Help Wanted
An original script by Enigmatic Ellie
(With immeasurable thanks to the insidious S.J. Richard)
TEASER:
Title Card: Friday morning
FADE IN
INT. HALLWAY
CJ walking. SAM enters.
SAM: CJ.
CJ: Sam. Hey, what do you know about the corrections thing? Are their enough votes to override the veto?
SAM: Maybe. Leo and Toby are on it. I don't think they're worried.
CJ: No? Why?
SAM: They didn't say they were worried.
CJ: That's all?
SAM: It's enough
CJ: Okay.
SAM: And Josh didn't get called home.
CJ: He comes back today.
SAM: Yeah, but they didn't call.
CJ: So?
SAM: Well, I think they'd want him.
CJ: If they were going to twist some arms?
SAM: Influence some compromises.
CJ: Whatever.
SAM: Uh, CJ?
CJ: Yes, Sam.
SAM: Have you noticed? They're trying to break us up.
CJ: I didn't realize we were an item.
CONTINUOUS-
INT. CJ's OFFICE
SAM:. Not us us. I mean all of us.
CJ: Who's trying?
SAM: Well, ultimately it would have to be Republicans. Probably.
CJ: Okay. Why?
SAM: Divide and conquer.
CJ: This is about David Shoreham's column?
SAM: Yes. Quote: A high-ranking member the President's staff is leaving for greener pastures, end quote.
CJ: Uh huh.
SAM: Greener, CJ. More money, that's what he meant.
CJ: You're a regular Kreskin, Sam.
SAM: I'm serious.
CJ: He was musing on a possibility not a fact. It was fodder for a column. It wasn't a real thing.
SAM: So you weren't offered a job at CNN?
CJ shrugs
SAM (cont.): Ah ha! There's that and Wilkins and Meyers.
CJ: The political consultants?
SAM: Yeah. They're calling Toby--a lot.
CJ: That means nothing.
SAM: I also just heard a rumor Josh was offered a book deal.
CJ: Josh?
SAM: Yes.
CJ: What could he write? One thousand and one ways to insult a conservative? Lifestyles of the irritating and arrogant?
SAM: I heard they offered him a million dollars.
CJ: They didn't.
SAM: They did. And Harvard.
CJ: They're giving him Harvard? Sam doesn't that sound a tad exaggerated?
SAM: No, a post at Harvard. The JFK School of Government.
CJ exits. SAM follows.
CONT. INT. HALLWAY-
CJ: Have you spoken to him?
SAM: In Seattle? No, but I'm calling him now.
CJ: To ask about job offers?
SAM: Well... yes. Do you think Toby knows anything?
CJ: Not usually, but I'm sometimes wrong about that.
SAM: I meant about Josh. He's been in the back seat lately. Do you think that's because Leo and Toby think he's jumping ship?
CJ stops. SAM stops with her.
CJ: Sam, you know that it's not even 7 a.m. yet?
SAM: Yeah.
CJ: You know I haven't had coffee?
SAM: No, but if you say so.
CJ: And you think I can read Leo and Toby's minds anyway?
SAM: If you're gonna work for CNN, you have to be ahead of the curve.
CJ: You're calling Josh? (SAM nods) You know that Seattle is three hours behind us?
SAM: Yeah. He won't mind.
CJ: (walking away) Yeah, and what color is the sky in your world?
CUT TO-
INT. HOTEL ROOM in SEATTLE,
A CLOCK SHOWS 4:33 a.m.
Tight screen showing only Donna sleeping with her head resting on a man's chest; his arm is draped around her. The phone rings.
DONNA: (sleepy) Hello.
SAM (VO): Sorry, I think I have the wrong number
DONNA: (quietly) Sam?
SAM (VO): Donna?
DONNA: Yeah.
SAM (VO): Oh, I was trying to call Josh.
DONNA: Hang on; he's here.
SAM (VO): In your room? It's barely four a.m. out there. What's up?
DONNA: Nothing. He's not.
SAM (VO): Not what?
DONNA: Not in my room.
SAM (VO): I'm confused.
DONNA: That's not a first.
Camera pulls back. JOSH asleep beside DONNA.
DONNA pokes him.
DONNA: Josh!
He awakens suddenly and sits bolt upright.
JOSH: Donna!
DONNA: What?
JOSH: You're in my bed!
SAM (VO): WHAT?
DONNA: Well, now I'm awake. (hands him the phone) Here. We leave in an hour. Talk to Sam.
DONNA exits.
JOSH: Sam?
SAM: Donna's in your bed?
JOSH: Uh... no.
SAM: You said she was in your bed.
JOSH: (looks toward the open door to her room) She's in her room.
SAM: How did she answer your phone from her room?
JOSH: She wasn't in her room when she answered the phone.
SAM: Which begs the question....
JOSH: Is there a reason for this call?
SAM: Apparently many, but I only had one issue when I dialed. Frankly, it doesn't really interest me much now.
JOSH: Great (looks at clock). Anything else?
SAM: One thing.
JOSH: What?
SAM: Why was Donna in your bed?
JOSH hangs up.
SMASH CUT TO:
MAIN TITLES
FADE OUT
ACT ONE
FADE IN
INT. LEO'S OFFICE.
