A/N: This is just a cutesy little one-shot that I thought of while I was sitting in English today. I'm sorry if you hate the Christian religion, because this fic is pretty heaven-oriented. It's very symbolic, and it explains a ton that I felt confused about when I first watched the episode where… well, you'll figure it out. And also, I was just guessing on ages here. If you know Lila's real age, tell me. --SxD
Disclaimer: No duh. I'm not Joss Whedon.
Lila's Prayer
Lila Morgan stood outside of a gate. It wasn't gold, like everyone had always said. It was white with dashes of silver.
Like the angels, Lila thought, smiling. If only they were black, like the angel. Although…
Lila sighed. Angel. He'd gotten her into this mess, hadn't he? If he had stayed himself; not let those foolish humans turn him into Angelus, then she would still be on earth, safe in her sewer. She wouldn't have had to see the tunnel with the light at the end; wouldn't have had a fork shoved into her neck.
But there was Wesley.
At least she'd been with Wesley in her last few hours of life. Granted, he'd been pursuing Fred during those precious hours, but he'd always done that. Lila wouldn't have suspected he would do otherwise. There was nothing to suspect.
Of all the people who'd given a crud about her, Wesley had cared the least. Hollin, Lindsey, even her mother, who was so old and batty that she didn't remember who Lila was anymore - Wesley had never even told Lila that her hair smelled nice after she'd scrubbed it three times with pomegranate shampoo, his favorite scent.
And yet, Lila knew that he did give a crud. Wesley, she had learned, could love anyone. He conformed to fit into their life. Wesley, when with her, proved that he cared rather than tell her that he cared. Lila was just fine with that; she'd never been a big fan of the mushy 'I-love-you-let's-elope' stuff. She quite preferred Wesley's style.
"Say a prayer, Lila," a voice boomed. It was strangely familiar. Lila was used to obeying it.
Lila knelt.
Dear God, or whoever or whatever is listening. Protect them. All of them. Angel, Connor, Fred, even Cordelia. Gunn. Lindsey, wherever he is. And Wesley. Let Fred love him as I did; as I still do. Give him someone to hold on to.
If anything happens to them, hold me responsible for not praying properly. I haven't done anything like this in a long time. I hope that I am forgiven.
Take care of Mom. She's been suffering so long. When she dies, make it quick and painless. She deserves that, and so much more. She's a good woman, despite how I've turned out. Take special care of Angel. Deliver him from evil and all that jazz. Turn him back un-evil. As much as I've done to destroy the world, it's really a very nice place to live, and they need a champion, not entertaining wit. Though the wit is quite enjoyable as well. Could you possible ditch the evil and keep the humor? Probably not, unfortunately.
Keep Cordy out of trouble. She didn't used to be evil. Something's definitely up there. Let Angel and my Wesley fix it. I like Cordelia. She's smart, and I'm fairly sure she's always liked me, too.
God, please. I know that I've done nothing to deserve this, but they have. They've done so much. Don't take them before their times. In other words, let Angel live and battle forever. Wesley, Fred, Gunn, and Cordelia should get another sixty years or so at least, and Lorne… how long should Lorne live? Wait, don't answer that. Just give him a good long time.
That's… it. I won't pray for myself. I deserve nothing. And I'm not sure how to end this type of thing. It's not something they really talked about much in Sunday school. So I'll just finish the way I feel comfortable.
Yours truly,
Lila Morgan
Amen
"Good, Lila," Hollin Manners said, coming to the gate. So it had been Hollin. It made sense; Lila had answered to him for years. "This is Heaven. You've seen it now. So say good-bye."
"Hollin, I can't. It's -"
"Lila, you have a contract to fulfill. You have -" Hollin consulted an official-looking document. "an eternity left that you need to work for Wolfram and Hart."
Lila shut her eyes. It wasn't right. It was… unnatural. But then Hollin turned the document toward her, and there was Lila's blood signature. She'd agreed to an eternity. But she'd only been sixteen. She had been young and full of crazy ideas and schemes. Nine years later, she was still being punished for being young and stupid. Lila now understood the "legal age" laws.
"Can I stay for just a day?" Lila pleaded. To come as far as the gate and to leave without entering couldn't possibly be allowed.
"No, Lila. You have to understand. Soon there will be work to be done. It concerns… Wesley."
Lila's head perked up. "Send me back. I need to see Wesley. I have to explain."
Hollin smiled at her. "I'll see you soon, Lila."
Lila's body shimmered and she began to fade away.