Delphine pulled the collar of her coat higher on her neck as she walked quickly up the stairs of the old cathedral. The soft music and warm light escaping from under heavy oak doors provided a sharp contract to the cold Frankfurt winter winds which were driving the rain sideways. With one last look over her shoulder, Delphine grasped the old iron handle and heaved the door open, immediately greeted by booming hymnals and scents of candles and incense. She shook out her umbrella quietly and crossed into the nave and taking a seat in one of the pews closer to the back.

The irony that she would find solace in religion back in Europe was not lost on the scientist. After all, it had only been a few years prior that she had made her mother cry by refusing to attend Christmas mass while home for the holiday. Her parents had always supported her passion for science and exploring the mysteries of the universe, but had hoped that by dragging her to mass each Sunday morning for the better part of her adolescence, she would still maintain the belief that some things can only be explained by a grand creator. Delphine closed her eyes, remembering the last conversation she had with her mother

"Delphine, I don't understand why you can't believe in both science and God."

"Maman, we have had this conversation. It has nothing to do with science; I just can't find a way to wholly believe in something I can't prove."

"But can you not believe in something you can't disprove?"

"Maman…"

"I know. I am sorry. I just want our family to be together in heaven, ma petite."

Heaven, there was no way she would go there even if it did exist. Delphine felt tears begin to well in her eyes. If her family knew what she had done, what her beliefs had blinded her to, how she had failed; she doubted they would ever forgive her. Her throat swelled with emotion as her thoughts continued down the dark path she always found here. Frankfurt was not so far from Paris, a few hours by car or train, she could go see her parents but she had no desire to. Her whole reason for being, for her life itself, was probably lying in the cold ground of a Toronto cemetery. A sob racked her body as the music softened transitioning into the next hymn.

The church was less than a quarter full, weeknight Taizé meditations drew a much smaller crowd than normal Sunday mass, and her cries echoed off the high ceilings and walls of the cathedral loudly but no one paid her any mind. She was fairly certain that she was quickly becoming known as the weeping woman amongst the weekly petitioners, but she did not care. This was the only place she found she could think clearly. Here, surrounded by the soft candle light, the incense, and the gentle, repetitive hymns drifting through the air, Delphine found she could clear her scientific mind enough to reach out into the unknown and beg for a favor. She leaned forward onto the kneeling rail, closing her eyes and resting her hands gently together, and began.

Please, I do not know if you exist or not. In fact, for most of my life I had adamantly thought you did not, and I know that I have no place to ask this of you, but there is someone I love with my whole heart and I cannot help them, so I am reaching out to you. If you can save my, my Cosima, I swear I will never doubt again. I know I cannot atone for the mistakes I had made in the past, they have been far too large, I am not asking for my own salvation but for that of the one I love most dearly. Please, please, please…

Delphine did not truly know to whom or what she was directing these pleas. Perhaps it was the Christian God of her childhood, or something more abstract. All she knew was that she concentrated all of her heart and soul into those three words over and over again each week, please save Cosima. As she repeated her petition, her sobs lessened. She focused solely on her lover's face in her mind's eye: beautiful, radiant, glowing with life and love. Delphine had never met someone so full of life and curiosity, Cosima was a force of nature that came into her life and changed its very purpose. Her thoughts drift to a night not long after Cosima had revealed she was sick.

They were in Delphine's apartment, quietly passing the time. Delphine was seated at her computer desk, typing a report. Cosima had been sprawled out on the couch flipping through a favorite childhood book of Delphine's, one of few personal items she took with her to North America. As Cosima turned the pages, a handmade, paper cross decorated with pressed flowers fell out. Picking it up, she turned to Delphine.

"Delphine, are you religious?"

Delphine looked up, startled by the question. She saw the cross and felt herself begin to redden; this was a topic she usually tried to avoid if possible.

"Why do you ask, mon amour?"

"I'm just curious, I assume you were probably raised Catholic but then again France has a bit of a tumultuous relationship with their Catholic heritage so I could be way off here."

Cosima's hands which had been playing with the cross quieted, awaiting clarification from Delphine, who turned her attention back to her report.

"Non, you are correct. My family is actually very religious."

"And you?"

Delphine inhales sharply, she hates having to explain how she can be both certain and unsure of something simultaneously, but then again, if anyone would understand it would be Cosima.

