Edit: Now all fixed up! I think…
Special mention to my wonderful beta Christie, whom I couldn't possibly live without
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto and the characters, there would be more yaoi and Gaara, Sasori wouldn't die and I wouldn't be writing this on FanFiction now would I? In other words, I don't own Naruto in any form or another. It makes me very sad…
Don't lie to me.
Don't say I'm not a monster…
Chapter One: Daddy dear
A lone figure stood, the wind picked at her cloak in the darkness, a large hand covering her small wrist. The owner of the hand begged the girl, pleaded with her, but she was past it all now. Past the emotions that, if she let them, would overwhelm her.
"No." She cast a hand behind her as the air rang momentarily with a strangled sort of scream, which was cut off in a corrupted gurgle, the hand growing slack on her wrist. The girl allowed herself one quick smirk before continuing down the long road.
She turned into a dark alleyway, secluded and cut off from the world. Her adrenaline rush started to fade, along with the affects of her medicine, all her feelings and emotions rushed over her. She cried silently, tears running down her face and staining the concrete floor of her new, cold home.
She was free, but at what cost?
A piercing scream woke the five-year old girl, who raised her tear streaked head, poking it out of the alleyway entrance. At the other end of the road, a man with similar features to the girl in the alleyway, had been speared through his center, his heart ripped out of his chest. The road behind him was splattered with blood and, at the end, laid the dead man's heart.
A milkmaid dropped her bucket, running for help, even though the man was clearly long gone. She didn't even notice the girl who stared at those open eyes, the iris' almost a pearly white and his shaggy hair, the colour of the clouds on a rainy day, which were so rare in their village and not unlike her own, was stained bloody and the eyes stared ahead unseeing.
The girl left the alley, coming to a halt at her father's feet, looking at his frozen face. Her eyes widened at the sight before her and her breathing grew ragged. She tugged on the dead man's foot but he did not move, the breeze picking at his clothes as blood pooled around his daughter's feet.
Her body shook, her lips moving without sound. She only broke her trance at the sound of running foot steps. Unthinkingly, the girl hid again, watching as the villagers found the slaughtered body of her father.
"Daddy dear," she whispered to herself in the darkness, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth slightly. Again and again she whispered it, daddy dear, until everyone left and the body was cast away. She was alone again. She stood and walked cautiously to the mouth of her hiding spot, unable to spend any more time there.
Night had fallen once again, but she felt no hunger. The sight of her father drove all thoughts of food out of her young mind, as she wandered around. The sand kicked up and the village was hit by yet another sand storm. The girl sheltered between buildings, shaking off any excess sand.
She wandered for hours, halting only once when she heard the faintest sound. Against her better nature, she followed the sound, looking up at a red-headed boy, hands covering his face.
She could only hear him cry and she wanted to comfort him, but a shield of sand rose behind his back and the boy turned, allowing her a view of his face. Gaara.
She watched on as Gaara protected himself, a ball of lethal sand enveloped his attacker and then, spurred by the muffled groans, she ran up the stairs, two at a time.
Gaara lay with his head on the ground, tiny hands clutching his blood red hair as tears streamed down his face in rivers. The girl felt her own throat choke up, tears built up behind her eyes. The body of a ninja, Yashamaru, lay slumped against the building, covered in blood. The sight didn't repulse the girl, but it drew her in closer.
"It was an order," Yashamaru gasped, his breath ragged, on the brink of death. Gaara looked up at this, the black around his eyes unsmudged by his crying, though tears ran freely down his face.
"I was ordered to kill you, by your father." Gaara's eyes widened in shock, tears falling off his face as his hand flew to his mouth, the girl unaware that her hand did the same, the built up tears flowed down her own cheeks.
Gaara's small shoulders shook as another wave of tears crashed down on him, and the girl sunk to the floor. A small voice shouted incoherent things in the back of her mind. As she watched the scene unfold, two thoughts surfaced. The first, this is Gaara, you fool, he'll kill you. The second, Run.
So she did, she left the crying boy and the dying man alone, flying down the stairs. A loud explosion from above caused her to trip, skidding on her stomach across the floor. She scrambled to her feet as she fell into the inky blackness, squinting back up where Gaara had sat moments before.