TOY ENTERS
LEO at his desk reading.
TOBY: Leo, we've got trouble.
LEO: Right here in Rivercity? Imagine that.
TOBY: Actually, it's closer to Kansas City. It involves the corrections bill that the House is...
LEO: The House is trying to hold our hands to the fire. Yeah, I know.
TOBY: We're about to be doused in gasoline and lit. Just got word from the US Marshall Service. Two federal prisoner's escaped from custody in Phillipsburg, Kansas while in transit through the state.
LEO: How?
TOBY: They were being transported by Bureau of Prison's officers. Stone and Valdez..
LEO: The guys?
TOBY: Yeah, they killed one BOP guard and seriously wounded two others. They have at least two guns among them.
LEO: They're violent offenders?
TOBY: They killed one officer with a toothbrush handle and shot the other two with his weapon. I believe that qualifies.
LEO: I meant the crime that landed them in custody.
TOBY: Conspirators in the killing of a US Marshall six years ago. They were serving life sentences.
LEO: Wonderful.
TOBY: Yeah.
LEO: This was supposed to be our by-week. We've got the domestic violence thing we're announcing. As damage control, how do you think it will spin?
TOBY: It'll go over great with women's groups, medical community and educators.
LEO: But the prison thing will be louder?
TOBY: Resoundingly. With the House bill hanging out there, the gun lobby is going to pummel us. The boosts to the violence against women prevention laws don't mean squat to these people. Hell some of what we just passed takes guns out of the hands of some ornery Casanova's with loud friends in low and high places.
LEO: So you're saying the bounce is gonna get lost?
TOBY: I'm saying forget any hopes of bounce. We lose on the veto, and we are going to be drown beneath an NRA tidal wave. Then the women's rights groups are going to backlash at us for letting it happen during their thing. We're posting some serious double zeros if we don't control this.
LEO: Ideas?
TOBY: Obviously, we need to make a visit Hill.
LEO: Yeah. Josh's back today. I'll talk to him. (Toby sighs and looks at his shoes) You don't want me to talk to him?
TOBY: Here's my thing. The key to this is Louis. Tredwell.
LEO: (suspiciously) And you think Josh would be bad. Why?
TOBY: Oh, I don't know Leo. 'Cause Rep. Tredwell's important for the moment, and he's a member of our party who is in a position to hurt us. In this instance, I think he might want a modicum of respect when he deals with us.
LEO: Josh can come up with a modicum of respect for Tredwell.
TOBY: The last time he doled out a modicum of anything to the man Josh was...
LEO: Toby, he wasn't there to be friendly. I said lean on the guy and Josh did.
TOBY: He did a bit more than lean, Leo. There are certain factions--definitely outside this building but within the Party--who feel Josh was... disproportionately abrasive; that perhaps he want too far.
LEO: Josh made him cry.
TOBY: Since your arguing my point, I take it we are in agreement? Leo, this is delicate.
LEO: This again? (sighs) He's not a liability, Toby.
TOBY: I'm not saying he is, but he is. Anyone of us can be if we aren't careful. We've had this discussion several times, Leo. Josh's track record for the last year is... That aside, my concern is what I've been seeing recently. Lately, he's just not... Look, I don't know how those things go, but I do know you don't get cured over night. In delicate situations, for now, I would prefer not to have...
LEO: It's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Toby. You can say it.
TOBY: Saying it doesn't make me feel any more comfortable. This needs a light touch.
LEO: I don't know that Josh would be worse with Tredwell than any of us.
TOBY: Yeah, you don't know, and I'd feel a hell of a lot better if we didn't find out today. Leo, I'm looking at a 10 point drop in the numbers in less than a two week period, and now it looks like our own party is running for the hills on the prison bill. If they override the veto, we not only lose a valuable bargaining chip for our education and health care packages, but the public sees our party as split, or worse that they are turning their backs on us. We can't have that right now.
LEO: Okay.
TOBY: Just for this. We play it close and safe. That's all I'm saying. I'll have Sam reach out.
LEO: He's gonna notice that I don't send him out to play anymore. He's gonna ask.
TOBY: Let him ask. He's a big boy, Leo. If he can still play, then he'll can get over it.
LEO: If? Toby, as far as I know, Josh is quite able to speak peaceably with rebelling congressmen. If they happen to be sissies, we should expect a few tears. (TOBY stares). Right. Sam sees Tredwell. That all?
TOBY: Yeah. (turns to leave) Oh, Sam is concerned the Republicans are plotting against us.
LEO: We've been here nearly three years; he's just figuring this out now?
TOBY: CJ said he thinks they're trying to hire us out of the White House.
LEO: That's more polite than kicking our asses in the next election. This is the Shoreham thing?
TOBY: Yeah. You heard about CJ?
LEO: CNN? She interested?
TOBY: Don't know. Sam's concerned.
LEO: Who's courting Sam?
TOBY: I don't know. But more to the point, I could care.
CUT TO-
INT. CJ's OFFICE
CJ at her desk. DANNY enters.
CJ: What? Why are you smiling?
DANNY: It's lunch time. I always smile at lunch.
