A Little Night Music

J and D do that little "dance" they do. (Hence the title)

{J taps lightly on the door. "C'm in" D calls out sleepily. J quietly enters the room, and seeing D already in bed, she starts to back out. D is surprised to see J and sits up in bed. He is wearing pajama bottoms and a tee shirt].

D: "Joey!"

J: "You're already sleeping Dawson. I didn't mean to wake you up."

D: [still sleepy] "I have an early flight tomorrow and I haven't gotten much sleep."

J: "I should go"

D: "No, stay. It's okay. I want you to stay."

J: [ pauses] "In case I don't have a chance to see you before you leave. You never know when we'll see each other again. It might be years."

D: "Or it could be next month."

J: [smiles]. "A month used to seem like forever. Now it's a short period of time. Funny how things can change like that."

[D is silent. J wanders around the room, picking up and setting down things, a little nervous. No one speaks and time stretches out.]

D: [softly] "I'm really glad I got a chance to see you Joey, and spend some time with you. I've really missed you."

J: "I've missed you too" [She gives him a quick glance, then continues to look around the room, not looking at him. More time passes.]

D: "Joey,…talk to me"

J: [She turns to face him} [gently and a little sadly] "It's late, I should go. I just came to say goodbye. So, goodbye… and good night." [She turns to leave.].

D: [calling out] "Wait, Joey". D starts to get out of bed. J stops. D goes over to her. Her back is to him. He turns her around. She looks miserable and a little teary. ] "Oh Jo" [he says sympathetically.]

J: "This was a bad idea Dawson. You need your rest. I'm going to go, and you can call me when you get back to L.A.. We'll probably see so much of each other next month we'll be sick of each other anyway."

D: "I could never get sick of you, Jo". [He puts his hands on her arms a moment, then lets go. They stand there a moment]

J: "It's just that, what if we don't see each other next month? I keep thinking, what if it is another six months?…or a year? By then, maybe we won't even miss each other. You'll have a new girlfriend, and I…well, you'll have a girlfriend so it won't matter, will it?"

[D looks at J a long moment] "Come get into bed with me Joey, come lie down with me". [J is hesitant].

D: [gently urging] "Come on, I won't bite. I want to hold you for a little while"

J; "I don't think that is such a good idea Dawson." [a little sadly] " We passed that stage a long time ago when I could just crawl into bed with you, no questions asked."

D: "Who says? Show me the rulebook. I want to see that in black and white." [smiles]

"It'll be okay. Trust me"". [J is quiet a few moments]

J:[a little upset] "I'm not ready for you to leave. A couple of days a year is not enough. [pauses] You aren't even gone yet and I miss you already".

D: "I know"[soothing]. "Don't cry." [rubs her arms] "It's cold out here. Come lie down"

[J is undecided. D takes her had and leads her to the bed, sits her down, takes off her shoes and jacket. He pulls back the blankets and settles them both under the covers. J turns toward him and rests her head on his chest. He gently strokes her hair and back. Neither says anything for a long time.]

J: "How come it's so hard to let go Dawson? We are so much better off without each other, but it seems like as soon as we get together…see each other again…"

D: "I know."

J: "I want you to be happy, and we both know I'm not the one to do that."

D: "You do make me happy." [he nuzzles her hair a little]

J: [ruefully] "In between fighting, breaking up, breaking your heart, maybe. That's not good enough. You deserve more. You deserve the best."

D: "I don't think it works that way, Joey. But thank you for the thought."

J: "What do you mean?"

D: "The best person isn't always the right person." {J looks confused].

D: " You know this already, Jo. The person who best matches you, who has all the qualities you are looking for, isn't always the one who makes your world go round. Take Jen and me. I couldn't have asked for a better girlfriend. We just seemed to click on so many levels. But I don't love her. Well, as a friend, of course, and a little bit more. But I don't' love her the way…"

J: [finishing his sentence] "… the way you will when you fall in love with the right person?"

D: [pause] [smiles] "Exactly" [D's expression shows that he might have finished his sentence differently].