Was he still alive? The girl felt guilt run through her when she thought of the two bodies up on the roof top. She hesitated, unsure of what to do; a loud scream filled the air. Torrents of sand flew into the air, streaming down to the ground and the screaming continued, then it just stopped. The sand fell to the ground slowly and she could see Gaara's red hair.
He was still alive, but why did she care?
A girl hid in the shadows, but not very well. There was no doubt she could be a ninja of sorts once she had the proper training. Gaara saw her on the roof top, crying. Because of him or with him, he wasn't sure.
His cheeks were still wet as he rubbed his eyes, acutely aware that the girl was following him. He knew her face from round the village, but didn't know her name. It tugged at the back of his mind until he stopped, turning to confront her.
"Who are you?" he asked, noting that his voice was strained. The girl looked uncomfortable; obviously she thought she'd been invisible to him. He felt her eyes move to his forehead before answering.
"S- Saideita," Gaara looked at the girl before him. Her eyes were wet and her clothes and face were dirty except where the tears had left streaks on her cheeks, showing the pale white skin underneath the thick layer of grime.
"What do you want?" He took a few steps forward as sand flowed around him, connecting his feet to hers. He noticed her glances at it; saw a flash of fear in her eyes. So it had been her on the roof top and she'd seen what he'd done. He felt tears prick behind his eyes.
Gaara saw Yashamaru's face flash in his mind, his cruel words coming back to him and the tears flowed down his cheeks again. He was vaguely aware of an arm around his shoulders as he continued to cry silently, feeling his hair grow damp from the person's own tears.
"Come on, Saideita'll take you home." The arm snaked around Gaara's waist, pulling him up and guiding him. His steps were unsteady, but the pair made it to Gaara's home with only a few tumbles and skinned knees.
Saideita knocked on the door, sitting Gaara on the porch. She hid beside the house watching the door swing open causing Gaara to fall through the doorway. She heard a male voice gasp and saw Gaara's feet disappear as he was dragged inside.
Saideita nodded to herself. Leaving the boy to his family was all she could do. Then she remembered who it was that had ordered his death. Saideita hung around Gaara's bedroom window as an older boy with brown hair and purple marks on his face, dragged a stunned Gaara to his room, hauling his limp body onto the mattress where the younger boy stared at the ceiling blankly.
Saideita lay down at the window as the moon moved across the sky and her eyes grew heavy. She slept after the sun rose, only waking when a shadow blocked out the light. The sudden change seeped into her conscious mind, yanking her out of her dream.
Saideita blinked a few times, raising her head to look at the owner of the shadow but the glare from the sun darkened their face. She struggled slightly as her sore muscles protested against her sitting up.
"What do you want?" The voice and the question reminded her of last night, of the horrors she'd seen and the voice had experienced. Saideita hesitated, unsure of what she wanted.
"Saideita doesn't know yet." She decided as the boy moved out of the sun's glare, revealing Gaara's face. She noticed a red mark on his forehead and moved her hand, brushing the hair away from it. "Love." She read the kanji out loud.
Gaara gripped the girl's wrist tightly, bending it back with his thumb. "Do not touch me." He lessened the pain when Saideita cried out, clamping a hand over her mouth. He didn't want his father coming out here, especially after the man had sent his own uncle to kill him.
"Saideita is sorry." She dropped her gaze from the strange character and Gaara loosened his grip a little more, keeping his hand on her wrist.
"Do you always do that?" he asked, giving the outlandish girl a strange look.
"Do what?" Saideita looked at him, completely unaware of what he was talking about.
"Say your name, instead of 'I' and 'me'." He dropped her wrist, shifting onto his knees, eyebrows furrowed.
"Saideita does?" she asked, a hand flying to her mouth as she heard herself say 'Saideita' instead of 'I'. Gaara just shook his head, flicking her forehead. "Wanna be friends?" Gaara's eyes widened, taken by surprise at Saideita's question. He knew full well that the village hated him.
His uncle hated him. His own father hated him. Yet here was this strange girl asking to be friends with him. Saideita watched the boy with interest as his eyes became wider and his mouth hung open, she laughed at him, flicking his forehead.
"Well?" Gaara closed his mouth, nodding vigorously at the idea of a friend and Saideita winked at him, holding up two fingers. "Alright!" She smiled and Gaara felt his own lips pull into a sorta-smile.
