Disclaimer: I do not own CCS.
Our Happiness
By Loli Shota
Under the early morning skies, humanity and nature stood at a standstill, hung in the sweet equilibrium of night and day. In the suburbs of London, all was quiet, tranquil and in most households, all still laid asleep. The tall Victorian mansion standing at the top of a hill, slightly retreated from town, was no exception to the rule. In the night, the old-fashioned house was dark and eerily silent.
In the main bedroom of the house, two men laid, sleeping peacefully under a single layer of thin white bed sheets. The two men seemed fairly young in age. The first, dark haired with pale skin, held the second, chestnut haired with East Asian features by the back in a loose embrace. Wearing only pyjama bottoms, the chestnut haired man sighed in his sleep, nestled deep in the other man's arms and indulging in the warmth and safety of the soft embrace.
Somewhere in the darkness, the sudden sound of a ringing telephone was heard. At the bedside, a small alarm clock read 3:45 am. The phone rang long and hard before falling silent. However, not standing being ignored, it then rang again, this time seemingly louder. The Asian man's eyes finally fluttered open. Eyelids heavy with sleep, he yawned silently. He plopped his body up on his elbows and, tossing the sheets away, slowly slid away from his partner's hold. The dark haired man tightened his grip, holding the other back.
"I know you like to wake up early love, but this is ridiculous." he whispered as he slid delicate arms around his partner's naked chest. He nuzzled the nape of his lover's neck.
"Have you already grown so senile that you can't hear the phone ringing old man?" grunted the other man. His lean muscular body stretched in a slow, sloppy motion.
"Ignore it." The dark haired man landed a soft kiss at the nape of his lover's neck.
"Hmm mh. You're unexpectedly lazy. If I always listened to you, we'd never get out of bed."
"Ignore it." his kisses trailed down the other man's spine, he shuddered.
"E. Ri. Ol. Let go. This could be important."
"Ignore it." Eriol kissed Syaoran's lower back.
"Stop it, Eriol— Oi! Where are you touching?" Eriol's hand was caressing Syaoran's hip and was already dangerously close to his crotch area. Syaoran nervously slapped Eriol's hand away.
"Touchy-feely as usual aren't you?" He stared back at the dark mage with a look of mild discomfort.
"Do you dislike that?" Eriol whispered as he followed Syaoran's shoulder blade of his lips.
"Not... Particularly..." 'But it always leads to something else.'
"Well, me neither. Though I wouldn't mind it leading to something else." Eriol smiled, as thought reading Syaoran's mind.
"You pervy old man. Is that all you ever think about?" Syaoran threw his legs over the side of the bed and sat at the edge. Futile attempt as Eriol violently pulled him back onto the bed. He let out a small yelp when Eriol pinned him down by the wrists and climbed on top of him. Syaoran threw the dark mage a bored look and huffed lightly in frustration.
"Now, look here—"
Before the chestnut haired man could finish his sentence, Eriol silenced him with the soft kiss he planted on his lips. After a long moment, Eriol finally pulled away. He smirked at his partner, dark eyes gleaming with malevolence. Syaoran's face flushed with embarrassment despite his attempts not to let emotions show.
This was going to be a battle of will.
"... Eriol, no..."
"..."
"... I said no..."
"..."
"...Don't."
"..."
Syaoran finally threw his head back to avoid his lover's stare. He could feel the colour creep to his cheek. Despite it all, he couldn't help feeling shamelessly excited by the whole situation, but the rugged excitement he felt towards Eriol couldn't overcome the silent anguish that crept under his skin.
"Eriol. I mean it; we can't do this now, not tonight." His voice quivered ever slightly.
"Hmm? And why is that?" Eriol raised a brow.
"It's four am and I'm really very tired." he replied a bit too quickly.
"Oh really now? It seems you're always very tired when it comes to this."
Syaoran's eyes widened slightly and he frowned at the comment.
"Shut up. I really am tired..."
Eriol smiled down at his lover. Of course, today again, he would let it go. It was not every day one could see Li Syaoran, heir of the notorious Li clan of China, in such a state of submission. Eriol sank his face in the space between his lover's neck and shoulder. He was the only one who ever got to see Syaoran this way, and that, more than anything, was his happiness. The rest didn't really matter or it would come later, with time.
"Then let us stay like this." he whispered against the skin. Under him, he felt Syaoran's chest fall in something that seemed to be relief.
"...What about the phone?" Syaoran asked while he stroked the back of Eriol's head with unknown tenderness. At the same moment, the phone stopped ringing.
"What phone?" Eriol smiled his usual smile and playfully nibbled Syaoran's neck, "...I love you." he whispered silently.
In the darkness, Syaoran blushed deeply, "Shut up... I know that already."
For an instant, Eriol's smile shrunk ever slightly, but soon returned to normal. The quick change was barely perceptible.
"Right..." he let out a short breathy laugh and leaned in for a kiss.
The phone beeped, signalling its going on voicemail.
" Xiao Lang, it's your mother—'" Eriol froze and felt Syaoran's body tense under him, "I understand you are out in England learning from Clow-sama, but it has already been almost two weeks and though I hate to interrupt your studies, I am afraid your presence is already more than require back home. The elders—or rather the entire clan—await your return with great impatience. Much is needed to be done upon your arrival so please do not delay your return any further than you already have. Anyhow, I expect to be hearing from you soon. Until then, farewell."
