I dove head first into the YOI fandom. Skated my ass straight into Victuuri Hell. *shrugs* I'm just going to leave this here...
soblaznitel'nyy: (russian) enticing
gomik: (russian) derogatory term for queer, "homo"
"To the Victor, Goes the Katsudon!"
Ice Castle Hasestsu was bustling with excitement as throngs of skating fans from around the country, and even from around the world, poured into the arena. News cameras and reporters lined the rink. Flags waved in the crowd and hand-drawn signs were held high as proud cheers sporadically erupted from the crowd. And all three professional skaters could feel the electricity in the air.
Yuuri Katsuki, the hometown hero, was the most overwhelmed. Here, at the rink he called 'Home', he would fight to keep the man who has been his inspiration for half his life by his side. People were watching, waiting for him with baited breath. His skin tingled, the rush of endorphins denying him stillness of mind and body. Since his revelation the night before, his heart wouldn't stop hammering in his chest. He stretched to relieve some of his tension, as he listened to his performance piece on repeat.
I am Eros...Eros is me, he reminded himself. He closed his eyes and recalled the soft pressure of Victor's finger lifting his chin to meet his ice-blue gaze, the gentle brush of his thumb along his bottom lip sending shivers down his spine as his life-long idol leaned in close. So close, that Yuuri could smell the shampoo he had showered with that morning and the faint hint of mint on his warm breath as it misted his lips. So close that, for a singular moment, Yuuri anticipated the tender pressure of Victor's kiss-a whisper of a wish left unfulfilled.
Was THAT Eros? He exhaled and worked arm circles to keep his shoulder loose, hoping they'd loosen some of the nerves coiling in his gut.
Yuri Plisetsky ran in place, attempting to release some of his frustration, and find the place where thoughts of his grandfather could prevail.
Victor promised ME first!
But right now all he could dwell on was how much Victor seemed enamored with his 'little piglet.' Recently, Victor had been making a habit of getting in 'Katsudon's' personal space. And liking it. The other day, he swore he was about to see two men kiss for the first time in his life. And Russian kitten couldn't handle the idea of Victor picking that guy over him. But Victor was here for the fanboy...and he had to fight to bring him home.
And deep down, he knew that with every passing day it was becoming an increasingly impossible feat.
Victor kept his head down, occasionally observing his protegés with a side glance. Yuri had seemingly undergone a change of attitude, and had found his 'agape.' But there was something still seething in the blond's soul. Why the kid was always so angry was beyond him, but he knew that there was a level of hurt that only Yuri could fix for himself. His heart sank a little as he pondered whether or not his abrupt departure had merely added to the teen's emotional woes.
Then, with one look in the other direction, he remembered exactly why he left as he took in the sight of a quietly nervous and pensive Yuuri. The blush that seemed to constantly stain his cheeks lately was endearing. His innocence, complimented by his innate desire to be something greater warmed Victor's heart. There was a look in Yuuri's eyes that was adoring, with the allure of the unconditional. And it stirred something within him. It was something beyond mutual passion for skating, a kind of yearning that he wanted so badly for Yuuri to recognize in himself: this gravity he had already recognized that was pulling them together. He had put himself out there to give Yuuri a hint of his feelings. If they had been alone in the rink the other day, he was sure he would have closed the gap-mere centimeters-between them. But the time wasn't right.
God, how I want to see-to know-your Eros, Yuuri...
He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, reminding himself to put his biases aside, and pray that Yuuri would truly bring his game to the next level. Because if not, he would be putting his heart's desire aside to return, as promised, to Russia with the feisty little kitten.
Yuko came in to retrieve the youngest skater, clad in sparking silver and white, to begin the competition. They all made their way into the arena.
Everyone, Victor and Yuuri included, stood riveted as the 'Russian Punk' delivered a technically beautiful program. The haunting music echoed like angelic strains through the room. The young blond started out, glowing with an aura of agape, a change of expression he seemingly found after their day at the waterfall. But halfway through, it suddenly dissipated, making way for his usual look of pain and frustration. His lack of emotional breadth kept him from holding onto his 'agape.'
