A/N: Got home like two hours ago from my trip and wrote this in about 30 minutes but I wanted to post it. Unedited so it might be kinda crappy, but I hope you enjoy. Some of this is a little more AU, like how they still dont talk even though they do now, but its just a quick oneshot. Hope you like :)

Dear Nicholas,

We haven't spoken in a while. 209 days, to be exact. I just wanted to say hello. How are you doing? I heard you're dating her now. I hope she makes you happy, I really do. She's a sweet girl.

I know you hate me now, but could you give me a chance to explain? There's so many things I could say to you right now. I've had the same thoughts since that last December, but somehow every time I see you, it's like I can't move. Even when we were together you had that affect on me. You still do.

You see, Nicholas, the world is a big place. This is a judging, superficial world, and no one understands what its like to be me. To be constantly put under the microscope and judged. Sometimes, its tempting to just scream on the top of my lungs and let out all my anger and frustration at the world. What would you do if the media constantly picked at what you wore, who you hung out with, what music you listen to? Every slight picture you take is speculated and something is found wrong with it. Every outfit you step out in is considered "slutty".

You and your brothers are getting big. You can't go any place without girls screaming and crying for you anymore. They used to be my fans, too, you know. You don't know what its like to have a big piece of your heart ripped away like that. But you will learn soon enough. Hollywood is deceiving, slutty, controversial. Your good-boy charm will last a little while longer until you too are criticized. Until some of your fans start to turn on you for someone, or people, that are better looking and more talented.

Can I ask you a question? Every time you drive down Sunset Boulevard and billboards and palm trees are passing you by, do you stop and think about how different your life would be without me? When you go home to your multi-million dollar home, have you ever thought about how much I helped you get there? Every night when there is sweat gleaming across your faces and your adrenaline pumping from the thousands of fans, do you ever think of me?

That's what I thought.

No.

I've been hurt so many times. I may laugh when someone writes a mean review or bashes me on Perez, but inside, it hurts. It hurts because a lot of it wouldn't have happened without you. And yet, here you are, winning awards and getting praise and you have girls falling head over heels for you, falling under your charm. I don't blame them; I did too once. There's a lot that they don't know about you.

No one will ever understand. But when everything is broken, I still want you to know who I am. I may have lost my way here, but I haven't forgotten my way home. I will never change. I've seen it happen to too many people now, and unfortunately, it is happening before my eyes to you.

I ask you, as you read this, to think about everything that has happened in this past year. Is it really worth it?

Remember that time we snuck out of your home in New Jersey and walked down the street barefoot? We danced in the rain together, and you kissed me. It was in that exact moment that I knew I loved you. I think about that time a lot. We were happy together. We had everything in place, our future set.

I should be happy now. I have a perfect boyfriend that I am happy with, my career is in place, and I'm close to my family and friends again. But somehow, there is still a hole in my heart. I wish that for once, when we see each other on the red carpet, we wouldn't have to pretend that we don't see each other. I wish that I wouldn't have to lie in interviews and say that we are the best of friends. I wish for one second, you could realize how much you are changing. I don't know who you are anymore, but its certainly not the person I fell in love with.

Nick? Be happy, okay? Enjoy life.

I miss you.

Never forget me, okay? No matter how much you want to, please keep a small part of me with you. I wont ever forget you either. I promise.

Best,

M.

xx

A tear dripped off her cheek and landed on the piece of paper, lightly smudging the neat black print. She folded the paper into three parts, and then sealed it with a sticker she found in Noah's room. Writing Nick across the top fold, she stuck it in an envelope and then left her room. She wiped her palms across her cheek to get rid of evidence of her tears, and then snuck through the back gates of their estate. She found the security standing out by the gates of the residence. She wanted to avoid them, so she went around the back gate that no one knew about.

She snuck down the street, and for once, not a paparazzi was in sight. She walked down the neighborhood a few houses, and then found a familiar house. She opened their mailbox, and then slipped the letter in along with the rest of their mail.

And then, for the last time, she left.

A/N: And the rest is unwritten. I could make this a two-shot with Nick's response, or leave it up to your imagination. It's up to you. Check out my profile and vote in my poll and check out my other fics! And reviews are greatly appreciated :)