With the soft click of a phone being hung up, the room was left in utmost silence. For long, Syaoran and Eriol remained locked in the same position, knowing that the instant one of them was to move, the instant the moment would be lost and reality would finally sink back in.
Syaoran broke the uneasy silence with a small, nervous laugh.
"Duty calls." He smiled sadly at the man still pinning him down.
"Just... Just one more minute." Eriol whispered as his dropped his head to Syaoran's smooth chest.
"Eriol... I have to go." Syaoran murmured after a brief moment of silence. Eriol sighed and released the brunet by shifting to the side. Syaoran slowly walked out of bed grabbing his cell phone by the night table. After a quick dial, he was already on the line with the airport, booking his flight back to Hong Kong.
Despite the darkness, Syaoran paced around the room and by force of habit, easily gathered his belongings that lay scattered around the room. All the while, Eriol stared at the scene, unmoving. He sat in bed with his back resting on the headboard. Syaoran shoved the last of his things in a small carry-on luggage, save a pair of pants and a dress shirt, and hung up the phone.
"I'll try to catch an early flight back to Hong Kong. If mother called at this hour, it must have been urgent." he mumbled and threw his phone on the bed. Scratching the back of his head, he lazily got up and headed to the bathroom adjacent to the bedroom.
The door closed behind him and just moments later, Eriol could hear the sound of the shower running. He sunk back into the bed and under the covers. Lying on his back and, arms crossed over the sheets, he simply stared at the dark ceiling.
Bittersweet moments like these he hated, but always endured without letting anything on. Because he loved him more than anything.
When he heard the sound of the shower turn off, Eriol closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.
The bathroom door soon opened, revealing a clean, fully dressed young man. Syaoran sat on his side of the bed, his back to Eriol.
"... I know I told you I would be able to stay longer this time, but there's really nothing I can do. I don't know how long it'll take this time... I'll be back as soon as I can." he whispered to the silent room.
"..."
"... Are you angry?"
Eriol smiled with sadness. Syaoran had his back to him and it was dark, so Eriol knew he wouldn't see.
"Asleep already?" Syaoran laughed nervously despite knowing fully well that it was not the case. Hearing no response, Syaoran suddenly stood and grabbing his luggage qnd cell phone, walked to the door, "I'll call you when I get there". He quickly exited the room, without looking back.
As the door shut close, Eriol's eyes snapped open. Syaoran would come back soon enough, and then it would be just the two of them again and everything would be fine. This was part of the deal, wasn't it? And though things didn't always go as planned, this was fine. They were happy. He was happy. Really... Right?
At dawn of the very same day, all rose and shined around the town of London. When the first rays of sun shone through the tall windows of the mansion's dining room, Eriol was already in his big armchair sipping a cup of English tea and reading the newspaper. Soon, a sleepy looking Nakuru, still in her PJs, and Spinel appeared from the top of the stairs.
" Mornniiiinnn'" yawned Nakuru while rubbing sleep out of her eyes.
"Good Morning Eriol-sama." Spinel settled on the chair's armrest.
"Good morning to you both."Eriol smiled at his guardians.
"What's for breakfast? I'm sttarrviinnggg." groaned Nakuru, before noticing the empty dining table "Eh? Where's breakfast? Is the brat slacking off or something?"
"It isn't very like him to sleep in, isn't it?" noted Spinel as he turned his attention to his master's face.
"HEEYYY! Kiiddd! Where's my breakfast?" Nakuru shouted up the stairs.
"Syaoran isn't here." Eriol took a sip from his cup and flipped a page to his newspaper. Both guardians fell silent and Nakuru sent her master a worried look.
"There's no need for such concern." Eriol smiled and set down his cup, "He returned home on an early flight after receiving an urgent call from his mother this morning. No big deal, really. Your breakfast is in the kitchen. It seems you will have to settle with my cooking for the time being." Eriol folded his newspaper and set it down on the table.
"He left...? B—But tomorrow was supposed to be your three year anniversary! That little prick!" Nakuru interjected, fists raised. Eriol only laughed at her zeal.
"It doesn't matter. I am not a woman to fuss over a date on the calendar. Anyhow, it is unlikely that he remembers at all. He certainly has other more important things on his mind." Eriol stared into the cup resting between his hands.
"But Eriol-sama had a whole celebration planned out..." Nakuru let her hands fall to the side.
"Oh shush now, I said it doesn't matter. This is something that cannot be helped. I could never let myself come between his family or his duty." Eriol frowned, "And I was fully prepared for this coming into this relationship." dissatisfied, Nakuru sneered and pouted, crossing her arms to her chest.
"Eriol-sama should be more selfish, or he will never find happiness." she said in a sing-song tone of voice.
Eriol smiled at the comment, "This is already more than I could ever have wished for. Selfishness would only bring me misfortune. Besides, secrecy brings intimacy, briefness brings passion. This is fine, this is my happiness." he said as he took another sip from his cup.
Spinel's eyes narrowed at the comment.
"Did you guys at least do it yet?!" shouted Nakuru in exasperation.
Eriol choked slightly in his cup. How in hell could she know they didn't...?