J: "You will some day, Dawson. I know it. With a very fortunate girl". [ J tilts her head back and smiles at him. Their faces are only a few inches apart. They exchange warm looks for a moment. It looks for a brief moment like they could kiss, but they don't. J snuggles back down next to him]

J: [softly] "But don't make it too soon, okay Dawson? I'm not ready to give you up just yet".

D: "Joey, I'm not…I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

J: "You're going to L.A. tomorrow".

D: "You know what I mean."

J: [twining her fingers in his] "You should go wherever you need to go D, with whomever you want to go with. I just want to see you one more time before you do, that's all."

D: [calmly] " I'll be back next month Jo. We'll see each other then."

J: [sighs] "Maybe"

D: "I don't know what you are so worried about. I'm not the one around here with the busy social calendar. I'll have to make an appointment to even see you next month."

J: "Not true."

D: "True"

J: [smiles] "Well, I'll be sure to squeeze you in.". [teasing, pretending to be hauty] "It's the least I can do."

D: "Oh, thank you. Thank you very much." [they both smile. Snuggle a little more]

D: "This is really nice." [tightens his arms a moment around her] "You feel good." [putting his face down near her neck] "You smell good."

J: "You should be sleeping."

D: ""Mmm" [murmurs]. [Brushes the hair off her neck and nuzzles her neck a little]. "This is much better than sleeping."

J: "I didn't mean to distract you."

D: [huskily] "You always distract me."

J: [lightly] "I think it's more like women in your bed distract you."

D: "I don't have other women in my bed. I have you."

J: [lowering/deepening her voice] "You know what I mean. Women in general. Past women. Whatever woman is in your bed."

D: [slightly shocked] "Just how many women do you think I've had in my bed, Joey?"

J: [a little sullen]"I don't know. Enough."

D: [amused] "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous."

J: "You're a big boy now, D. You can have as many women as you want in your bed."

D: [still amused] "Well, I appreciate your high estimation of my manly prowess, but it 's not like I'd be bringing all these hypothetical women home to my boyhood room to see my E.T. collection." [he says wryly]

J: "They might want to see your E.T. collection. Ever think about that?"

D: [smiling] "I think I'll save my E.T. collection for you, Jo."

J: "And Jen?" [looks up at D}

D: [D looks at her a moment, considering.] [seriously] "No one's been in this bed but you, Joey, not even Jen."

[J is silent a moment, absorbing this. They look into each other's eyes seriously for a moment. J reaches up and gently runs the back of her hand across his cheek in a gentle caress.]

J: [Softly]"You don't have to do that, Dawson."

D:[lightly] "It's the least I can do" [D takes her had from his cheek and kisses the back of her hand and knuckles.]

D: "This bed is partly yours in a way too, Joey. It just wouldn't be…right". [He looks at J warmly, but he is also clearly a little embarrassed about his sentimental confession].

[J looks pleased and a little embarrassed too.]

J: [firmly but nicely] "You don't have to do that Dawson. This is your room…your sanctuary. You should have whomever you want in your room…and in your bed, if you want."

D: "But I don't want."

J: "You don't have to do this."

D: "Yes, I do."

[J looks down a moment, thinking, her lips pursed a little.]

D: [quietly] "You are the only one I could imagine being in this bed, J. You're the only one I want in this bed."

J: "What about Jen and your other girlfriends? When you bring them home?"

D: [A little humorously, a little serious] "This isn't the only bed in the world, J, or even in Capeside. There are hotels and houses full of them. Even this house. So don't worry about it, okay?" [smiles] "I think I can manage."

J: "Okay" [a sweet smile softens her face a minute, unseen by D]

D: "I like things the way they are now." [He closes his eyes a moment, content]

J: "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you had a "thing" for me""

D: "Always"

J: "That could be difficult for your wife."

D: "She'll have to get used to it."

J "That's not very nice."

D:" We'd have to have a pre-nuptial. She'd have to agree to it first."

J: "She'd have to agree to love, honor and fidelity with a man who has a thing for another woman? Somehow that doesn't sound fair."

D: "More than fair. I only deserve the best. Isn't that what you said? Why can't I have the best of both worlds? According to you, I'm worth it."

J: "Well, in light of this unreserved bragging and blatant self-aggrandizement, I'll have to reconsider my previously mentioned opinion."

