Shrouded in darkness, the lump in his throat daring his eyes to sting with tears, Tom lay there in silence. The words of his father in law consuming his mind, threatening his sanity. He had broken the one promise he thought he could keep, to keep her safe, but he'd let her down…..
As she entered the room, using the sapphire moonlight to guide her towards the bed, she glanced at the broken man inside. On the outside she'd been calm, but inside she was scared. She wasn't scared for her safety, or the journey she'd had to make, but for her husband. To watch him so vulnerable and distant filled her with anguish that he might never recover. As she crawled inside the layers of bedding, her bump reaching him first, she placed her hand upon his face that gazed to the ceiling, not into her eyes like they used to do. She felt the stain of tears on his cheek, the much quicker rise and fall of his ribcage against her wrist. She felt him pull away, not daring to let her in, but Sybil was never one to give up on something or someone.
"Don't push me away Tom, please" she whispered into the night as her arm moved down to encircle his waist.
"You never should have been in that position, you never should have left here…with me….."
Even in his words Sybil knew he couldn't mean it, his voice barely recognisable, stammering what he thought she should hear.
Sybil pulled his face towards her, forcing the eye contact she dearly loved. "If you truly believe that, then maybe you don't know me at all" It could have sounded harsh but it didn't coming from her, the softness and affection in her voice made it tender and comforting. It even created the hint of a smile on her husband's lips, a small victory after tonight's adventures.
"…but you didn't sign up for this!" he replied, silently admitting to her that yes, he didn't mean his last words. As well as loving her, as proud as he claimed to be, he was selfish. Sybil could turn him away, her father could kick him out the front doors of Downton and he would still be there, waiting for her forever.
"Yes I did, I stood in front of all your family and I swore I would love you for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, till death do us part" Seeing her oldest sister marry and the pain that Edith had experienced at her almost wedding, Sybil was decided on her decision to marry Tom more than ever. It hadn't been easy, especially after tonight but Sybil had known that. She was a realist, her husband a revolutionary (A tame one at that) but together they made it work.
Feeling the tension lift from him Sybil dared to push further "Don't disappoint me Tom, not now that we're here" she'd said it with such a teasing tone in her voice that the absurdity was what made him crack. Soft giggles escaped their lips as memories of their first return to Downton filled their thoughts. Tom had asked for his wife's strength and now it was all that keep him alive.
He curled his arms around his wife, moving his body to face her and fit above her which was difficult in her condition. A smile now permanently on his lips as he gazed down into her eyes, his whole world beneath him. "Never forget that I'd do anything for you" he promised, sealed with a kiss to the forehead.
She looked up, welcoming her husband back, the person she had told her sister was a 'wonderful, wonderful, man'. "…and never forget that sometimes I'll ask…." Her smile fading as a sharp pain erupted through the lower half of her body. "…like now for instance…." She screamed.
Tom had left the night's troubles behind; they didn't exist behind these walls anymore. Sybil had been in control and kept him sane, but now they're roles reversed as Tom welcomed the opportunity to display his affect and protection for his wife. "What's happening?" Concern etched on his face.
Sybil, not so worried, replied with a smile "I think you're about to become a father" Tom's hands surrounding her face, crushing his lips on hers before he went to leave and call for Dr Clarkson. With his fingertips reaching the door he took one last look back at Sybil, her eyes smiling with excitement "I love you" he announced. Her reply a reflection of his declaration. Deep down he knew in that moment, he would never let her down again.