"We'll take that as a no." she nodded, "Well, I figured as much when everything went quiet around 10p.m, but I thought that was because you had finally figured out I was listening against the wall." She casually said with a shrug. Eriol cleared his throat and made a mental note to soundproof his room.
"But really Eriol-sama," Nakuru stare with serious round eyes, "Isn't this kind of bad? It's been three years already and still no sex!"
"Well, all in good time, all in good time." Eriol laughed nervously as he shooed the pesky guardian to the kitchen.
When Nakuru disappeared in the kitchen, Spinel flew to the table, facing his master.
"You are a terrible liar."
"Whatever do you mean?" Eriol quietly unfolded his newspaper.
"A little honesty wouldn't kill you, something is preoccupying you. You always drink your tea like this is in the big armchair when something is bothering you."
Eriol raised a brow at his guardian, "I drink tea every morning Spinel."
"Not like this, you don't." Eriol had a short laugh.
"Everything is fine, if you must know. This is just the way things are."
Spinel stared at his master drink tea, "... I wonder how long you can keep this up before it breaks."
Eriol set his cup down and eyed Spinel, "And what may 'it' be?"
"Your false serenity and foolish restraint." Eriol smiled, "When the time comes, I will not nurse your broken heart, Eriol-sama." Spinel called back to his master before disappearing through the kitchen door.
Eriol took the cup to his lips, but set it down without taking a sip. Tight lipped and thoughtful, he stared down at the brown liquid wavering in his cup.
Hours later, back at the Li mansion, Syaoran was just settling in his room. Leaving his luggage by the bed, he carelessly collapsed on the mattress. Exhausted by the lengthy trip, he remained, limp and lifeless, blankly staring at the ceiling. Only a few years back, if one had claimed he of all people would end up in a long term relationship with Hiiragizawa Eriol, that one would have received a tremendous smack down. Syaoran rolled to the side. But it had already been almost three years since he had gotten with Eriol. Three years of coming and going to and from England and Hong Kong, three years of always leaving in the middle of everything. Three years of bliss and happiness. Partial, brief, furtive but happiness nonetheless.
Syaoran sighed. It was supposed to be their three year anniversary tomorrow. He eyed the phone at the bedside and contemplated picking it up. He had to give Eriol a call, but what would he say? If his duty hadn't, once again, come in the way, they would have celebrated with a delicious homemade diner, a good wine and an evening curled up on the couch watching old movies. Then, at night... Syaoran felt his cheeks grown warm at the thought, but his eyes soon blazed with determination, 'I would have done it for sure!... Probably... Somehow...'
Three years was a long time to go without sex... Syaoran violently rubbed his head.
There was a short knock at the door. Syaoran shot up to come face to face with Meiling, looking sharp in gray tailored suit and leaning in the doorway file in hand.
"Sorry to interrupt your... moment of insanity, but welcome back." she smirked.
"Mh, yeah." Meiling's eyes narrowed at her cousin, "What?" he snapped.
She tapped the base of her neck, "Nice...Hickey you got there". Syaoran blushed crimson and clamped a hand to his neck. He glared her a 'Shut up' and readjusted his collar to hide the love bite.
"Hey, better me telling you this than aunt Yelan. Don't want her thinking you've got some floozy waiting for you every time you go to England" Meiling teased with a short laugh, "Well? How was it?" Meiling asked, eyes wide with curiosity as she plopped on the bed, near her cousin.
"What do you mean how was it? Same as usual. Why are you so interested anyway?" Syaoran fell on his back.
"Well, it's not in every lifetime that my favourite cousin gets, suddenly and cruelly, rejected by the love of his life, rival to whom I had surrendered and entrusted my love for him nonetheless," a vein popped on the girl's forehead, "and then, that totally out of the blue he becomes gay and goes to London to get together with the reincarnation of his ancestor. So, mind me if I'd like to know what's going on in that little head of yours." she nodded, arms crossed to the chest.
"I am not gay," Syaoran stated scornfully, Meiling raised a brow "I just like Eriol." It was different, it really was. "Anyway, let's not go there today."
"So?? Did you guys finally─" Meiling started cheerfully.
"No." Syaoran replied sternly, cutting her off mid-sentence.
Meiling briefly stared at her cousin, but knowing when to back off, she quickly changed the subject, "Well, you'll tell me aaaaaall about it next time because now that you're done playing hooky, we've got major work to do."
Syaoran groaned lightly, "How bad is it?" he finally asked.
"Well, let's see," Meiling pulled out her work tablet and flipped through the pages, "It's enough to keep you busy for a while. We've got a couple of creditors rumoured to be backing out of the new construction project in Taiwan, if we don't convince them to stay on, Li corp. could be in big trouble. There's that stupid west branch CEO ─ cousin Cheng, remember him?─ who was arrested for child pornography. Ugh, can you believe that guy? A married man, father of two nonetheless. We have to hold a press conference regarding the matter very soon because media is all over this. Also, for some obscure reason, there's tension going on between two minor magical clans downtown, if we want to avoid some kind of violent conflict we have to mediate fast. There's also... Hm... Well..." hesitant, Meiling stared at the sheet of paper before her. Syaoran turned his head to the side to look at his cousin slash secretary.