Still...Yuuri's nerves began to take hold as Yuri finished his routine. His competitor's quadruple jump had been flawless. Doubt began to creep in, and fear took hold as Victor proclaimed young Yuri's performance to be his "best so far."
That's right...if I lose, Victor will go back to Russia! I don't want that. I have to win! I want to win!
As Yuuri attempted to hold back the sudden wave of panic, a voice broke him from his thoughts.
"Yuuri, it's your turn."
Yuuri looked up, finding himself locked into Victor soft gaze. His breath caught in his throat.
He tried to cover up his embarrassment and the furious blush on his cheeks, practically choking on himself as the realization hit him hard.
Victor...I need you in my life. I want you to stay with me!
And the words came out in the only metaphor he could manage.
"I...uh...I am going to become a super tasty kastudon. So please...watch only me!"
His arms moved of their own accord, wrapping themselves around the one man he realized he couldn't live without, and holding him tightly.
"Promise!" Yuuri choked out.
Victor's heart skipped a beat as his kobuta-chan suddenly encompassed him in a hug. Surprise melted quickly into a wholly consuming tenderness.
"Of course...I love kastudon."
Yuuri released him and stepped out onto the ice. He could feel the heat of Victor's intense and attentive stare. The air between them had taken on a whole different nuance in a matter of mere seconds. Yuuri had found his Eros...and he was watching Yuuri's every move. It filled him with courage and something that made his body buzz unlike any endorphin rush he'd ever experienced.
He was determined now. He would indeed seduce his Russian 'Playboy.'
As the music began, he pictured Victor's arm wrapping around him in a heated embrace, and in a moment of bravery took that practiced, playful glance and shot it in his Eros's direction.
Victor felt a little shiver go down his spine. And the older Russian couldn't help the whistle that escaped him, as he instinctually reacted to Yuuri's flirtation. All week, Yuuri practiced giving the "audience" that look. But he chose to send it his way. And Victor got the message loud and clear.
Yuuri would give Victor all the "Eros" he's got.
And he did.
Despite one jump and a few smaller details, Yuuri's overall technique had much improved. But mattered was how surprised Victor and the rest of the audience were by the enticing, heartfelt performance.
His movements were so incredibly fluid as he danced over the ice. Victor was completely enraptured. Yuuri wassexy, and so incredibly delectable.
So this is your Eros, eh? Will you show me more, kobuta-chan?
The younger Russian stood at the boards, watching was riveted by the gleam in the young Japanese skater's eyes. He, too, noticed the look he threw at Victor. And in that moment he knew he had stolen any chance of Victor returning to Russia from him. Yuuri had won Victor over.
Hook, line and sinker.
Yuri turned and headed back to the locker room, defeated.
As Yuuri took his final pose, Victor could practically feel those arms around him. He wanted to draw out more of that passion from that pure and usually reserved and cautious young man.
This is only the beginning, he assured himself. He let that warm feeling he'd been supressing all this time-to keep himself from getting his hopes up-overtake him.
Yuuri had finally opened himself up to his Eros.
The young man turned and skated toward the boards, where a radiant Victor greeted him with a smothering hug, knocking the wind out of him.
"Yuuri, that was the tastiest katsudon I've ever seen! Wonderful!"
Yuuri was taken aback, yet amazingly satisfied by Victor's reaction.
Until his coach's tone quickly darkened, and he instantly went into critiquing each of Yuuri's faux pas.
The frazzled brunet dizzied and nearly fainted.
Victor reached out a hand and led his 'little piglet' off the ice, while the crew set up the red carpet and winner's podium. The media rushed to them, cameras flashing in a blinding frenzy. Victor slung his arm over Yuuri's shoulder. As if taking an unspoken cue, Yuuri slid his arm around his back, his hand coming to rest on Victor's waist. The happiness was contagious and overwhelming, bringing the twenty-three-year-old to a place he'd never experienced before. Utter Satisfaction. Victor was here to stay. With him.
They went out to the podium for the ceremony and interview. Yuuri was speechless. Nerves began getting the best of him, as endorphins rattled his brain. He barely had the capacity to fully comprehend what had happened, never mind the question being asked of him.
How do I find words to express this?