D: "Well, I guess I'll just have to marry you then." [murmurs sleepily]: "Then I'll have the best of both worlds."

[D rolls over on his side, turning J with him so they are lying side by side, front to back, spoon fashion. J looks a little startled by his words and the change in position]

[D is half-asleep]

D: [mumbles] "I'll have to get some sleep soon, Jo."

J: "That's okay, I'll go."

[D tightens his arm around her]. "No, stay. I want you to stay… please."

J: "But you need to sleep."

D: "We can sleep together…in each other's arms."

J: [dubious] "That sounds…romantic."

D: "It is."

J: "I thought we were supposed to be saying our good-byes."

D: "Not tonight, Joey, not tonight."

J: [sighs] "If we start getting …close…it will just make it harder to say goodbye."

D: "I know. I don't care. Stay…..And take those pants off!" [throwing back the covers and putting his hand on her jeans]

J: "Dawson!"

D: "I don't mean it that way Joey. These pants are just so stiff. They must be uncomfortable. They feel uncomfortable."

J: [a little annoyed] "What are you doing feeling my jeans?"

D: [annoyed] "I'm not trying to feel your jeans. I'm trying to feel your legs. But I sure can't with these damn jeans in the way!"

J: [quietly and firmly] "I'm not taking my pants off Dawson."

D: "Here" [D rolls over and opens a drawer next to his bed. He takes out some (of his) summer shorts and pajama bottoms.] "Put these on. Whatever you want. Don't worry, they're clean."

J: "I didn't think that they weren't." [amused] "Do you always keep spare clothes next to your bed for the ladies?"

D: "Shut up and put them on."

J: "Well, since you ask me so nicely." [She gives him a huge teasing/pretend grin]

[J gets out of bed and slips off her pants. She steps into the pajama bottoms. D watches and catches a glimpse of long legs and a flash of modest underwear. After neatly folding her jeans, J climbs back into bed, holding up the pajama bottoms].

J: "There, are you happy now?"

D: "Yes, much better."

J: "Did you ever think that maybe I'm not sleepy? It's only eight o'clock."

D; "So, just stay until I go to sleep. I won't make you stay if you don't want to."

J: [exaggerated sigh]. "I'll stay."

D: "Well, excuse me for imposing this torture on you."[ He drapes his arm over her and kisses her ear.]. "Tell me you like being here too, at least a little bit."

J: "I like being here too… [teasing] ..at least a little bit."

D; "Very funny"

[J squirms around a little].

J: " These pajama bottoms are too big. They won't stay on!"

D: "Excuses, excuses. You don't need an excuse to take them off." [teasing} "I know you want to."

J;" You are an evil man, Dawson .Leery. I'm not sleeping in my underwear."

[D teasingly taunts her in a sing -song voice] D: "I saw Jo-ey's under-wear. I saw Jo-ey's under-wear."

J: "You are asking for trouble."

D: "And what adorable underwear it is. Pink, isn't it? With pictures of the little mermaid plastered across the bottom. Or Pocahontas maybe. I can never tell them apart. Little pink Pocahontas panties. With lace along the edges. Very fetching."

J: "You would be so dead right now if you weren't such a good kisser."

D: "Well, thank heaven for small favors." [smiles].

[things are quiet for a moment]

D: "Do you really think I am a good kisser?

J: [warily] "ye-ess".

D: "Better than Pacey?"

[J is silent. She turns in his arms until she is facing him]

J: "I don't think comparing does anybody any good, Dawson. Pacey is Pacey, and you are you. Both different. And both wonderful in your own special ways." [D is disappointed].

D: "Very diplomatic, Joey. I guess that's just your nice way of saying no without hurting my feelings. I should have guessed Pacey is better at kissing than I am."

J: "I didn't say that. I said you were both wonderful in your own unique way. Isn't that a good thing?"

D: "I suppose"

[J puts her head on D's chest]

J: [softly] "Don't be jealous."

D: "I can't help it. The thought of you together makes me a little crazy." [He takes her hand and kisses the palm.]

J: "Well, it shouldn't. It was years ago. Pacey and I wanted to be together, we were together, and now we're not together. And we're still friends. So it's good."