"What is it?" he sent her an inquisitive look.
"Well, hmm... It's…"
"Yes?" Syaoran sat up.
"I think I'll let aunt Yelan tell you about this—"
"Meiling, tell me."
"Well here." Meiling finally briskly handed a couple of papers to her cousin beside her. Syaoran cautiously took the papers from Meiling's hands, all the while sending apprehensive looks her way.
"What is this?" Syaoran scanned the documents with a frown.
"Marriage proposals. Chosen by your mother. She selected a few candidates she thought you might like and prompts you to choose one by next week." Meiling nervously bit the nail on her thumb as Syaoran slowly shot her a weary look.
"..."
"I mean, it's already been five years since Sakura's wedding and everybody thinks that you are still hung up over her, and that it's unhealthy, and that you are already way past marriage age and aren't getting any younger, and so, you know, the elders and a lot of people in the clan are getting a bit, hum, anxious and impatient for a successor..." Meiling rambled on.
Syaoran bit his lip. He knew a day like this would come eventually, but it came sooner than he had expected. It was too soon. In fact, much too soon.
"... You're going to have to tell her about you two you know..." said Meiling who had been silent for a while as Syaoran lost himself in his thoughts.
"Why didn't you try reasoning with her?" Syaoran snapped accusingly, swiftly avoiding the tender topic.
"What is that? You know your mother as well as I do. When she has made up her mind about something, there is no reasoning with her."
"Well, couldn't you make up a lie or some excuse to get me out of this?" he threw the papers on the bed.
"I tried, ok, but she had a pretty valid point. You need to get married and to have children, it's part of your responsibility as head of the clan, and frankly speaking, I don't see that happening as long as you're seeing a man." Meiling glared, "Who are you kidding Syaoran? This relationship is going nowhere and you and I both know it." She shot back bitterly.
Ouch, "You're wrong. You don't know that." Syaoran lowered his head, "You don't know that..."
Meiling sighed, "You're right, you're right, I'm sorry. But I'm on your side Syaoran. I just want you to be happy." She let her head fall to her cousin's shoulder.
"...Meiling can't get married." Syaoran blankly stared at his hands, "... I'm in love with him, so I just can't..."
Meiling eyed her cousin from the corner of her eye. Syaoran had never said anything like this about anybody, not even Sakura, out loud before. She sighed, "Don't you think I know that? ...Fine, I'll talk to your mother... I'll convince her somehow, but you know you're going to have to talk to her eventually." Meiling began gathering the papers spread on the bed.
Syaoran frowned at the thought.
"Now, let's just forget about this for now, ok? Just go take a shower and get ready to leave, despite everything, you still have work to do." said Meiling as she switched back to secretary mode. When her pants started ringing, she walked out of the room to take the call. Syaoran slowly rose.
On the table, the telephone remain would untouched.
Syaoran sat alone at the large veranda facing the backyard of the Li mansion. Laptop resting on his lap, his busy fingers frantically hit the keyboard. The quick clicking sounds abruptly quiet as Syaoran fingers stopped in motion. In Syaoran's eyes, the screen suddenly became blurred and double. He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples.
'I guess I'll take a short break' he thought as he dropped to his back and shut his eyes. It was a sunny afternoon and Syaoran could feel soft sunlight warm against his skin. A dry breeze fluttered by, lifting a few strands of hair from his bangs. Syaoran sighed and slowly opened his eyes. Though he felt positively exhausted, somehow his body simply refused to rest. Insomnia was hitting him hard, as it always did when he wasn't sleeping in Eriol's bed.
Syaoran let his mind wander. He calmly stared at the noisy wind chimes dancing near the ceiling.
It had already been well over a week and so far, he had constantly been putting off calling Eriol.
'He's probably frustrated with me... Who wouldn't be? I've given him enough reasons to be… And not being able to put out after three years really can't be good either, right? Well it's not like I don't want to... It's just...' Syaoran violently scratched his head, 'Ugh. I'm starting to sound like a teenage girl.'
Syaoran eyed the laptop sleeping on his lap. Since his return, he had hardly had a minute to himself. This was one of the very few alone times he had managed to salvage. He swallowed hard 'I might as well make the most of this rare moment' he thought as he opened a window to a search engine. He looked around, no one in sight, and then carefully eyed the screen. In the search query, the cursor was blinking. After a long moment of hesitation, Syaoran finally let his fingers move. In the little white case, he typed: gay sex.
As a multitude of result ensued, Syaoran leaned towards the screen, eyes narrow in concentration. He slowly scrolled down the page, 'Let's see...'
"What are you doing?" Meiling peered over his shoulder.
Syaoran jumped, nearly dropping the computer to the floor.
"N—N—N—Nothing!" he stammered, beet red. Nervous fingers left clicked frantically in a desperate attempt to close the window. But Meiling had already seen. She stared at her cousin in disbelief.
"You... It couldn't be...." she whispered. Syaoran could only stare in horror as he felt the blood rush to his cheeks. "That the reason you haven't done anything so far is because... You don't know how?"
Syaoran could surely feel steam coming out of his ears.
"Are you kidding me?" Meiling smacked herself on the forehead, "I mean, what, do you live in a box? Or are you a total virgin?"
