Cristina's POV

I wasn't supposed to feel like this. I wasn't supposed to let anybody humiliate or hurt me like this.

I have been keeping up this walls around myself for so long that I don't even remember the time before that. But I guess that work wasn't for nothing. I have only let few people to come and break those walls of fear and loss. Meredith, my person and sister who has been there when nobody else weren't. The only person who never failed to understand me. And Owen.. the only man I have ever truly loved.

I didn't even realize I would care so much. I didn't listen to him. I didn't even look at him and try to understand the pain he was going through.

I realized how much I truly cared when I saw that I was about to lose him. I witnessed the sweet looks that the nurse gave to my husband. The smile that she gave to my loves face. Gosh I haven't seen him smile for so long. I still remember the feel of pure paranoia and anxiety whenever he didn't show up home. I remember it so vividly because I still feel it all the time. It's just a feeling that won't go away. No matted how hard I try.

The pain is so real. The picture of the man.. the love of my life touching and caressing another woman.. the pain is so real that you just want to disappear. I just want to disappear to a place where I would feel numb. To a place where tears won't fall. Usually I'm a master at that. I'm good at hiding and covering my feeling with work, my passion. But not this time. This time the pain is too heavy.

I wasn't supposed to be the girl who just sits in a empty hotel lobby looking straight ahead. I look there but I have no idea what is right in front of me. I'm supposed to be in bed. Or studying. Anything but sitting and doing nothing. I'm here to do my boards, the most important exam of my life and not mourn. So get up.. get over yourself damn it

I looked up and saw Jackson standing there. Maybe he didn't saw me yet. Maybe he would leave me alone. Or maybe he would be the someone who could make me feel better. I couldn't go to Meredith. She was sick and I know how she would react. I couldn't hear how big ass Owen was. I needed someone who could be there beside me. Maybe I haven't given Jackson a chance? He did save Derek. He wasn't a bad guy. No.. he couldn't see me like this.

Jackson's POV

I'm desperate to get my mind of elsewhere. Tomorrow is the day of the boards and failure isn't an option. I'm Avery.. I won't fail. Just because I don't want to listen to the lecture of greatness being an Avery.

I have studied hard to this exam. Even first my family wouldn't believe I would actually have what it takes to do this. It was easy just to assume that I would live the rest of my life just depending on my looks.

I have never been a good sleeper. Especially when I'm nervous. That's why I found myself wandering in the hallways of the hotel the boards were. It seemed that the most of people were sleeping since there weren't any sound to be heard. Just light snoring and the birds right outside the window. I walked to the lobby to buy some refreshment before I would try to get some sleep but instead I was surprised by the sight I saw.

Cristina Yang sitting in the lobby. Normally it wouldn't be such a rare sight but something had changed tremendously. Her whole presence was different. It could be seen from the position she was sitting. Her hands and legs were protecting her whole body. It looked like she wanted to hide from the outside world. Her face was the same. There was no smile or evidence of happiness or sadness. But her eyes said them all that needed to be said.

Usually her eyes were cold. Nothing but focus and drive was seen through them. That was something I admired about her. That's why I knew she was an amazing surgeon.

I remembered the confident, independent woman I met when I came to Seattle Grace- Mercy West. That attracted me and I kissed her. I now knew that it wasn't my smartest idea. She was out of my league.

I would have never believed I would see her this vulnerable.. human. After all the years I have known her I would have never known she had this kind of side of in her. I saw a small glimpse of it in the shooting but she was unfriendly to me after that even I thought we would be friends.

I hesitated if I should go.

"Hey Yang" I said to her quietly and all I got was brief knock as response. I sat next to her on the comfy bench and I looked at her wounded face. She did her best to hide any evidence of sadness from her face. She probably saw my staring when I heard "What" come from her mouth.

"I was just wondering how are you doing" I asked her and saw her heave a sigh. She was clearly pondering her answer for a while and then she turned to me. "I'm good... I just want to you know.. feel something..." I heard Cristina's soft whisper and I looked at her surprised by her answer. Her whole body was turned to me and she leaned against the soft red bench. Her curly hair was wild and free and her whole presence was relaxed. I looked at her chocolate brown eyes and I gave quick admiring look on her fuller lips.

"What- what do you mean Cristina?" I asked and I wanted more clear answer what she meant. ".. feel something other than..." she was trying to choke out the word "pain" but she couldn't. I wasn't going to make her.

"Al.. alright" I said to her and tried to figure out what would happen next. I would have never expect to see her face inches close to mine ever again and feel her lips on mine. I slightly pulled back because I was so surprised. "What are you doing" I asked her confusion heard on my voice. I ran my hand through her soft thick hair and I saw her defeated gaze go to the floor and back to me again. I felt her cup my face and go back to my lips again. I let myself fall to the feel of her body against mine and her soft lips possess mine. I felt tears on her face and I pulled back to look.

"Cristina.." I whispered and tried to say maybe this wasn't the right thing to do. "Please.." was her soft answer and she pulled my lips against hers once again. Even only one of her kiss held so much strength, passion and emotion that I was taken.

Even when I was pulled to her hotel room I didn't think how wrong this probably was. I knew her husband, Owen Hunt, was waiting for her at home. That wasn't the main concern on my mind.

I saw the most intelligent and beautiful women in front of me who needed me right now.

That was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had in my life. Totally different you could expect. It wasn't cold.. exactly the opposite. It made me feel warm.. and loved in some weird way. It felt like I could see the true Cristina right there in that moment. She didn't hold back anything.

The only sad cold truth was that I wasn't surprised when I found myself in a lonely bed next morning.

When I walked in the hotels dining room next morning I already saw everyone up eating their breakfast. Even Cristina. I was frozen for a moment and I wasn't sure how she would react after seeing me. I saw her look up to me and I gulped. But there wasn't need to be scared. I saw a small smile form to her lips. It was a small but it was a smile. Something I have never seen her give to me. I smiled back to her. Now I somehow knew that Cristina wasn't just that what she seemed to be. She was a person who had so much more content than many would thought.

She smiled to me

Author's note: I made this simple one-shot because I wanted to describe more of Cristina's feelings after the cheating. I also wanted to show the more vulnerable side of Cristina. Even I'm a Crowen shipper Jackstina is my crack-ship so I made them hook-up in this fic.

I hope you enjoyed! Please I would really appreciate your thoughts :)