D: "I guess you're right."

J: "I know I'm right" [sassy]. {There is a pause in the conversation. Then D hesitantly speaks]

D: "Being with Pacey was…good?"

J: [sighs] "Dawson.. .." [pauses, thinking] "Being with Pacey was good in most ways. Being with you is better in…some…ways."

D: "What ways?"

J: "Dawson, I'm not going to continue this conversation. All you need to know is that there are certain…things… about you which are better than Pacey, certain things Pacey doesn't have, or I like better in you. And vice-versa, by the way."

D: "Are you trying to make me crazy?"

J: "No. I'm sure you feel the same way about me and Jen. That there are special things about each of us. You wouldn't want me to ask you to compare us either, would you?"

D: [thoughtfully]. "No".

J: "See? Aren't I right?"

D: "Okay, okay, don't rub it in." [pauses]. "But I still want to know."

J: "Well we can't have everything we want in life."

[D still looks unhappy].

J: [sighs] "I love the way you kiss me Dawson. I always have. Okay? Do you feel better now?"

D: "Yes, but…"

J: "What?"

D: "We haven't kissed in a long time."

J: "True, but I would hate for anything to ruin this wonderful weekend, you know? I don't want things to get…complicated."

D: [sighs] "I know. But it is a nice thought."

[He runs his hand lightly up and down her arm]

J: [smiles] "Yes, it is."

D: "You are one young lady hard to resist, miss Joey Potter. Even if you are wearing Pocahontas panties. If you were wearing anything else, you wouldn't stand a chance."

J: [laughs lightly] "Well, I guess it's a good thing for the both of us I am."

D: [wistfully] "I guess it is."

[D looks quietly at J, at her face and arms and chest. He puts out a finger and traces the edge of her collarbone, gently slipping his finger under the fabric of her top an inch or two to do so. J gets really still and quiet watching him.]

J:[low and hesitant] "Do you…are you…are you trying to make love to me?"

[D looks up surprised. Looks at her intently. They are suddenly both very still and serious. D searches her face and eyes, trying to read her.]

D: "Do you want me to?"

[J drops her gaze}

J: "We haven't seen each other in ages, Dawson. You're going back to L.A., and I'm going to Paris in a few months, hopefully, finally. I don't think…"

D [interrupts her] "It's okay J. A simple "no" will do" [He leans down and kisses her shoulder gently]. "I wasn't trying to seduce you Jo. I'm just really glad you're here."

J: "I don't want things to get weird between us, Dawson. It's just really… nice… to be close to you without all the.. I don't know, stress, uncertainty, complications, whatever you want to call it."

D:" You don't have to explain J. You don't owe me an explanation. I already told you, I'm really glad you're here, and I'm sorry if I did or said anything to make you think that I wasn't happy just to have you here."

J: "You didn't."

D: "Good" {things get quiet for a few moments. Both are lost in their own thoughts]

J: "Things just never seem to be simple between us."

D: "Oh, I don't know about that. I can remember daisies, and rowboats, sweet kisses, and some pretty hot make-out sessions. Not to mention about ten years of a great childhood friendship. It didn't seem complicated to me. It seemed like the easiest thing in the world. Still does."

J: "Oh, Dawson. You say the nicest things. Just when I'm trying to keep things in perspective, in control." [She pauses] [Pretend suspicious] "Are you sure you're not trying to seduce me?

D: "Well, maybe just a little"

J: "Well, you're very good at it. Did anyone ever tell you that?"

D: "Not recently."

J: "Well, I guess that's good. You don't need bunches of women paying you compliments. It could turn your head and make you unbearable to be around."

D: "I don't think there's much chance of that."

J: "You are a very lovely man, Dawson Leery., and I mean that in the most macho and masculine sense of the word."

D: "Thank you, I think." [big yawn]

J: "You need to sleep."

D: "I can sleep on the plane."

J: "If you don't go to sleep right now, I'm going to leave."