"S—Shut up!" Syaoran barked to his cousin, "It's not that I don't know how... It's just that I'm... No good... At it..." he mumbled, head progressively lowering in embarrassment.
"Ah, well, it's true that you haven't had much experience and you know, my dear cousin, when comes to sex, practice makes perfect." She nodded firmly.
"Since when are you the expert on the matter?" Syaoran frowned and muttered under his breath.
"Since I've had more than you." Meiling replied casually, Syaoran clasped hands to his ears, "Oh please!" she rolled her eyes, "I'm merely stating the obvious here. You really have to stop being so chaste. I mean, you're a grown man after all. Nobody will pull your ear for sleeping around, and the benefits of having a boyfriend who lives on different continent altogether is that you can never get caught." She said with an evil smile that said it all, "Might as well make the most of all these opportunities don't you think?" Syaoran only mumbled under his breath.
"But it's still pretty embarrassing for a man your age to be so ignorant." Meiling let out another deep sigh, "I really pity Hiiragizawa. Having a useless boyfriend like you is just too much." Hands on her hips, Meiling sent Syaoran a defeated look, "Well, I guess it can't be helped. Follow me." she said as she walked out of the room.
"W—where are we going?" Syaoran asked as he shuffled to his feet.
"To learn." he heard Meiling call out from the hallway
Syaoran suddenly became livid, "Wh—Wha...? I hope you're not thinking..." he swallowed nervously. The prospect of him doing shameful, unholy things with Meiling of all people was more than positively horrifying.
Meiling's head peered inside the room, "That's disgusting Syaoran. Besides, who'd want to have sex with a gay man? That's just no fun." She called as she disappeared back into the hallway.
"I'm not gay!" Syaoran shouted to his cousin before following her into the hallway.
"Hm-Right, right. But it's still no."
On the veranda, as the breeze blew past the wind chimes, Syaoran's laptop switched off to sleeping mode.
The large study of the manor was a bit messier than usual. Here and there, a few books had been removed from the tall bookshelves and had either not been replaced or had been carelessly misplaced. Eriol sat, at the center of the room, in his big armchair with a book in hand like the lone survivor to a small tornado.
The door to Eriol's study violently slammed opened, punched by an overexcited Nakuru.
"Eriol-samaaaaa!" she shouted in wild greetings.
Eriol looked up from the book he was so skilfully pretending to read and sent his guardian the usual smile.
"Yes?" he calmly closed the large book and laid it on his lap.
"Spinel and I are going to the grocery store to buy more chocolate, won't you come with? You've been cooped up inside for the past, like, 200 days!!" the sugar rushed Nakuru threw her hands up in exaggeration.
"As much as I hate it, I'll have to agree with the monkey, Eriol-sama. You've hardly ever come out of your study recently. Don't you think a little fresh air would do you good?" said Spinel, who appeared from behind Nakuru.
Nakuru nodded firmly before tilting her head in realization, "Now look here you rat," she bore fangs at her fellow guardian.
Eriol had a short laugh, "Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine. You guys just go ahead, I really can't seem to tear myself from this book."
Nakuru frowned lightly, but finally shrugged and exited the room as loudly as she had come in, skipping and singing like a mad thing.
Spinel watched in silence as his master slowly returned to the book sitting on his lap and calmly read the same sentence over and over again. Every now and again, he would sit back, sigh and eye the phone that stood on a small table right next to him and well in his reach.
"...Or the phone for that matters." Spinel finally whispered but loud enough for Eriol to hear.
With a quiet laugh, Eriol's gaze turned to his guardian, "Hm?" he said faking innocence.
"Please do not insult my intelligence Eriol-sama, you are fooling no one." Spinel flew to the table and sat there paws crossed. Eriol watched his guardian move.
He sighed, removing his glasses; he rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Well, I guess nothing escapes your sharp eye Spinel."
"No exceptional skills are required to see through your stratagem Eriol-sama. You're being so obvious I wouldn't be surprised if even monkey there noticed." Spinel nodded towards the door through which Nakuru had previously disappeared.
Eriol turned his gaze towards the ceiling and smiled sadly, "Waiting by the phone like a love struck teenage girl, pathetic isn't it?"
"I'm afraid I wouldn't know," Spinel shrugged, "but instead of waiting by the phone like a pathetic love struck teenage girl, maybe you should just call him? But that's just a thought." Spinel flew away towards the door.
Eriol frowned "And there you said you wouldn't know..." he whispered, but silently considered the option as he stared at the quiet telephone.
Sitting on the edge of his bed, Syaoran fidgeted quietly. Meiling was crouched in front of him, frowning in concentration as she scribbled on the hardwood floor with white chalk. Syaoran stared, completely restless.
"I don't think this is such a good idea. Why are we even here? And what are you scribbling on the floor? I really don't think mother would approve of your writing on her floors." he rambled, but no immediate reply came from the other party, "Meiling, hey, are you listening? "
"Shhh!" the girl snapped in irritation, "Quit your whining! Can't you see I'm trying to focus here?" She scribbled a few more Chinese looking symbols, "Annnd... I'm done." Beaming with pride, she stepped back to admire her work.
Syaoran stood next to his cousin and eyed the odd drawing, perplex, " Great... What is this anyway?"
