A/N: Collection of Tony and Ziva centered snippets. Some will be shippy, others friendshippy, none will have a plot, most will be inspired by prompts I found on tumblr. Each chapter is a one-shot in its own universe.
Ratings will vary. This one has some adult language and innuendo.
Ziva was putting the finishing touches on her makeup when a stumble in the shower stall next to her made her look away from the mirror in alarm.
"Fuck me!" Tony yelled.
"If I must," Ziva answered loud enough to be heard over the spray of water, trying not to laugh. If there was one thing she had learned over the years, it was that the more he complained about being hurt, the less serious his injury was. She turned her attention back to the mirror.
From the corner of her eye she saw Tony scramble to his feet behind the frosted glass. He turned off the water, opened the shower door and looked at her with a pout.
"If you must, Ziva?" he questioned, mock-hurt.
Careful to check her grin, she gave him a short head tilt, and stepped in closer, looking him up and down
"I have been known to sacrifice myself for the greater good," she deadpanned.
"Wow! You're sacrificing yourself by fucking me, huh?" he said dramatically, clutching a hand to his chest.
"Well," Ziva said and stepped in even closer, making sure not to get her clothes wet. "You are great…and good."
Tony grinned broadly and she stood on tiptoe to give him a searing kiss, swatting his wet hand away when he tried to pull her to him.
"Of course, if you ever want me to sacrifice myself again for the…" She let her eyes rove over his naked, wet body slowly. "Greater good," she continued huskily, "you will not repeat that to anyone."
Ziva turned to tidy up the sink countertop. "Now hurry up, we don't want to be late for work." She looked at him pointedly. "Again."
"I can think of at least half a dozen reasons why we absolutely do want to be late for work. Again," he said teasingly, waggling his eyebrows.
A/N: prompt: Who slips in the shower, yelling "fuck me!" and who smirks and mutters, "if I must"