CJ: I'm not lunch.
DANNY: I was just picturing you sitting in the press gallery with the rest of the fun crowd.
CJ: Not you too.
DANNY: Me too? Someone honing in on my territory?
CJ: I can't tell you how flattered it makes a woman feel when a man refers to her as territory. So what's next? Do you lift your leg to mark your spot?
DANNY: They hit you with some serious numbers?
CJ: Who?
DANNY: CNN.
CJ: I have a job to do here.
DANNY: Yeah, a job that pays you a fraction of what your worth and can take up to 20 hours of your day. Plus, it prevents you from having the social life that you want.
CJ: Says who? You don't know what kind of social life I want. Maybe I have exactly what I want.
DANNY: Okay, you can't have the social life I want. Joining the Fourth Estate could be the answer to all our problems.
CJ: I don't have any problems other than you interrupting me right now.
DANNY: They're talking prime time, CJ.
CJ: Not interested.
DANNY: Really? Then why are you having breakfast with the producer tomorrow?
CJ: How do you know that?
DANNY: I can't tell you the tricks of the trade until I know you're joining this team.
CJ: I guess asking for a preview of the secret handshake won't do any good either?
DANNY: (standing) You're a smart woman with a stunning camera presence. I know you do this job well. I know you know that. I want to make sure you think about all the benefits a change of venue might bring.
CJ: I am a smart woman, Danny. I think of most everything.
CUT TO-
INT. HALLWAY-
JOSH and DONNA enter.
DONNA: I'm sorry it was a bad flight, but I don't control the weather, Josh.
JOSH: Donna...
DONNA: I know you don't feel well.
JOSH: I feel fine.
DONNA: You're not. You should take echinacea
JOSH: Leave me alone.
DONNA: Are you still mad?
JOSH: You might have asked.
DONNA: You were asleep. The air conditioner in my room was broken, and I was freezing.
CONT.-
INT. JOSH'S OFFICE
DONNA (cont.): We had adjoining rooms, and you didn't lock the door.
JOSH: It wasn't an invitation. Besides, there was a couch.
DONNA: It wouldn't have been good for my posture. Did you know that superior posture is considered an asset in some cultures?
JOSH: You're making that up.
DONNA: You should see a doctor.
JOSH: I'm not sick.
DONNA: And drink green tea. I read an article recently by an herbalist. Do you know the benefits of...
JOSH: Donna, don't talk to me.
CJ enters
CJ: Welcome back. Aw, why the sour faces? What seems to be the problem, kids?
DONNA: Welcome to Josh's very-bad-awful-no-good day.
JOSH: (to DONNA) Go away. (To CJ) What's up?
CJ: We're meeting.
CONT. INT-
FOLLOW JOSH and CJ DOWN THE HALL
HEADING TO OVAL OFFICE
CJ: You all right?
JOSH: (coughing) Fine.
CJ: You don't look all right.
JOSH: You're wearing ugly shoes.
SAM enters
CJ: Hey, how was your thing?
SAM: It... was.
CJ: That bad?
SAM: Yeah.
CJ: Great.
CJ walks ahead
JOSH: What thing?
SAM: How was Seattle?
JOSH: Foggy.
SAM: Did it rain?
JOSH: It was foggy.
SAM: Usually a lot of fog means it's raining.
JOSH: You've studied meteorology?
SAM: No, that's just an observation. Know what else I observed?
JOSH: What?
SAM: Donna answered your phone.
JOSH: It wasn't my phone.
SAM: It wasn't?
JOSH: Technically it belongs to the hotel.
CUT TO-
INT. OVAL OFFICE
CJ, TOBY and LEO standing. BARTLET sitting behind desk.
JOSH and SAM enter.
TOBY:... and that's a minor improvement over last week, but as I've been saying I'd feel better seeing some consistency.
BARTLET: Good afternoon, gentlemen.
SAM: Good afternoon, Mr. President.
JOSH: (coughs) Whatever... uh, sir.
BARTLET: We're discussing consistency. Toby doesn't think we have enough lately. What do you think?
SAM: Hadn't really thought about it, sir.
JOSH: Ditto.
BARTLET: Well, that's a start. Okay, Leo. I've been having a rather good day. I take it from this gathering that you are about to ruin all that.
LEO: Yes, sir.
BARTLET: This is about Kansas?
LEO: Yeah.
JOSH: What about Kansas?
SAM: The escape.
JOSH: Kansas escaped? It's a landlocked state.
BARTLET: How I've missed the witty repartee.
LEO looks hard at JOSH.
LEO: You feel all right?
JOSH: I'm fine.
LEO: (hands JOSH a folder) Read.
BARTLET: Okay, while Walter Winchell gets back in the loop, tell me what you know about Nebraska.
CJ: A massive accident outside Alma reported hour ago. A busload of high school kids on a field trip. Twelve confirmed dead--that's 11 kids and the driver of the oncoming car; about 10 more are critical. The bus and car hit; the bus went off the road and ended up in a river.
JOSH: The Republican River?
CJ: I thought you didn't know.
JOSH: It was a guess. It's the only river I know in Nebraska.
SAM: You know any rivers in Nebraska?
