"Where's Steve?"

The question came from Clint Barton, who sat at Schwarna digging into a turkey sandwich and sipping on a large Sprite. The Avengers always gathered there to eat and hang out, usually doing things like reliving past adventures, joking around, and trying to lift Thor's hammer. But one essential member of the team was missing today: Steve Rogers.

Natasha Romanov, the Black Widow, pulled out her cell phone and texted SHIELD agent Phil Coulson. "Is Rogers here?"

The answer came back a moment later: "He should be; I saw him a few minutes ago… in the staff kitchen."

"The staff kitchen?"

Natasha's question was answered when Steve walked in, holding a fork and a foam cup. "Hey, guys, sorry I'm a little late. Director Fury had to show me how to prepare these."

Tony Stark snickered. "What are you, in college? Are those… Ramen Noodles?"

Upon closer inspection, the other Avengers (besides Thor, who had no clue what this "Midgardian cuisine" was) discovered that it was indeed Ramen Noodles that Steve was eating. Bruce Banner furrowed a brow. "You realize how bad that is for your health, right?"

"Not in moderation," Sam Wilson argued in Steve's defense. "Besides, Cap's got the Super-Soldier serum. He can take a little added sodium."

"I must try this 'Ramen' stuff," Thor declared, slamming a mug down- hard- on the table. It shattered and coffee spilled everywhere; immediately he began cleaning up cracked porcelain and hot coffee, blushing madly all the while. "Sorry," he said sheepishly after he threw away the last paper towel. "I'm still getting used to Midgard's… second-rate containers."

Steve laughed. "Come into the kitchen, Thor! There's plenty of Ramen! Man, this stuff is the best!"

Natasha rolled her eyes. Those two were seriously going to develop an addiction to Ramen? Sure, it was good and convenient and all, but it wasn't very healthy, and in her opinion it didn't hold a candle to Russian cuisine like blini* or borscht*. Or cabbage soup.

Nick fury came in a moment later looking very irritated, and uncharacteristically disheveled. "Odinson," he panted, having run all the way, "can not operate a microwave oven. Rogers can't either, for that matter. Those two are having a noodle fest in my kitchen!"

Tony raised a brow. "You have a kitchen?"

Fury's one good eye glared coldly at Stark. "I did."

Scene Change, courtesy of Iron Man…

"And so then," the Thunder God went on, splashing a little chicken broth in Banner's face as he made an expansive gesture with the hand that held his Ramen noodles, "I proceeded to haul the serpent* into the boat with all the force I could muster! I just about had him, too, when- snap!-" more hot broth went flying "-he fell back into the waves, sending one that nearly brought our little boat to its doom!"

"Dude," said Clint, wiping his face, "your stories of Asgard are awesome and all, but… please stop getting Ramen on everybody."

"Sorry."

"Well, anyway," sighed Steve, taking a bite of Ramen, "we've gotta pay the expenses for everything we ruined in the kitchen."

Thor's face fell, and paled a little, his blue eyes growing enormously wide. "What's wrong?" Steve queried, concerned.

Thor forced himself to speak the words that he knew his comrade would rather not hear. "We won't have any money left for more Ramen noodles."

DUN, DUN, DUN.

THE END

*blini is a Russian pancake dessert

*borscht is a Russian dish made of animal fat and beet juice

*in one Norse legend, Thor tried to catch Jormungandr, the Midgard serpent. Thankfully, his smarter best friend, Hymir, was with him, and cut the line, probably saving his foolish pal's butt.