BioWare owns all; I just play in their pond. Reviews are always welcome!
A/N: Twice Bitten is the tale of the Fifth Blight, as told from the point of view of Zevran Arainai to his friend Danica Amell.
Chapter One – Confidant
I never would have expected to find myself speaking so easily of my past. Well. Perhaps easily is not the best choice of words. I had sworn to myself to take some of these tales with me to the grave, until I found in my friend's lover the sort of audience one does not generally see twice in a lifetime.
The first time my actions, and their consequences, and my thoughts, were not judged, I fell in love, and was repaid with the bitter loneliness born of my own folly. The second time I dared to speak of my actions, and their consequences, and my thoughts they were, while questioned, accepted as part of who I am. And I fell in love again, to be repaid with the bitter loneliness born of another's duty.
Though I have returned to the wily and carefree demeanor of my past, I have yet to reach again for the touch of another. My wise friend under the crown has managed to convince me I was not betrayed. Or at least not betrayed by him, though his duty still resonates in my memory like the traitorous beast I know it to be. But I had resolved to keep my secrets close, if for no other reason than to protect those with whom I might otherwise be tempted to share.
But in her, I find I have an outlet, and perhaps speaking of all that is in my memory, as she has so graciously and silently allowed me to do, will give me some measure of the peace I seek. While it is rather charming the way my crowned friend reacts to certain thoughts and observations, I would not wish him the genuine distress of hearing me remember aloud my one great love. The attraction did begin with the physical allure, after all, though of course the fact that the man saved me – eventually from more than death at his own hands – did play a part.
She forgives me my lurid observations, and accepts that I have at times been crude, and is content to simply listen as I unburden myself of the winding tale that chooses to be so present in my thoughts, even after almost a decade has passed. I cannot decide if it is her acceptance or her silent willingness to let me conclude what I will from my own words that I value most.
Hmm.
I think it may simply be that I know I will never feel for her, not as I felt for Rinna, and not as I felt for Aedan. Perhaps what I value most in her is that I will never curse her to share the fate that follows my love. I have been twice bitten, and turning the fangs of grief on another I would call friend is a betrayal my conscience could not bear.