Maka skipped along as she went home. She had a new bag of clothes, and (gasp!) a bra/panty set from Victoria's Secret. She didn't buy it, of course, it had been a birthday gift from Tsubaki, Patty, and Liz.
Soon, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Not a surprise—she was a little late getting home.
"Hey, Soul," she said, as she slowed her pace to talk properly. "Is something wrong?"
"Well, your stupid dad's here, and—"
"So tell him to go away. I don't want to speak to him. Wait, why's Papa even there?"
"Something—something about him seeing you at… um…" Maka could practically feel the blush through the phone.
"At?" she asked.
"MAKA! MY MAKA! WHY, OH WHY, WERE YOU AT VICTORIA'S SECREEEEEET?" Maka flinched away from the phone, holding it far from her ringing ears.
"Go away, Papa. My life has nothing to do with you."
"WHAT! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT! I AM YOUR FATHER! I KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU! AND IT DOESN'T INVOLVE SKIMPY UNDERCLOTHES!"
"How can you say that? You once bought me skimpy underclothes! And told me to have fun with them!"
"Wait… What? No I—NEVER MIND! IS THIS ABOUT THAT SOUL EATER BOY? STAY AWAY FROM HIM! HE'S DANGEROUS!"
A muffled voice in the background said, "What are you talking about, you old man! I'm not dangerous!"
"Papa! Soul is not dangerous. He's also gay. I don't even know why I'm putting up with you still. Go away, give the phone back to Soul."
"But… But…"
"Just give. The phone. To Soul!"
"Maka… He's crying now," Soul said, after repossessing the phone. "What should I do with him?"
Maka, her pace now at more of a trudge than even a walk, simply replied, "Just throw him out. He'll go back to Lord Death eventually," and sighed.
After a few muffled bangs and crashes, and a final, "GET OUT!" from Soul, Maka was confident her idiot father had left the apartment. Wondering why he had bothered going to the mall to stalk her, she continued walking home.
"Hey Maka… he's gone. And why aren't you home yet? You were supposed to be home half an hour ago, at least. What's taking you so long? And were you really at… um…"
"Yes. It doesn't matter. Sorry I'm a little late. We lost track of time and Tsubaki needed new jeans, so…"
"Well, you should call me if you're going to be late. I was worried."
Maka smiled and blushed a little at her partner's blunt, yet sweet comment. Soul wasn't really that much of a feeling guy, so even a slight notion like that seemed pretty big, coming from the scythe.
"I'll do that next time. Sorry aga—Wait a minute. Who's screaming in the background?"
A rather big voice was booming something about how great he was, and how big. Maka was shocked.
"Soul, be really, really careful about what you say right now, got it? Why is Black*Star over?"
"Um… Because he was with Kid…?"
"So you're saying Kid's over,too? Well, WRONG ANSWER. Let me speak to one of them."
"Uhh, sure…" More muffling was heard, and a 'what, babe?' that made Maka feel sort of intruding, and Kid came on the line. "Hello, Maka. What seems to be the problem? Is everything all right?"
"Kid," Maka said, in way too sweet of a voice, "I'll say the same thing to you that I said to Soul. Be very careful of how you answer. Why are you over?"
"Well," Kid answered, oblivious to the hidden venom in Maka's tone, "I asked if he was doing anything, since you were shopping with the girls and Tsubaki, and he said that I should come over. Since I was hanging out with Black*Star, he just came too. Is that any trouble? Oh, I also took the liberty of making your house symmetrical. Your room was—"
"Kid… Give the phone to Soul. Right. Now."
Now Kid heard the anger in Maka's voice, and he readily handed the phone to Soul.
"Maka…?"
"Soul Eater Evans! What the hell! Kid was in my room? He made it symmetrical? What about my closet? Did he make that symmetrical, too? And my dresser. He went through my clothes, didn't he! I am so mad at you right now! You are the last person I want to see! I try to have a bit of fun on my birthday, and I find out that while I was celebrating, some horny, prepubescent, teenage guy is rummaging through my underwear? What is wrong with you? No really—is there a problem in your brain? I don't want to see you today. I'm going to the Gallows. I'm sleeping over with Liz and Patty. Tsubaki was staying there, too, so I guess that's where I'm headed."
"Maka… Kid lives there, too, you know…"
"Not today he doesn't. He's sleeping on the floor of our living room today. If you protest, you're all getting Maka Chops. Actually, you're getting Maka Chops anyway, but you'll get extra-painful ones."
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.
"Hello?" Patty peeked through the door, opening it a crack. "AH! IT'S MAKA! YAAAAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" She held out a bright purple elephant. "Look! Patty made you a sheep! See? MOOO! MOOOOO! M—AAAH! IT BIT ME! DIE! DIE! DIE!"
Suddenly, the elephant was no longer an elephant, but a few scraps of brightly colored paper on the floor. Patty was glaring at the "enemy" furiously, as if it had tried to eat her alive. The door opened all the way, to reveal an exhausted looking Tsubaki and a quite apathetic Liz.
"Patty, it's a waste of paper if you just destroy all of your animal friends. Go put that one in the recycling. And by recycling, I don't mean garbage dispo—ohh, Maka! Why're you here? Weren't you going out with Soul?" Liz looked concerned. "Is something wrong?"
