the shops."

She favored him with a small, nervous smile while trying to look nonchalant.

When she didn't say anything, he asked, "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"

She blanched but he didn't notice. He was too busy piling his packages on the bench seat across from her.

Her ears strained for any sound from the rear of the shuttlepod. She hoped Trip's loud voice wouldn't stir up her purchase. In an effort to divert his attention from her and what she had bought, she asked, "What did you get?"

"All kinds of stuff," Trip replied cheerfully.

"More than he could carry," Malcolm said, adding the items he had been carrying to the stack on the bench.

"Hey, a lot of it's for the ship, not me. Found a new titanium alloy we might be able to incorporate into one of the systems. It's supposed to be more durable than what we're usin'."

"You have only the merchant's word for that," Travis said from the helm where he was preparing to start the engine.

Trip sighed as he sat down in one of the bucket seats behind Travis. "At this point, I'm ready to try anything."

Hoshi almost asked if this had something to do with the intermittent problems the Engineering crew was having with the injector system but caught herself. The last thing she wanted to do was draw attention to herself and the box at the back of the shuttlepod.

"Do you really think this particular alloy will be better?" Malcolm asked as he took the other bucket seat.

Hoshi let out the breath she'd been holding. Knowing Malcolm and Trip, they'd keep each other amused by arguing the pros and cons of Trip's latest idea until they reached Enterprise. Once they docked, her purchase would be a fait accompli. They'd hardly want to turn around and go back down to the planet to take back a couple of--

The engine roared to life. With the slightest of jerks, the shuttlepod began moving upward, and Hoshi's sensitive ears picked up another noise under the usual rumble.

She glanced anxiously at her companions, but Travis was involved in piloting and Trip and Malcolm were bickering good-naturedly. None of them was paying her the slightest attention.

She cautiously reached back and lifted the edge of the blanket. Staring back at her through the air holes were two pairs of green eyes, one set surrounded by fur the shade of orange marmalade, the other by gray fur striped with black. The noise she'd heard got louder.

Hoshi quickly put her finger to her lips, trying to shush them, then felt foolish when she realized what she was doing. She hastily dropped the edge of the blanket.

The ride back to Enterprise took thirty minutes. Hoshi spent the time alternately trying to think up good reasons to keep the creatures and worrying what the captain's reaction would be. He'd brought his dog along, after all. But then again, he was the captain. Nobody had said anything about lowly ensigns having pets on board.

Too soon the docking arm was clamped onto the shuttlepod and pulling them into the launch bay. The side-to-side swaying motion of this procedure upset one of the occupants of Hoshi's container, and she heard a raspy chuffing sound come from under the blanket.

As Trip and Malcolm turned their heads in her direction, Hoshi quickly put a hand to her mouth and coughed. She did it several times as the men looked at her in concern.

"You OK, Hoshi?" Trip asked when her fake coughing fit subsided.

"Yes," she said. "I had a tickle in my throat. You know how they can be."

He nodded and turned back to Malcolm, resuming their conversation.

It wasn't until the launch bay door was sealed beneath the shuttlepod and the bay repressurized that she relaxed a bit. She'd gotten past the first hurdle -- they were on board.

Trip and Malcolm, still involved in their discussion, picked up Trip's parcels. Hoshi slid to the far end of the bench, intending to be the last one out. It was an agonizing couple of minutes but at last the two men departed, still debating the conductivity and strength of the new alloy.

That left Travis. He was shutting down the engine, running down the short post-flight checklist. Finishing up the list, he glanced into the back of the shuttlepod.

"Hoshi? What are you still doing in here?" he asked.

She rose to her feet as he did the same. What the hell, she thought. Everyone was going to know sooner or later.

"I need your help with something," she said as he moved toward her.

She glanced over at her blanket-covered container, and Travis followed her gaze.

"Is it too heavy for you?" he asked. "I can carry it, if that's what you want."

"It's pretty heavy, but I think I can manage," she said, wringing her hands.

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

Hoshi took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. "Cats," she said softly.

He laughed. "That's funny. I thought you said 'cats.'"

