WWE Christmas Carols!
By SabinsAngel.
Disclaimer: I only own the story and my own version of these songs. I don't own the original versions. That…And I know I'm bashing some of my favorite guys in some of these songs, but I still love them. (smile)
One snowy night, Neko Threw a gigantic Christmas party in celebration of the holiday season. Everyone was there from RAW, Smackdown, and ECW!
Everyone was talking and having a good time until…
"I want to sing some Christmas carols!" Said Jeff hardy.
"Good Idea. But let's transform them a little bit. "Said Carlito.
"How?" Wondered Neko.
"Easy. Just listen to this." Said London, sitting at the piano. They all knew the first few bars of what he was playing.
And as soon as they knew…They started to sing.
First song: Jingle Bells
Jingle Bells
Orton Smells
Umaga laid an egg
Y2J will be a champion soon
And Khali Ran away…
"Oh no he won't!" Said Orton, holding the title like a baby doll.
"You are just so gay, man. " Said Jericho.
London:
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O're the ramp they go,
As Ken fights HBK…
"What?!" Said Shawn, Mid-way through the song.
"I like where this is heading." Said Kennedy.
Kendrick:
The bell throughout the ring
Making the superstars fight…
Oh what fun it is
To run and see them fight tonight…
Everyone:
Oh….Jingle Bells
Orton Smells
Umaga laid an egg
Y2J will be Champion soon
And Khali Ran Away!!!!
"Ok. For the record….I don't stink. I just took a shower before I came here." Said Randy.
"They meant your Wrestling Skills, Dumbass!" Said Jericho. "Hey…That's not a bad idea for a song! Yo, London! Do you know "Frosty the snowman"?"
"Yeah." And he started to play again.
Then…Chris Jericho grabbed his microphone and started to sing. "And I'm sorry if I'm bashing myself in this song…But I'm talking from Orton's Point of View. Besides…He has the IQ Of a Kumquat!"
Second Song: Orton the Jackass
Orton the Jackass Orton the Jackass "There must have been some magic
Was a Super-Evil Soul
With a flattened face and super big hips
And two eyes that looked like coal
Is super-Gay they say
He was made of crap
But I will rap
On How he came to life one day
In that title belt they found
For when they placed it in his hands
He began to dance around (Oh God!)"
Orton the Jackass
was gay as he could be
and all that Vince could say...
He could Hit and play
Not the same as you or me (Oh jeez.)
Orton the Jackass
Knew that he was bored that day
So he said "Go on and Run,
And I'll have some fun
Before I fight Y2J…."
Down to the ring now
With His title in his hand
running here and there
all around the square
Saying "Hit me if you can!"
He led me down the streets of town
Right to a hill of snow
and he only paused a moment when
He hit an R.K.O! (Ouch.)
Orton the Jackass
Had to beat up HBK
But he waved goodbye
"Saying don't you cry
i'll be back to Hit Y2J!" (Yeah right.)
Everyone started cracking up after that song. In fact…Edge shot Egg nog out his nose when he heard that song!
John Morrison was still laughing out loud when he got up and smiled.
"I've got one even better. It's about my Tag-Team Partner, the Miz." He said as he grabbed the microphone and started to sing.
Song Three: Mizzie the Big-Headed Dumbass.
You know 'Tista and 'taker
And Tripsie and Shawn,
Regal and Kane
And MVP and Punk.
But do you recall
The most famous Dumbass of all?
Mizzie the Big-Headed Dumbass
(Dumbass)
Had a really super-big head
(Like a weather balloon)
And if you ever saw it
(Saw it)
You would already be dead
(Like a meteor)
All of the other extremists
(Extremists)
Always laughed and call him names
(Like boulder-head)
They never let stupid Mizzie
(Mizzie)
Play in any Super-Cool games
(Like on the Wii)
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Stone Cold came to say
(Oh dear god!)
Mizzie with your head so big
Won't you help me pull my rig?
