Good evening, ladies and… are there even any gentlemen among us here? Anyway, as I was saying: Welcome back to the wonderful, extraordinary, fantastiscious works by Jonz – a pure talent in the arts of writing (and everything else as well, but don't let it get to her head, guys)!
Before anything else, I would like to apologize on our (this is BehindTheWords by the way) behalf for not updating any of our stories in ages, whether it is one of our individual works or CCK, which we're writing together. We know we suck – but do not dare to think we've forgotten about you, our dear readers. We talk about you a lot, and do write on the rare occasions we get. However, life has been a mess lately, and we do not want to disillusion you by promising anything. We know we will keep on writing, and we definitely will update, but we just don't know when exactly that will be.
That being said, we adore you all for leaving reviews, alerting, faving and sending PMs. Thank you so much – you truly are the best. ..Despite some of the rather rude yelling happening in our inboxes. But I suppose that's what we get for breaking your trust, eh. For the people who have been wondering about why I am writing this Author's Note, here's the answer: Jonz is currently sick and asked me to write it instead. She managed to finish the story right before she suddenly got very sick last night. There is no need to be overly concerned, but I'm sure our lovely writer wouldn't mind a few encouraging words that could give her a reason to smile despite the rather intense pain she's experiencing at the moment. Now, enough chitchat. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I did. *bows as she walks off the stage, tipping her imaginary hat (Fedora, because we love it)* - BehindTheWords
Disclaimer: Spashley still isn't mine. Still should be though, shouldn't it?
Warning: No smut, therefore not for those insensitive smut searching whores. .... :D
The kitten's name is Jack
The nice lady was there again. She knew it, because whenever the nice lady came she would pull the curtains to one side and open the windows to let some fresh air in. That's how Spencer knew the nice lady was there.
The nice lady's name was Ashley, but Spencer sometimes forgot. It was like the rest, really. Sometimes it came, other times it went. She didn't know why, but it was okay. The nice lady didn't seem to mind. Not too much.
Spencer opened her eyes, and sure enough Ashley was standing by the window, knotting the curtains up to one of the pegs. Her eyelids fluttered slightly at the sudden bright light, yet she smiled as Ashley turned to face her. The nice lady smiled back, and for a second Spencer thought that the light from outside was nothing compared to the light coming from that smile. She didn't know why, but the nice lady was always so happy when she saw her. It was like Spencer was the highlight of her day, which was something she did say a lot, too.
"Good morning, Spencer. It's nice out today, look. The sun's shining!" Ashley nodded towards the window, her eyes never really leaving Spencer's.
"Yes. …Hello, Ashley."
Spencer's smile widened slightly. She loved receiving the warmth of the sunshine on her face. Ashley knew it; it was why she came so early in the mornings. Because that was when the sun was pointing straight into Spencer's room. Nobody else here bothered to do that. Only the nice lady did.
"How did you sleep, Spencer? Quite well, I hope?"
"Not really… the same dream as usual. The one with the flashes and screaming and then the..darkness," Spencer answered, tilting her body up while Ashley fluffed up her pillow, positioning it so that she could sit up straight.
"Where were you? It's been two days." She tilted her head, watching the brunette questioningly as she sat in a chair next to her bed.
Ashley's eyes widened slightly.
"I..Yes, it has been two days. ..I didn't think you would notice," she said softly, looking away.
"Well..I did. I missed you a bit, you know? The people here only open my curtains later on, when the sun is too high already."
Spencer looked out of the window again, watching the trees and birds come to life as the sun rays hit them. She didn't notice the nice lady bite her lip hard. Nor did she notice how wet her eyes had become. Because the moment she looked back, Ashley was smiling softly, calmly.
"I apologise, Spencer. I had a few things to sort out, but it's done now. Nothing to worry about."
"Will you be here tomorrow?"
"I will. After tomorrow too. And after after tomorrow," she gave a teasing smile, reaching out to touch the hand resting on the white hospital sheets. "Let's not speak about that, though. I'm not gone yet."