D: "No-oo. Don't do that. I'll sleep." [pauses, remembering with a smile] "I love it when you get forceful"

[J remembers too, and smiles. Takes a quick amused and fond peek at him]

J: [wistfully] "I hope we do get to see each other next month. Anything longer would be cruel and unusual punishment"

[D smiles, pleased. He looks down so he can see her face. J is sad again]

D: "You have nothing to worry about. Jo. Before you know it, you are going to find the right person, and you'll burn up the place. I just know it. And I will just be a footnote in the biography of your life."

J: "Oh, I think you'll merit more than a footnote."

D: "A page maybe?"

J: "If you are really good, maybe even a whole chapter." [She looks up at him with a big grin]

D: "Well, I guess I'll have to try to be good."

J: [Joey rubs his chest lightly] "You don't have to try. You already are good"

D: "If you keep this up, I might think you have a "thing" for me too."

J:[imitating D with a smile} "Always"

D: [tenderly and a little husky]]"Ah, Jo"

J: "Are you going to sleep now?"

D: [with a wry smile] "Well, I guess it is boring for you to hang around here watching me fall asleep. I'm sure you have better things to do."

[J props herself up on one elbow and looks him straight face to face]

J: [quietly and seriously] "I'm not bored, D. I'm anything but,… okay? "

[D looks at her quietly a moment, then reaches up and smoothes back a strand of her hair, lightly caressing the side of her face. For the first time, a look passes between them, they try to read each other, something J had been trying to avoid, eye chatter. J's face dips down a little closer to his for a moment, intimating they might kiss, but they don't.]

D: [softly] "Okay" [J rests her head on D's chest again].

D: "It isn't me who finds us complicated, Jo."

J: [sighs]. "I know."

D; "Just so you know."

J: [plaintive, a little sadly] "I wish we had more time. It seems like you just got here."

D: "I know"

J: "Maybe we should do something about this."

D: "About what?"

J: "About the lack of time."

D: [smiles]. "Well, there are only so many hours in a day. I don't think we can add any more."

J: "You know what I mean, Dawson. Maybe we should make more time to be together."

D: "I thought you said you didn't want to start getting too close. That you wanted to keep things uncomplicated."

J: "I know what I said."

D: "Ah, the mysterious ways of women."

J: "Dawson, I'm serious."

D: "Do you want to get serious?"

J: "I didn't say that either."

D: "What, then?"

J: [sighs]. "Never mind."

D: "I don't think this is something you can just "never mind" Jo." [Yawns sleepily]

J: "We'll talk about it later, Dawson. You are asleep on your feet, so to speak, and I don't want you to have a miserable day tomorrow because I kept you up."

D: "What's the loss of a little sleep compared to you in my bed?" [mumbles sleepily, tightening his arm around her a moment.]

J: "You say that now, but wait when your alarm clock rings tomorrow morning. You'll feel differently about it then. Suddenly I won't seem so captivating."

D: "I don't think that's possible." [Yawns again]

J: [tenderly] "Shut up and go to sleep."

D: [groggily with a little smile] "Yes ma'am." [Holds her closer]

D: [sleepily mumbles] "If I weren't so tired…"

J: [teasing softly] "Promises, promises."

D:[almost asleep] "I really do miss seeing you, Jo…. more than I realized."

J: [softly]. "I miss you too, Dawson."

[D is almost asleep, eyes closed, breathing deeper. J studies his face a while, thoughtfully, with emotion She runs her fingers lightly down his face, pausing for a moment on his lips.]

J: [softly] "More than I realized." .

[She lifts her head up and leaning down, she brushes her lips gently against his, in a sweet and tender kiss. D stirs a moment and lifts his hand up as if to embrace her. He kisses lightly back a moment before his hand falls away and he is fast asleep. J remains looking at him thoughtfully and serious, bemused, sweetly, and a little sad}. . – FADE OUT-

******

The next morning when the alarm woke Dawson up, Joey was not there. A note she had left said she had to go home the night before to watch Alexander, so that Bessie and Bodie could go out. She had left a flower and a bag of peanuts and M&Ms …and raisins (his favorite) on the bed, as a little parting gift and airplane snack, the note said. Dawson smiled. They had always packed little bags of M&M goodies before going off on childhood adventures. The note had little sayings about film-making and courage and patience, and she had made a wonderful sketch of him sleeping. She must have stayed a while last night to do that. The note also had little doodles of their friends and family, and in the corner a little lipstick kiss. She must have borrowed the lipstick from his mom; she hadn't been wearing any make-up last night.