The drawing represented a large circle. A number of ancient looking symbols decorated its margins and in its center, a large fancy design occupied most of the space. The whole thing seemed vaguely familiar.
"It's a summoning circle of course." Meiling's chest swelled with pride, "I may not have magic, but I've spent a great deal of time studying theory to make up for it. This circle is perfect! With this, you can summon anything you want with top accuracy and precision." She beamed at her cousin.
Syaoran still looked confused, "Ok... So...?"
Meiling sighed in exasperation, "Just shut your eyes, think about the thing that will help you out the most and follow my lead."
"The thing that will help me out the most? And how the hell do I know what that is?" Syaoran blushed at the dark haired girl.
"Well I don't know! A magazine? Some famous gay AV star?" Meiling smirked at her cousin, "Toys?" she said as she watch him turn into a human tomato. "Anyway, just think about what you want most right now and do your best. Right? What you want most..." Meiling sent her cousin a piercing look. Syaoran only looked back at her looking completely blank. She cleared he throat, "Yes, so repeat after me."
Syaoran shifted nervously, but finally slowly closed his eyes. Something to help? What the hell should he know? Well... There was that magazine he hadn't had the guts to buy at the bookstore last time, but what would he do with it? What he needed was practical experience. Following Meiling's lead, Syaoran mumbled the first words of the incantation. The circle at the center of the room began to glow.
Some famous gay AV star? Syaoran winced at the thought. He wasn't gay, and the thought of doing things with a man other than Eriol was simply repulsive. And the toys... Syaoran felt his cheeks grow warm at the thought. Meiling, who was staring at her cousin from the corner of her eye, smirked. Syaoran shook his head violently and sighed. Maybe this was totally hopeless. Maybe he would remain forever clueless and Eriol would dump him for being so goddamn useless at sex. Or maybe he should just summon some food, all this thinking had made him a little hungry.
In the final stage of the incantation, the summoning circle began emanating a deep white light. Somehow, Syaoran began craving for curry rice... Syaoran smiled at the thought. One day when he had arrived from Hong Kong in the middle of the night, he had dropped dead, exhausted, for about 12 hours and had woken up to the curry rice breakfast— or more like diner— in bed that Eriol had cooked for him. 'Eriol…' Syaoran pronounced the last words to the incantation.
Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew, sending light objects flying here and there across the room. Syaoran shielded his eyes with his forearm. Squinting to see, he stared into the blaring whirlwind where something was beginning to take shape.
Before he knew it, the wind had died and Syaoran was standing in front of an all too familiar face.
"E-Eriol?" he blinked stupidly at the man standing at the center of the circle.
"Ggggoddddd!" Meiling gushed, rolling her eyes before smirking at the chestnut haired man who had turned his gaze to her. "I really thought you would summon the toys or something. Glad to see even you can take a hint." She patted her cousin's shoulder in approval.
"B-But how can that be?" he gaped at his cousin.
"I told you I was good." She beamed, before furrowing her brows, "—But what I'd like to know is why he's holding a plate of curry rice..."
"Is that really..." Syaoran turned to the other man.
"Well of course not. I already told you this is a summoning circle, not some teleportation device. This," Meiling slid an arm around Eriol's shoulder, "Is only a cheap replica, but everything is at the right place." She winked. "Technically, it can't speak, but should have all of the original's personality. Now you have the perfect practice partner!" She beamed at her cousin.
"Wh...Whaa?!?" Syaoran took a wide step back, "You don't expect me to— I'm not going to— I-I can't just—" his face was taking every shade of red.
Meiling huffed, "I figured you would say something like that." She leaned against the clone and whispered something in its ear. After a brief instant, it smiled and nodded.
"Well, I guess I'll leave you two at it then." Meiling grabbed the plate of curry from Eriol and made way towards the exit, "The house is empty so take your time. I'll be down the hall watching a movie with the earphones on so please feel free to be as loud as you want." She gestured at Syaoran.
"What? Wait!" Syaoran exclaimed in horror as Meiling stepped out of the room closing the door behind her. Syaoran leaped to the door, but only to hear the sound of it being locked from the outside.
"M-Meiling!" he gasped in despair, banging fists on the door and frantically jiggling the handle, but he could already hear the sound of Meiling's footsteps echoing further and further away from the door.
Suddenly, Syaoran felt warm breath trickle down his neck and hands sliding around his waist. He yelped in shock and turned around, back tight against the door. Eriol's clone looked down at him and quietly moved its body closed to Syaoran's, sliding a slender arm across Syaoran's lower back. Despite him, Syaoran trembled lightly at the touch. The clone smiled at Syaoran's blushing face and slid two fingers around his chin. Syaoran wanted to run, but his knees had already turned to mush. The clone softly landed a tender kiss on Syaoran's lips.
'This isn't right, this isn't Eriol. I can't. I can't...' but despite it all, Syaoran felt his body heat up. The feel on his lips, the taste in his mouth, even the soft scent that tingled his nostrils—everything— was Eriol's. He wanted to pull away, but his body could only react differently to the familiar touch. As he stood face to face with his lover's replica, he could only cave in. He sank deeper into the kiss and felt his hands rise to clutch the back of the clone's shirt.