Spencer nodded. She looked down curiously at the hand resting on hers. The nice lady did that sometimes. Touch her, stroke her skin. Spencer didn't mind, not really. She figured the nice lady just did that to everyone.
Ashley noticed Spencer's gaze and pulled her hand away.
"I'm sorry. I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"No. The other hand hurts, though. It hurt last night too, and the.. the.. the man with the…" Spencer furrowed her brow, searching in her mind for the name of this man. "He's..oh, I don't know his name. He's tall, and he's got big hands. They're not soft, a bit rough. But he gave me these things to chew on and it was okay again. Now it hurts a bit."
Ashley's face saddened a little. She stood up, circling the bed to reach the other side.
"You mean Dr. Cole."
"Who's Dr. Cole?"
The nice lady stayed silent, looking closer at Spencer's left hand. She slowly pulled the sleeve of Spencer's robe up to her elbow, revealing the skin underneath bit by bit. She sighed softly.
"Spencer? I need you to be brave now, okay? I want you to look at me, and listen closely to what I say."
"Will it hurt?"
"Only if you don't trust me."
Spencer paused, thinking for a moment. She looked back at Ashley with a smile.
"I think I do."
Ashley's eyes clouded slightly, but she slowly moved her fingers closer to Spencer's forearm.
"I need to ask you something, Spencer. Some of my friends would like to come to meet you, would that be okay? Their names are Kyla and Chelsea."
"I suppose. Why do they want to meet me?"
Focusing on those brown eyes, Spencer didn't notice as Ashley's hands slowly caught hold of her wrist, thumbs starting a circular motion, massaging the skin.
"They would like to meet the person I talk about all the time! They're going to start thinking I'm loony if they don't get some sort of proof you're ali.. real."
"Wait…What are they called?"
A glint of hope flashed through Ashley's eyes.
"Kyla and Chelsea."
"Oh. …Those are nice names."
"…They are."
Her thumbs moved up Spencer's forearms, following the light blue mark of the vein.
"I'll bring them over tomorrow morning, how about that?"
"Can you tell me a story?"
"What kind of story would you like, Spencer?"
"The one with those two people. The ones who love each other like no one thought would ever be possible. I like them, they make me happy. I like true love stories."
Ashley's hands stopped for a split second. What if she broke down this time as well?
"..Are you sure, Spence?"
"Mhm."
Spencer also liked it when Ashley called her 'Spence'. It tickled her heart a bit.
The brunette breathed in, starting slowly.
"It was..one night, when April was coming back from her part-time job at the university. She was normally greeted by Sam the second she stepped into the house: pushed against the door and kissed senseless, but this time no one was there. Shrugging her coat off and hooking it up, April stepped further into the house. No one in the kitchen, nor the living room. The office and movie room were also empty.
That left only their bedroom. Pushing the door softly, April entered the room to see a small fuzzy ball of fur on their bed. Her eyes widening, she crept closer and kneeled next to the bed. Sure enough, the fuzzy ball was a young kitten, sleeping peacefully bang in the middle of their sheets.
She felt more than she saw Sam approaching. Her girlfriend placed her hand on her shoulder, stroking it slowly.
"Do you like him?"
The only answer she got was a tug on her shirt, pulling her down into a needy, loving, thankful kiss.
"I love him. I love you, Sam. I love you.""
Ashley finished her story looking straight into Spencer's eyes, almost desperately.
"..I love you.."
Spencer just smiled happily, sitting up a little straighter in her bed.
"I didn't know April and Samantha had a kitten! Is he cute? What colour is he?"
"I..oh, yes, very cute. He's grown up a little now, though. He's… still got a baby, fuzzy grey coat."
The blonde closed her eyes.
"I think I like cats."
"I think you do too, Spencer."
"Would they let me have one here?"
Spencer looked around her room, as if eyeing up where she'd put everything. Ashley bit her lip softly.
"..I don't think so, Spence. They're not very lenient about that."
"Even if you ask them? You're allowed to come every day, even though visitors days are only three times a week."