"Formal religion and the idea of a god, I do not think that is something I believe in, but it is difficult. As a child I enjoyed going to mass, mainly because of the music, and for so much of my life I was told that these are how things are, that there can be both the natural and spiritual worlds, by my parents, pastors, and teachers so it is hard to let go of those teachings. But even as a child I could not just accept their stories, I always wanted empirical proof. It is actually one of the reasons why my family and I are not very close. So, while I think many of the lessons of Catholicism are valid, I cannot bring myself to believe in anything supernatural, rather just the good code of conduct: treat others as you would like to be treated, you know?"

Delphine finished her explanation with her face turned towards her hands. She felt vulnerable and a little embarrassed but she wasn't sure why. Cosima sensing this softly walked to the desk, forcing Delphine to meet her gaze.

"I totally get it. Yeah, like I would say I'm spiritual, I believe in good vibes and karma and all that. I really like Buddhism and eastern readings and philosophies. But, like, when it comes to the big man upstairs, I don't know. I think the idea of religion is beautiful and I enjoy reading about it, but I have a hard time with all the inconsistencies and paradoxes, and definitely how it is abused as justification for terrible actions."

Cosima paused, looking at Delphine sheepishly before continuing.

"Plus, as a scientist I'm always looking for the 'ok, but where is this coming from,' you know, the natural explanation of things. And while I'm not a believer in intelligent design or anything, I constantly find myself in awe of what nature has done to create this beautiful world. Maybe I should say I'm a spiritual naturalist!"

Delphine laughed at her lover's ramblings, but did not comment. She knew Cosima well enough to know her point had not been made yet. Cosima meanwhile continued pacing Delphine's apartment, arms illustrating the arguments she was verbalizing.

"In the end, I don't think they're that different, science and religion, or that they even need to be separate. But I don't like, ascribe to once specific religion. I guess I would rather just focus on being a good person, you know? No dogmas or canon to follow, just being nice to other people and…"

She pauses, turning and walking away from Delphine, "as cheesy as it sounds, hopefully making a difference so when my time here is over I have no regrets." She finishes quietly, fiddling with a small sculpture on the bookshelf.

Delphine is silent. The gravity of Cosima's statement momentarily roots her to her chair. Slowly, she pulls herself to her feet and walks to the smaller woman, gently pulling their bodies together. She kisses Cosima's forehead lightly and then pulls back to look in her eyes.

"Cosima, listen to me. You are the best person I know. You are so loving and so kind. You are constantly trying to make sure that everyone you care about is happy and safe and supported. You are accepting, understanding, and fair. Your passion for knowledge and teaching is unmatched, and you are so patient in how you teach others, it is obvious how much you want them to enjoy learning as much as you. I have no doubt that everyone who encounters you in life feels the same way and that you make a very deep impact. Je t'aime Cosima. Toujours et toujours."

Cosima's eyes are glassy with the danger of falling tears and Delphine pulls her closer allowing the smaller woman to bury her face in the crook of her neck.

"I love you too. Delphine?"

"Yes, mon amour?"

Cosima pauses, taking a deep breath to steady herself before speaking softly.

"I'm not ready for my time to be over…"

Delphine is jarred from her memories by the realization that someone has slid into the pew behind her. Slowly, she sits back from her kneeling position and tries to view the person in her peripheral but before she can, a familiar voice reaches her ears.

"I am sorry to interrupt you, Dr. Cormier, though I must say, I did not take you to be a religious woman."

Delphine does not turn around; she does not want this woman to see her blotchy cheeks and bloodshot eyes.

"I am not, Mrs. Sadler. However, I find the music and atmosphere a comforting place to reflect." She responds tersely.

"Ah, yes. Well, I imagine you are reflecting on life back in Toronto, specifically Cosima?"

Delphine's back stiffens at Cosima's name. She is barely able to choke out the question that burns in her throat.

"Is she…"

"She is alive, Delphine, if that is what you were going to ask, but I am not sure how much time she has left. I am here to bring you back to Toronto."

"Quoi?"

"I'm bringing you back to Canada, love; you're the best shot Cosima has now that Duncan is dead. She has the sequence, but needs your help. I'm sorry; I can't give you any more details, we need to go now."

Delphine is silent, her brain operating at lightning pace. She is going home. Duncan is dead. Cosima is alive, but for how long? What happened to Rachel? How did Siobhan find her? Is this a trap set up by DYAD?

"Delphine; we need to go, are you ready?"

She quickly decides that the questions no longer matter, all that matters is getting back to Cosima.

"Oui, I am ready."

"Alright chicken, let's go."

With shaking hands, Delphine collects her belongings and silently follows Siobhan.

Please mon amour, hang on, I am coming home.