Disclaimer: I don't own due South in any way, shape or form. No copywrite infringement is intended. This is just for fun. I think that fanfic is a good way to explore what happens in between, and as a result of, the episodes. So, on with the exploration.

Notes: Written for the Due South Flashfiction Self-Insertion challenge on LiveJournal. This is my first ever Due South story. There are actually two versions of 'me' in this: the main one being '90's me', but also '2008 me' (named Dee) who has a little cameo. All locations are based on a Chicago pocket city-guide, and my overactive imagination.

10,000 Dollars

"So here's the deal," they say to me. "Three days work, Stateside. You get you meals, you get your flights, you get your room. 10,000 dollars. What d'you say?"

What do I say? Well I say yes obviously. Deal like that doesn't come around very often. Even if it does mean staying in some crappy, second rate motel with bad food and using the most budget airline on the planet. I mean, it's not like I need Concord or anything is it? That thing gives me the creeps. And 10,000 dollars will see me through college easy, and still leave some spare.

So yeah, "I'm in, no worries…"

So in moments like this, when I'm starting to doubt my sanity, I remind myself of what I'm doing it all for.

10,000 dollars… 10,000 dollars…

It's become like my mantra, y'know? Something to keep me focused on the job long enough to get my payoff.

See, here's the thing. I'm standing here in Washington Park, not too far off East 51st, all dolled up, and looking for all the world like one of those Femme-Fetale's out of the famous movies. You know the type – meet a guy, eat him for breakfast, take him for everything he's got, and smoke a cigarette without even smudging their lipstick. One of those.

Not that I could do the whole smoking thing. Never smoked. Haven't told them that though. Hoping they're not going to ask me. Though I guess for 10,000 dollars I could give it a try.

Anyway, so where was I? Oh yeah, standing in Washington Park like a tart with a heart. And I'm trying to pretend like its all sunny and stuff, when really its just flippin' cold, and looks like it could bucket down with rain any second. So I'm trying really hard not to shiver and all, 'cause that would kind of ruin the whole 'look' and everything…

Just as much as a nice padded parker and a pair of gloves would. Ah well, a girl can dream can't she?

And to top it off, there's all these people gawping. And they're definitely not trying to make eye contact or anything, because seriously, my eyes are like, NOT THERE!

10,000 dollars…10,000 dollars…

Anyway, here comes Joe finally. Maybe things will go right this time, and I can go and get a well earned cup of tea. Joe's kind of the main man in this whole thing, and he's looking kind of hot with his floppy blond hair, and black leather jacket, strutting his stuff towards me like he owns the whole of downtown or something. And I don't know, maybe he does.

So Joe's almost got to me, when things kind of go right 'off the map'. There's this shout, and Joe must have panicked or something, 'cause he's off and running. Prat. Didn't even sound like his name. This other guy comes barrelling out through the trees that shield off East 51st, and heads off after him, big coat flapping behind him like a cape or something. Like he's trying to be a superhero. And geez! That gun looked real! This is so not part of the plan. And then…

"Oh dear."

Now just as I'm thinking my day can't get any bizarre already, things decide to get really weird on me, 'cause this other guy comes after Big Coat, all dressed up in red and black and a fancy hat. Must have been going to a fancy dress party or something, but he does look kind of cute. Sight of him makes me go and drop my handbag, all accidental like. And you can knock me down with a feather, 'cause he only stops to pick it up for me!

"Excuse me ma'am," he says as he runs after Joe and Big Coat, with a slight tip of his hat.

Sure doesn't sound American. Cute and well mannered. Well that's kind of rare.

So I'm watching the chase like just about everyone else in the park, 'cause what else am I gonna' do right? I'm not running, no matter what. I mean, in these heals? Probably break my neck! At least the chase has stopped everybody gawping at me. Well that makes a flippin' change.

Joe's real fast when he wants to be. Had lots of practice apparently, probably from husbands and fathers, I reckon. And it really looks like Joe is going to get away, because Big Coat is starting to fall behind. But then Cute Guy has grabbed one of those horse and cart thingies they use for the tourists, and Big Coat tries to jump onto it, but misses. Causes much amusement from the spectators as he rolls down the path I can tell ya', but he's up and running again even faster right away. Got to give him points for that at least.