Then a warm hand gripped his arm reassuringly. His cheeks flushed warm against the cold air in the Ice Castle.
That's right, Victor is at my side. He believes in me. I can do this. I WILL win the Grand Prix Final this year.
After much fanfare, an hour of signing autographs and taking pictures for-and with-fans, Yuuri and Victor were able to change and head home. They both settled in and readied for making good on Victor's promise.
They sat at the table in the family room, as the TV news repeated the biggest news story of the day.
Them.
Hiroko's voiced called from the kitchen, announcing their incoming celebration dinner. She appeared in the doorway carrying two large piping-hot bowls of katsudon. Their eyes widened as the scent of fried pork and rice invaded their senses. Yuuri hadn't eaten his favorite dish since that fateful day when Victor arrived weeks ago.
But now, here they were. Eating katsudon. Together. Victor and Yuuri sat adjacent to each other, smiled knowingly at each other, pleased with the outcome of today's events.
Mari followed with a bottle of sake and a stack of cups. After the bowls were set down, Mari set the cups on the table and poured sake for both of them.
"Yuuri," she began in an uncommonly tender tone, "you have worked so hard. Keep it up, little brother." She turned to Victor. "And thank you, Victor, for alway being such an inspiration to Yuuri. I know today has a lot to do with you."
Yuuri turned as red as a tomato, embarrassed that his sister would call out his fanboy status in front of Victor.
Victor smiled graciously and nodded his thanks as he poured sake for Mari.
The older Katsuki sibling smiled as she raised for a toast. "Kanpai!"
Mari left after refilling her cup, leaving them alone with their katsudon.
Victor reached out and rested his hand on Yuuri's arm, his touch gentle and nonintrusive. Yuuri met his gaze while still burning red from the swirl of emotion raging in his heart. But Victor's eyes were gentle, he smiled warmly.
"Keep doing what your doing, kobuta-chan," he said with a little chuckle that made him sound like a child with a secret. "And this will be merely the first of many katsudon meals together."
Yuuri nearly choked on a sip of sake. "R-really?"
Victor nodded, picking up his chopsticks, choosing not to elaborate.
Yuuri didn't know exactly how to take that statement. But he vowed to continue to work hard and strive to be Victor's equal...in every way.
They dug in happily, too busy stuffing pork cutlet into their faces for any further conversation.
Ten minutes later, two empty bowls lay on the table, and two exhausted skaters lay flat on their backs on the floor, slipping into a food coma. Makkachin made his way into the room and had settled next to Victor. A few lazy minutes ticked away before Victor lifted his head to look over at Yuuri.
"Hey, what do say to a soak in the onsen?" he said, his tone nonchalant but inviting.
Yuuri took stock of his aching muscles and hummed in agreement.
"But that means having to get up," he said with a feigned groan before forcing himself to his feet. He took his glasses off to clean them with his t-shirt and turned down the hall. "I'll meet you at the bath."
Victor just watched his back as he walked away, and noticed that for the first time, Yuuri wasn't hunching when no one was looking. He couldn't keep the smile from forming on his lips.
For the first time since Victor arrived, he was waiting for Yuuri in the bath. It was usual protocol for Victor to saunter in completely nude, well after Yuuri beat him there.
Yuuri found himself feeling incredibly self conscious. There was no thought as to the aftermath of projecting all of his sexual desire in Victor's direction during his skate. There was a new energy connecting them. Taut and tense like a high wire. And now, here they would sit, unclothed and bathing together. Before all of his feelings for Victor began making sense in the last day or so, he never regarded his nude form with any particular connotation. But now that he had pictured himself kissing Victor, seducing him...Now that he knew what his touch felt like, what his embrace was like...he couldn't contain this feeling that the air between them was charged like a battery.
Victor's eyes followed him as he approached. Yuuri refused to take the towel off under the heat of his stare before dipping into the bath.
Yuuri had one toe in the water when-
"Why so shy, kobuta-chan? After that confident display of Eros, this afternoon? It is just the two of us..."
Pulling his foot back, he stood and stared back at the beautiful Russian from the edge of the hot spring. He swallowed hard. How did he expect to entice Victor if he kept on retreating into a shell of diminished self-confidence?
