A/N: Okay, I suggest you read, You rang, my lord? before you read this one. It will just make more sense. But if you don't feel like it? *shrug* I'm not gonna make ya. Enjoy!
Oh, and because my life completely fucking sucks at this point? I'm not going to give daily updates. Sorry, you'll just have to story alert or check back. Thanks for understanding:D But no worries, this is a completed fic, as is every single thing we post on here.
Demyx- After Roxas tells him he likes men and after Axel tells him he likes Roxas.
I saluted Axel as he walked away and bit my lip trying not to spill the very thing he so desperately needed to hear. My lord, Roxas O'Malley, was a lover of men. And my dear friend Axel was a lover of Roxas, I could just see it. However, my lord has asked me not to tell him and so I could not, in good conscience, talk to him about it. Not to mention that their difference in station was a rather glaring problem as well. Despite that, I believe that they could find a way to be together if they tried. Getting up from table, I decided that a walk among the shops would do me good. Perhaps I would see that one young man with the vivid hair walking around again. He was intriguing enough to get my mind off of my duties and the romantic life of my friends and I welcomed that distraction.
Life at the O'Malley estate had improved over the last few weeks and I'd been happy to learn about the true disposition of my employer. Roxas. It was still very hard to call him that in person, had been in my care for a few years and in my father's care before he passed away. I'd always felt a connection to him, or rather, I felt there could have been a connection if he would only stop treating me like dirt. I'd watched him for years retreat to his library and spend hours in there, pouring over books and studying. When I was young and my father had told me that Lord O'Malley, Roxas' father, wished for me to be sent to school so that I might one day be of service to his son, I'd been unaware of just how much I would come to love and enjoy the written word. Granted, I was not as fortunate to spend hours reading like my lord, but I enjoyed the stories and the worlds that one could find in a book.
Perhaps it was not only the books that I loved to read, but it was the idea that I could do something that was not necessarily part of a servants natural duties. I'd wanted to ask my lord about certain things that I had read, but that would not be correct. I wish that I could have taught Axel to read, just so that I could enjoy the companionship of someone to talk to about the things I'd read, but his father was not one to enlighten servants.
I did not have many friends, but Axel was my closest. And with the tension between his sister, Lady Ashdown and their father, I was a little worried for him and his position. Perhaps, if he was let go, Lord O'Malley would see fit to hire him. It was an idea. Sighing, I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind and just enjoyed the early evening atmosphere of the city. Purchasing a quick sweet roll from a street vender, I brought it to my lips when something caught my eye.
A flash of blue and I turned to see the mysterious man that I'd seen in passing every few days. He was dressed in his usual way, simple dark grey pants and white shirt with a matching dark grey vest over that. Shirt untucked and no hat gave him a slightly messy appearance that I rather enjoyed. Not something I saw often as even the servants of the Lords and Ladies were dressed in pristine uniforms.
My mind did not think beyond that, but I found my body turning towards him and my feet falling in step a few feet behind him. Taking quick bites of my sweet roll to finish it off, I watched as the young man weaved in and out of the crowds on the streets. He must live or perhaps work close by or I would not see him as often as I do.
He was holding a brown paper covered package in his hands, clutching it against his stomach, shying away and aside when someone accidentally bumped into him. I couldn't hear his voice, but I assumed he excused himself and then he continued walking through the street. He turned left all of a sudden, into a narrow brick shaped little ally and following him, I saw him enter a store, the entrance door on the side, two warm glowing lanterns framing it. Beside the door was a large round window, the wood work around it a deep red. On the glass was written with curly golden calligraphy, 'Joy's Bookshop'.
A bookshop. My heart sped up at the idea that perhaps my mysterious young man was a reader of books or perhaps he was running an errand. Waiting a few moments and still not thinking about the reasons why I was finding myself following him, I opened the door and stepped inside. A pleasant warmth enveloped me as I closed the door gently behind me, a tinkling bell ringing to alert the store's proprietors. Everything in this space was made out of wood, the floor, walls and ceiling, including the many shelves carrying the bookstore's books. What made it cute was that none of the furniture matched, each piece so different from the other.
