Hawaii Five-0 is property of CBS and its creators.
Sue2556 originally suggested something furry and soothing for Danny. I went with a dog, but I couldn't let it go. Anything cat-like was out because Kono has a flat cat, and I couldn't see him with a small animal, so I decided on this. Enjoy!
Danny Williams was pissed. His nice, two-bedroom, attached garage, large backyard, actually affordable house on New Hawaii was already occupied, a fact the rental agent neglected to mention. Oh, it wasn't inhabited with people, or even ghosts (not that Danny believed in them). However, there was definitely something sharing Danny's space.
The first inkling Danny got that something wasn't right was just after he'd moved in. His teammates on Five-0, the governor of New Hawaii's anti-smuggling task force, had left after moving in all of Danny's admittedly meager belongings, and he'd just let his wire-haired Malinois, Bruce, out of his crate. Danny let the dog explore, keeping a careful eye on him.
Bruce happily ran around the house, sniffing every corner. In the kitchen, he paused, paying extra attention to the cupboard under the sink. Danny cuffed him gently. "Get away from there. There's lots of bad things for dogs under there."
Bruce refused to be deterred. He stared fixedly at the cupboard, whining softly. "There's nothing there, boy," Danny assured him. "Just cleaning supplies." The whining got louder. Finally, Danny knelt down, cursing his bad knee, and peered into the space. "See, boy? Nothing but cleaning supplies." Wait, there was something back in the corner. . .Danny got a flashlight and peered more closely. There was a good-sized hole chewed in the back of the cupboard. Danny cursed the rental agent for not telling him there were rats, or whatever passed for them on this godforsaken planet. He should have expected it, though. The planet was teeming with species, native and introduced, including several small, rodent-like species that liked to make pests of themselves. He'd have to call an exterminator in the morning.
Danny was awakened that night by a noise. At first, he couldn't figure out what it was. Then he heard it—a scrabbling in the walls. It sounded fairly good-sized—a rat at least, maybe something bigger. Danny wasn't sure what "bigger" meant on New Hawaii, but he was sure he didn't want to find out.
Bruce had heard the noise, too. He was racing back and forth along the wall, following the sounds, whimpering at first, then full-out barking. Danny stopped him with a hand on his collar and wrapped the other hand around the dog's muzzle. "Quiet." Bruce just whined around Danny's hand and started barking again as soon as he let go. Exasperated, Danny dragged Bruce to his crate and shut the door. "Be quiet," Danny admonished the dog. Bruce let out a slight whine in response, but was otherwise quiet. Relieved, Danny went back to bed.
He had just about fallen asleep when the scrabbling started up again. Danny groaned and put his pillow over his head, trying to block it out. It was no use. The noise wouldn't stop. To make matters worse, Bruce started barking again. Great, just great.
Danny dragged the dog into the back yard, fortunately fenced, grateful it wasn't raining as happened way too often after dark on the planet. Bruce ran around happily. After watching him a few minutes, Danny went back inside.
It was blissfully silent. Danny was just thinking maybe sleep wasn't a lost cause after all when he heard a bark at the back door. Bruce wanted in. Well, at least he wasn't barking at the mysterious critter any more. Danny gave up on sleep altogether and went to make coffee to keep him awake until he could call the exterminator.
Danny was on the phone with the first exterminator he found in the directory the minute that they opened—he actually had to call three times before someone answered. The person assured him somebody would be by shortly.
Danny waited impatiently, checking his watch constantly. After what seemed like an eternity (23 minutes and 17 seconds, to be precise), a van with "Pest-B-Gone" (and really, who thought of these names?) pulled up. A large man, probably descended from the natives of Hawaii on Old Earth, wearing white coveralls and a baseball cap got out and approached Danny.
"I hear you're having pest problems," he said cheerfully.
"I most certainly am. . ." Danny peered at his name tag "...Keoki. There's a hole under the sink, and I heard scrabbling in the walls all night. Drove my dog crazy. Me, too."
"Well, let's take a look." Keoki entered the house, stopping to say hi to Bruce who greeted him enthusiastically then trailed after him, Danny following them both. Keoki peered under the sink, then went outside and found the matching hole. He crawled under the house (and Danny was amazed such a big man fit), flashlight illuminating every nook and cranny.
"You've definitely got a problem, brah," Keoki said when he emerged. "I found three more entry points and what looks like a nest."
"Fantastic," Danny said, sarcastically. "Any idea how many? And what?"
"Probably a scamperer. Nui scamperer."
