Chapter 1
I sat in the middle of my bedroom feeling what can only be described as utterly broken, my heart shattered not by love but by life, by karma, by that bitch! I hated her for all she had done to me, I wasn't a bad person and to be perfectly honest I just I couldn't believe life could change so drastically.
For one I was powerful, rich and beautiful, not too long ago I would have been beating men off with a stick. I would have walked down the middle of the highstreet completely naked with nothing but a few diamonds on and would have lapped up the attention, after all I had worked hard, sooo hard, I had left behind all my young needs I never went out partying and drinking alcohol with my friends when I should have been working. Instead I was working, in libraries, my head in book's, studying, getting straight A's, and then there was the work-out's I did, despite the 12 hours I'd spend studying I'd do 2 hours everynight in the gym after all I didn't come from a rich background If i wanted to make a name for myself I had to work hard for it. Work harder than all of them put together. After all my hard work was I only allowed just a few years of happiness albeit a bit stressful at times but happy is there a quota on happiness these days, now I was left half the woman I was before, I'm Scarred I'm hideous and worst of all, I'm broken. My horrible new face in all of the papers, my bloody face spread across the front page, I didn't like it one bit. You'd think a cop's daughter would be shown a bit of sensitivity but no I'm not seen as a human after all I'm rich and powerful, isn't it what we deserve to have something taken away from us.
Sitting on my bedroom floor staring at those newspapers was not doing me or my brain any good, it was driving me crazy. 'I need to get out of here' I spoke out loud, then I laughed when I looked around and realised that I was alone, my dad back home in forks after our arguement and me alone, my so called PA/Entourage nowhere to be seen when you actually need help. The thought of going out on my own at this moment was unbearable I would rather jump in a bathtub full of water with a toaster in my hands than go out on my own. Call me crazy or paranoid but I know they stare it's hard not to.
I sat there for 10 minutes, my eyes closed, listening to my slightly weezy breaths in and out, in and out, in and out, when i opened my eyes I felt a little lighter and got myself up off of the floor and opened the door to my huge closet and began searching for the baggiest, darkest, clothes I could find, I ended up pulling out an old college sweatshirt and baggy jeans, I pulled them on and reached for the nearest shades and hat I could find, if i was going out on my own I was making it as easy on myself as possible.
I walked out the closet and sighed thinking of the beautiful clothes I used to wear, the kinda clothes that said 'I'm amazing and beautiful and you need to know me', I doubted I'd ever have the balls to wear that stuff now. So I settled for looking a bit like Britney mid breakdown. I stood in front of the doorway, picking my keys up and jamming them into my pocket and sneaking a quick glimpse in my hallway mirror, I had to laugh at myself right now it was so tragic i'd usually never wear this outside my home. I sighed and left the safety of my home, I already wanted to go back inside and I'd only just left I locked the door and shuffled down the hallway my head down my hood pulled up and just watching the occassional pair of feet walk by as I took the stairs down to the lobby.
Phil the security guard gave me the sympathy stare/smile, I loathe the stare/smile when you catch people staring at things they shouldn't and then get guilty, fuck i'd rather they just point and laugh at me or gawk at me its better than pity. 'Hi phil' I said quitely as I strolled past his little station near the elevator. 'Hi Bella how are you this fine morning?' he said with a nervous smile on his face. God how i'd like to punch him right now 'I'm perfect phil thank you' I said as my feet unconsusly sped up I pushed the huge glass doors to the building open and hailed a cab.
'Where to lady?' the greasy cab driver asked not even bothering to turn in his seat to look at me instead looking in the mirror. 'Erm, actually I don't know..' I said being honest with this complete stranger 'I want to go somewhere quiet, please?' I said quietly as I stared out the window at all the people rushing around, I exhaled and muttered under my breath 'useless utterly worthless'. Then I heard a man clearing his throat, I realised i was in a cab and that the driver wanted my attention, I looked up at where he was, he had actually turned and said 'Well I know a lovely little cafe it isn't much to look at but it's relaxing a nice place to clear your head and the cuppa's are only £1' he said his face smiling at me for once without the sympathy it usually got me nowadays. 'Erm... sounds perfect, thank you'. He drove in silence, I didn't talk and I just sat there not moving my hands pushed under my thighs and just stared out the window as London wizzed by outside. 'That'll be £15 love... actually this ones on me and when you get in there be sure to ask for Edward he makes an amazing cuppa and aint to hard on the eyes' he said with a wink at me I'm sure he thought my problems were boy related or something and great another pretty boy to stare at. Oh joy. 'Thank you' I mumbled numbly as I opened the door and stepped back out into cold, fresh air. The cab left and I looked at the really, really small cafe and inwardly grinned its amazing small, quiet and hopefully I won't get any attention here.
I walked up to the door and pushed it open walking into the cafe that was sooo warm it felt like i was being hugged all over with hot water bottles. I walked to the back of the room and sat at a little table, and started to arrange the sauce packets into alphabetical order damn my bloody OCD tendancies. 'Well someone really likes little packets of sauce' I heard as someone laughed lightly, I was about to shout at whoever was there but as I looked up and saw the man's face I was blown away I litterally felt my mouth form an O shape as I exhaled the breath I didn't realise I'd held in anticipation of my arguement with this minimum wage worker. He was stunning, and had the most amazing laughter it was like chiming it hurt my cheeks not to smile it was powerful laughter. 'Sorry I didn't mean to offend you it's just you seemed to really like those' he said jerking his thumb at the condiments i had my hands on still. Dear god he even has amazing hands, so pretty i said in my head. I just couldn't stop staring I'm sure he thought I was special or something. 'Soooo, what can I get for you?' he said unleashing the full magnitude of his amazing god given smile. It was a lovely cheshire cat grin it was amazing. I found my voice and said 'Just a cup of tea please, the cab driver said that a guy called Edward makes a nice cuppa here', 'Well I do even if I do say so myself' he said still smiling at me. I just had to remember to keep breathing I told myself as I gave Edward a small smile and looked back to the condiments my hands were clutching at. 'Okay It won't take long to make and how about I throw you something a lil' extra special with it' he said as I heard his steps grow further away from me. I breathed out again and finally dropped my little packets of sauce.