The many books shaped in different sizes and wearing different colors made this place look even more welcoming. There was a large chandelier hanging in the middle of the room, soft light glowing from it and when I took a small step further into the store, I could see beyond the rounded corner, a chimney coming in my line of vision. It was burning brightly, a glass door on it's right that gave view on many pots and plants beyond it and by it's left was an ancient looking armchair with a small side table, the 'blue haired miracle', as Axel liked to call him, sitting nestled into it, book in his lap, spectacles resting on the tip of his nose as his eyes were fixed on the pages.
Looking up and at me, he spoke, "Y-you may look around. If you need any assistance, I'll be right here."
"Thank you, sir. Are you perhaps, the owner?" Why else would he offer to give me assistance or greet me when I walked in?
Moving around on his seat, he pushed the lock of blue hair falling in his face aside. "I- Yes. I am Zexion Joy." He pointed at the store front window, reminding me of the shop's name. "Can I-I help you with something?"
Blinking in surprise, I glanced at the window and looked at the shop's name again. So this was his own store. Turning back to him, I smiled and shook my head. "No. I was just passing by and decided to stop inside. You have a lovely shop. I'll just browse around, if you don't mind." It was a good start. I now knew his name.
"I don't m-mind." He gave me a nervous smile and then returned his attention to his book, reaching up with one hand to push the spectacles properly back in place, seemingly content as his eyes began reading the pages again. Leaving him to his reading, I walked up and down the aisles, drooling over some of the different things that I saw. I should tell my lord about this shop.
Not having sufficient money on my person to purchase anything, I decided that I should probably head back home and start my evening duties. Not that I had many, but I did always start certain things the night before so that my lord could have everything he needed for the morning. Making my way back to where Zexion was sitting, I tried to ignore the way my heart sped up when looking at him. I should not let myself get attached in that sense.
Tipping my hat to him, I said, "You have a lovely shop. I look forward to visiting it in the future."
Blinking up, he straightened just a tad, giving me a smile. "Okay. Have a nice d-day."
"You as well." I'd noticed his rather adorable stutter, but on seeing the rather large volume he was reading I reevaluated my first impression that perhaps he was slow. Smiling as I exited the bookstore, I made sure I remembered where it was so that I could find it if I came back. And I definitely wanted to come back.
Zexion - a week or so later
Ever since that new author had come to light, my store had sold more than it usually did. Not that I was aiming to become the best selling bookshop in this town, I didn't need to worry much about money, but it was nice to see people were enjoying the shop the way it should be.
Setting my hot cup of tea down on the small side table by my worn out armchair behind the counter, I walked over to the front of my shop, pulling up the curtains and turning the small wooden board that read 'closed' on one side and 'open' on the other. Letting the 'open' side face out towards the world, I unlocked the door, peeking out to see if any early risers were waiting, but I could see none. I had a feeling it would be a slow day considering the grey tones in the sky. People didn't take strolls down the city as much when it threatened to rain. Making sure that those few that would pass by would be comfortable, I made my way over to the chimney, placing a new large log onto it and lighting it so it could start heating the room at a steady pace before sitting myself back down on my chair.
I wanted to continue reading the story I'd found not too many days ago. Those types of books were more often purchased by women than they were by men, and when they were purchased by men, they usually had excuses such as 'Birthday present for my sister' or 'What better way to learn of women?'.
I'd say I was brave enough to read them without being secretive, but apparently it was strange for a man to read about a romance themed story, so I kept it to myself. Right now I couldn't read the end of it as I had to do my job and handle the receipts.
Getting comfortable, I grabbed the tray that held the box with receipts, opening it and absently letting my fingers grasp a few, dropping them back into the box before lifting some again, dropping, lifting... My life was really boring... Comfortable, but boring. I'm not sure if I was glad there would most likely never be a change of pace in my routine, or if it made me feel sad. Sighing, I settled my spectacles onto my nose and then started doing my job.
Later in the day...
I had been right, it was a slow day. Only five people had walked into the store and only two of them left as customers. I was glad that I'd decided to add a selection of childrens' books a couple of months ago; it really did help the business as I had come to realize a lot of parents wouldn't take the time to read for themselves, yet they would go out of their way to read to their children.
