Here is another one-shot for not updating yesterday. It's rather short but I've had it for awhile. I wanted to write from Edwards POV (I just can't seem to stay away from him but oh well I'm not complaining.) It's when they first get back from Italy and he's in her room waiting for to wake up. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Seriously you guys have gotten me addicted to reviews. They're my brand of heroin. ;)
I knew what a wretched mistake I had made. I didn't deserve this utopia of holding her in my arms as tightly as I could without killing her.
I knew why I had left in the first place. We could never seem to escape the danger. With my bloodlust, visiting vampires, Jasper's moment of weakness… Everything seemed to be stacked against us.
I remember the night I decided to make the most atrocious mistake of my very long existence.
"Edward, I cannot tell you what to do I can only give you my opinion." Carlisle was looking at me with the strangest expression I couldn't decipher it.
"I respect you above anyone else in this family your input is what I value most but I know what I am doing. Bella will be better off. Besides in a few months she'll be over me and be able to live a normal human existence as she was intended to."
My unbeating heart was shattering already at the thought of someone else holding MY Bella, loving MY Bella but this was what is best for her…right?
Carlisle looked at me with that strange expression again, I tried to read his thoughts but he was blocking them.
"Is that really what you think, Edward? That she only believes you to be a frivolous high school romance?"
Somewhere deep in my heart I knew Bella was my mate. She felt as deeply about me as I did for her but logic and reasoning said otherwise.
"Yes Carlisle. She can't possibly feel for me the way I feel for her, she's only human."
Carlisle once again had that strange expression, I finally deciphered it. His face showed pity, love, and anger, something I had never seen before.
"Edward this is my opinion. Bella will never think of you as anything less than her soul mate. She is tied to you the same you are tied to her. I believe that in leaving her, you are making a grave error in judgment, son."
I was incredulous at the thought. Bella was an eighteen year old girl. Not a vampire. Her feelings would never match mine.
"I respect your opinion Carlisle. I am going through with this though. She deserves so much more than I could ever offer her."
Thinking back to that moment Carlisle was right.
And I had been blinded by my exceeding arrogance of thinking I knew what was best for Bella and my idiotic notion that she thought the same way as any other human.
Had she not proven time and time again that she was extraordinary beyond comprehension? I looked at her and she looked like a sleeping angel.
Her mahogany hair strewn out across her pillow, her porcelain face showing the signs of fatigue, she was amazingly exquisite and I had left her.
I knew I would never be able to make for the heartache and pain I had caused this angel.
She had chosen me, because she deemed me worthy and I knew I was not.
Holding her in my arms after all the hell we had been through felt so right.
It was the healing power of her simple caresses on the plane and her deep chocolate brown eyes staring into my black, soulless one that gave me the flicker of hope that maybe I could repair the damage.
She was my soul, my whole world, my whole reason for existing. And I was foolish to think I could try to "live" my damned existence without her.