"Why aren't you scared of me, like everyone else?" Gaara asked the smiling girl. The smile faded and she pulled a face, thinking. Why wasn't she scared? She had been scared at first but not now.
"Because, Saideita saw you cry." She put a finger on Gaara's chest, deciding that was why she no longer feared him. Tears showed that he was human and not a monster. You didn't need to fear people like you feared monsters.
"Do you think the village would like me if I showed them that I cry?" Gaara looked at the dust between his knees. Saideita sighed and shook her head.
"Not everyone is like Saideita, besides Saideita likes you whereas the villagers… well, they aren't the nicest people in the world." Her voice dripped with revulsion that people could be so rude, so insensitive. The entire village reminded her of her father and she would take pleasure at seeing them all dead.
"Like the children at school…" Gaara felt his eyes prick again but rubbed them, keeping the tears at bay. He cleared his throat to rid it of the lump that had formed half way down, turning his gaze to Saideita.
"Come with Saideita, we'll have fun." She extended her hand, getting onto her knees. Gaara took it, warily, in his and the girl pulled him up with her, the smile once more plastered on her face.
Saideita ran with Gaara, pulling him along with her. Around them people recognized Gaara but not the girl, a few adults tried to pull the girl away from the boy they thought as dangerous but the sand protected her as well as Gaara, blocking people's hands from getting to either of them.
The first time this happened Saideita stopped, shocked and Gaara ploughed straight into her back, knocking them both to the floor. Gaara started to apologize but Saideita's laughter stopped him. He smiled at the laughing girl as people stopped in shock, waiting for the Kazekage's youngest son to kill the girl, but he never did.
The pair stood once more, running, and in no time reached their destination. Saideita looked around excitedly, bouncing on her heels. Gaara just looked confused, all eyes on the small child as people began shuffling out of the shop, even the shop owner.
Saideita became aware that everyone had left. "Where did everybody go?" She looked around and saw the shop owner running down the road. Gaara shrugged, even though he knew his presence made everyone leave. "Hn, well then, free cookies!" Saideita shouted, letting go of Gaara's hand and diving behind a simple counter, returning with a large cloth bag full of chocolate chip cookies.
"Come on, let's go." Saideita shouldered the bag and grabbed Gaara's hand again, dragging the boy out of the shop to a deserted alleyway. "Saideita comes here with Daddy." She told Gaara as they hauled themselves over a low wall. Saideita found what she was looking for, a short yet strong tree that had grown here yet was never disturbed.
Saideita helped Gaara up onto a bough and handed him a chocolate cookie. He took it and bit into it, chewing on it for a while. "Like it? They are Saideita's favorites!" Gaara nodded enthusiastically and Saideita handed him another, taking one for her own.
All too soon, night fell and Saideita walked with Gaara to his home. "Good night Gaara." Saideita waved, turning to leave but Gaara stopped her.
"Will you come back?" Gaara asked worriedly. Saideita nodded.
"'Course Saideita will!" She hugged the boy, who, after a moment's hesitation, hugged her back.
"Where do you live?" Gaara planned to walk to her place in the morning.
"Eh, how about Saideita comes here?" She looked awkward and toed the ground, but Gaara nodded, agreeing for her to come back to his house for another day of playing and eating an unhealthy amount of cookies.
"Good night Saideita." Gaara waved as the girl ran off. Once he had gone inside Saideita doubled back, settling down across the road from Gaara's home to wait until morning when they could play together.
Saideita woke early the next morning to find Gaara sitting on the steps of his home, she grinned, sliding around the house and onto the road. Running down, she saw Gaara stand and meet her half way.
"I didn't think you'd come back," he confessed as the pair wandered around the village, taking the back ways and avoiding any major road.
"Saideita told you she would and Saideita is a person of her word!" Saideita spoke like a teacher to a student and they both laughed. Gaara was even getting used to her talking in third person.
They walked for hours, talking and laughing. Around noon, Saideita took Gaara to her favorite food store. "Wait out here, Saideita'll be back in a second." Saideita walked into the store and ordered a steaming bowl of take-away noodles and ran out of the store without paying.
