okay, so this is a one-shot side-story of grey eyes, my pre-harry potter fanfic. the main relationship here is sirius and my minor character oc, ellie. i don't really elaborate on the relationship between them two in grey eyes because, hell, the main character is cecilia for christ's sake. hence, the one-shot of them two. surprisingly, it's quite depressing in my opinion. nothing funny i can put in here really. all that set aside, enjoy.

It's twelve a.m. and two seconds on this day. This day that I sit here and ponder about the crap that changed my life. This day that I come out and isolate myself so I can just be alone with my thoughts of how much I miss her. This day that comes every year to remind me of the fact that my one and only first love still thinks I tried to kill her.

Which is bull crap.

It's twelve a.m. and forty-three seconds. Sure, it changed my life, kind of. Sure, I ponder about crap, but it's nothing much since I just zone out for most of the time. Sure, I isolate myself so I can be alone with my thoughts, but I'm only alone just because it's midnight and I'm sort of at the top of the Gryffindor Tower in half the dead of winter. Who the bloody hell would want to hang out with me here? Sure, I miss her. Well, she's still here, but not. I think about her all the time, but hell, I don't think she even remembers me. She probably tried to wipe me from her mind. Sure, she still thinks I tried to kill her.

Which is bull crap.

It's twelve oh one a.m. and thirty-nine seconds.

I quit staring at my watch and look out onto the grounds again thinking about why the hell I'm here. Oh yeah. It's that dumb ass tradition I got going that I can't seem to get rid of. Bloody troublesome really. I'm damn cold.

Thinking back, when I said that it kind of changed my life, I lied. That day changed it a lot. Hell, look at me now. I'm "the player of the century". I'm "Hogwarts' sexiest". I'm just… pretty lame. Honestly, if I was my eight year old self looking at me now, I'd probably gouge my eyes out and yell that it wasn't even half possible. Surprise, surprise, it was. To think that I used to be even remotely shy. Hah! That sounds like a huge joke now. If I was a joke, then April Fool's Day would be banned for excessive vulgarity. Which just about describes me now, and then…

"Hey, Sirius, you free today?" A girl walks up to me promptly touching me in, er, inappropriate places. Wait, wait. I know this one. Slytherin, 7th year, C-cup by the looks of it. What was her name again? Dammit, I suck at this.

"Yeah, I'm free all night. What's up, Annie?" I say stoically. That was that random-est guess I've made in days. Chances are, she's going to be so pissed at me for forgetting her name again that she'll actually pass down getting laid for slugging me or some crap like that. That would probably be half a good thing though, since despite all my flirting talents, getting in bed with a girl really ain't my thing. Still fun to spread around the school though. Makes great rumors.

She immediately ceases her touchy-feely attack to glare at me, "My name's Ally, Sirius." I can see her legs muscles tense as she prepares for kick me right in the groin.

Ally? LUCKY. I'm saved. I laugh heartedly, although it sounded damn nervous to me. "Er, yeah, that's what I said. You must've not heard it right over the, er, crowd," I say grinning, even though all the students were already in class when she approached me. That was a slip of the tongue. Lady Luck don't fail me now.

She smiles at me and wraps her arms around my neck once more. Okay, so I was half saved. Ally leans in close and whispers in my ear, "Then I'll see you in my room at midnight. You know how to get in right?" She giggles and then prances off.

I just stand there with shivers running down my spine. Damn, I hate it when random ex-girlfriends whisper in my ear. I shake my head a couple of times to get rid of the goose bumps, but snap out of it just as she's about to turn the corner and pull out my wand. "Obliviate!" I shoot the Memory Charm at her and then pocket my wand waiting. I smirk in half satisfaction and half relief at the sound of a slumping body. Like hell I was going to sleep with her.

Yeah. I wasn't exactly a good kid. Yeah, "kid". I was the player in my third freakin' year. Flirty in my second and getting to it in my first. Pretty odd for a boy just going through puberty, but I swear to God I had a reason. Hey, when you're a pretty sensitive guy that will never get over a girl even when she hates/doesn't know you, what else are you going to do to take your mind off it? Quidditch doesn't take much brain power and, hell, I hate Gobstones with a passion. If I'm lucky, I'll get at least a glance at her before I die. If she's lucky, I won't see her even in heaven. Wait… why the hell do both of these involve me dying?

I heave a sigh that could be heard for miles and slowly stand up on the wall of the tower that I was sitting on. It's a great place for cogitations, really. Well, if you're not acrophobic that is. I lean over slightly putting my hands on my knees looking at the rocky surface of the top of the wall. I guess it was time to go--

"You gonna jump?"

I nearly fall off at the sudden voice behind me. Apparently someone does want to hang out with me at midnight on the Gryffindor tower at half the dead of winter. I spin around to see a pretty brunette leaning against the wall at the opposite side with a book in her hands. I've seen her around school, but she's one of those rare girls that haven't approached me yet. And those… those are rare.

I'm about to say something when she pushes herself off the wall and takes a few steps closer to me. She snaps her book closed at looks up at me with clear eyes, "Didn't take you for the suicidal type with all your flirting, Sirius Black. Well, can't tell with you kids these days."