"Even if I ask them. The rules are the rules, Spence. You should know this."
"..I suppose I do."
Silence filled the room. Spencer was looking out the window; the sun had gone up higher now, and the rays weren't shining right through the glass anymore. It was even starting to get a little too bright.
Sitting in her chair, Ashley had her eyes fixed on Spencer, studying her skin, her features, her slight frown.
Pulling her hands away from Spencer's arm, she called out the girl's name.
"Spencer? Why are you frowning?"
"The..sun. It's starting to hurt my head now," the blonde answered, eyes still fixed on the world outside.
"I'll go close the curtains. I'll be just a second."
As Ashley got up from her chair and headed towards the window, Spencer made a soft sound of protest.
"No..let me look a little longer. It's bearable."
Ashley didn't answer, leaning against the wall and observing the girl in the bed.
"..Ashley.. What is it like, out there?"
Pause.
"It's…lonely."
"Even with the animals and the other people? And the kittens?"
"Yes, even with them."
Another pause.
"Ashley? Are Sam and April lonely?"
This time Ashley closed her eyes.
"Sam and April are in love, Spencer. And that's an unbeatable feeling. The unstoppable force. ..The immovable object."
"Oh... Ashley?"
"Yes, Spencer?"
"You can close the curtains now."
As darkness engulfed the room, Spencer closed her eyes. She wanted to think about kittens and kisses. Her head hurt.
Her mind felt lonely.
Spencer had been asleep for a long time already when Ashley crept out of the room, closing the door and falling in Chelsea's arms.
***
The sun was back. It was warming her eyelids. And the stuffiness of the room was slowly getting replaced by fresh morning air.
Spencer didn't bother opening her eyes.
"Hello, Ashley. I'm happy you came today. I dreamt about April and Sam's kitten."
"That's nice, Spencer. It's good to see you having peaceful dreams again."
"Yes. Your friends are coming today."
"…They are. They'll be arriving later on. We're the only ones to be up this early, you know!'
She heard Ashley chuckle and smiled. Really, what would she do if Ashley didn't come by? Just lie here. Talk to the nurses every now and then. But they didn't feel as right as Ashley did.
The seat sighed softly as Ashley settled down next to Spencer.
"How does your hand feel today, Spencer?"
"Better. I had forgotten about it. ..You make marvels with your fingers."
Ashley smiled. Almost a smirk.
"You've said that before."
"Have I?"
Ashley nodded, simply taking hold of Spencer's hand. Her hands were colder than Spencer's. They always had been.
The two girls looked down at their joint hands.
"Spencer.. can I ask you something?"
"Mhm. As long as it's not what I had for breakfast yesterday, because I have no idea."
"You were asleep for breakfast. You know that Sam and April are both girls?"
"Yes. Although Sam does sound a little boyish, when it's shortened."
"Spencer is also a rather androgynous name… Anyway. Does it..bother you in any way, that April and Sam are together?"
"..Why would it bother me, Ashley? You told me that they love each other. I think that's all that counts in a relationship, isn't it?"
"I agree. It's a shame not everyone does."
"What do you mean?" Spencer tilted her head, eyes leaving their joint hands to look at Ashley.
"Well.. some people don't think that individuals like April and Sam being together is normal. They look down on it, see it as disgusting or wrong."
"But April and Sam love each other!"
"They do. And..as long as they focus on that, then the rest of the world doesn't matter."
A knock on the door interrupted them.
"Hey, it's probably Kyla and Chelsea. Is there anything you want us to do before they come in? Wait, I'll…" Ashley leant in, frowning slightly as her hands caught hold of the front of Spencer's gown. "I'll just button this up a little higher." A few seconds later two extra buttons were done, and Ashley smiled.
"There we go, beautiful. We don't want to be showing your chest to the world."
Ashley stayed there a moment longer, looking into Spencer's eyes. Spencer smiled back, breathing in Ashley's perfume. She didn't know why Ashley would mind if her friends saw a little more of her skin, but it was nice of her to have thought of it.