As it was a slow day, I'd decided to take a moment and re-arrange some shelves, bringing the ones in the back to the front so they could receive some spotlight for a while until I'd switch them again. At least all of them would get noticed, I felt bad when a good book didn't get seen. Actually, I felt quite deeply for all my books. My father said I was a bit ridiculous for it, but I didn't think I was mad for it as, truly, books were my only friends, why wouldn't I care for them? Of course he did understand to a certain extent as he'd built this business from scratch with my mother. I just didn't have, and most likely never would have, someone like my father does my mother.
Patting the pile of books I was carrying, I hummed softly, making my way to the counter so I could put them on display there, some I'd chosen because they were worth the read, others because the covers were truly very beautiful and then a few more that people shouldn't take for granted.
I faltered in my hum as I heard the tinkling bell by the entrance of my shop, looking over my shoulder to see what kind of customer had walked in. I- I remembered him... Putting the books down somewhat clumsily, I flushed at my ridiculous behavior and quickly turned my attention back to the counter, keeping myself occupied by tidying it up. Although my shop didn't swarm with people, I didn't always bother to remember my customers, except when they were regulars, but those who weren't I tended to forget until the third or fourth meeting. Why I remembered this man was very curious...
He stepped inside and looked around quickly, his face lighting into a smile when he saw me behind the counter. Dressed in a very neat and pressed uniform of a household manservant, his blonde hair tied neatly back except for a few bangs that seemed to be loose, he was very well put together. Walking forward, he came to stand in front of the counter.
"Excuse me. I was wondering if you could help me find something?"
Looking up at him, I licked my lips, nodding and tucking the lock of hair hanging in my face behind my ear. "O-of course." It fell back into my face though... "What is it y-you are looking for?"
Running a hand through his hair, he sighed. "My lord has misplaced one of his favorite books and has requested that I locate him a new one. Hans Christian Andersen."
My eyes followed his movement, and I quickly blinked out of my stare. "Y-yes." I said quickly, moving around the counter and towards the front of the store, shelves on the left, where I knew H.C. Andersen books to be. "M-my lord?" I asked curiously, stepping onto the short stairs to reach for the item he was looking for. I never asked anyone questions, I wasn't sure why I was curious.
"Lord O'Malley. I'm his manservant. And normally, I find it my pleasure to go and purchase new books for him." He chuckled. "But tonight he was most insistent that I find him a replacement."
Giving him a nervous smile, I stepped back down to the floor, attempting to move the hair out of my face again. Father always told me to go see a barber and just get it cut. It wasn't a bad idea, I just didn't like the idea of someone I didn't know with scissors so close to my face.
"T-they are very good stories." I agreed with his master's taste. "Most of them are s-sad ending though." Stroking the cover of the book, I then gave it to him.
He nodded, gingerly taking the book from me and smiling. "Yes. I remember. It's been years since I've read it, but I do remember that. Can you wrap it for me? I believe it is going to rain and while I enjoy it, the pages might not." Chuckling, he stepped back to give me space to move back to the counter.
Moving back to the counter, I tried to think of things to say or ask. I wasn't very good at small talk, and normally I didn't feel the need to strike up a conversation with anyone, believing that talking of things that didn't matter were somewhat of a waste of time. Yet, with this man, it didn't seem like such an unpleasant idea. He had a very warm smile and he was quite... handsome.
Clearing my throat, I took the book back from him, wrapping it up as he'd asked. "Y-yes, the weather doesn't look very b-bright today." That might have been a bit of a late reaction... I should find a way to fix that and make sure he doesn't believe me stupid. "Why do you like r-rain?"
Leaning onto the counter with his elbows, he smiled. "It may feel dreary to most people, but I find that it is refreshing in a way. Everything just feels so renewed after the rain washes it clean." Blushing suddenly, he stood back up and straightened. "That must seem strange." He chuckled nervously.
Staring at him, my lips had parted somewhere throughout his words, and I shook my head somewhat absently. "N-no... That's not strange." He was mesmerizing... "I-I know what you mean." What was his name? It would be nice to know his name. It seemed strange to ask for it though.
"So, you also like the rain? I would not think that a bookstore owner would relish the idea of moisture falling from the sky." His eyes were staring into mine and his mouth was crinkling at the corners.