JOSH: I've been spending too much time around Donna.
CJ: The cause of the accident is under investigation.
BARTLET: A field trip. Was Bob Holloway's grandson onboard?
SAM: Congressman Holloway?
CJ: (to SAM) Yes. (to Bartlet) He didn't know for certain. I'm supposed to be calling him now.
BARTLET: By all means. Keep me informed.
CJ: Yes sir. Thank you, Mr. President.
CJ exits
BARTLET: Okay, Kansas.
CUT TO-
JOSH's BULLPEN.
DONNA sorting through mail.
GINGER enters
GINGER: Just get back?
DONNA: Yeah.
GINGER: How's things?
DONNA: Things are vague, but I work in Washington where vague is good, so things are good.
GINGER: This got dropped off. (hands her envelope) It's for Josh. Feels like a video tape.
DONNA: Hmm. A mystery, that might lighten the day.
GINGER: Josh in a mood?
DONNA: Always, but especially when he's sick.
GINGER: What's wrong with him--outside the obvious?
DONNA: Nothing.
GINGER: Okay.
CONT. FOLLOW GINGER DOWN HALL
PASSES CJ
CUT TO-
FOLLOW CJ TOWARD HER OFFICE
CAROL: CJ, Congressman Holloway's office on line two. It's Mitch Adler.
CJ: Thank you. (CJ enters her office) Mitch, it's CJ. What can you tell me? (pause) Okay. Keep me informed. Thanks. (hangs up).
CAROL enters
CAROL: Was he?
CJ: Yeah.
CAROL: Poor kid. How bad?
CJ: Not good.
FADE OUT
END ACT ONE
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
INT. OVAL OFFICE
TOBY, LEO, SAM and JOSH surrounding desk talking to BARTLET
TOBY: So, I'm saying we need to press the issue, but subtly. They can't override your veto, sir.
BARTLET: Oh, is there an amendment to the Constitution I haven't read that allows me to forbid an override when my approval rating gets squishy?
JOSH: That would be sweet.
BARTLET: No it wouldn't. Toby, it's part of the process. This is not dire.
TOBY: I beg to differ, sir.
BARTLET: Toby, have some faith in our Party. Have some faith in this staff.
TOBY: Not all of our Party are believers.
BARTLET: And what of our staff?
TOBY: I'll plead the Fifth.
JOSH: It's an easy fix.
TOBY: When is anything easy here? I don't think it's wise to discount what this could mean. Louis Tredwell and his tantrums could be expensive.
JOSH: Tredwell? You're worried about Representative Milquetoast?
TOBY: Don't start.
JOSH: I suddenly feel revived.
TOBY: Don't start.
JOSH: It looks like my day is picking up.
TOBY: No. It looks like we don't support imprisoning felons and because we don't we've let some cop killers loose in the heartland. It doesn't take a political genius to see that we are being painted as being soft on crime. The NRA and their wingnut affiliates are screaming that since we don't protect innocent citizens, naturally they need to do it themselves with automatic rifles.
SAM: Well that's original.
BARTLET: Yes, I predicted that. I've got the knack of this political game, wouldn't you say?
TOBY: It's like have Rasputin in our midst.
BARTLET: They first tried to poison him, Toby. Do you know who else they tried to poison?
SAM: Caesar?
BARTLET: Mithridates. He was ancient eastern ruler who, unbeknownst to his court, took a little bit of poison with each meal. He built his tolerance up so that when the time came and his court turned against him, they couldn't finish him off the way they planned. The traitors stared in awe and horror as he ate his poison-laced meats and didn't so much as shiver. They feared him so much they stopped trying to kill him. He died a very old man. What do you say to that?
JOSH: Terence, this is stupid stuff.
BARTLET: Good lord! Josh uttered a literary reference--and a correct one no less. I think that frightens me more than encourages me.
JOSH: Happy to oblige.
LEO: That's all for now, sir.
BARTLET: Thank you gentlemen, that will be all. Josh, hang on for a second.
LEO: Josh, when you're done here (points to his office)
JOSH: (to LEO) Sure.
LEO: Thank you, Mr. President.
TOBY, LEO and SAM exit.
BARTLET: Okay, I've gotta know. How did you, of all people, know I was referencing the poem 'Terence, this is stupid stuff'? I'm having a hard time believing you actually picked up a volume of A.E. Housman's poetry.
JOSH: That would be because I didn't, sir. (pauses to cough) I read it on a wall.
BARTLET: Like graffiti? Where?
JOSH: It's in a frame, hanging in your den in New Hampshire. I read it the day you were elected.
BARTLET: Smart boy. (grins) You look awful, Josh. Take your plague and leave my airspace.
JOSH: Thank you, Mr. President.
CONT.
INT. LEO's OFFICE
JOSH enters
JOSH: Okay, coach. What's the plan?
LEO: Close the door.
CUT TO-
COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN
SAM standing at GINGER's desk.
SAM: Would you know if I've been getting all my messages?
GINGER: I don't know. Have you?
SAM: I don't know.
GINGER: What did you miss? Something important?
SAM: No. I mean, it was probably nothing, but it could have been something.
GINGER: Uh huh.
SAM: See, what I think is that I missed a message.