Pulling back, Ashley cleared her voice and spoke in direction of the door. "Come in!"
She stood up to greet the new arrivals. One of them, a brunette with straight hair, was carrying a tray of food. The second one was smiling warmly at Spencer.
"Spencer, these are Kyla, and Chelsea," Ashley said, pointing to each of the girls in turn. "They're friends of mine."
"Good morning, Spencer," the girl named Chelsea said, still smiling.
"We ambushed this person outside and got you some food!" grinned the other one, Kyla, lifting the tray a little.
Spencer smiled back, a little lost.
"Hello. Welcome to my bedroom. ..I'm sure the person you ambushed would be happy to bring in some extra chairs."
"Oh, no, I'll do it!" Ashley said quickly, smiling softly at Spencer. "I'll leave you with Kyla and Chelsea for a moment, alright Spence? I'll make it fast."
Spencer nodded slightly, the lost look on her face deepening.
Ashley patted Kyla's shoulder and walked out of the room, leaving her alone with her two friends.
"I.. I trust your trip here went well? Do you live far?" Spencer asked.
"No, no. We don't," said Chelsea. Spencer liked her better, she was calmer.
"Would you like some breakfast then, Spencer?"
Spencer nodded again, this time a slight frown appearing on her face. Ashley normally had breakfast with her.
The two girls stepped closer, Chelsea reaching next to the bed to pull the attached tray holder closer. Kyla placed the tray onto it, revealing the breakfast of the day.
"So..Spencer. How do you like it here?"
"It's okay. I don't think I know much else, really. I'd like to go out soon, Ashley talks about it. I want to meet April and Sam, too."
"April and Sam?" Kyla tilted her head, looking over to Chelsea.
Chelsea's eyes widened warningly, something Spencer missed as she started to observe the food on her tray.
"Oh. Yes, yes of course. April and Sam," Kyla stuttered.
There was a pause during which Spencer kept her eyes on the tray, the two other girls watching her softly.
"..You look good, Spencer. You look really well," Chelsea said softly.
"..Thank you? So do you. Does anyone want to share my tomatoes with me?" the blonde pushed her plate towards the girls.
Kyla chuckled.
"Spencer, you hate tomatoes."
"..No I don't. It's the only fresh produce you can get here in the mornings."
This time both Chelsea and Kyla looked a little off balance.
"..You like tomatoes?"
"Yes. Is that wrong?"
"No. No, not at all. It's.. it's not wrong, no."
Ashley chose that moment to step back in, two extra chairs in her toll. Giving them to the girls, she sat down in her usual spot next to Spencer.
This time Spencer was the one to reach out for her hand, the faint beep overhead sounding louder and faster than usual.
"Did you miss me?" Ashley said softly.
"I did," she whispered back, tightening her grip on the brunette's hand.
"So, Kyla, Chelsea, what do you think of Spencer?" Ashley asked cheerfully, turning to her friends yet making sure Spencer knew she was close.
"She likes tomatoes."
"And she wants to come ho.. go outside."
Ashley chuckled.
"Yes. I'm hoping we'll be able to do that soon. We both are, aren't we Spence?"
The blonde nodded, fixing a spot on the wall in front of her.
"Do you think Aid and Madi could come next week? They're really looking forward to it. You know Madison is moving into her own place now? Looks like she's finally settling down! And Glen is coming back from his voluntary army work in three weeks, and remember Carmen? She's back in town, she's looking for an artistic person to work with and I keep pushing Chelsea to go in and see but she's still focused on her art course in France and …"
"Kyla, stop talking. Now."
Kyla closed her mouth, looking over to where Ashley's voice had come from to notice Spencer with her eyes shut tightly, tears running down her cheeks, fists clenched tightly.
"..I think you guys should leave, now," Ashley murmured.
Chelsea and Kyla stood up, Kyla muttering apologies. Ashley, watching Spencer worriedly, walked them back towards the door.
"I'm sorry, Ash, I really didn't mean to do that, I.. Ever since the accident…"
"It's okay, Kyla. Just leave now."
