You'll be in My Heart by CassandraLexisHallum
A/N: So, I asked my co-worker to pick a number between 1 and 9, he picked 6 and this is what destiny has chosen me to write. I don't know about you but I think Tarzan has some of best music in all of Disney history and is supremely underrated, but anyway this is becoming a tangent. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Angel and the characters are not mine but belong to the outrageously wonderful mind of Joss Whedon. Tarzan is also not mine, thankfully I have my own ape-man at home in form of my boyfriend.
Caution: This story is set up much like my previous Disney song-fic, Something There, in which my key to POV is as follows: Normal=Song, Italics=Wesley, Bold=Angel. Also, it should be known that this fiction follows the canon and is only slightly off course due to the nature of the pairing and is set toward the beginning of the fifth season.
Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry
I knew that making the move to Wolfram and Hart would be hard on everyone. Everyone was suspicious that the next big evil was going to come from us, not from the outside. That, combined with Lilah's untimely death had made Wesley Wyndam-Price an absolute wreck. He "had the wigs" as Harmony so delicately put it. I knew that he still loved Fred and that made my feelings for him so much worst.
It was very late one night, or very early in the morning, however you would like to put it when I found him in his office. I thought he was sleeping so I watched him for a moment, while simultaneously trying to convince myself that I wasn't reverting back to Angelus' habits. I noticed some small noises coming from the office couch; if I wasn't a vampire I probably wouldn't have heard it. He was crying, not sobbing, just softly weeping. I almost walked away, although it probably would've killed me over again, because I wasn't sure if he would be offended that I caught him. Then I heard it. "Angel." It was the quietest whisper I had ever heard in 250+ years of my life. I was at his side in an instant. "Stay." He pleaded with me through the tears. I maneuvered him so his head was resting on my lap as I stroked his cheek. We fell asleep like that but when dawn first approached I woke up to find the former Watcher missing.
Later that morning I found Wesley talking to Gunn and Lorne about some case they were working on. He looked refreshed, he changed his clothes, and there was no sign of any of the emotions that plagued him just a few hours before. We exchanged glances for a moment, then he quickly looked away and I knew we would never discuss what had happened again and that look made me want to fall on a wooden stake.
For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry
After the night Angel caught me weeping in my office, I could not face him. We were up against some of worst evils of our lives, and some, if not all of them would come from within our own walls, now was not the time to grieve over past indiscretions. Why was Angel being so damn comforting? Angel hated Lilah and hated me for my relationship with her. Why would he help me deal with what he clearly considered a victory?
Just before dawn, I woke up and quietly moved without him noticing (Angel was a surprisingly heavy sleeper). I got a spare change of clothes and made my way down to the company gym. I took a shower, changed, and put on my 'happy' face for the day. A couple hours later, I was chatting with Lorne and Gunn about who-knows-what because I checked out of conversation long ago. It was at that moment that I noticed Angel's staring at me. He looked like he had just woken up. He looked slightly tousled and I never saw anything more attractive in my life. I suddenly became increasingly embarrassed and turned back to the discussion about this or that actress to distract myself from Angel.
The next night I was in my office again, thankfully working late and not bawling like a baby. I'm sure he was there longer than I knew but at some point I began to feel like I was being watched. I looked up and saw Angel standing in my doorway. He looked much more put together than he did this morning but it was hard to tell since he refused to look at me.
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" he asked after awhile. He looked up at me with brown irises centered by red surroundings. Angel had either been crying or was extremely exhausted from last night's comforting, I suspected the former. I gave him a confused expression, not really sure what 'this' is. "You sit in the office all night and day, working or grieving, wasting yourself away. When was the last time you were even at your apartment?"
I refused to answer but Angel just kept speaking.
"Lilah's death was not your fault, Wesley. I know you think I'm glad she's dead, but I'm not." I was slightly stunned by this, but Angel continued. "I'm not happy because her death is killing you." I thought of arguing but just settled for nodding my head sadly in acceptance.
In an instant, Angel's arms were around me, holding my impossibly tight. It wasn't like I couldn't breathe but I almost didn't want to. He was so close, I felt so safe that I forgot to be upset about anything.
"You aren't that scared little Watcher you were when we first met. You are changed so much since then, I should know, I been watching you. You are the strongest man I know, Wesley. I love you." He pressed him lips against mine and I knew in that moment that I didn't have to cry about Lilah or anything else anymore. I still missed her, but I didn't love her, not like Angel. And here and now, the man I wanted for who knows how long was kissing me and holding me and keeping me together. That was enough to wipe my tears away from now till the apocalypse.
'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
When I got to Wesley's office I didn't really know what I was doing there. I did some spying earlier that day and found out from the logs that Wesley, the object of my love and affection, had not left the Wolfram and Hart building for over 2 weeks. It scared me so much that did something I hadn't done for a long time. I cried, but not in sadness, in anger. How dare Wesley do this to himself?
That night I knew I wanted to confront his feelings and express my concerns about his living habits, but I hardly expected to kiss him and confess my own feelings to him. It was the way he nodded when I told him he was killing himself, he needed for someone to tell him how important he was, so I figured I would stop being such a 'chicken shit' (Spike's phrase, not mine) and let him know how I felt.
After I let him breathe again and looked in his eyes and I knew that I shouldn't and wouldn't leave him alone tonight. I gathered up his belongings before bringing him into my office and travelling with him in my private elevator to my private penthouse. We kissed again and again on our way to the apartment although none were as passionate as the first. They were chaste and loving, not meant to drive someone into someone's bed but meant to show someone that you care.
After undressing down to our boxers, we climbed into my bed and held each other. It was amazing how well we fit together. I caressed his cheek as a solitary tear fell. It was only then I realized that Wesley hadn't said a word since I walked in his office that night.
"I love you, too." He confessed to me. I kissed him softly and held him close, pressing him against my chest until I could barely hear his breathing, letting me know he was fast asleep. I looked down at him and buried my face in his brown hair. I smiled and fell asleep holding my Wesley.
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always
A/N#2: Please R&R guys, I love to hear from you. So, I already got a bunch of ideas for another Disney based song fics so I would like to put in your hands. I have ideas labeled 1 through 9 and this was #6, so the first person who reviews and gives me the next number, I will write it and credit you in my author's notes.