GINGER: When?
SAM: I don't know.
GINGER: From whom?
SAM: I don't know that either, but I think there must have been one. I mean, someone might have called and someone took the message.
GINGER: This is the call from you don't know from when and you don't know from whom?
SAM: Yeah.
GINGER: So you probably don't know what it was about.
SAM: That I know. It was probably a job offer.
GINGER: Someone offered you a job, but you don't know who or when? How do you know?
SAM: Oh, I know.
GINGER: Okay then.
CUT TO-
INT. LEO'S OFFICE
LEO seated at his desk. JOSH sitting opposite him.
LEO: So, I wanted you to know.
JOSH: Say that again.
LEO: Sam talked to Tredwell.
JOSH: Sam talked to Tredwell?
LEO: Is there an echo? Yes! For the fourth time, Sam talked to Tredwell. Toby asked him to reach out.
JOSH: Toby asked Sam?
LEO: Is there something wrong with your hearing?
JOSH: Did it work?
LEO: No.
JOSH: Right! And you know why?
LEO: Because...
JOSH: Because Sam talked to Tredwell!
LEO: That's one way to read it.
JOSH: Leo, you don't know Tredwell like I do.
LEO: It's a good thing, too. I'm meeting with him. I'd hate to walk in with even more baggage.
JOSH: You? Leo, you're the Chief of Staff. He's the junior idiot of the Party who pouts to get his way. You talking to him sends the wrong message-- that he's... he's...
LEO: He's a problem, Josh.
JOSH: Yeah, but not a big one. This is an unnecessary show of force.
LEO: Force? I'm not gonna put him in a headlock.
JOSH: This will only encourage him. Let me go.
LEO: No. You'll go over the VAWA package one last time with Sam. He's working on the president's speech.
JOSH: And do what? Proofread or just applaud when asked?
LEO: He's meeting with a lawyer from NOW this afternoon, and..... (JOSH sighs then starts to leave) Where are you going?
JOSH: My office. I thought I'd count all my staples--you know, get a jump on your task list for next week.
JOSH exits
CONT-
INT. HALLWAY
JOSH walking. DONNA approaches.
JOSH: They sent Sam for Tredwell, Donna! Sam! Can you believe that?
DONNA: Sure. Speaking of Sam, he's going to ask about...
JOSH: Nothing happened.
DONNA: Not a thing
JOSH: But don't say even that.
DONNA: Why not? Sam knows.
JOSH: No, he doesn't. He's confused.
DONNA: That never stopped him before.
JOSH: (stopping) Never speak of it to anyone.
DONNA: Isn't the act of denial a seed from which rumors blossom?
JOSH: No.
CUT. TO-
INT. TOBY'S OFFICE.
TOBY, SAM and CJ talking.
SAM: ... and I checked everything five times. I don't need anyone to explain the bill to me, Toby. I helped write it.
TOBY: So did Josh. That's why he'll be helping you.
SAM: Is this because I didn't get anywhere with Louis Tredwell?
TOBY: No.
SAM: 'Cause if it is...
TOBY: It's not.
SAM: I still say this isn't necessary.
TOBY: You can pout later.
JOSH enters
CJ: I forgot to ask: How was Seattle? Are the environmentalist and corporate barons happy?
JOSH: (yawning) Never since I've known them. Sam, we got the thing in 20 minutes?
SAM: Yeah.
JOSH: Okay. What exactly is my job there?
SAM: Keep quiet and look interested.
JOSH: That sounds productive.
CJ: It's code for: Don't get snippy with the feminists, Josh. Maybe you should take a nap before you go.
SAM: You are looking a bit weary. I guess you didn't sleep much in Seattle.
JOSH: I have nothing to add to this conversation.
TOBY: Anything new from the consortium about tankers and the newly proposed regulations?
JOSH: They don't like them, but there won't be any surprises in how they attack us. So, I guess my final answer is, no. It's in my notes.
TOBY: Do you have them?
JOSH: Donna has them.
TOBY: Have you seen Donna?
JOSH: I don't have to answer that. (Turns to leave) Oh, hey, CJ. If I don't see you before you go, have fun at CNN.
SAM: You're mocking me.
CJ: Don't worry. I'll be here a while. I'm holding out for a bigger dressing room that Greta Van Sustern. How's the book?
SAM: You're both mocking me.
JOSH exits.
TOBY: What book?
SAM: Connard, Greeley and Maxwell.
TOBY: The publishers?
SAM: Yeah, they've offered Josh big money. He's also considering a post at Harvard.
CJ: It's all part of the vast Republican conspiracy to strip the White House of the senior staff.
TOBY: So I've heard. To what end?
SAM: A new group of people in here could disrupt the way things run. It could ruin our precision.
TOBY: That would be a shame. We screw up in perfect unison now.
CJ: Sam, what offers do you get?
SAM: I'm dedicated, CJ.
CJ: Yeah, yeah. Great honor and serving at the pleasure of and all that... But what offers?
SAM: Everyone knows I'm dedicated. I think that's obvious so...
TOBY: So no one's trying to woo you away?
SAM: It's well known that I'm dedicated.