Then Joe hangs a U-turn, cutting across the grass and stuff. Doesn't he know that horses can run on grass? Prat. He's heading back up this way full tilt, and Big Coat is trying to head him off at the pass, when I notice Cute Guy's cart has got stuck half way across the park. Must be all that rain this place is getting, making the grass all soggy or something.

Kind of gives Joe a chance anyways. His legs are pumpin' away like mad, and people are starting to cheer him on now, like this is some kind of race or something. Mad. But Big Coat's too far behind, and it looks like Joe's gonna' get out to East 51st, and maybe hail a taxi of something, I don't know.

And then, this is weird, not like things haven't been weird or nothin', but things are goin' to a new level of weird every minute, y'know? There's this grey-white dog see, and he's been sittin' here, quite happily watching stuff like the rest of us. But now he jumps up on Joe, and takes him down, just as Cute Guy comes riding up on the horse that was hitched to the cart. Bareback! I so did not see that one coming!

Cute, well mannered, and apparently multi-talented. Definitely rare.

Big Coat stumbles up, looking all dishevelled and stuff, like he's been pulled through a hedge backwards, as Cute Guy jumps off his horse completely immaculate. Big Coat looks him up and down and gives him a sort of half disgusted look or something, before pulling some cuffs out and sticking them on Joe.

"Good boy Deif," he says to the dog. "Remind me to by you a jelly donut later."

The dog gives a happy "woof", and Cute Guy's eyebrows go up, along with his hat, which is like, one of the funniest things I've seen in ages. He looks like he's going to say something, but decides not to bother. Big Coat rolls Joe over, and gets right down and shoves his badge in his face.

"Frank Trinelli…"

"No! Joe Dinaro."

Big Coat jerks back like some puppet with its strings being yanked, and Joe looks like he's cowering, even if he is lying on the ground.

"Then why the hell did you run!?"

"I dunno," he kind of tries to shrug or something, but I guess maybe that might be tricky when you're lying with your hands cuffed behind your back.

Like I said. Prat.

"CUT! CUT!!"

I'd kind of forgotten Jacques was there, which is kind of weird, because he's actually really hard to miss. Got a voice like one of them load-hailers the cops use to talk down hostage takers and jumpers and stuff y'know? And he's ambling towards us with Dee in tow. Like always.

"That was brilliant! I just loved it! Gonna' make you guys stars!"

I can see him counting dollar signs in his head, greedy sod. And you can bet he won't be shoving any of that money my way. I'm only contracted for a stupid short film thing, and now this guy thinks he's got something else. Geez. Yeah, that's my luck just right there.

Big Coat and Cute Guy are looking around like this is the first time they've noticed all the cameras and sound gear and stuff. I mean, are you kidding me? Geez. It's not like we were being discrete or anything.

"Ah," says Cute Guy, as if that explains everything. And maybe it does, I don't know.

"But what about the script?"

That's Dee. She called a Production Manager or something. Seems like her job is mostly sorting out absolutely everything, including our pain-in-the-ass director. Don't think I could do that job, I'd probably knock him out or something. Though at least she doesn't have to wear stupid heals on wet grass.

"Script, smipt!" exclaims Jacques, throwing a script in the air to make a point. "We're hitting the big time now chickerdee."

Did I mention that he likes to make up words? Well yeah, he does. A lot.

"Now hold up a minute!"

Big Coat's heading after Jacques, who's wandering away talking to Dee, plans for this 'new big thing' runnin' around in his head, if all his wavin' his arms and jabbering are anything to go by. So Joe goes and speaks up.

"What about me?"

He's up on his feet again, Cute Guy having helped him up again or something, and he's starting to sound really whiney. Hate that in a guy. Big Coat turns on him, getting into his face and poking a finger into his chest, almost making him fall over backwards again.

"You, I'm gonna take downtown. Wasting police time." He goes to stalk off, but Cute Guy don't let him.

"Ray… Ray… Ray…"

Repetition would seem to be the order of the day here. His shoulders slump a bit as he turns back. Now that's a tired and fed up man right there that is.

"Fraser…"

"Ray…"

With a sigh, Ray trudges back and takes the cuffs off Joe.

"Are you cold?" the one called Fraser asks me. Takes me by surprise I can tell ya'. But I guess I'm shivering now that the cameras are off and there's no need to keep up the whole 'look' thing.

"Yeah," I nod.