Then all the ladies hated him
(Hated him)
And they shouted out with yuck
(Yuck!)
"Mizzie the Big-Headed Dumbass
(Dumbass)
You'll never go down in history!"
(No Way!)
Miz Choked on his beer as he heard the last of the song. But everyone else started cracking up and rolling around on the floor like idiots.
"Aww Man! Why did you have to sing that?" Said Miz.
"Because I felt like it." Said John.
"My Turn!" Said Cody Rhodes, as he walked over to the piano and let London take a break. He picked up the microphone and started singing.
Song Four: I saw Neko Kissing Carlito Claus
I saw Neko kissing Carlito Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She didn't see me creep
'Round the hall to have a peep;
She thought that I in my locker room, fast asleep
Then, I saw Neko tickle Carlito Claus
Underneath his beard so earthy brown;
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Horny had only seen
Neko kissing Carlito Claus last night…
Both Neko and Carlito choked on their drinks…only to get up and start to chase Cody around the house, angrily.
"Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!" Yelled Cody, upstairs now.
Everyone started laughing at the funny chase scene that was going on. Kane started beating the floor in laughter, Matt and Jeff Hardy was cracking up so hard, they fell out of their seats! Edge and Rey Mysterio started crying with laughter. Oh man, it was Hilarious!!!
Cody ran down the stairs with Neko and Carlito on his heels. They finally caught him and gave him a Double-Handed Wedgie as they walked back into the living room.
He pulled his underwear out from his butt and sat down.
"I bet that hurt." Said Matt.
"You have no idea."
"Ok. Now It's our turn." Said Hunter, getting up and started to play the piano, while HBK Stood next to him and started to sing along with him.
Song Five: Vince Got run over by DX
Vince got run over by DX
Walking home from his house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as DX
but as for me and Tripsie we believe.
He'd been drinking too much eggnog,
and they begged him not to go.
But he forgot his medication, and he
stumbled out the door into the snow.
When we found him Christmas morning,
at the scene of the attack,
he had "DX" on his forehead,
and Green Spray paint on his back.
Now we're all so proud of Linda,
She's been taking this so well.
See her in there watching RAW
Drinking beer and
Playing cards with Stephie, Oh well..
" "Well" and "Well" Don't Rhyme, Moron." Said Batista.
"We know that. We just couldn't think at the time."
Vince got run over by DX
Walking home from his house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as DX
but as for me and Tripsie we believe.
It's not Christmas without Vincie,
All the family's dressed in black
and we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up his gifts,
or send them back?
Send them back!! (Oh Don't!)
"Why not?" Said Triple H.
"Because we got him what he wanted! He wanted some Cocks! And I got them shipped all the way from Mexico!" Said Shawn.
"Mexican Cocks? Yeah, He'll like that."
Now the goose is on the table
and the pudding made of bread
and the blue and silver candles
that would just have matched
the hair on Vince's Head.
"He's still alive, dumbass."
"I know that. I'm just going with the story, Shawn!"
I've warned all my
friends and neighbors
better watch out for yourselves,
they should never give a license
to a man who rides in a Limo
and plays with himself.
i
Vince got run over by DX
Walking home from his house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as DX
but as for me and Tripsie we believe!
"Ok. One more song, and that's it. Ok?" Said Matt, trying to breathe through his laughter.
"Ok." Said Carlito.
Jeff got up and started singing.
Song Six: The Hardy Boys are coming to town
"You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
We're telling you why
The Hardy Boys are coming to town
We're making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice
The Hardy Boys Are coming to town
We See you when you're sleeping
We know when you're awake
We know if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
Oh! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
We're telling you why
The Hardy Boys are coming to town
The Hardy Boys are coming to town!!"
And as the songs ended and everyone went home…
Neko and Carlito Slept upstairs in their room while the fireplace started to die down. The Next morning was Christmas Eve…and everyone had a great time.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Miss Neko.