Feeling drawn to him, I carefully leaned onto my elbows on the counter, staring at his lips as they quirked up into a smile. "The b-best way to read a book is when it is r-raining outside and y-you're settled warmly and cozily inside by a hot f-fire." I told him, letting my eyes trail over every feature of his face. "Raindrops falling onto the r-roof is a lovely sound."
Smiling wide, he nodded. "I agree. Many a night I have done that. I have even read this very book to the rain." He reached over and patted the now wrapped book. "And that reminds me that I should of course pay you for this wonderful book and be on my way before my lord becomes even more distraught about losing his other copy." Pulling out his wallet, he waited for me to tell him the amount.
Blinking out of whatever I'd been feeling a moment ago, I straightened and then quickly told him the amount, taking the money from him and returning the change before handing him the wrapped book. I wanted to know his name...
"I-I hope you have a p-pleasant day." I murmured. "Thank you." He made his way out of the shop, the bell tinkling as the door opened and closed.
Demyx - the following day when Axel goes to visit Roxas
Snapping my mouth shut, I gave Axel a look that crossed between threatening and pleading. "You wouldn't, would you, Axel? And yes, I should be taking my leave. Right now. Goodbye, my lord." Bowing suddenly to Roxas, who looked surprised, I was hiding a smile as I turned to give Axel a pointed look. "May I leave as you have so sweetly asked me too?"
He moved to let me pass and as I heard the door shut behind me, I allowed a small victory cheer out. This was certainly a good thing. They were making progress and I'd eat my hat if they haven't at least kissed by the end of the day. Glancing up as I felt water hit me, I noticed that the sky was darkening rapidly and more raindrops were starting to fall. I sighed. Of all the days to forget my umbrella...
Ten minutes later
"Bloody hell!" I swore as I was splashed again by people rushing to get indoors, the puddles quickly growing and my clothes getting more and more soaked. Holding a newspaper above my head in an effort to keep my vision clear, I glanced around and tried to find my bearings. I could always go to the tavern, but it would be crowded with other folks trying to hide from the rain.
Perhaps I could visit the bookstore that I'd purchased Roxas' new book from. It wasn't too far away, and I remembered a cozy fireplace and comfortable armchairs that I could relax by. And if I was being truly honest with myself, I could not stop thinking about the conversation that I'd had with Zexion yesterday about the rain and the best way to read a book. Quickly looking both ways, I crossed the street to his shop and tried to shake the water from my clothes before opening the door. I hope he wouldn't asked me to leave because I was dripping. Dropping the newspaper into a garbage can, I wiped the water off of my face and pushed open the door, hearing the familiar tinkle of the bell.
Looking around the shop, I could see him sweeping the floor on my right. "I'm s-sorry, we're closi-" He paused, looking surprised to see me. "Oh, hello. Is everything okay with y-your purchase from yesterday?"
Trying not to let my disappointment show that he was actually closing, I just smiled and nodded. "Yes, it was exactly what he was looking for. And I'm sorry, I wasn't aware you were closing. I'll just stop by another day." Nodding to him, I turned around and grimaced at the prospect of going back out into the rain.
"Wait!" Turning around, I saw he'd taken a couple of steps towards me, looking hesitant now as I'd come to face him. "I-I don't mind if you stay here to hide from the rain. Could you turn the wooden b-board and flip the lock?" He looked shy. "I'll go get you some t-tea so you can warm up." He pointed at the chimney. "That should help as well." He murmured, giving me a nervous smile, tucking his hair behind his ear, but like yesterday, it just fell back before his eye. Clearing his throat, he put the broom against the wall, gave me a quick nod and then walked over to the counter, moving behind it and vanishing behind a door, most likely getting me that tea.
Well, that was unexpected. Letting my mouth quirk at the corners, I did as he asked and flipped the sign. I quickly took off my jacket and vest, hanging them up on the coat hook by the door. I wasn't too wet now, just the bottoms of my pants. The fire should be able to dry that within a few minutes. It seemed that he closed a little early in the afternoons on this day. I hope that I wasn't not keeping him from something. Moving towards the fire, I extended my hands and let the warmth seep into my bones. The rain itself wasn't that cold, but it did chill you when your clothes were wet.
"Here," Looking to my left, I saw him appear again with two cups of tea, offering me one. "I g-got you a towel as well, in case you need it." He pulled it off his shoulder, placing it on the counter and patting it, looking somewhat uncomfortable as he darted his eyes around the place, his cheeks flushing as he stared at me for a moment before sitting himself down onto his armchair.