Kid? If I remember even an ounce of information about this chick, she's only a year older than me! No wait, suicidal? I'm not sui--oh, I'm still standing on the wall. I hop off and take a few steps towards her, "Oh yeah? Glad you know my name, cutie. What's yours?"

She just smiles at me, "Ellie. Ellie Fuerllton. Ravenclaw, Fifth year. And don't flirt with me. I know your game." Fifth year, huh? Pretty short for a fifteen year old. Wait… did I hear that right?

I look at her questionably, "You're a Ravenclaw? Then what're you doing here on top of the Gryffindor Tower?"

I could've sworn I see a tint of red in her cheeks before she composes herself to say, "Professor Sinistra lets me up here so I can study Saturn since you can see it best from this side of the castle."

Wow. Saturn, my sexy ass. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was because I come here like five times a week for a couple of minutes. Wait, it is. I edge a little closer to her smirking and slide my arms around her waist. I almost crack up at her face as it poofs to a bright red. "Well, that's funny. 'Cause just the other day, I could've sworn I passed you by the hallway hearing you mention how much you hate Astronomy."

She turns an even brighter red, if that was possible, and ducks out from my arms. "I'm not here for you!" Ellie yells defensively.

Bloody hell, she is so cute. I grab her hand before she can pounce away again and whisper grinning, "I beg to differ." Hey, Ellie wasn't her, but I could get to liking this girl for a while. She was a laugh, and damn, I need a good laugh.

Ellie ceases to struggle and instead, surprisingly, yells directly at my face, "YES, I LIKE YOU SO WHAT?!"

I gape at her.

She gapes at me.

We stand like that for a while. Well, not a while because at that very moment, she slaps a hand over her mouth in shock. I narrow my eyes at her and say slowly, "Did you just… confess to me?" I admit. That was actually my first confession from a girl. Other girls tend to just assume that they became my girlfriend, which would explain the reason why so many girls think I'm cheating on them. Hey, I didn't say anything, I swear.

Ellie just looks directly forward at my shirt, obviously avoiding my eyes. "Well, I wasn't supposed to. I mean, liking a guy younger than me? Who'd want anyone to know…"

She wasn't going to come to my school. Ever. And I'd never have a chance with her so… Ellie? Maybe. Why not…? I tilt her head up and look into her eyes, "Liking a girl older than me? Who would want anyone to know?"

Despite the circumstances, Ellie laughs. She grabs the collar of my shirt and slowly pulls me closer to her face. "Then kiss me, you player."

"'Hey, how's life at ho'--wait, that's too dumb. How about… 'I miss you'… Bloody hell, that was so corny. No. 'I bet you're learning a hell of a lot more than me right now.' Hmm. Yeah, that would work. Okay, next sentence. …Damn this is hard…"

"Whatcha doin'?"

"AGH!" I nearly fall off my chair and immediately cover the piece of parchment in front of me. I squint at the brunette standing behind me with her elbow propped up on my shoulder, "What're you doing up, Ellie? More importantly, what are you doing in the Gryffindor Common Room?" This was becoming daily. Ellie, why are you in my classroom? Ellie, what are you doing next to my shower? Ellie, how'd you get into the Gryffindor Quidditch locker room? Yeah, this girl was interesting alright.

She shrugs and kisses me full on the lips. Yeah, this was daily too. Not that I minded this as much as the popping up randomly thing. I break away slowly and pull her onto my lap, one hand still over the parchment on the my table. "I was bored and decided to see what you were up to." She lifts up my arm a couple of inches, "Who you writing to?"

I immediately slam my hand back on top of the letter and give her an overly innocent grin, "To you, duh!"

Ellie rolls her eyes and tries to lift my hand again only to fail utterly. Upon giving up altogether, she just folds her arms and pouts at me instead, "Why won't you tell me? And that's a stupid excuse! 'Cause if it was for me, I'd end up reading it anyway!"

Good point, Ellie. That is precisely why you're a Ravenclaw. "No, baby, it's uhh really mushy and romantic and if you read it here, I'd just be so embarrassed." I added in a kiss for emphasis, but from the evident pout still on her face, it didn't really work. Damn, acting like a cute, shy boyfriend works on every girl, but Ellie, and lucky me, she just happens to be my current girlfriend.

Ellie slides off my lap and stands in front of me with her arms folded. For once, she looks really serious. "It's for that girl you were going to jump for isn't it?" She says in a low voice. Dammit, this really is precisely why she's a Ravenclaw. Although she got some key points messed up.

I heave a great sigh, "Okay, Ellie, we've gone over this. I wasn't freakin' going to jump!" We really did go over this a million times. And despite my obvious happiness of life, Ellie still jokes about how I'm suicidal. Funny how that works, huh? "I was just thinking about all the crap that was going on--"

"While standing up? So you were going to jump."

"Yeah, I was going to jum--wait, no! Ellie!" I roll my eyes at her joke, even though I've told this to her a million times already and she's interrupted the same exact time. "I was going to turn around to jump off--"

"The tower."