"C'mon, let's go. We'll get a coffee or something."
"..I don't know how you do it, Ash. It hurts me so much. I can't imagine what it's like for you."
"..I agree, Ashley. And the whole thing with Sam and April… I don't understand why you didn't tell her the truth about you two…"
"Listen, guys. Just..leave now. Please, I have to take care of this."
"You know we're here for you both. We love you."
"And I'm sorry. I didn't.. I.. I'm sorry."
The sound of the door closing was followed by a pair of arms wrapping tightly around her body.
"Spencer… hey, Spencer, baby.. I'm right here with you, gorgeous. I'm right here. We're alone together, you know me, you know who I am. You're okay, Spencer. You're okay…"
Spencer's arms slowly wrapped around Ashley, clutching onto her, holding on.
"It.. it feels like I should know all this. It's like they expect me to know what you're on about, and I'm trying, I'm trying! I'm fucking trying, Ashley. But nothing's there."
The brunette kept silent, stroking Spencer's back softly, sliding her hands up and slowly starting to massage her scalp, whispering soothingly.
"…Something's wrong with me, Ashley. Something's wrong."
Ashley kept stroking the girl in her arms, waiting for the beep sound to slow down a little.
"Spencer…why do you think I'm here?"
"..I don't know. Or I don't remember. ..You should leave me now. I feel… like some sort of ridiculous failure."
"Are you sure you want me to leave you, Spencer? Is that what you want?"
The girl in her arms nodded, and Ashley pulled away.
"…Alright. I'll be here tomorrow. ..I'm here for you, Spence."
Picking her coat up from the back of her chair, she headed towards the door, biting her lip hard. It had never been this bad before. So close yet so far.
She missed her girlfriend.
Just as her hand reached out for the handle, the distant beep sped up again. A soft gasp came from the direction of the bed behind her, followed by a creak of the springs as Spencer sat up straight.
"The kitten's name is Jack."
Ashley froze.
"What did you just say?"
"The kitten's name is Jack."
Ashley slowly turned to face Spencer, both of them sharing a look of utter disbelief.
"The kitten's name is Jack. You're Ashley Davies, I'm Spencer Carlin. We've been dating for the past six years. We moved in together three years ago. You're a teacher in university, in the music section. You don't like favourites, but you really like it when I cook for you. And right now, Davies, I want you to kiss me."
Ashley's disbelief progressively turned into laughter.
"Oh god. The kitten's name is Jack. Bloody hell."
In seconds Ashley was by Spencer's side, her hands cupping her girlfriend's cheeks, pressing her lips hard against hers.
That kiss was the whole world to them. It was the first in over a month. It was soft, desperate, needy, curious, loving, and then..hard and passionate. It was their lips meeting together, their fingers touching, discovering, their whole beings becoming one once again. At last.
What seemed like hours later, Spencer opened her eyes and smiled.
"We're never leaving each other again, Ashley, I love you. We're together forever. We're the unstoppable force, the immovable object, the unbeatable feeling."
Ashley smiled, nuzzling Spencer's cheek.
"You know what? I think it's time for us to go home. …I owe one to Jack."
Author's Note:
Well guys, there you have it. As my fantastiscious girlfriend said above, I am rather sick right now. So the words you're getting here are simply ripped out of my throat.
I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading this. It's not the type of fun, light stuff I usually write, and I hope it hasn't thrown you off track too much.
It is also the first time in a long time I've managed to write something and finish it in two days, especially a story like this which is something I've wanted to write for a while now. Also the first time I publish something like this on fanfiction, except if you count Little Deaths (which I don't).
There. Feel free to review or PM and say what you thought. To all TPOR and Teapots readers: I will update, I promise! I just don't know when. But I'm not abandoning you guys, no way. We need to get Pete in Aaron's sheets first ;) (and Ashley in Spencer's? Or Dani in Spencer's? hmm…)
Much love to you all, including new readers (if there are any!),
Jonz
The kitten's name is Jack