Summary: How exactly did the debate of 'if cavemen and astronauts got into a fight who would win?' come about in 'A Hole In The World'?
Disclaimer: I do not own Angel the series or any of the characters in this fan fiction story.
"What are you doing in here?" Angel sighed as he walked into his office only to find Spike sitting at his desk with his feet up on it while reading a magazine. "And get out of my chair!" He demanded, already growing angry at Spike's presence.
"I'm busy." Spike stated not bothering to look up at Angel.
"You're reading a magazine, I actually have work to do." He replied as he walked over to his desk. "Not that you'd understand the concept of work." He added more to himself then to Spike.
"I'll have you know that this happens to be a very important article!" Spike argued back. Angel scoffed. "Could just be a matter of life and death for all you know." He said and Angel walked over behind Spike to get a look at what he was reading. He rolled his eyes when he read the headline.
"Life and death?" He asked annoyed "It says if cavemen and astronauts got into a fight who would win." Angel stated and Spike shrugged as he brought his feet down off the desk and turned the chair to be facing Angel though still not looking up at him.
"Well it's a matter of their life and death...Well the caveman's life, the astronauts death."
"Astronauts death?" Angel asked chuckling a little. "You don't honestly think the cavemen would win do you?" He asked causing Spike to put the magazine down and finally look up at Angel.
"Yeah actually I do. It's not much of a competition really." Angel shook his head.
"You're right it's not a competition." He said and Spike nodded his head thinking he won until Angel started talking again. "Astronauts would win hands down." Angel said before walking back around to the front of his desk. He began flipping through files and didn't notice Spike stand up and walk up to him.
"You've got to be bloody kidding me!" He told him laughing lightly at Angels opinion. "Astronauts wouldn't be able to survive against a little girl, let alone cavemen!"
"Astronauts are smart Spike." Angel told him as he turned so they would be face to face. "Cavemen have less brain power then you. And believe me that's saying something." Spike scoffed at him.
"Oh yeah you're right they get into big machines and fly up to the moon and float around with the lack of gravity. Brilliant really! In the mean time cavemen have fire and weapons, which of course would be of no use against the floating guys!" Spike replied, his words dripping with sarcasm. Angel groaned, getting angrier with each word.
"Do you even hear yourself?" Angel half yelled. "Intelligence and careful planning goes a lot further then reckless violence!"
"It's a fight Angel! Reckless violence is what it's about." Spike yelled back. Angel rolled his eyes.
"Or it could be well thought out and effective." Angel told him and Spike laughed.
"Yeah and how many times has that worked for you?" Spike asked mockingly. Angel sighed.
"Astronauts have common sense. They can come up with a good strategy to fight so they'll win."
"Cavemen are strong! Way stronger then astronauts and they have clubs. One good hit on the head and it's nap time!"
"You don't know what you're talking about." Angel said as Spike started to walk away from him. "Not that I'd expect you to understand – that would just be to much to ask for you." Angel said slightly sarcastically.
"You just can't accept the fact that someone else is right about something!" Spike said stopping and turning back to face Angel.
"Common sense Spike! It's not that hard to figure out who's right here!" Angel yelled at him.
"It's bullocks Angel! Your brand of bullocks from first to last!" Spike yelled back extended his arms in frustration.
"You can't ever see the big picture. You can't see any picture!"
"I am talking about something primal. Right? Savagery. Brutal animal instinct." Spike said walking back towards Angel till they were face to face again.
"And that wins out every time with you. You know the human race has evolved Spike!" Angel yelled before turning around and walking away from him again though Spike followed closely behind.
"Oh Into a bunch of namby-pamby self-analyzing wankers who could never hope to accomplish-"
"We're bigger. We're smarter. Plus there's this thing called teamwork not to mention the superstitious terror of your pure aggressors!" Angel yelled turning around once again to face Spike.
"You just want it to be what you want it to be."
"It is not about what I want!" Angel yelled.
"Sorry." A voice interrupted and both Angel and Spike turned their heads to see Wesley in the doorway. "Is this something we should all be discussing?" Wesley asked and Angel backed away from Spike and sat down on his desk.
"No." He replied.
"It just sounds a little serious." Wesley told them.
"It was mostly...theoretical." Angel replied. "We-"
"We were just working out a-" Spike started but then stopped. "Look, if cavemen and astronauts got into a fight who would win?" Spike asked crossing his arms and looking at Wesley expectantly.
"Ah...You've been yelling at each other for forty minutes about this?" Wesley asked and Angel looked down. Wesley crossed his arms and thought for a few seconds. "Do the astronauts have weapons?" He finally asked receiving a simultaneous "No" from both Angel and Spike. Wesley nodded.
"Hm...Well then cavemen." He stated causing Spike to send an overly triumphant look towards Angel and Angel to slam his fist down on the desk behind him in aggravation.
And there ya go. The cavemen and astronauts scene was the result of a magazine article! Haha Review please.