And he knew that the first step to true confidence is being honest with oneself, as well as others.
"Because, finding my Eros has...changed me...changed how I view...things..." Yuuri fiddled with the spot where his towel was secured as he searched for the right words. "It's feels like things are..."
"Different?" Victor completed his thought for him, as if reading his mind. "Between us?"
Yuuri nodded, but didn't break eye contact like he normally would.
"Well, today I had a sneaking suspicion that you hadn't actually found your Eros in katsudon. At least, I was hoping not," Victor replied, chuckling. His silvery bangs danced upon his brow. "Come now, Yuuri. You were wearing my skin-tight costume all afternoon, and I was able to get an eye-full the contours of your delicious 'katsudon' during your performance. Embrace your beautiful self all day, every day..."
Did he just call me 'delicious' and 'beautiful' in the same breath?
He took a deep breath and did something he'd never done in his life: let himself be naked and exposed in front of someone he likes. The towel fell softly to the stones, as Yuuri watched Victor's reaction. He saw Victor's eyes take in his whole figure and then snap back to his face with the raise of an eyebrow. Slowly Yuuri sank into the water that came up to his hips.
Victor marveled at how much nearly a month's worth of hard training has defined a body that was going soft. The definition at the crease of his legs had begun to create that magical "V" that lead to the most intimate region of Yuuri's body. It had yet to rival his own...but it would if he kept it up. Just the thought of it jolted his system.
The look of absolute wonder on Victor's face made Yuuri's mouth go slightly dry. He was used to being the one doing the ogling and the wondering. It felt...nice...being appreciated.
After seating himself next to Victor, he leaned his head back to rest and sighed, allowing much of his tension to leave him, soaking in the warmth.
"Truly, Victor...thank you for today. These few weeks have already been a life-changing experience," he said, glancing over at the charming Russian with a small smile.
"It's only just begun," Victor replied sliding closer, until their arms brushed. He leaned back and joined Yuuri in reclining.
In a quiet moment, the exhausted Eros felt a gentle hand take his under the water and give it a squeeze. His eyes flew open and eyed Victor, who reciprocated the look and gave him a shy smile. It was a first for Yuuri, seeing this look on his face: an expression which the fanboy-turned-protegé never knew existed. Those cool blue eyes were tender and honest. They were completely void of the Russian's usual bravado and pretense.
This was not a routine. This was private.
This was his Victor.
The nerve endings in his hand smouldered, a flame lighting and slowly taking hold of him. This tingling in his skin crept up his arm until it reached the base of his neck where, as if the flame found fuel, fire raced down to his to the base of his spine and up the back of his head, sizzling in his scalp. Yuuri's body shivered slightly as his nerves overloaded and a sigh escaped his lips.
And he reciprocated the gentle pressure.
Both of them remained reclined, staring up at the clear spring night sky, side by side, and hand in hand.
"You okay?" Victor inquired, sounding more at ease.
"Yeah..." the younger man replied, trailing off as he tried to pinpoint words. "Just a little overwhelmed. I was always so focused on my career that there wasn't time for personal feelings...so I never really thought much about them."
"What if I told you that you can be focused on your goals, and still make room for your feelings?" Victor's face was peaceful and sublime as he continued. "Those feelings become one's inspiration."
Yuuri closed his eyes as he hummed in agreement. "I understand that now."
Victor watched his companion slip into what seemed like a meditative state. Yuuri's features relaxed, all the worry and tension gone. Picking his head up, he turned toward the brunet, admiring his youthful features as he leaned closer.
He's so perfectly genuine. His innocence is captivating...I never meant to feel quite...like...
Victor paused, wanting so badly to know what those lips tasted like, but struggling with himself as not to rush anything.
Brown eyes opened wide at the sudden pressure of a head and the tickle of damp hair on his shoulder.
"Uhh, Vi-victor?" he stumbled in bemusement, trying not to freak out like he normally would. After today, there should be no real surprise in affectionate gestures, he tried to remind himself. It only took a moment's consideration before he mimicked his beautiful senpai, and black hair met silver.