TOBY exits to his office
FADE OUT
END ACT 2
FADE IN-
INT. CJ's OFFICE
CJ at her desk. SAM enters
SAM: Any word on Holloway?
CJ: Nothing new. Hey, Sam. Check me on the Kansas thing. So these guys pull a disappearing act, killing a man in the process, and somehow this makes us look bad because...
SAM: We vetoed a bill for corrections spending because basically, it only increased the number of prison beds.
CJ: And that's a bad thing.
SAM: Not necessarily, but it costs too much for too little. Plus, there was a bigger price tag on the bill. If we said yes to it, then we wouldn't have the support we need for another bill want that will restrict the purchase of certain types of guns or funding for certain prevention initiatives.
CJ: This is the same old game, Sam.
SAM: Yeah, but this time that money we want is supposed to be allotted to violent crime prevention programs--the ones we're presenting in a couple days. It could get locked up if they override the veto.
CJ: So there are enough votes to override?
SAM: Yesterday, no, because the swing votes were backing the White House. Today... maybe. The problem is some of the votes in our column got shaky when all hell broke loose in Kansas; we aren't sure. Like I said this morning, maybe we're not worried.
CJ: Are you worried?
SAM: Yes, but Leo's not.
CJ: How do you know? This the Josh/Tredwell thing?
SAM: Yeah, I have my strengths.
CJ: Such as your dedication.
SAM: Dedication is a virtue. As for Tredwell, personally, I would have sent Josh to...
CJ: Make the vacillating congressman cry?
SAM: He has a knack.
DONNA enters hands SAM a folder
DONNA: Here Toby said to give you the EPA notes. Who has a knack?
CJ: Josh.
DONNA: He can be special like that.
SAM: Special? Is that why you were you in his room?
CJ: How do you know she was in his room?
SAM: She answered the phone. Or are you denying it?
DONNA: I'm not supposed to deny it.
CJ: You're not?
DONNA: I'm not suppose to speak of it either.
SAM: Why?
DONNA: I think because denying it won't start rumors.
SAM: I don't understand.
DONNA: Yeah, Josh said you were confused.
DONNA exits.
SAM follows.
CONT. HALLWAY
SAM: What aren't you telling me?
DONNA: Nothing.
SAM: It's something.
DONNA: It's nothing.
SAM: Nothings are usually somethings.
DONNA: Then why the two words?
DONNA exits. SAM ponders before continuing down hall.
CONT-
HALLWAY
SAM walking. JOSH approaches.
SAM: I'm going to run through the big changes in domestic abuse law; they're going to hit us with with stats (which we already have) and then they're going to say we didn't push hard enough for more sweeping changes, such as federal restrictions on gun possession for anyone convicted of felony level domestic abuse or for less restrictive immigration laws for aliens being abused by their US citizen spouses.
JOSH: Yeah.
SAM: Then I'll point out that we've gone farther than any other administration for them, and we aren't done yet. That's when I'm going to slide in the heat we're catching from Kansas and how loud, vocal support from them will be of the utmost help to their cause and our continued drive to push for changes in legislation.
JOSH: Utmost? We're looking for a human shield from political flack.
SAM: Right. That's my job. So, are you set?
JOSH: Yeah. I serve no purpose here. I say nothing.
SAM: Yeah. This should be a first.
JOSH: Yeah.
SAM and JOSH enter Mural Room
CUT TO-
OUTSIDE OVAL OFFICE-
CHARLIE and MRS. LANDINGHAM at their desks
MRS. LANDINGHAM: Charlie, do we know anything more about Representative Holloway's grandson?
CHARLIE: He's in critical condition with head injuries.
MRS. LANDINGHAM: You are always very prompt with your answers, Charlie. That's a marketable skill.
CHARLIE: So I've been told.
MRS. LANDINGHAM: Have you? You aren't leaving the White House, are you?
CHARLIE: Of course not.
MRS. LANDINGHAM: Because if you were, Sam would really know it's a conspiracy.
CHARLIE: If I get any tempting offers, you and the president will be the first to know.
MRS. LANDINGHAM: Good. But if you don't get any, don't feel insulted.
CHARLIE: Why not?
MRS. LANDINGHAM: Sam has that angle covered, too. Apparently those who don't get offers should considered themselves above approach because of their dedication.
CHARLIE: Maybe I should offer Sam my job. To make him feel better.
MRS. LANDINGHAM: That wouldn't do anything for the president's comfort zone, Charlie.
FADE OUT
END ACT 2
ACT 3
Title Card: Saturday morning
INT. CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE OF REP. LOUIS TREDWELL
LEO and TREDWELL sitting opposite each other
TREDWELL: Leo, I appreciate your attention to this. I respect the manner in which you are dealing with this matter. This is more like what I expect.
LEO: You expected something?
TREDWELL: You've put deputy pitbull on a tight leash. I congratulate you.
LEO: I don't know what you mean.
TREDWELL: We are serious men, Leo. Serious men can do business, so long as they afford each other the dignity they want.
LEO: Louis, I'm not here to deal. I'm just delivering a message. Support us. No "or else" or threats. Just do it.