Cute, well mannered, multi-talented and observant… well kinda'. Not bad.

"Ray?" he says again, and he's pointing at the guy's coat! Yuck! But lucky for me Ray has other ideas, grabbing the leather jacket right off Joe's back while he's busy rubbing his wrists.

"Hey!"

"Or, I could just kick you in the head."

And that's enough for Joe. Not so much of a cool dude now is he? He throws up his hands and storms off, muttering under his breath. Prat. You really don't diss the guy with the badge and the gun, y'know? Ray shoves the jacket in Fraser's hands and storms over to Jacques and Dee.

"Thank you kindly," calls Fraser to Joe's back.

Now that's the strangest thing yet. This guy doesn't seem to quite fit here y'know? The jacket's nice and warm though, so I don't really mind or nothin'.

"So who are you anyway?" I ask him. Partly 'cause it's a nice safe question if you just need something to say, but mostly 'cause if I just stand here with all these questions running round in my head, its just gonna' drive me bonkers.

"Constable Benton Fraser. Royal Canadian Mounted Police."

Well, explains the costume I guess. And all the horse stuff. But not…

"What's a Mountie doing in Chicago?"

Did I really just ask that?? Oh, yeah, real original question. Sure he's never heard that one before! It's like asking a British drama student what she's doing in a Chicago park in February, wearing a skirt that had a previous life as a belt. But this guy doesn't seem to notice.

"I first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my father, and…"

"Yadda, yadda, yadda," Ray cuts him off. "Doesn't need explaining right now."

Hadn't noticed him come back, tell the truth, rather distracted as I was by the Cute Guy… erm, Fraser. Ray's not looking any happier than before, and he's getting antsy now. Rubbing his hands in his hair, and shifting about a lot, y'know? He pulls Fraser away a bit.

"You wanna' go talk to them Frase? You're good with people."

Fraser does this move thing with one hand, then rubs his thumb along his eyebrow. "You know Ray, the Inuit have a saying…"

"Just, get the tapes ok?" He's makes this sweeping movement with his hands. Makes it look a bit like he's shooing him. Weird.

"Understood."

He nods to me as he walks past, and I wanna' ask Ray something, but he doesn't seem to wanna' talk to me. Actually, he's making a real effort not to look at me, head down a bit and shuffling his feet again. Geez! I mean, this is almost worse than all the gawping and stuff.

I guess it makes him kind of sweet though right? He's got this whole Mac thing going on, and chewin' on a toothpick or lollypop or something, I don't know. Kinda' makes me wonder if I've wandered into an episode of Kojak – The Early Years. Maybe that's what Jacques saw. Another buddy cop show, but this time with a Mountie in the mix.

There's this noise not far away, so we look over. And Fraser's standing to one side looking kind of embarrassed, while Jacques and Dee have an intense conversation. Actually, Jacques seems to be having a full blow tantrum. He does that a lot too. Apparently its because he's an 'artistic genius' or something. And Dee's trying to ride out the storm. Again. She must be real good at it though 'cause she's worked with him loads, even though he seems to fire her half a dozen times a day. Mad.

Then Jacques storms off. Again. And Dee takes Fraser over to the cameras. And when he comes back. You know what? He actually has the tapes. And I've got to admit I'm impressed. Never thought he would be getting them, no way.

Cute, well mannered, multi-talented, mostly observant and good with people. Not bad. Gotta' be the most rare guy I've ever met right here.

But then, get this, Fraser stops dead, and starts looking all around like he's gone and lost something.

"Diefenbaker?"

"Deaf wolf," Ray says to me, like its completely normal. And maybe it is, I don't know. But…

Deaf wolf? He's shouting for his deaf w… Wolf!? Joe got tackled by a wolf? Geez! I wanna' take a careful step away from Ray when he's not looking, but my stupid heals have got stuck in the mud. These guys are real cops right?

Cute, well mannered, multi-talented, mostly observant and good with people… and maybe, a little nuts?

Then there's this loud clatter from the tent where they go and serve up our one half-decent meal of the day, before we have to put up with the cheap and cheerful supplies the motel has to offer, y'know? And there's some angry shouts from the guy who does the cooking, and I figure it out at the same time Fraser does. The wolf likes jelly donuts, and apparently, also my lunch. Geez!

And now? Now it starts to rain!

10,000 dollars…10,000 dollars… 10,000 dollars…

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