A satisfied hum emanated from Victor's throat. and they stayed like that for a few quiet minutes, watching the steam rise in mesmerizing swirls and dissipate in the night air.
Victor knew how fresh and fragile both of their newfound feelings were. He was no stranger to whims of passion, but he knew that his 'kobuta-chan' was completely green to the ways of physical intimacy.
I would be surprised if he'd ever kissed anyone before, the way he spoke of his lack of previous romance. He chuckled softly to himself. But maybe if I just-
"What is it, Victor?" Yuuri asked, serenely. He was met with silence.
-ask him?
"Yuuri," he began gently, cautious as if handling the finest china. "May I...kiss you?"
More silence ensued as Yuuri fought back the insecurities that threatened to plague the very moment he'd been waiting for.
If I am going to be on equal footing with him, I must continue to embrace this new feeling...my Eros. There's no turning back, now. Of all the people who would take my first real kiss...
Yuuri sat up without a word, and Victor followed. Turning in toward the face he looked at for years every night before falling asleep, he propped himself against the ledge of the bath and rested his forearm where his head had been.
"Nn," he agreed shyly, as he dared to fix his gaze on those impossibly blue eyes.
Victor's breath caught, not quite expecting him to consent.
Yuuri saw the glimmer of surprise ripple through those azure waters.
Victor reached out and caressed his damp thumb over Yuuri's flushed cheekbone.
"Yuuri...your Eros..." He leaned in just as close as he had the other day. Desire tearing at his seams. "It's exquisite...soblaznitel'nyy..."
Yuuri could once again feel the heat of Victor's touch, and his body nearly betrayed him has held back the shiver that ran up his spine. His whole body ached and trembled in that moment as Victor closed the distance between them, their eyes slowly sliding shut.
Victor kissed him tentatively, tenderly. There was a sublime exhilaration in how their lips so easily melded. Yuuri trusted Victor, following his lead.
Victor unsurprisingly found himself more attentive to Yuuri's bottom lip with a gentle suckle. He had fantasized about it since the other day, as he felt it's pliable plumpness under his thumb.
A soft groan rumbled in Yuuri's throat.
Inhaling and exhaling through his nose, he began to feel the roiling power of lust. Victor's taste, mingling with sake, was a heady mixture that urged him to press closer. Yuuri took a cue from Victor and sucked softly on his upper lip. Words moaned that Yuuri didn't understand before the tip of Victor's tongue flicked flirtatiously at his slightly parted lips.
Yuuri gasped at the pleasure coursing through his veins. He gave Victor the entrance to begin a fluid and graceful dance. Like a pair's skate, he intuited pressure and movement in sync with the Russians advances. Gentle sweeps and brushes, tongues and lips teasing, seeking, tasting.
To Victor, his Yuuri's responses were beautifully sensitive. This man, as he had guessed upon first seeing that video a month ago, was Agape and Eros all in one. He knew that Yuuri was a wholly unconditional lover...but his desire burned. It boiled and bubbled like a pot ready to overflow. And Victor wanted to feel that scalding passion for himself.
A sensational simmering burned in the brunet's body: Eros, manifesting in full form as blood rushed to his head. His hands explored, as if with a mind of their own. Wet fingers slid easily along slick skin, finding the grooves in defined muscles.
Groans of heated passion were swallowed by deepening kisses.
Victor's hands found purchase at the base of Yuuri's neck and the small of his back, pulling them closer together. He was so incredibly aroused.
And then, to his surprise, there was a hand on his thigh. It ratcheted his arousal a couple more notches.
But how far is Yuuri really ready to go? Victor thought as he regained control.
Slowly, Victor pulled away, leaving them both panting. Yuuri's eyes seem to bore into him, fueled by his newly unleashed Eros.
"This feeling, Victor...I...I want to kiss you more..." he said, trying to put his desire into words. "Just...more...of everything...of you."
"You keep talking like that and I'll lose all of my sensibilities," he replied with a smile. "But we can't keep going like this here, you know. God forbid your mother or father walked in on us."
Yuuri's heart stopped, picturing his father walking into the bath and finding him and Victor making out...or worse.
Victor watched as his little piglet's face reddened at the thought. He laughed.
"Let's settle in somewhere with a little more privacy, shall we?"