D felt ridiculously pleased.

A memory tugged at the edges of his mind. Had J kissed him? When he had been more asleep than awake? Was it possible? Thoughts of her warm and sweet lying next to him, teasing him, sad for missing him, filled his mind. Thoughts of her lips soft upon his. More than a thought: a memory. How he wished he had been awake, fully awake. She had snuck a little kiss in when he couldn't really respond, couldn't do anything about it. She was like that sometimes. She left him wanting more. More of her touch, more of her wit, her laughter, her thoughts, even her spirited displeasure More of the feminine sweetness she so often tried to hide. .More of her kisses.

Sometimes she frustrated the hell out of him.

But at the same time, he felt more content, more fulfilled, more patient, in many ways, just being with her than he did with any other woman, with women who gave him all the kisses, and more, that he wanted. She still had that effect on him, after all these years.

He wanted another kiss. No, he wanted more. Not that that would ever happen. She might toy with the idea, but he knew it would only be a passing thought to her. A "what if". Like it had always been since they were 15. A "what if" he knew she didn't want answered. But still…. . He smiled again at the note and sketch and little lipstick kiss. Stranger things had happened. Hope springs eternal, and he was an eternal optimist. He could at least hope for another kiss. That didn't seem like too much to ask for.

********

J woke up happy. She didn't know why, at first. Then she remembered last night. It had been a simple evening, a night she would have taken for granted years ago. But now, with so much time and distance between them, it had been a special night. She had kissed him! How could she have done that, after all her speeches about not getting too close, not letting things get complicated? But being with him, being near him, smelling his clean and masculine scent, hearing the low rumble in his chest when he laughed, that special little smile he had which could melt her heart. Talking, and looking into each other's eyes. She had wanted so badly for him to know that it was a special night for her too, one not one to be taken for granted. That she liked being with him, and wanted to be near him.

Perhaps he would not remember the looks and the kiss. It would be better that way, she thought. But this thought made her sad. Oh, her feelings got so confused around him. She knew that they should keep things at a distance,, but sometimes it just felt so right to be there, with him, next to him, laughing, talking, joking. Kissing. Like the most natural thing in the world.

There was something about him, about them, the two of them together, which equaled more than the sum of their parts. It was a seductive and scary thought, she realized, one better off left unexplored. But still…she could have stayed all night just watching him sleep. The sketch had been a painless labor of love. She had taken such unexpected delight in getting the little note and goodies ready for him. It had been so long since they had been together, just spending time together enjoying each other's company. So long since they had talked and bantered, face to face. And she had felt that familiar pull, drawn to him, her yin to his yang, her feminine to his masculine, her friendship to his. Her smile to his. Her kiss to him. Their history together. As much as she tried to deny it to herself, she knew she had been happy last night.

She had lain next to him awhile last night while he slept, feeling graced. She had even slipped her hand under his tee shirt to lay upon his chest, to luxuriate in the feel of his skin and to feel his heart beat steadily underneath her palm. She had wondered again, for the hundredth time perhaps, what it would be like to make love with him, her friend, the one who still knew her best, despite their separations, the one with a little piece of her heart. A question better off left unanswered. A question she was not willing to answer.

Yet…she could not deny that her heart had stopped a moment when he had slipped his finger under the edge of top, and her breath had caught a moment when she had thought he had other intentions. Perhaps, she thought, another kiss would be all right. Perhaps another kiss one-day would be nice. Another little kiss with no disastrous repercussions. She smiled at the thought. She was not an optimist at heart. But still….she knew that one-day, she would have to kiss Dawson Leery again, consequences be damned. Life was too short. And she wanted to, she realized, very much. Contrary to all the common sense ideas in her head. Despite her protestations that they should remain friends for both their sakes. Against her better judgment.

Certainly another kiss was not too much to hope for. Before he was tied up with someone else. Before he stopped looking at her in that way that he still did. Before they moved on once again.

Perhaps it wasn't over 'till it was over, she thought. It didn't seem like to much to ask for. It didn't seem like too much at all.

-THE END-