Before he knew it, Syaoran was laying on the bed, with the clone on top of him as it skilfully undid his belt buckle. Syaoran gasped as a cold hand slid across his muscular stomach. Eyes shut, he drowned in a sea familiar sensations and caresses. What harm could it do to indulge just a little? It didn't take much imagination to pretend this was the real Eriol. The clone's hand was now sliding downward, dangerously close to a very sensitive area. Syaoran held his breath, bracing himself for contact. He was so lost in the moment that the ringing of the telephone came as a distant, dreamlike echo of a sound. Finally almost snapping back to reality, Syaoran patted the nearby nightstand until his hand finally reached the phone. He tore his mouth from the clone's to answer.
"H-hello?" he gasped, his voice sounded foggier and raspier than intended. The clone was nibbling down Syaoran's neck, the same way Eriol always did. Syaoran couldn't help, but let a soft moan escape.
"Hello? Syaoran?" Eriol's voice resonated in the receiver. It was enough to have Syaoran snap back to reality. He sat up abruptly.
"E-Eriol?" Syaoran couldn't hide the distress in his voice.
"Yes, it's me. Is something wrong?" Syaoran could almost see Eriol frowning on the other side.
"N-No, I mean, yes! A-ah—" Syaoran clamped both hands to his mouth in an attempt to muffle the sounds escaping from his mouth. The clone's hand had reached its target.
"What was that?"
"N-Nothing!" Syaoran's voice cracked and hit a pitch higher than one would have ever thought it could, "A-ah, s-stop..." he helplessly tried to shove off the attacking clone.
"Stop what? Syaoran, what's going on?"
"Nothing! I'm sorry... It's nothing... C-can I just... C-call you back...?"
"... Sure, but I wanted to—"
"I'm sorry! I'll call you right back, I just have to— I'll call you right back!" He quickly said before hanging up just as fast.
Eriol held the receiver off his ear. He could hear the high dead tone from here. Finally, he sighed and replaced it on its base. If he hadn't known any better, he could have sworn he'd just heard his lover moaning from pleasure... that he wasn't the one inflicting.
Eriol sat back in his chair and drummed her fingers on the armrest. This wasn't good. Though he usually was a rather calm individual, his patience was beginning to grow thin. In its current state of restlessness, Eriol's mind was racing towards things he would rather not think about. Soon, the ringing of the phone snapped Eriol out of his daydream. He didn't let it ring twice.
"Hello?"
"Eriol! Sorry! I was just in the middle of something, but it's all taken care of now... " Syaoran said nervously as he eyed the grinning clone, tightly bound in a corner of the room.
"..."
"Eriol?" Syaoran's voice shone with concern.
"Of what?" Eriol asked calmly, but he could already hear the quiet sound his false serenity and foolish restraint, breaking.
"...What?"
"In the middle of what? You said you were in the middle of something and I asked in the middle of what." Eriol replied in a tone that surprised even himself. He frowned, 'Stop' He thought to himself. Never had he talked to Syaoran in such childish, foolish way. Jealousy truly was an ugly thing.
Visibly taken aback, Syaoran took a moment to answer. The seconds spent in silence were tense and seemed to stretch like hours.
"...I-it was just Meiling fooling around."
"Really now? You don't sound the least bit convincing." Eriol replied in a tone bordering menace before swallowing hard, 'Stop it. Just, stop it' or else everything would only snowball downhill from there, that, Eriol knew.
"...It really wasn't a big deal..."
"Ah, but at the sound of you, it seemed awful pleasant." Eriol said with stinging bitterness. Before he knew it, he was beside himself, like a stranger in his own mind, and it was too late to backtrack. There was no stopping him; he was finally throwing caution to the wind, setting free the selfishness he had kept bottled up for so long.
"...W-What...?" Syaoran answered stupidly.
"Hm, right. Why didn't you call me Syaoran?" Eriol knew he was backing him against a wall, but this time made no attempt to control himself, because this, even the sane him wanted to know.
"...I meant to..."
"But you didn't."
"..." Syaoran shifted nervously on his mattress. It wasn't like Eriol to be so pushy, and he really had no idea how to respond to him.
"Why is that?"
"... I—" What to tell him? That he felt sorry for having to leave all the time, selfish for always putting work and family before his lover, guilty for missing their three years anniversary, uncaring for being sucked so into work that sometimes days would pass before he'd even think about Eriol any, useless for not being able to stand up to his mother or the clan regarding the arranged marriages, inadequate for not being able to give him sex... The list was long and endless. " I... Don't know..."
"You don't?" cynicism stung in Eriol's voice.
Syaoran lowered his head, his grip tightened around the receiver, "I don't."
"How about because you don't care at all?" Eriol felt an unexpected pang in his chest as soon as the words escaped his mouth.
"W-wha—"
"You loved Sakura. You probably still do. You were emotionally wounded when she chose another man over you and when I so conveniently confessed to you, you ended up convincing yourself you had feelings for me even though you never did and probably never will." Eriol rationalized. Pang.
"Why are you—" Syaoran's voice quivered.
"Face it Syaoran, you have tried. For three years. But you can't force yourself to fall for me. You can't love me, because I am me, and I am a man." Pang, pang.
"That doesn't matter to me!"
"But it does. Physical intimacy repulses you doesn't it?" Pang, pang, pang.