I gave him a small smile, not really sure if I should stay. He was awfully uncomfortable it seemed and I didn't want to be a bother. "Well, thank you again. I won't bother you too long. I'll just warm myself up and head out. I didn't mean to keep you stuck here with me." Moving over to the counter I grabbed the towel and dried my hands and my face.
"I-" Putting his cup down, he stood and then frowned, "You, I-" He shook his head, sitting back down again. "What's your name?" He asked then.
"Oh." I felt the burning in my cheeks and I was embarrassed for never introducing myself. "My name is Demyx James. Forgive me for not introducing myself sooner." Taking a sip of the tea he'd offered me, I was pleasantly surprised by the quality. It was wonderful and definitely hit the spot.
He smiled. "That's a nice n-name." Suddenly he jumped off his chair, "Oh! How rude, here." Grasping my arm, he quickly pulled me over, gesturing for me to sit down on the armchair. When I was about to protest, he had already turned, disappearing through the door again and a few seconds later he was pushing a similar armchair out of the room and into the store. Once he was done, he straightened, letting out an exhale before seating himself in it. "What are y-your favorite books?"
Blinking and not quite sure what had happened all of a sudden, I gingerly sat down, gripping my tea. I wasn't sure if he wanted me to stay, so I promised myself that I would only stay until my tea was gone. "Um, well, I enjoy most everything really. But I suppose I enjoy a good mystery or adventure tale more than anything. The book that I bought for my lord yesterday is also a good one. What about you?"
He gave me a curious look. "I'm not sure I should s-say..." Smiling sheepishly, he took a sip from his tea. "It's a very manly genre." He nodded his head at me, giving me a funny look that I thought... was that sarcasm? "I-I don't mean to make y-you uncomfortable." He murmured. "You just seem very interesting to me, for some r-reason."
I couldn't stop the blush that rose in my cheeks at that. Me, interesting? "I, no, I'm not uncomfortable; I just feel as though I'm imposing on you. And then you asked me a question and so I wasn't sure if I should stay or not. But, I find that I would like to stay here. And speak with you." Maybe it was his words that were giving me the courage to be so bold, but suddenly I didn't want to leave.
He nodded his head vividly, "Yes!" He exclaimed. "That's a g-good idea! Y-you should stay and we shall t-" He licked his lips, pausing through stutter. "talk. D-do you like your work place?"
Letting myself lean back into the comfortable armchair, I took a sip of tea while I thought about that. "A few weeks ago and I would have told you tales that would raise the hair on your arms about a Little Lord Brat and his horrible treatment of his poor manservant." My voice was pitiful sounding and then I couldn't stop the laugh that followed. "But it turns out, that my lord is quite the friend to me now. I believe that I am very lucky to be the servant to the family O'Malley. They are worth serving. What about you? Although, I imagine you are quite happy here. Who wouldn't be?" Looking around at the cozy bookstore, I sighed in envy.
"Oh, my life isn't very entertaining." He smiled though, looking around the shop. "But t-this place is e-everything to me. Would you like s-something to eat?"
My stomach rumbled and I nodded. "If it's not too much of a bother, I would enjoy eating something." Drinking the last of my tea, I set the cup down on the counter.
"Sure." He said easily, giving me a smile and getting up, making his way through that door again. I stood and quickly followed him; there must be a small kitchen area behind that door. Catching the door before it could shut, I pulled it open so that I could see what was beyond it.
It was... a bedroom. Blinking in surprise, I saw Zexion move through another door on my right, and smiled as that was where the kitchen was located. Making my way towards it, I almost stepped inside, but Zexion halted in his stride, suddenly turning and then he bumped into me. Looking up, startled, he swallowed nervously and his mouth opened to say something, but then he closed it, his eyes fixing on my face, looking at me intently and not taking a step back to place some regular distance between us.
"I-I'm-" He stuttered out in a mumble, somewhat absently before his eyebrows pulled together in a curious frown, head tilting as he reached up with his hand, letting his fingertips touch my cheek lightly. "Y-you're very... handsome." He whispered and from the way he was looking at me, I wasn't quite sure he realized he'd said it out loud, let alone be aware of having touched me.