"Run Gaara!" she cried as adrenaline pumped through her, she gripped Gaara's hand as the store owner gave chase, but he was a fat man and didn't follow them for very long. Saideita giggled, leading Gaara to her tree to eat their noodles in peace.
"You know, Saideita thinks this is our tree now not just hers. Saideita'll share her tree with you." Saideita settled into a bough, slurping slightly and gazing up into the leaves of the tree. She tilted too far back and fell right out of the tree.
"Oomph!" Saideita landed hard on her back and saw Gaara look down at her, before sliding out of the tree.
"Are you alright?" Gaara helped her sit up, pulling on her arm. He removed his hand only to find it red with blood that wasn't his. "Saideita, you're bleeding."
Saideita looked at her arm innocently. "Huh," she huffed, but Gaara wasn't letting go that easy.
"Let me look at it." He pulled out her arm, remembering what Yashamaru had said about flesh wounds. He rummaged through a bag he'd brought, pulling out the ointment he had tried to give to the girl he'd hurt.
"It's fine, Gaara, just a scratch." Gaara ignored Saideita's protests and applied the ointment to the so called 'scratch' which ran the entire length of her arm. "That hurts…" Gaara looked up to see Saideita's eyes were wet and he stopped.
"I'm sorry…" He looked awkward, unsure of what to do.
"It's alright." Saideita patted his shoulder, pulling him into a hug. "Mother used to kiss it better, look I'll show you." Saideita bent over her arm, kissing the scratch. "See? All better." Saideita showed Gaara her arm. It didn't look better to him but he nodded all the same as Saideita licked the metallic liquid off her lips.
"Time for home now!" She picked up her fallen noodles and motioned with her head for Gaara to follow.
"I can't play tomorrow, I have training." Gaara made a face at the thought, he'd much rather be playing with his new found friend than practicing his Jutsu and chakra control.
"Teach Saideita what you learn, please?" Saideita made Gaara promise to teach her everything he learnt over the week so she could play ninja with him properly.
Once more she left Gaara on his doorstep and left, but this time Gaara followed. He hadn't found out where she lived yet and he wanted to know; besides, his father wouldn't care.
Gaara followed her as she turned around, heading back towards his home and watched her slip between two houses where she sat down and closed her eyes. Gaara watched her for a few moments, but she didn't move, nor did anyone come pick her up.
Gaara walked to his own house and entered, he'd ask Kankuro or Temari why she was doing that when they got home.
Gaara paced, impatiently waiting for Kankuro or Temari to come home. Finally Kankuro tumbled in but when Gaara asked, Kankuro just ignored him, walked to his room and slammed the door in Gaara's face, telling him to bugger off.
Gaara sat on the hallway waiting for Temari, and after a long wait she too came home.
"Hello, Temari." Gaara stood to greet his older sister but Temari gave him a look of fear and disgust which Gaara chose to ignore.
"Temari, when would someone sleep between two houses in the street?" he asked, trying to look innocent as Temari wandered into the kitchen.
"When they were homeless," Temari replied automatically, not even looking at the small child next to her. She didn't have time for him, and he scared her, so she made up an excuse and shuffled off to bed.
Gaara stood there, shocked for a few minutes before heading for his own bed. He may be young, but he knew what homeless meant, so did that mean that Saideita had no one? Gaara stared at the wall, thinking about the girl, sleeping between two houses across the road and he felt like crying.
I got really bored so here you have it. Poor Gaara! No wonder he's so RAWR I SHALL KILL YOU ALL!!! To everyone… I wrote this because I thought Gaara needed a friend.
I know the beginning was morbid but I like morbid and yaoi so don't be surprised if there is more morbid stuff and yaoi's and sadistic stuff because that's me and that's what I like and I'm the fucking author here so HA! Eh hem sorry 'bout that…
I'm pretty sure that Kankuro didn't have the purple paint on his face when he was younger, but everyone knows Kankuro for that and it made it more concrete who he was.
I haven't watched all of Naruto and I've tried to make Gaara's childhood as right as possible but I could only get what they had on You Tube so I apologize to you hard core Gaara fans if I got stuff wrong, not including the fact that Gaara got a friend cause I know that doesn't happen.
Hope you liked it somewhat and will stay tuned to find out more of my little tale.
BTW this took me six bloody days to write so don't expect frequent updates.
-Teme