Yuuri gave him a crooked little smile before surprised his lover with another kiss, echoing what he'd done before, drawing upon Victor's bottom lip before pulling away.
"I'll take that as a 'yes'?"
They both went to change in their respective rooms, taking a moment to breathe, and reflect on what was blossoming between them, and the line that had now been crossed.
Attempting to calm his racing heart and growing arousal, Yuuri buried his face in his towel and inhaled slowly and deeply.
All these years I've spent practically worshipping this man, and I now...it's him who is the first person I fall in love with. I never thought I think of another guy like that. But it's VICTOR.
He pulled on a pair of cotton sleep pants and a T-shirt, further toweling his hair.
But still, I don't know anything about Victor that most people don't already know. Tonight is the first time he's let his guard down at all in front of me. I want to know the REAL Victor. His likes and dislikes, his life story...and even the little things like if he snores or talks in his sleep, or if he's ticklish...or the deeper things, like what makes him truly happy, sad, angry...what moves him?
Yuuri was more determined to truly know the man he'd fallen for, inside and out.
Victor threw his towel to his bed, nearly missing a sleeping Makkachin, to throw on a pair of shorts and a zip-up hoodie. While sorting his belongings he considered the evolution of his feelings since that day he saw Yuuri's video.
A month ago, I saw the opportunity to do something different with my career, and work with a skater with potential to be great. Now, here I am, in over my head with this adorable guy. I thought I would simply be the one to inspire him...who knew he would inspire ME just as much? I knew to follow my heart and come here. But THIS...this is completely unexpected. Never would I have guessed I could fall in love with Katsuki Yuuri. He really did have an alluring side of him that no one knew about.
He reached out and gave Makkachin's head a pat as the pup looked up sleepily at his master. He thought of how much he had learned about who Yuuri was, on and off the ice. Fair skin blushed at how much he wanted to invade the younger man's personal space, dig into his personal life and know everything he possibly could...like unearthing a treasure.
And he IS a treasure. I know that now...more than I did coming into this endeavor. And I don't know what I'm going to do after this year. But I guess we'll see how this season plays out and go from there, eh?
There was a soft knock at Yuuri's bedroom door.
"It's me," came Victor's voice in its gentle baritone.
"Come in." Excitement set every synapse alight in the younger man's brain.
The door slid open to reveal Victor clutching a pillow and Makkachin trailing behind him.
Yuuri gaped at the assuming Russian.
"What's that for?" he asked nonchalantly, gesturing toward the pillow.
"Well, Makkachin wanted to tag along...and I brought this just in case," he replied with a grin.
"Just in case what?" Yuuri pried further.
"Just in case we decide to talk into the early morning hours," Victor drawled, invading Yuuri's personal space. He leaned in to whisper against the other's ear. "And just in case we decide who is Big Spoon and who is Little Spoon."
Victor's breath, hot against his neck and ear, sent shivers through Yuuri's body.
Victor threw his pillow over onto the bed next to the one already at the head of the bed before taking Yuuri into his arms and holding him close. The astonished brunet responded in kind, wrapping his arms around his lover, drawing him in and pressing their bodies flush against each other. They relaxed, entwined and enveloped in each other, chins rested upon the others' shoulders.
Yuuri was finally experiencing what love was really about. So far he had learned a few of the elements of love: happiness, trust, movtivation, dedication, lust...and now, comfort was seeping into his soul. Victor's embrace was warm and strong, yet not suffocating. He could feel Victor's heartbeat.
It's as fast and excited as mine, he realized.
"Victor," Yuuri said breaking the silence in a hushed tone. "I want to know more about you...the real you. I want to know everything."
Victor loosened his embrace slightly so that he could look his little "Eros" in the eyes. Those deep dark brown eyes were intense and serious. Victor's lips curled into a small smile. Yuuri was taken aback by the soft gleam of sentimentality he found there.
"I want to know the real Victor. Not just the world-famous skater, adored by all his fans...you said it yourself a few weeks ago: that we should build trust in our relationship."
Victor chuckled lightly. "You are absolutely right, kobuta-chan. Why don't we just relax...and talk."