TREDWELL: Well, see that's a problem. My constituents are not pleased with recent events. They are concerned and, as their duly elected representative, I, too, am deeply concerned. Public safety is my only consideration at the moment. If overturning the president's error in vetoing this legislation protects my constituents, then I and my colleagues will do it.
LEO: There's no error with the president's actions, Louis. The error is the one you are about to make. You don't control your colleagues, Louis, not many. Not really. They're just huddling for cover during the storm. If you won't stand with us, so be it. We'll do this without you. In fact, we'll do just about everything without you.
TREDWELL: The fact that you are the one here shows me how important this issue is to the administration and merely confirms how serious this vote will be. I believe what we have here is a reciprocal acknowledgment.
LEO: A what?
TREDWELL: I, too, am important.
LEO: Our Administration acknowledges and appreciates every member of our Party.
TREDWELL: The administration? I take it the exception to that rule is The Prince of Darkness.
LEO: Josh can be a royal pain in the ass, if that's what you mean.
TREDWELL: He's unstable, uncivilized and thoroughly unprofessional.
LEO: Well, he's none of those, but he is as loyal as the day is long. A rare find in this town. I suggest you find one of your own, because if you pull a stunt like this again, you will find out what a old political pitbull can do to you.
TREDWELL: You're not stupid, Leo.
LEO: That makes one of us.
TREDWELL: You know the position I'm in; there's a wild fire raging back home, and I am doing everything I can to fight it. What would you have me do? Turn my back on the very people who sent me here and let them burn in this conflagration? They are the reason I must support the override and will prevail upon my colleagues to join me. It's a question of public safety. That is paramount in my thoughts. I cannot be thinking of my political career when the lives of others are placed in danger.
LEO: Are you broadcasting this to a county fair?
LEO's cellphone rings.
LEO: Hold your stirring oration. This might be my drycleaner. (Turns away and opens phone). McGarry.... Yeah.... When?..... How?..... He was?.... Son of a bitch. Are they sure?..... Yeah..... The kid?.... Thanks. (closes phone and shakes head).
Turns back to TREDWELL
LEO: (stands to leave) Well, this is finished.
TREDWELL: How is that? We haven't made a deal?
LEO: I wasn't here to deal.
TREDWELL: I disagree.
LEO: If you suddenly feel cooler, it's because the hottest part of your fire is out. Valdez and Stone are no longer at-large.
TREDWELL: Dear God, how many shots fired to bring them in?
LEO: None; so much for your nifty speech. Valdez was picked up hitchhiking. Stone was also taken without a gun being drawn.
TREDWELL: By who? Superman?
LEO: No, an old friend of mine: Jack Daniels. (pause) Stone stole a car that got clipped by a drunk driver.
TREDWELL: That was lucky.
LEO: Interesting take. But no, not lucky. The drunk driver was operating a bus full of kids.
TREDWELL: Not the one...
LEO: Yeah, that one. Turns out the bus driver was legally intoxicated. Bob Holloway's only grandson was on that bus. He didn't make it.
TREDWELL: He was only 17.
LEO: He was 15. So tell me, Louis. By this evening, who do you think your constituents will be more afraid? The two escapees or the thousands of drunks behind the wheel every night? Public safety is paramount in your concerns....
TREDWELL: Okay, your votes are solid, Leo. (sighs) You guys dodged a bullet.
LEO: It's a bit late, but we'll take it.
Title Card: Saturday afternoon
CUT TO-
INT- JOSH'S
CJ, JOSH, SAM inside
TOBY: (pokes head in) Tredwell and his coven are rolling our way.
SAM: Good.
TOBY: We also locked in a couple insurance votes.
SAM: We're certain?
TOBY: Chris Wick just confirmed. (to Josh) You made a phone call?
JOSH: He called me. We had a conversation. Wasn't official.
CJ: So, the new story is the danger on our nation's highways?
TOBY: For now.
CJ: DWI, the politician's secret weapon. God this is a sick country.
SAM: Tell me about it. Think about what we did. We try to help police by taking guns off the street, but in order to do that, we limited the number of beds to put the bad guys in when the cops catch them. We vetoed a corrections bill. Then we had to look for cover. Who do we turn to?
CJ: Women's organizations that mistrust and castigate the police for not tackling the problem of domestic violence better.
SAM: Where do we come up with this stuff?
TOBY: Our beds are very crowded.
CJ: Some more than others recently. (Glances at Josh and smirks)
JOSH: I won't miss you when you leave, CJ.
CJ: Does this mean I won't get to answer your phone in the morning?
TOBY: What is she talking about?
JOSH: She didn't to self-medicate today.
TOBY: (to Josh) Leo mentioned you wanted to see me.
JOSH: Yeah, you and Leo. (coughing again) We should talk.
TOBY: I'm going there now.
TOBY exits
CJ: You gonna make it?
JOSH: Yeah.
SAM: What's with the secret powwow?
JOSH: A discussion.
CJ: About what?
JOSH: My new job.
CUT TO-
INT.- LEO'S OFFICE
TOBY and LEO are talking.
LEO: It was close when it didn't need to be.
TOBY: Doesn't matter now.
LEO: You read Tredwell wrong.
TOBY: He's with us. Leo, that's all that matters. No veto. Let me savor 30 seconds.
