Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all the things. I just write this stuff.
Part of the Emotions Challenge (emotion: determined) and the Year Long Scavenger Hunt (F04 – Write a collection of drabbles [at least 5] with a specific theme).
Defect
At first it was fun. There weren't any limits to the things they could do. Death Eater was a name feared only second to the Dark Lord's. It had its advantages, being a servant. Though there wasn't a benefits package, there was the ability to do whatever you wanted to whomever you wanted, so long as the Dark Lord arranged it. But when you're peeling off the skin of a half-wizard's face because the man in the black robes commanded it, the thrill of the torture lost its luster. Soon after, I realized that this man could kill us all.
I started to hear things that weren't there. A creak in the stairs sent me grasping for my wand. The very concept of betrayal, as if thinking it made it so, was enough for a man like the Dark Lord to pounce on the opportunity to remind his followers to remain in their place. I had had one thought, an inkling: perhaps this wasn't right. You see, I was young. Carefree. I didn't have to worry about shit like morality. But the more I thought about what I had done in his name, the more I was disgusted with myself.
I was tasked with a mission: find and kill a certain Muggle-born witch. 'Nothing showy,' he had said. 'Another disappearance will do just fine.' Before, this would have been simple. Find, kill, discard. But once you have a moral thought creep in, you can't go back. When this isn't right continues to circle over your head like a vulture, you know that unless you change something you'll become the corpse those vultures are circling. So, I let her go. I don't remember her name, but she kissed my hand and told me I was a good man. I doubt it.
Duplicity was now all-consuming. I was betraying the only people I called family, the only thing I had been sure was the right path. The Dark Lord continued a plan which he had conceived from his days at Hogwarts. He told only his most loyal servants what his plan was. I had not been a part of that exclusive group… until today. 'Regulus, my lad,' he said. 'You have proven to me that you are devoted beyond a doubt.' When he explained the plot to me in full, my heart fell in my chest and I was sure I'd vomit.
He cannot die. He cannot die. What good was betraying him going to do if the bastard wouldn't die? I was just about to give up the whole idea when a thought hit me in the side of the head with the force of a Disarming Spell. He can die, but only if someone can destroy his entire soul. His soul was currently in five pieces. I would need to find a way to destroy them first. I could go to the Order. Sirius is probably a member. Perhaps… No. I can do this on my own. I have to.
The Dark Lord threw Bellatrix to the floor. She had displeased him. The thought was once again driven home to me that he would kill every single one of us, if he didn't need us. He had been careless, though. He had let slip the location of one of his horcruxes—or so I guessed. What else could tear a soul asunder? I was already formulating a plan to infiltrate the cave when the Dark Lord cast his gaze upon me. 'Bella,' he said. 'You should be more like Regulus. He never makes a mistake.' If only that were true.
It was dark in the house. I went to the kitchen where Kreacher was stewing something awful-smelling in a pot on the stove. 'Kreacher,' I said. 'Come with me.' He held my hand and we Apparated on the edge of a cliff amid the ocean. Kreacher looked scared, but I ignored it. I had no time for flippant emotion. I had one job to do, and I had to do it. I brought Kreacher into the cave, slit my palm as I had done before, and the stone gate opened again. There were just two more things to be done.
He had made this place elaborate. The blood curse to open the gate, the boat to get to the island, the island's basin and the concoction within. I knew it needed to be drunk, but I was certain it would do some harm to me, and by the end, I wouldn't be able to get the horcrux, let alone destroy it. Which is why Kreacher was here. I told him to take the locket and go back and try to destroy it. I hoped I would be going with him, but I very much doubted it. This was my redemption.
My screams pierced the quiet walls of the cave. Kreacher was grabbing at my arm, wailing because he couldn't help me. My final gulp of the crystal clear liquid had me wreathing on the ground in pain. 'Kreacher,' I said. 'Get the locket and go!' He released me from his clutches, climbed up on the basin and grabbed the locket. Then he disappeared. So much pain. So much thirst. I hauled my body toward the basin and dropped the fake locket in. Water, water, water… As the Inferi pulled me in, my last thoughts were an optimistic plea: fight him.