My name is John Smith, I'm 26 years old, and my life is boring.
Well, almost boring.
See, I had a girlfriend, her name was Bailey. And I loved Bailey. She had brown eyes, long, soft black hair, I was taller than her, so she had to stand on my toes to kiss me, she had a cream complexion, and she was just perfect.
That is until I found out she was an evil beast from hell.
I got home early from work, and I go into my room and I found her there...with another man...who's not me...I found my girlfriend in bed with another man who's not me. Great.
Of course, we had a major fight, and we broke up. She started blabbering about me never paying attention to her and how she needed another guy...a better guy than me...that really hit me, so obviously, I kicked her out of the house...along with that bald, unattrac-okay, he was slightly attractive-bloke.
It's been four days, and trust me, a lot can happen on four days.
Manchester United can loose a match whilst they were holding an undefeated streak, in four days, your longtime girlfriend of two years can cheat on you, in four days, and you can get a new boss, in four days.
"Well, kids, I am Miss Pond, I am your new boss. Before we do anything else, I'm gonna set you some limits; 1. no snogging in my bloody office, 2. don't try to flirt with me, you'll end up fired and with a black eye, 3. if any of you lot buy me a coffee without me asking you for it, I might not yell at you-" She said a bunch of other things…long things, at that, but I was too busy staring at her...as if…as if she was a work of art-and I suppose in a way, she was. Long, ginger hair that stops at the waist, side bangs, colourful nails, and never-ending legs...as if God had hand-made her himself. "-Right, then, get to work, shoo." I shook my head, trying to get out of my daze. I walked up to the beautiful (and massively scary, might I add) goddess and offered my hand with a smile, she saw me coming towards her and she made a look of either confusion or disgust…I couldn't tell.
"Miss Pond...I'm John, John Smith, your, err, assistant? My, um, desk is right outside your office and I may have held out a conversation about this on our way up to the elevator?" She took in a deep breath, "yes, correct, John, hello again," she didn't bother to even look at my hand, so it slowly fell down back to my side.
She turned away from me and curled her finger as she disappeared into her office, of course, I followed.
I entered the room, and it was utterly different...I mean, she was different to my old boss also (he was bald and short and fat and cracked lots of dad jokes, but still nicer than Ms. Pond.) The smell of old man cologne and books was gone...and I couldn't really see where I was going, I mean, the place was filled with cigarette smoke, and you could easily smell the bottle of whisky that rested on the table even from where I was standing.
"Okay, John, close the door," I did so, and in a minute, she was in front of me, and I was pinned against the now-closed-door. Ms. Pond took the cigar out of her mouth and held it in between her index and middle finger, letting out the smoke and blowing it onto my face, I coughed. "Listen to me, pretty boy, just because I'm your new lady-boss, doesn't mean you can act all funny and giddy and do things carelessly," she placed the bottom of the lipstick stained cigar between her teeth again, "also…speak to that poor Jessy Clark that sits across from you," as she reached for the door knob, she whispered in my ear carefully, "I heard she likes you." Ms. Pond pulled away and stood a few inches away from me, and in a low, husky voice she said, "Have a good day, Mr. Smith, and send up those drafts from Mr. Gold as soon as they get here," she smirked and walked back to her own desk, the palms of her hands against the wooden frame, "off you pop, John."
And with that, I nodded and got out of that god-for-saken-room a little faster than I intended. I sat down on my desk with my hands shaking and my heart racing as fast as ever.
This was going to be a hard day.
No.
This was going to be a hard year.