My skin was tingling where his hand was resting and my heart immediately jumped into overdrive. He called me handsome and the way his hand was touching me was not the way a friend or even a close friend would touch someone. No, he was touching me as someone would touch another person that they would or could be intimate with. And as the wheels started turning and my breathing started speeding up, I finally let the idea I'd been holding inside, out to see the light of day.
"Zexion." I whispered out, trying to keep control of my emotions and not scare him off. He couldn't be that experienced, at least that is not how I was reading the situation. And being this close to him was driving me mad. I wanted to touch him, but I was afraid that he might not be ready for that.
He blinked out of his daze. "I-I'm sorry, I-" His eyes widened greatly, but his hand didn't move away, just stilled. "Dem-" Gulping first and then breathing in deeply. "Don't be angry." He murmured, letting his fingers slip from my cheek, tucking his hands behind his back and giving me a cringing, yet sheepish all at once, look.
"I am not angry at all. No, I am happy, but I am not sure what just happened." Exhaling, I resisted the urge to reach out and hug him. "I just want to understand. And please, you may tell me to leave if I step over bounds, but, Zexion." I paused and licked my lips. "Do you, er, are you a man who likes other men?" I cringed, hoping that hadn't been too forward, but needing to clarify what exactly he was thinking before I walked myself into a mess.
"I suppose I am..." He said. "I-I don't know. I've n-never felt this way about anyone before." He told me softly. "All I know is that I b-believe you to be very handsome and I'm happy when y-you come by."
Sighing in mild relief, I nodded. "Thank you. I guess that is the best thing to say in this situation." I smiled and relaxed, feeling my muscles loosen at his words. "I find you to be a very beautiful man. Now, why don't you come back out and we'll sit and drink more tea together?" He looked very tense still and I wondered if I should reassure him somehow. Licking my lips, I slowly reached out my arm and gently brushed his hair out of his face. Beautiful blue eyes watching my every move.
He bit onto his bottom lip, reaching up to wrap his fingers around my wrist loosely, not pulling my hand away, just holding onto me. Since he was still standing close, he didn't have to move much to bring his other hand up to my cheek again, letting the tip of his finger trace my lips. His eyes were hooded over, fixed onto my mouth, and his lips parted, allowing me to hear his breathing had picked up some.
I really shouldn't be doing this...really. We did not know each other well enough to be doing what we were about to do. But I could feel the desire coursing through my body in response to the looks he was giving and how close he was to me. With my mind screaming that this wasn't a good idea at all, I parted my lips and gently kissed his finger as it stroked over them.
A small moan escaped him, his Adam's apple bobbing as he moved even closer towards me, staring at how my lips moved against his finger. "Have you ever k-kissed anyone before?" He whispered so soft, I barely heard.
"Yes." I told him truthfully, but for the life of me, I couldn't seem to recall their faces. Instead, I was only focused on his in front of me, getting closer and closer.
"I-I've never..." He trailed off, his cheeks turning pink. "But-" Leaning up, he slipped is finger away from my mouth when his lips found themselves only inches away from my own. "Can we? Would you?" He breathed. Like I could say no to that. Not with him so close and so warm, asking to be kissed. I wasn't made of stone. Leaning forward just the smallest amount, I gently touched his lips with mine.
"Demyx..." His lips moving against me as he said this before pressing back, breathing shakily while his hands snaked hesitantly and loosely around my neck. I didn't want to push him, so I stayed as still as I could, only responding when he pressed back lightly on my lips. Slowly, I brought my hand up to rest on his hip, my other one curling around his waist to rest on his lower back. This was his first kiss. Something that you only get one of. It was a gift and I wasn't going to be greedy by taking more than he was willing to offer.
He moved his lips against mine and after a moment, I felt the tip of his tongue trace my bottom lip. My fingers tightened on his hip, and I let out a soft moan, which led him to moan right back at me. About willing to fling out all cautiousness and kiss him into oblivion, he pulled away before I could. His breaths were coming short, his cheeks bright red and his eyes were wide.
"I-I." Gulping, he took a step back. "Give me a m-moment." He said, looking longingly at my lips before slipping passed me, rushing across the bedroom and disappearing behind yet another door.
