My first attempt at a oneshot, also my first attempt at a fic of any kind not concerning an OC of mine. I have never tried first person before, nor expressing feelings as a character made by someone else. This is a bit of experimentation. If people don't like it, I won't write in this style anymore. If people do, I'll continue. So please review, or at least favourite or something.
Personally, I think it kind of…well, sucks, to be honest. But whatever.
Eheh, almost forgot the disclaimer...
Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club or anything else that might be referred to in the following fanfic.
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"Hikaru"
I wonder what I wouldn't give to hear Kaoru say my name like that and mean it. Sure, our customers believe it, but I can see right through. It's just a tangled web of lies and falsehood built up over our 'brotherly love'.
To set up our 'plays', we tease each other relentlessly. And despite the fact that I know he never means it, his words still sting. I do my best to conceal the hurt, make sure no one notices.
The Lord and the others don't realise. No one does. Not even Haruhi, the most observant of us all, except for Kyoya. Sometimes I wonder if Kaoru sees. I wonder if he notices the expression of hurt that crosses my face for just an instant.
However, Kaoru will never love me. He, along with the Lord, is too busy fawning over Haruhi. And she, the centre of their affection, remains oblivious. Many times I have wished that Kaoru would look at me like he looks at her.
Sometimes I feel like crying, like screaming and punching and somehow venting my frustration. Why can't Kaoru see? But I don't show anything. I keep on pretending.
Because isn't that what hosts do best?
Pretend?