LEO: Without Wick and company, it would have been closer.
TOBY: Close doesn't bother me after the fact, Leo. It's like in baseball. You can have a bad throw, but there's no such thing as a bad catch.
JOSH enters
LEO: Josh, I haven't seen a memo so I take it there will be no sabbatical to write a book.
TOBY: A million dollars travels fast.
JOSH: A million seven actually.
TOBY: Not any easy thing to say no to.
JOSH: Depends.
LEO: On what?
JOSH: On if you're actually leaving anything behind.
LEO: Something on your mind, Josh?
JOSH: Tredwell, Seattle and before that a handful of busy work. While the rest of carry on, I just pretend to work for the President.
TOBY: We made the plans for Tredwell before you got back from Seattle.
JOSH: I shouldn't have been in Seattle in the first place. You sent me to take minutes at a second rate EPA conference. It just feels so... convenient. So, where will I be during the next crisis? Locked in my office counting paper clips for a GAO audit?
LEO: Josh, it's not like...
JOSH: I'm being punished. I'm pretty sure there's a law that says you need to tell me what crime I've been accused and convicted of.
TOBY: Josh, don't take it personally. It was a sensitive matter.
JOSH: Tell me what we do that isn't a sensitive matter?
TOBY: In this case, we thought this way was best. That's all.
JOSH: That's all? What does that mean?
BARTLET listening from the doorway to the Oval Office
LEO: Josh, it's not a vote of no confidence.
JOSH: Like hell it isn't, Leo! You've set me aside like damaged merchandise.
LEO: Josh, that's not...
JOSH: Leo, I know I'm arrogant, but I've never had the audacity to judge you by your flaws. (Pause) Either put me back in the game or let's end this. I don't want to waste my time, and you sure as hell don't need me to waste yours. (starts to exit)
LEO: Josh.
JOSH: (pauses in doorway) Leo, I can't work for people who don't trust me.
JOSH exits
BARTLET enters
BARTLET: (holding a book) Thoughts on Abstract Art for History. Fascinating thing history. Our own is as rich and colorful as the pictures in this book.
TOBY: As convoluted, too.
BARTLET: Yes, the hypocrisy of democracy. This country was forged in a cauldron of it. A group of men sign a piece of paper proclaiming freedom, yet half of them are slave owners. But I find a certain amount of solace in the inequities littered throughout our nation's history. I think of it as a primer. It shows us the possibilities in many things, such as from great failure can come great innovation; or that even flawed individuals can serve great purpose. I appreciate the irony of a nation of imperfect people trying to form a more perfect union.
LEO: Don't we all.
BARTLET: I bet Josh would argue that you don't. That was an interesting conversation.
TOBY: Mr. President, this is not Little League. It's too bad if we hurt his feelings. We did what we thought was best.
BARTLET: I'm not saying you were wrong. I'm saying he was right.
LEO: Sir?
BARTLET: What's the point of having a thorobred if you're going to keep it locked up in a stable? They are borne to race. You're doing him no favors by protecting him if you think he's... How did he put it? Damaged merchandise. You'd be keeping him around for your comfort, not his.
TOBY: This was important. It needed careful handling.
BARTLET Strange, I don't recall the word finesse being on his resume--I doubt it was ever in his vocabulary. In fact, that's one of the reason you brought him on in the first place, isn't it, Leo? When I take the long view, I notice that Josh wins more often than he loses; those are the kind of odds I like. He has more enthusiasm and more stamina for this administration than I do some days. It's in his blood, Toby. He wants to race.
TOBY: Sir, I understand. I just wanted to be sure. It's not like....
BARTLET: Do you know what a hero's trial is?
LEO: You go through something terrible ordeal. If you pass, you arrive at the end battered and scarred but a better and wiser person.
BARTLET: Precisely. Josh's trial is over, gentlemen. Time for the verdict. I would hope we could all agree on a conclusion and have no doubts. Unfortunately, Josh already does.
TOBY: Doubts what? Himself?
LEO: No. Us.
CUT TO-
INT. JOSH'S OFFICE
JOSH sitting at his desk coughing.
CJ ENTERS
CJ: Do you have active-TB or something?
JOSH: I wish.
CJ: That's a strange wish.
JOSH: Those are ugly shoes.
CJ: What is it with you and my shoes?
JOSH: Flagrant attempt to change the subject.
CJ: You failed. You know, if you tried sleeping once in a while you wouldn't be sick.
JOSH: All I want to do is sleep lately. I'm exhausted.
CJ: It shows.
JOSH: How was brunch with the network?
CJ: Who told you?
JOSH: Sources.
CJ: Ask your sources then.
JOSH: They wouldn't go for a bigger dressing room?
CJ: I told them to call Sam. (pause) Hey, Leo wants to see you.
JOSH: Great. (drinks from water bottle to ward off coughing spell)
CJ: Stop fencing with me, Josh. What's wrong?
JOSH: Nothing.
CJ: Josh, you're lying.
JOSH: It's nothing. (coughs again)
FADE OUT
THE END
Coming next...."Off to Camp"
-- A staff at war with itself is mandated by Bartlet
to spend a weekend together.