Makkachin jumped up onto Yuuri's bed and made himself comfortable while Victor sat on the floor against his bed.
"Do you have a comb?" he asked. "I forgot to brush my hair before leaving my room."
Yuuri fished his comb out of his desk drawer, making sure it was clean before handing it to Victor. Victor combed his hair as Yuuri watched, expecting Victor to promptly hand it back. Much to his surprise, when he was done, Victor opened his legs in a straddle stretch and patted the floor in front of him. Yuuri just gave him a questioning look.
"Yuuri, your hair's all over the place, let me fix that for you," he answered, his tone warm and inviting.
He blushed hard, but complied, seating himself between Victor's thighs with his back to him. As he began combing Yuuri's hair, Victor decided to share.
"I loved when my mother would brush my hair when I was little," he divulged. His voice was deep and somber with nostalgia. "When my father died, she got really depressed and didn't really bother anymore. A few years later, when I was a teenager, she remarried. My stepfather hated the fact that I was a figure skater. It wasn't 'manly'. My mother was always supportive, but she took as much verbal abuse as I did for doing so. Why she married him, I'll never know."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Yuuri consoled.
"Yeah, well, in 'Mother Russia' if you're not manly, then you must be a 'gomik'...little did he know," he replied, sadness infiltrating his sarcasm. "I relish the thought that I have become one of Russia's heroes, much to his chagrin." He sniffed in amusement before going quiet for a moment. "I talk to my mom still, here and there, and she's come to the big national competitions over the years...but I haven't been home since I graduated high school nine years ago."
"Wow...that must have been tough...I can't even imagine," Yuuri said, the sympathetic ache in his voice reached Victor's ears. The combing stopped and arms snaked around his midriff.
Victor hugged him and kissed the back of his head, inhaling the soft scent of Yuuri's hair.
"I figured it would help you understand why I love being here so much. Your family is very loving and inviting. You all love each other and are supportive of each other, no matter what. I enjoy being a part of that. I love the fact that they always call me 'Vic-chan'. It's like I'm part of the family."
"You are part of the family," Yuuri reinforced, holding onto Victor's hands, clasped at his abdomen.
"Thank you, Yuuri," he said with a sigh, leaning his forehead against the spot he had kissed. "The only other person outside of my family that knows about my troubles with my stepfather is Yakov."
Yuuri sucked in a breath, understanding the gravity of what he just shared.
"You wanted to know the real Victor Nikiforov, well there you go: 'Daddy issues', familial abandonment'...although technically I sort of abandoned them. And 'Don't you dare be queer!' My mom had my half-sister when I was fifteen. Last time I saw her, she was three years old."
"Do you miss your mom and sister?" Yuuri asked timidly.
"Sure, I do. But my hatred for my stepfather will never allow me to step foot in that house again," his voice turning dark. "That man represents so much of what I can't stand in this world."
"I understand. He sounds like a horrible person," Yuuri replied, rubbing his lover's arm gently, trying to soothe him. He was suddenly struck with an idea."Here, let go a second, Victor."
Jokingly, Victor trapped Yuuri with his legs. "No!" he responded with feigned petulance, before kissing the crook of Yuuri's neck.
Yuuri laughed aloud.
"Oh? Yuuri Katsuki is ticklish on his neck?" Victor pointed out mischievously. "Noting that for later."
He released Yuuri from his clutches and watched as he climbed onto the bed behind him. Brown eyes smiled at him as Yuuri sat at the edge, his knees on either side of Victor's shoulders. Yuuri held his hand out to him.
"Can I have that for a sec?" he asked pointing to the comb still in Victor's hand. "It's your turn."
There was a flash of surprise in those blue eyes, before a satified smile settled onto his features. He handed off the comb and leaned his head back toward Yuuri.
Yuuri got to work combing his silky silver locks. Slowly, gently, like a lover's caress. They were quiet for a while, and Victor felt his shoulders finally loosen. His head lolled and moved easily with every stroke of the comb through his hair. He let out a small sigh, letting go of the tension from the long day.
"This..." he started, having trouble formulating words, "This is wonderful. Thank you, Yuuri."
