Not Always Black and White, Shades of Gray, and One-Hit KO. These stories were written to make Pokémon games funny. But then the writers added another game to the pile: Platinum version. And so, Critical Hit was born! Using the powers of friendship and dumb jokes, Dawn, Lucas and Barry must try to stop Team Galactic before their evil plans succeed.

Now that the intro is out of the way, I'd like to make an announcement. The editor/other writer is the one who owns Platinum, so she got to pick the chapter titles. I might regret that later, but it's too late now.

"...These are the words of the wise Professor Rowan."

"Professor Rowan, huh?" Dawn asked the air as she shut the TV off. "Can't say for sure what I think about him. I like his mustache, though."

She adjusted her hat and glanced at her reflection in the mirror, smiling when she noticed that not a single hair was out of place. You could never be too presentable in these times, especially when you planned to actually go out in public that day. Dawn had woken up that morning wanting cookies, and since she'd saved up her allowance for the past two months, she might as well use it to get a box of pre-made cookies from the grocery store down the street. Buttoning her coat over her dress, she started for the door, only to be ambushed by her friend Barry before she reached it.

Barry had declared Dawn his best friend only days after he moved here six years ago. Her feelings for him hadn't been the same at the time, leaning more toward annoyance and a little bit of amusement. He was just so troublesome, always running headfirst into things, while Dawn thought things through before deciding it was too much work for her and ended up taking a nap instead.

Neither had changed much, but both had changed just enough so Dawn was comfortable calling Barry her best friend, too.

"Dawn!" Barry called, bouncing around. "You're not properly dressed for this! Go put on some pants and let's get going!"

"I'm a girl," Dawn reminded him, brushing dirt off her coat. "You know, a human female? I need clothes, but I don't necessarily need pants."

Barry, distracted by the phrase, coughed into his hand to fight back laughter before remembering what he'd come in for. "There's more than that, Dawn! Meet me at Professor Rowan's lab! No questions asked, and a 10 million fine if you're late!"

And he was gone, leaving his confused and hungry friend behind in her bedroom, her long hair ruffling in the breeze he'd kicked up on his way out.

She would later curse Barry for dragging her away from her content lifestyle, but at the moment, she decided to humor her friend. After all, he might end up getting himself killed, so he should at least die happy.

"So, you saw that thing on TV with Professor Rowan, right?"

This was said before, but it could always use repeating: Barry was hyper, blond, always eager for adventure, and constantly in Dawn's face. It came as no surprise to her that this was his version of a greeting. That said, she took a moment to remind herself why she was friends with him before she answered.

"Yes, I did. Your point?"

Barry ignored her tone, being just as used to her. "Haven't you ever wondered what having a Pokémon would be like?"

"Not really."

Barry glared, his bright orange eyes locking on to her deep blue ones. "You are coming with me to ask Rowan for a Pokémon, and that is final!"

"Why?"

"Because I'll fine you if you don't!"

Dawn closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, slowly counting to three, just as her mother had taught her. "Barry, you fine me for everything. If either of us took that threat seriously, I'd already be paying you all of my allowance and money from whatever job I end up getting until we turned to dust in our graves. What makes you think I'm going to follow you this time?"

But when she opened her eyes again, he was gone. Dawn sighed and headed off to Sandgem Town and Professor Rowan's lab, like he probably knew she would.

"Stupid Barry," she grumbled, kicking a rock and watching it roll away. "Stupid, stupid Barry."

"My mom said we shouldn't go into the grass," Dawn said a few minutes later, backing up from where Barry stood. It hadn't been a lie, her mother had warned her about it. Of course, that had been when Dawn was six and more likely to get electrocuted by a Shinx, but it was good advice no matter what. Not all Pokémon were nice.

Barry just groaned impatiently. "Dawn," he stated, in the same exasperated tone she usually used on him, "going through the grass is necessary to get to Rowan's lab. Besides, we're thirteen. Technically a teen. And teens aren't exactly known for obeying their parents' every order, are they?"

"Not on TV..." Dawn admitted, knowing as the words left her mouth that this was going to end badly.

"Then our moms won't expect us to be any better!" Barry cheered, and grabbed hold of Dawn's wrist. Her instincts hadn't let her down yet. "Ready, now? Let's go!"

"Hold it!" a loud, rough voice snapped, and Dawn immediately turned to dead weight. Finally, someone who seemed to have a speck of reasoning.

Barry stopped moving as soon as he started, falling over onto the ground and nearly taking Dawn with him. She backed away to keep him from looking up her skirt, before she turned to see who had spoken to them. It was an old man with a giant mustache and sharp eyes, and he towered over the young teens.

"You don't seem to have any Pokémon between you," he pointed out. "Why were you heading into the tall grass?"