"Bollocks." I'd pushed him. "Dammit, dammit, dammit." I ran a hand shakily over my mouth and chin, trying to erase the taste of his lips from mine. Should I leave? Probably. Did I want to leave? No. I should have known that I needed to take it slow. Hell, he'd only learned my name in the past half hour! I didn't know anything about him and here I was taking advantage of him in his own home.
Taking one last longing glance at the door that he'd disappeared behind, I made my decision. Quickly walking back out to the store, I made my way to the door grabbed my coat and vest and left. Standing outside and staring up at the sky, I made one last fleeting look at his door before making my way out into the rain and home.
Zexion
I don't think it was quite possible to make the situation more embarrassing than it was now. How was I feeling so strongly for him? I'd never been attracted to anyone before and all of a sudden Demyx waltzes into my life and that spark occurs, something I never thought would happen and now that it had... All those years of feeling no lust, want, need, like, love, breathlessness, heat, rushing blood, light headedness, beating heart, wobbly knees, bones gone to jello and muscles relaxed to the beyond... were all happening at once when I was with Demyx.
Not only was it unsettling as I'd never been through this before, but the fact that I didn't know him all that well was more than enough to scare me. How could I feel so much for someone I... I didn't know his age, nor his favorite color, what he liked to eat and drink, did he have friends? I didn't know any of this and yet I somehow managed to ignore it all. The fact that he was a man hadn't gone completely unnoticed either.
I'd figured I was broken or something, that I couldn't feel this way about someone like so many others do. Was I surprised I felt this way for a man? Yes, I suppose it was rather shocking, but Demyx was beautiful and even though I didn't know him very well, he seemed to have a very sweet nature... He hadn't taken advantage of me when I'd given myself quite completely on a silver platter. That he was a man didn't matter at all, truly.
Of course, since I wasn't used to any of this, I'd gotten a tad too excited... Pressing my lips tightly together, I looked into the mirror above my wash room sink, my cheeks furiously red. Of course I was blushing... I'd gotten too excited. What would Demyx think of me? Groaning, I hung my head, feeling embarrassed so much, I was quite sure I'd die because of it. After waiting the right amount of time to get rid of the, err, excitement, I took a deep shaky breath, turning the knob and making my way out of the wash room, intent on telling Demyx I wanted to try again, if he wanted too of course.
"Demyx?" I said out loud, frowning as he wasn't in the bedroom, nor the kitchen. Shrugging, I moved back into the shop, feeling a quick rush of cold shoot through me as he wasn't here either. He'd gone... Frowning deeply, I let myself sink down into the armchair, not quite sure what I was supposed to call the sad feeling I was feeling right now.
Demyx - couple of hours later
I watched the outskirts of London come into view and I bit my lip to keep from yelling out in frustration. A month, at the very least, stuck in London. Dressing Roxas for balls and parties and I knew very well that he was as upset as I was about the situation. We hadn't really talked much when I got back, he'd been silent and broody about Axel having left. I was second guessing my decision to leave Zexion's bookstore without a word or note of explanation.
Everything about my actions was wrong. I'd only gone there to get out of the rain. I sighed and bent my head down. That didn't even sound truthful in my mind. I'd gone to see him and maybe talk to him. Axel was right, I'd been stalking him and now it was even worse. Feeling the guilt weigh heavily on my shoulders, I rested my head in my hands. I'd taken advantage of him. Of his inexperience with interacting with people on an intimate level. He said he'd never kissed anyone and instead of just nodding my head, I'd kissed him.
I heard Roxas heave a deep sigh next to me and I tried to feel comfortable enough to speak to him about it. But that would cross a line, I think. Axel was a very good friend to me, my first real experience with men and I don't think I was ready to be that kind of friend to Roxas. Not that I didn't want to be, but I wasn't sure how he really thought of me in his head. I respected his family and him, and I didn't want to pry.
I tried not to think about what Zexion must be feeling now. Was he feeling hurt or used or angry? Would he ever let me into his shop again without calling the police? London loomed over us now, an unavoidable obstacle in our paths and a month of doubts in my mind.
A/N: Reviews are greatly appreciated and help with my homicidal rages at the world. And they will probably get me to upload the next chapter faster. And a shout out to Reyaa, who is busting her ass at her new job and needs lots of love! *HUGS*