"Anytime," came Yuuri's reply. "You know, to divulge something personal, here's something that's embarrassing for me to tell you, but I feel I should..." There was a pause as Yuuri put the comb down and decide to use his fingers to massage and rake Victor's scalp. There was a soft grunt of approval from Victor, urging him to continue on all fronts.
"I had one crush growing up and that was-"
"Yuko-chan?"
"How'd you guess?"
"You don't have a wide circle of friends, and you two have known each other since you were children, yes? Obvious choice," the Russian teased, humor lacing his words. "Besides, she's adorable. I totally get that."
"Okay, then..." Yuuri continued, astounded that his admission wasn't a surprise. "Well, do you know why my parents call you 'Vic-chan'?"
"No, I just assumed it was a cute nickname."
"Well you're right that it's a nickname. Well...there's a room in the house you haven't seen yet. You would know already, if you had seen it..." He squirmed a little, anxious has to Victor's eventual respone. "I had a dog. He died the day before the Grand Prix Finale last year. He was a poodle, just like Makkachin."
"You like poodles, too, eh? Sorry to hear he died...is that why you were so off at the GPF?"
"Yes...and Yes. I couldn't move past it. That dog meant a lot to me," Yuuri confirmed. "But my poodle...his name was...Victor."
"Really?" He sounded genuinely surprised.
"Y-yeah..." he admitted shyly, feeling the blush creep up his neck and consuming his face. "Eleven year old me thought the world of you, and wanted to be like you...So much so, that I got a poodle just like yours and named it Victor, Vic-chan for short."
"That...is oddly adorable...So that was during the year I won my last Junior Championships, with the outfit you wore tonight."
"Yeah...I hate to tell you this, but I was a huge fanboy growing up. And competing in the same bracket with you was a life-long dream. And then I did...and wow, did I fall short. It was devastating. And embarassing. You asked me if I wanted to take a picture with you that night after the Finale, and I just...couldn't."
"I really didn't comprehend that you paid so much attention to my skating-your attempt at my routine aside. Well, I'm flattered...and I guess it's perfect that everything happened the way it did, eh?"
"Yeah. And to be completely honest, I hadn't been here since I was eighteen and went off to university in the United States...So when I came home, my room was exactly how I left it."
"Which is, if you don't mind my saying, rather boring...you have virtually nothing on your walls. I couldn't live like that," Victor pointed out, thinking he was giving constructive criticism.
"That's not it, though. When you knock on my door the first night here, I realized I could let you see the umteen posters of you I had on my walls."
Victor just started laughing. Not a mean or condescending laugh, but one that was truly mirthful and light. "Oh, Yuuri...I had no idea. You have never acted like a 'fanboy'. You are so reserved. So how could I have ever truly known how much you thought of me?"
"Well, to be honest, ever since you started coaching me, my view of you has changed. I'm really enjoying knowing the person, and not just the celebrity," Yuuri admitted.
"Well, I am human after all," he replied with a snort of indignation. "But I guess I've built my career on the act I can put on for the audience and the judges. So that's fair."
"I know you're human, Victor. And a beautiful one, inside and out," Yuuri wrapped his arms around Victor's neck, leaning on top of his shoulders, pressing his cheek to Victor's.
"I'm far from perfect," he shot back.
"Oh, I know. But isn't the acceptance of imperfection a part of caring about someone?"
Victor was stunned. It hit him, that for the first time, he has met someone that he didn't have to put a show on for all the time. That there was no need for pretense with Yuuri. He truly was Agape and Eros at the same time.
He turned in Yuuri's embrace and kissed him. This time, Victor didn't hold back. He was ready to drown in the tide of this emotional journey.
For nearly an hour, the two of them melted into each other's embrace, entangling legs and arms as lips and tongues explored to the point of exhaustion, taking precious time and not rushing this beautiful unfurling feeling between them.
And for the first time in years, Yuuri didn't fall asleep alone, as Victor curled up against him and Makkachin burrowed into his arms.
Tomorrow would dawn the beginning of a new chapter. And they'd face it head on...together.
Hope you enjoyed my take on Victor. I have a unique "chaotic neutral" perspective on him. And I feel that Yuuri could change his perspective a little. ^_~