Barry opened his mouth, but for once, Dawn beat him to it.

"It's all his fault, sir," she explained, pointing at Barry. "I was preparing to go to the grocery store like a good girl, when this human tornado shows up and drags me along to go and ask..."

She trailed off as she realized just who she was speaking to. She really should have seen it sooner, as she'd been fascinated by that mustache since she was small. "Professor Rowan?" she mouthed weakly, and sunk to the ground. "That's a relief."

Professor Rowan turned his sharp eyes on Barry, who fidgeted a little under the harsh stare. But then Rowan turned away, and began talking to himself. Dawn caught a few words of it: "change," "Pokémon," "path," and other disconnected syllables she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to understand. Finally, he turned back to the pair of stupid kids.

"Do you love Pokémon?"

The two exchanged a look. "That's kind of why I dragged her out here," Barry said. "So we could ask Professor Rowan...uh, you, for a Pokémon."

Professor Rowan shook his head in shame. "I'm almost afraid of what would happen to Pokémon in your posession," he said, "but if it will keep you two out of trouble, I suppose I have no choice."

"What." Dawn couldn't even make the word into a question. It didn't make sense to her, though Barry seemed to be processing it. They'd nearly died, and the professor had openly admitted that he was afraid of what might happen, so now he was giving them Pokémon? "Professor, thanks for the offer, but I'd really prefer to go home."

"And what will you do if your friend here needs help with something important?"

"Leave him to die?" Actually, she'd probably call the police to help him out, but Barry didn't need to know that.

Barry tugged on her scarf just once. "You're the worst friend ever, do you know that?"

"I'm well aware."

Professor Rowan looked her over again. "Even so, I think you'll enjoy having a friend that doesn't drag you off on adventures against your will." Dawn refused to admit that he had a point, not in front of Barry anyway, but he seemed to know what she was trying not to say. "Now, where did I put it?"

"Professor!" a new voice called, and a boy appeared from the lake area, a briefcase in his left hand and his hat slipping off his head. "You forgot your briefcase at the lake!"

"Ah. So that's where it went. Thank you, Lucas."

Lucas adjusted his hat, before he noticed the other two. "Who are these people?"

"A pair of crazy kids who tried to endanger themselves for Pokémon."

Dawn, again, pointed at Barry. Lucas turned to the professor, alarmed.

"And you were just going to hand them over?" Lucas and Dawn were on the same wavelength, Barry noted. "Professor, I'm sure they're not criminals, but shouldn't we be prepared, just in case?"

"Would you rather have them die?" the professor questioned back. "Think, boy. What would that accomplish other than making a big mess of things?" Lucas clearly had nothing else to say to that. Rowan summoned all his patience an opened the briefcase, revealing the three red and white balls resting inside.

"You two," he said, holding it out to Dawn and Barry, "pick your first Pokémon."

"You go first, Dawn," Barry said, giving her a push forward that she assumed he meant to be gentle.

Dawn stared into the briefcase, staring at the dim outlines of the Pokémon through the red caps. She recognized all three shapes, but which one should she pick?

Should it be Chimchar, the adorable fire monkey? What about Turtwig, the cute little turtle with the magic grass powers? Or maybe, just maybe, Piplup the penguin?

Once she'd made her choice, and Barry his, Professor Rowan made them swear to never recklessly endanger themselves again and walked away, leaving Lucas to chase after him. Once Lucas was out of their sight, Dawn turned to head home, but felt someone's eyes on her. Turning back slowly, she groaned as she saw the look on her friend's face.

"Oh, Dawn..." he sang creepily, his new Pokémon's ball in his hand. "Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" She knew, though. Oh, boy, did she know.

And Barry did not disappoint her. "It's time to battle! Go, Chimchar!"

Dawn sighed and reached for her new Pokémon's ball. "All right, Turtwig. Let's get this over with."

That evening, Dawn and her new Turtwig were celebrating their victory over Barry and Chimchar with the cookies that she'd bought on the way home, while her mother wasn't even touching the one Dawn had given her.

"You went into the tall grass?"

"No," Dawn said immediately, taking another bite of triple-chocolate cookie. "Barry almost did, but I stayed right where I was." She smiled innocently. "Besides, Professor Rowan caught us before anything bad happened. Don't worry so much."

"It's lucky that you two met the professor, then," her mother continued. "You should go and thank him for the Turtwig."

"All right," Dawn said, shoving the rest of the cookies in the cupboard. "I'll go tomorrow."

Beside her, Turtwig yawned his agreement.

Johanna, on the other hand, was much less relaxed about it. "Immediately, Dawn," she ordered, and her daughter pulled herself off the couch and put on her coat once more, before leading Turtwig out the door.

"Stupid Barry," Dawn said again, and started trudging her way through the town.