Danny knew that was slang for any of the rodent-like species, and "nui" meant big. Bigger than a rat, probably. Better and better. "Can you get rid of it?"
"No, brah. Too big for poison. Besides, I saw some snake bits, so could be a moongoose, and they're resistant."
Great. He had Rikki-Tikki-Tavi living under his house. Grace was going to go nuts. She'd probably want to keep it, and some furry, overgrown rat was the last thing he needed. "Isn't there anything you can do?"
"I can give you a trap," Keoki said, "but they're pretty clever. Hard to catch them."
"I'll try it," Danny said.
Keoki left after giving Danny the trap. Danny set it up by one of the entries to the crawl space, then reset it when Bruce stuck his nose in and sprung it. Then he called his partner, Steve McGarrett, and arranged for him to take Bruce until the critter was taken care of. Then he headed off to work, hoping that he'd have whatever the critter was trapped by the time he got home.
No such luck. Danny got home to find the bait gone, the trap sprung, and no animal in sight. He cursed and reset the trap. With any luck, he'd actually catch it this time.
Danny put his unwelcome visitor out of his mind for the rest of the evening. When he went to bed, he prayed for a more restful night than the night before. At least he wouldn't have Bruce barking. Ideally, the scrabbling would hold off as well.
Danny was out of luck on the second one. He did manage a few hours before the rustling woke him, and without the dog, he was able to drift back into an uneasy sleep. Until he felt something nosing under the covers. "Bruce, stop it," he muttered, reaching out a hand to shove the dog away. That's when he realized something was wrong. It was furry and fluffy instead of smooth and wiry, and much, much smaller than Bruce. Danny flicked on the light, turned over, and screamed.
There was a creature in his bed. It was about a foot long and only a few inches high at the shoulder. It had fluffy gray hair that made it look like a silver cotton ball. It had a long nose, twitchy whiskers, and beady eyes. It chittered reproachfully at him but didn't retreat. Danny grabbed his phone to take a picture, and the flash startled it. It ran off and disappeared before Danny could follow it.
Danny showed the picture to his co-worker, Chin Ho Kelly, the next morning. Chin was their resident expert on alien species, a full-time job on a task force specializing in the trafficking of such species. Chin worked his magic with the computer and brought up a matching photo and description.
"Puffball mongoose," he said.
"Native?" Danny asked.
Chin shook his head. "Introduced. It's actually a variety of the Indian gray mongoose, optimized for the climate of New Hawaii."
"I didn't know species could evolve that quickly. And how the hell is poofy fur optimized for a tropical climate? I'd think the thing would boil in its own skin."
"It's more of an adaptation, really. The fur insulates, so it keeps the animal cool as well as warm. Also, it dries quickly from the inside out, much like wool. It doesn't take long for something like this to happen, just a few generations. Mongooses don't have a particular breeding season, so they can breed all the time, facilitating quick adaptation."
"Fascinating," Danny said dryly.
Their co-worker, Kono Kalakaua, happened by at that moment. She looked at the picture on the screen. "What's that?"
"Puffball mongoose," Chin told her.
"It's cute. Somebody smuggling them?"
"Nah, they live here," Chin said.
"So, why's it up on the screen?"
"I have one living under my house," Danny said.
"You should keep it," Kono declared. "Do they make good pets?"
Chin scrolled through the information on the screen. "They're friendly, but restricted as pets. You need a permit."
"I bet you could get one, Danny," Kono said, "being Five-0 and all."
Danny's hands began flailing. "Who said I wanted it!?"
"Why not?" Kono wanted to know.
"Why not!?" Danny's hands flailed faster. "Because it's a pest, that's why not! It's living under my house, uninvited, mind you, scrabbling around my walls at all hours, and crawling into bed with me! I do not want to keep it!"
"Aww, it crawled into bed with you?" Kono cooed. "It likes you. You should totally keep it!"
Danny had had enough. "No! No, no, no! And that's final. And if you-" he leveled a finger at Kono-"so much as suggest to Grace it would make a good pet, I will kill you and feed you to it, so help me, God!"
Kono held up her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, you made your point. No pet. Got it."
"Good. Subject closed." Danny nodded his head with finality and went into his office, closing the door behind him.
Danny should have known the subject couldn't be dismissed so easily. Kono and Chin hand't mentioned it again, but Danny was forcibly reminded when he once again came home to find the trap sprung but mongoose-less. He sighed, reset it, and moved it to a different place where hopefully he'd have more luck.
