Something Else
PROMPT: "Hey guys! I was just wondering if someone would be interested in writing some theyna? Idc which AU etc etc just some theyna would be hella :)" - hellazhang (tumblr)
She closed her eyes.
There were rules about this kind of thing, right? Older sisters weren't meant to feel…thingsfor their little brothers' lab partners. Especially not for the student body president, department head of the Foreign Language clubs, and captain of the lacrosse team. Especially not Reyna.
No. Not just "Reyna". Because that hosted a small area for possible misconception to just who this girl was. When in reality, there was no wiggle room about it. Thalia was perfectly sure which girl would take no leave from her persistent, obnoxious knocking at the walls of her head. Her insistence to take over every empty moment of absent thought. One girl in particular had her attention above anything.
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano.
And what a girl she was.
As far as Thalia Grace knew, she wasn't meant to feel things for girls in general, but by no means did that stop her from dreaming of the caramel curves of a beautiful Hispanic woman. Did they make rules about this? And more importantly, were there loopholes to get her out of the bind? Her front teeth came out to chew at her bottom lip, one name ever so eager to spill from the confinements she'd set.
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano.
It didn't end. It didn't slow. This constant streaming thought of her. If Thalia knew herself any better, she'd say she was in lo-
No. That wasn't fair. She couldn't admit it. Not when the situation was so fragile.
Sometimes Thalia found herself alone in her room, on days like today, where she would close her eyes and think. Maybe even dream a little. She could hear her brother's laughter in the room over. He had no idea about his lab partner. Would he ever know?
The memory of long black hair swept over Thalia's mind like a curtain, veiling her from the worries and expectations she didn't want to put thought into. Her unsuspecting brother, her narrow-minded mother, and judgment from just about anyone who wandered into her path.
What she wanted to remember was what it was like to have Reyna's fingers pulling through her short, dark hair last week in the back of Thalia's crusty sedan. Or what it felt like to suck a mean bruise into the pulse point of the girl's neck on Tuesday behind the bleachers. She wanted to remember what they had, but maybe she wanted to embellish it a little, too.
Thalia could imagine what it would be like had Reyna not been so adamant about keeping their relationship under the conditions of a secret. Reyna called it "private." But Thalia only felt hidden.
Which, granted, wasn't fair to Reyna either. Thalia knew first-hand how cruel teenagers could be. Their classmates and fellow student body were a school of blood-thirsty sharks. And sometimes not only them, but surrounding adults included. Humans who were supposed to be wise and understanding, and not tell you that you're just "confused". That your sexuality is a mere phase.
Reyna currently had the world on her shoulders. Her metaphorical plate was full, crammed with second and third helpings she didn't want—and the girl was already stuffed. Thalia could empathize to a point, but she would never fully understand the hardships Reyna faced each day with being an important member of the school hierarchy while trying to keep her scandalous secret in the dark.
With everything she had inside her, Thalia wished to flaunt Reyna to each passing stranger. She wanted to hold her hand, strut through the crowded hallways swinging their arms back and forth obnoxiously, and stick it to every petty teenager who ever bullied her since middle school. Everyone who called her derogatory nick-names and sent obscene gestures her way. Thalia wanted them to know just how wrong they had been in doing that to her.
But they wouldn't know. Not with Reyna's reputation put on the line.
The first time it happened—hooking up with the sweet perfection that was Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano—Thalia's chest had swelled. She couldn't keep the grin off her face as she stumbled over herself to please the beauty before her in every way she could think. And as warm and happy she had felt in that moment, she should have expected there to be a catch. Thalia was never that lucky.
Reyna told her that they couldn't tell anyone—told her not to expect a greeting in the hallway. She wouldn't be acknowledged outside of their alone time. In the view of the public, they were nothing more than mere acquaintances.
And that had been a rusty fork to the chest. Thalia wondered whether she was good enough. Was Reyna embarrassed to be associated with her? Her eyes stung and her chest ached, and she tried to believe it when Reyna whispered words, telling her that it wasn't personal. She had priorities—and it didn't slip Thalia's mind that she simply wasn't one of them.
Reyna disagreed—tried to convince her otherwise every time it was brought up. That she didcare about her, that she was enough. That she just wasn't ready to out herself.
To a point, Thalia could understand. It was the hardest thing Reyna would overcome, and she couldn't force her. Didn't want to. But the dirty claws of insecurity had left its mark on Thalia long ago, raked its sharp talons across her chest all throughout her childhood of bullying and out-casting. And there wasn't a way for Reyna to erase the scar with attempted words of comfort.
It was just how things were. Reyna wasn't ready and Thalia wasn't easy to deal with.
She had hope, though. They could be something else. No longer hidden lovers in the shadow of fear and insecurity. Whether today, tomorrow, or after high school graduation, Reyna would realize just as Thalia had. Thalia would realize just as Reyna had. There was no place to run from how you were made. What you feel and who you love. They were important to each other. They could be something else.
And Thalia would wait as long as she needed to.
Her eyes snapped open as she heard footsteps clicking down the hardwood floors of the hallway. Two voices, chatting casually about a project due date. A low chuckle and then a farewell. She turned her head to the side, just in time to see a figure step past her open doorway.
She knew who it was before the figure came to sight.
Reyna smiled, flicking her fingers a little in greeting. The sound of Jason's door latching shut nudged her into peeking her head into the room. "Hey," the girl whispered. "I'll see you after practice tomorrow?"
With a blink, Thalia cocked an eyebrow. And maybe she didn't try to keep her lips from pulling up—there was no reason to try with Reyna around. "What if I don't want to?"
"What if I do want to?"
Thalia let out a breathy laugh. "Fair enough."
When Reyna had gone, leaving nothing but the promise of that same future Thalia dreamed, of a chance to become something else, she knew there was still hope for them. The lingering image of her girlfriend's perfect smile flooded her mind and she sighed.
She closed her eyes.
A/N: This was originally posted on November 12th, 2014. For more, head over to the pjowriters page on tumblr! Send in prompts and read our plentiful PJO fanfiction!