"I did."

He stared back in disbelief. "You found cats in the marketplace?"

She nodded.

"Earth cats?" he asked.

She nodded again.

He shook his head. "Hoshi, I really don't think we're supposed to bring animals on board without some kind of permission."

"They were going to be sold--"

"That's usually what happens to animals in a marketplace," he said.

"--for food!"

Her pronouncement rendered Travis speechless. At the stunned look on his face, Hoshi knew she had him where she wanted him.

She moved over to the container and removed the blanket. Two pairs of eyes stared out, one set slowly squeezing shut and opening again as if performing a double wink. The low, hypnotic purring increased in volume.

"I don't want to be around when the captain hears about this," Travis murmured.

"Thank you, Travis," she said, covering the box again. "You won't regret this."

"I'm regretting it already," he said as he picked up the container and moved toward the shuttlepod hatch. "Man, they're heavy. How many are there?"

"Just two."

Hoshi stepped over to the hatch and looked out, making sure the coast was clear. If she could make it all the way to her cabin without being seen and hide them a little longer, it would be even harder to dislodge her two "guests." She might even be able to keep their presence a secret for a time.

Her hopes were dashed as she and Travis started across the launch bay. The door to the corridor opened and in stepped the captain.

Even worse, Porthos was at his heels.

"I saw Trip and Malcolm in the corridor," Jon called out as Hoshi and Travis froze halfway between the shuttlepod and the launch bay door. "They seem pretty happy with everything you got down in the marketplace."

Travis shot a glance at Hoshi and shifted the container, lifting his knee under it to hoist it up for a better grip.

Hoshi looked helplessly at Jon. Knowing the captain, she'd never get past him without him wanting to know what was in the box. Her half-baked plan was going to be shot down.

"So, what's in the box?" Jon asked as he walked toward them.

"Ah..." Hoshi started, unable to think of anything to say.

"It's not mine, sir," Travis said innocently, and Hoshi shot him an evil glare.

"Oh? Helping out Hoshi? That's very gentlemanly, Travis," Jon said with a smile. Shifting his attention to Hoshi, he asked again, "So what's in the box?"

Porthos, who had been pattering around happily, chose that moment to sniff her feet. All three humans were startled when the beagle began to growl deep in his throat and the hair on the back of his neck stood up.

"Porthos!" Jon said. "What's wrong with you? You know Hoshi. Come here, boy."

Porthos ignored his master and turned his beady beagle eyes on Travis, sniffing his boots. The growling continued unabated, growing louder as the dog raised his head and focused on the box Travis was now holding even higher.

"Whatever you have in the box doesn't seem to agree with Porthos," the captain remarked. "What's in there?"

Porthos began barking, jumping up and trying to get at the box which was now vibrating and emitting hissing and spitting noises. The covering blanket slid off onto the deck.

"Travis?" Jon said, a note of alarm in his voice. "Is there some kind of creature in there?"

Travis was too busy to answer, trying to stay on his feet as he danced away from Porthos while holding on to the unwieldy, heavy box, which was coming apart in his hands.

Jon gazed at Hoshi, who broke down immediately. She couldn't lie to the captain.

"There are two cats in there, sir."

"Cats?" he repeated, a frown marring his usually genial features.

"Yes, sir. Cats."

Jon pursed his lips. Without a word, he walked over to Porthos, grabbed the dog by its collar, and pulled him away from Travis. Picking Porthos up and holding him securely in his arms, Jon said, "I'm taking Porthos back to my quarters. I expect to see both of you in my ready room in fifteen minutes."

He turned his back on the pair and strode for the launch bay door, where he turned to take one last look at the two ensigns and the rapidly disintegrating cardboard box.

"Don't bring the cats," he said, and his command was underscored by a snarl from Porthos.

Author's Note: The two cats in this story are very closely modeled after our neighbor's pets, which we would catsit upon occasion, and which now are semi-permanent residents at our house. I couldn't work my own little black cat into the story. However, she did sit on my shoulder and supervise while I wrote this. Any bad puns or jokes about cats are her fault.