There was no scrabbling that night, at least, not that Danny heard, but he was awakened at some point by something brushing against his face. Danny swiped at it without opening his eyes, but it didn't go away. Danny started to panic? What if it was a spider? The planet was crawling with them, and most of them were highly poisonous. Danny's eyes flew open. Instead of a deadly arachnid, Danny met a pair of beady eyes. "Chit-chit-chit," the mongoose said.
Danny sat bolt upright, dumping the critter of his chest where it had been perched. "Quit climbing into my bed!" he roared.
The mongoose wasn't phased. Danny lifted it up, carefully, mindful of its wicked-looking claws, and dumped it onto the floor. "Go on, scat!" It chittered once more and ran off.
The third day, Danny wasn't surprised to once more come home and find the trap empty. He also wasn't surprised to wake up in the middle of the night and find the mongoose on his bed, staring at him. Danny stared back. He gave in and blinked first. "You're not going to give up, are you?" It chittered at him. Danny had to admit it was kind of cute. He sighed and lifted the covers. "Okay, fine. Just don't bite or scratch or anything." It chittered happily and dove under, curling up in a soft, warm ball.
It was still there when Danny woke up. He couldn't resist stroking it. It was very soft, and it let out a noise almost like a purr, leaning into Danny's touch. "Maybe I should keep you," he said. "Just don't tell Kono."
Once Danny got to work, he poked his head into Steve's office. "I can pick Bruce up after work."
Steve looked up from his paperwork. "Finally get rid of your pest."
Danny didn't look at Steve. "Not exactly."
"So, what happened then?"
Danny decided to settle on a version of the truth. "We came to an agreement."
Steve shrugged. "Okay, whatever. See you after work."
Danny shut himself in his office and clandestinely filled out the permit for a puffball mongoose. As anticipated, there was no problem, and it was approved almost immediately. Danny then called his vet to make an appointment.
"Find another dog?" The receptionist greeted him.
"No," Danny said. "This one's a little different. I'm adopting a puffball mongoose."
"Branching out, are you?"
"No!" Danny said adamantly. "Absolutely not! This is a one-time thing. If you even so much as hint that I might take in something other than a dog, I will end you. And I'm not taking in any more dogs, either!" The last was probably a lost cause, but Danny felt obligated to say it anyway.
The receptionist was taken aback. "Yes, sir, Det. Williams. We can get you in tomorrow."
Before picking up Bruce, Danny swung by the pet store and picked up a large hutch for his backyard, and a decent-sized cage for the house. He figured the mongoose could stay in the hutch during the day, but given how social it seemed to be, it would probably want to be near Danny in the evenings. Danny refused to admit, even to himself, that he was probably going to let the creature sleep with him. Assuming Bruce didn't object, that is. This whole thing hinged on Bruce excepting the creature.
"Hey, you!" Danny called when he got home, dog in tow, "Come on out! I've got a surprise for you!" There was no response, but Danny wasn't really expecting it. He set the cage in his room and put the hutch in the yard. Bruce trailed after him and sniffed everything inquisitively, but was otherwise passive.
The evening passed without incident until bedtime. Danny settled in bed, Bruce next to him, and they both drifted off.
Danny was awakened by a low growl. He opened his eyes to find the mongoose nose to nose with Bruce, who was growling threateningly. Danny rested a hand on the dog. "Easy, boy. This is a new friend. He's not going to hurt you, see?" Danny stroked the mongoose, all the while petting Bruce as well and making soothing noises. Bruce stopped growling and remained alert, until Danny picked up the mongoose and held it up to Bruce to sniff. The mongoose chittered, and Bruce pulled back with a bark. "None of that," Danny chided the mongoose. "Play nice." The mongoose chittered again, but allowed Bruce to sniff it and touch noses. Satisfied, the dog lay back down. The mongoose curled up as well, keeping a respectful distance, and all three fell back asleep.
Danny woke up to find his bedmates had shifted in the night. The mongoose was now curled up between Bruce's paws, both seemingly quite content. Danny smiled and snapped a picture. Looked like he wouldn't have anything to worry about. He fixed breakfast for all three of them, and watched the mongoose while it ate. "If you're going to stay," he told it, "you need a name." He thought for a minute. "I think I'll name you Paul. Goes well with Bruce, don't you think?" Bruce barked, and Paul chittered. "That's settled, then. Paul, welcome to the family. Just don't tell Kono."
Kono was never going to let him live it down.
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A/N: Paul is, of course, for Paul Simon, another New Jersey musician. I could see Danny listening to him.