"Yeah, Maka. You and Soul are getting along fine, right? Is everything okay? He didn't try to make a pass at you, did he? Oh, you poor thing." Tsubaki went over to Maka and pulled her inside. "Come on, let's have a proper birthday celebration, okay? I'll bake a cake!"
"Here," said Liz, "I'll get us some drinks."
Maka smiled at her friend's warm words and sat on the plush and symmetrical couch. They really knew how to cheer her up. It was just too bad that the only reason she was here was—
"Oh yeah! I totally forgot why I was here! I'm so pissed at the guys right now. Especially Soul! You would not believe—"
"He did try to make a pass at you!"
"Tsubaki! Of course not! That's just… No! What he did was invite Kid and Black*Star over. On the one night I ask him not to, tell him I want to have some peace and quiet on my birthday, he totally and completely disrespects my wishes! I mean, we were even going out to dinner! Instead, he calls me and I have to listen to my stupid Papa rant about how he was stalking me, and then I find out that a guy was going through my clothes! Gaah! Dinner is off! I don't want to talk to him."
"Ohh, Maka. I had no idea! The moment I see Black*Star tomorrow, I promise I'll talk some sense into him. I'm so sorry! Now that I think about it, he did once try to peep in on me while I was taking a bath…" Tsubaki looked thoughtful, then snapped back to reality. "Well, at least we can have some more girl time, right?"
"Thanks, Tsubaki. But… Black*Star was about as innocent as Black*Star can be. It was Kid."
A crash resounded through the house and Liz's head popped through the door of the kitchen.
"Kid did WHAT? KID? WHAT? I didn't even know he was physically capable of doing anything remotely sexual-Especially to a girl! Oh, crap! PATTY! C'mere! We have to hear this."
"Alright," Maka sighed, "I'll tell you. Just… UGH!"
"PATTY IS HEEEERE! Hey Maka, why did Kid go through your panties? You didn't even get to put the new ones in your drawer yet! Those are so pretty! And symmetrical!"
"Patty, Kid is dating Soul. The underwear was for Black*Star, not Ki—"
"The underwear was for me! Not Kid or Soul and certainly not Black*Star!"
"C'mon, Maka, just tell us the story!" Tsubaki looked enraptured with the whole idea of a scandal. Maka was a bit surprised, but then, Tsubaki usually didn't share her true feelings. She just cared about everyone else. The girl probably needed a bit of good old gossip in her system.
"Well, apparently," Maka sighed, "Kid asked Soul if he could hang out, and BAKA that he is, Soul agreed. Of course, Black*Star was hanging out with Kid, so he just had to come over, too!" Maka put her head in her hands and the three girls surrounding her nodded, totally entranced. "So then, I get a call from him and my stupid PAPA comes on the phone, ranting about how I'm not allowed to go into Victoria's Secret because I'm his little girl!"
"Wait," cut in Liz, "didn't he get you lingerie as a celebratory gift after that huge test...?" Maka nodded furiously.
"I know, right? I mean, how hypocritical can you get? So anyway, he's finally off the phone and I told Soul to kick him out when I hear Black*Star yelling in the background." Maka rolled her eyes as she said that, and Patty gasped melodramatically, falling to the floor and laughing hysterically. Liz kicked her and made her shut up and sit down again. "So I asked Soul what he was doing there, and all the dumb guy can say is, 'Because he was with Kid!" she finished, mocking Soul's voice by doing a dopey-sounding baritone at the last statement. She groaned, exasperated. Tsubaki put an arm around her shoulder.
"There, there... You poor thing."
Suddenly, Maka shot up again, eyes wide. "Right! So then, why Kid was in my drawers! Apparently, Soul let him make everything symmetrical-or try to, at least. How DUMB is that? I don't even want to go home right now, I'm SO mad at Soul! Also, I don't think I'll be able to find anything. I'm not going out to dinner with that stupid scythe for ANYTHING! He can just have a nice microwave meal at home with his OCD freak perverted boyfriend."
"Yikes, Maka, that's a little intense, don't you think?" Liz pointed out. "I mean, Soul just can't say no to Kid," she said. Patty nodded, giggling.
Maka sighed, looking at them. "Yeah, that's true, I guess..."
"And Kid's gay, right? So it's not like he wanted to see your underwear or anything, I bet!" chirped Tsubaki.
Patty nodded again. "Alsooooo! Once I asked him why he thought girls were icky and...! Annnnd!" she cried out, standing on a chair. Liz pulled her down and prodded her on.
"And, Patty?"
"And he told me that girls were intimidating and gross because they were scary and... um..."
"And, Patty?" Liz repeated.
"And vaginas were disgusting!" Patty chortled, running off into the kitchen. Maka, Liz and Tsubaki sat there, staring at each other in shock.
"Kid... Kid really said that?" Tsubaki whimpered, a bit embarrassed.
"I have no clue whether or not she made that up..." Liz replied. Maka seemed about ready to pass out.
"Well... Well I guess... he really didn't want my panties, then..." she said in the same tone as the other two.