"The wall, baby." I grab her around the waist and pull her back on my lap, "Damn, you are so annoying, I'm gonna shove you on that couch and do so many nasty things to y--" I pause for a moment in realization as I think back a couple of lines in our conversation. I stare down at her, "Wait a minute, were you--"

Ellie looks away with a sullen look on her face, "Yeah, I heard you," She mumbles, propping her elbow on her knee, "Not the whole thing, just bits and phrases and stuff. Evidently you thought you were thinking to yourself."

Huh. I didn't know I subconsciously thought out loud. Man, I learn new things about myself everyday. I look down into her hair and say in a low voice, "So, you heard about…"

"Yeah. The girl that you would never get over," Ellie looks into the fire with almost sad eyes. She's usually a pretty cheerful girl, so this kind of surprised me. Now, me on the other hand. Well, James, being my best friend, sure as hell, knows all about that crap.

I turn her around to face me properly and say, looking directly into her eyes, "Well, I'm with you now aren't I?"

Ellie looks away for a moment and then turns to me again, "I guess…"

"And I've been with you longer than any other girl, right?" I continue slowly.

Ellie opens her mouth hesitantly, as if she knew I had a point, but had to make hers as well. "Well, you're always writing those letter things to her or something, whatever you're doing. And you still went out to the tower on that day I confessed to you, and I know it's not because of our one year anniversary. And--"

I hug her abruptly to shut her up and say directly into her ear, "I'm with you now, Ellie. You're lucky we've lasted so long, baby. Just freakin' get that fact. Nothing ever happened between that girl and me and, hell, chances are, nothing ever will. I promise you that. Just stop freakin' out. That girl from that night… she's dead to me, okay?"

That was a lie.

"Ow! Sirius! Ow--stop pulling my arm! Sirius, that hurts!"

Ignoring her complaints, I continue pulling her across the grounds. I can't believe she said that. In front of everyone! Dammit. Dammit. The look on Cecilia's face. I can't believe she saw all of that. I was going to have a talk with this girl, and, hell, I was going to get it now. Far across the grounds, I stop abruptly and let go of Ellie's arm. I compose myself for a moment and then turn around to face her, "What was the point of that, Ellie?!"

Not even giving so much as a flinch to the volume of my voice, she just folds her arms and looks at me, "And you said nothing was ever going to happen between you and her."

I roll my eyes, "Yeah, well, I'm stuck in an engagement with her. What can I do?"

"You could deny it, or maybe even bring it up with your parents that you want to be with me!" Ellie yells at me, sounding almost desperate, "We were a pair! People thought we would get married!" Okay, she made that one up. People don't think I get married. Ever. But I really never thought Ellie would become one of those girls like Mia. Seems like I was wrong.

I just shake my head at her, "Well, you were the one who screamed at me for getting engaged in the first place, so I didn't exactly get a chance to get my parents to reverse it. Plus, you broke it off. Not me."

"But we were perfect for each other, Sirius! We rarely got into fights, and we just complimented each other so well! Please don't do this." Tears form in her eyes as she says these words. Bloody hell, now she's making me feel really bad.

Sighing, I put my arm around her shoulders and pull her in for hug. Not like ones a couple would give, more like a friend. I rest my chin on the top of her head and say in a low voice, "Ellie, mate, I'm really sorry. It was really sudden. Cecilia comes back, then the engagement, then you break it off with me, and then everyone's going mental over me and her. I like you. Really. But you're not…"

Ellie shoves away from me. "I'm not good enough for you?" She says defensively. Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, I'm trying to be nice here, and she's trying to have a row with me!

I put up my arms in a gesture of misunderstanding, "No, no, no, you're a great girlfriend, Ellie. I just--"

Ellie scoffs at me, "What, you actually like her or something? After all you said to me? After that whole act you're putting up to show that you actually hate her?" Huh. You want it like that? You really want it to be that way? Fine. And it's not an act, you fool.

I take a step back and just grin at her, shaking my head in almost disbelief at her reaction to my apology, and say that words that I never thought would spew out of my idiotic mouth, "Well, maybe I do like her, okay?!"

Ellie looks at me taken aback, but immediately regains her composure, "So is that how it is?" She starts stepping back towards the castle, "Well, fine. I just want you to know, Sirius Black, that I still love you! And I'm going to get you back from that girl! And show you she's just a third-rate new girl!"

I watch her retreating back for a few moments and then collapse onto the slightly wet grass. This is such a dilemma. That day, the letters, and now Ellie out to get me just for being with Cecilia in any way, shape, or form. Someone up there was against this. Was this a sign, or some crap like that? Cecilia Vance. Maybe, this wasn't really meant to be.

But that doesn't mean these feelings will go away.

so, how was it? did it suck balls? was it awesome? want more one-shots? THAT'S GREAT. tell me in a review.

also, if you didn't get this at all, go read grey eyes, review that, and come back to this. i referenced my other story a lot in this. and if you already read grey eyes and don't understand it, hell, i don't get it either, so don't feel alone.

i better find as many reviews as i find hits. or else... i'll be mildly frustrated.

eight.dimensions