"T-that's not true! We sleep in the same bed and we k-kiss and..." Syaoran felt his face heat up in embarrassment as he clenched the fabric of his pants in his fist.
"Yes. We do. But that's all we do. Never mind the fact that we have done nothing else until now, do you really think you could ever be with a man, Syaoran?"
"I can! I will!" Syaoran heard himself talk, noted he had never sounded more desperate, "...W-with just a little more time... I know I can..." 'Get better at it so you don't have another reason to hate me...'
Eriol had a short, bitter laugh, "Time isn't what you need Syaoran... Let's end this."
Syaoran's throat went dry.
"It lasted long enough, and we had a good time." He sighed, "Let's break up before we both end up hurt and bitter."
"Y-you don't really mean that..." Syaoran said in a barely audible whisper.
"... I love you Syaoran,—"
"I kn—"
"—I say it all the time, but did you ever notice that you never even once said it back...?"
Syaoran felt a lump in his throat. Suddenly no sound could come out right, and everything he had wanted to say seemed too light, too foolish, too inappropriate.
"E... Eriol..."
"... Goodbye Syaoran." Eriol whispered before quietly hanging up.
Syaoran kept the phone to his ear even after the loud warning tone pierced his eardrum. He gripped the phone so tightly, his knuckles had turned white, but he felt nothing. Nothing, but complete and utter numbness as he recalled every single time Eriol had said those three little words to him. He must have said it back. At least once, just once. He had meant to. He thought it was always understood, unspoken, but understood.
Suddenly, the bedroom door burst open.
"I hear no noise, so you must be done. Tell me if you're decent." Meiling waltzed in, shield her eyes of her hand.
Syaoran slowly lowered the receiver to his laps, 'Just once...'
"Syaoran?" Meiling peeked between her fingers. "Syaoran?! What's wrong?" she gasped suddenly, "You're crying..."
Oh? He hadn't even noticed.
Eriol hung up the phone with a sigh. Now he had done it, and there was no going back. This was where jealousy and selfishness took you. He let his head fall back on the headrest and squeezed his eyes shut, lifting a hand to his chest. He had never expected it to hurt so bad...
Only moments later, Eriol jumped as the sound of the phone echoed in the large study. After a few rings, he quietly settled back in his chair and listened to the sound. It wasn't long before it stopped.
"Eriol-sama?" Nakuru appeared at the door, much quieter than to her habit, "It's Syaoran on the phone..."
Eriol remained still, with a small smile, idiotically staring at the ceiling.
"Eriol-sama?"
"Hmm?" Eriol answered without turning to look at her.
"It's Syaoran on the phone."
"Tell him I'm not there."
Nakuru, frowned, opened her mouth to speak, but after short hesitation simply nodded and left, but only to reappear moments later.
"Eriol-sama?"
"Yes?" This time Eriol turned towards his guardian and was not surprised to see her looking concerned.
"He... says it's urgent."
"It doesn't matter. Tell him I'm not there."
"But, Eriol-sama..." Nakuru hesitated, "I think he's crying..." she finally said.
Eriol turned his head so she wouldn't see the hurt in his eyes, "... Tell him I'm not there."
Eriol didn't hear Nakuru leave. He quickly slipped in solemn, quiet, and painful daydream.
Hours passed, but Eriol remained still and lifeless sitting in his study. Occasionally, Nakuru would come in and voice her concern by asking him if he was alright. He almost never answered, he almost never heard. The phone rang many more times and like a ritual, Nakuru would always come in to say who it was and Eriol would always turn him away, because it was always Syaoran. Eventually the phone stopped ringing and outside, it started raining.
It must have been the afternoon, because it was still light out —regardless of the gray dullness that, presumably coming from inside the mansion, had spread to the outside— when Spinel pushed open the door and flew inside the morbidly quiet study.
Eriol didn't even notice at first, but when Spinel appeared inches from Eriol's face, he became quite hard to ignore. Eriol finally broke out of his trance and for the first time in hours, took note of his surroundings.
"You look even worse than when you were waiting for the phone to ring." Spinel said carelessly.
Eriol didn't smile, "Though I usually make light of your thoughtful cynicism, now really isn't the time Spinel. If you have no kind words then say none at all."
Spinel shrugged, "There's warm tea being served in the living room. You should come down." He flew back towards the door.
"What kind?" Eriol asked offhandedly.
"Earl Grey." Spinel replied before disappearing through the door.
Eriol smiled, his favourite, "I thought you said you wouldn't nurse my broken heart..."
Eriol slowly rose from his seat. His legs felt stiff from prolonged immobility. He exited the room and soon descended the tall staircase to the living room, but stopped in the middle of the staircase at the sight of the person who sat on the living room couch.
Syaoran soon noticed Eriol's presence and abruptly shot up, nearly spilling the boiling content of his cup all over his hands.
"I-Y-your guardians let me in." His voice was small and shaky. He quickly set the cup back on the table.
Eriol frowned at the betrayal and noted that all his guardians had conveniently disappeared. Now of all times to give them a little privacy... But quickly recovering from shock, Eriol put on a neutral face and silently marched to the living room. He soundlessly sat down on the chair directly in front of the other man and calmly poured himself a cup of tea. Though he never looked at him directly, Eriol could see Syaoran clenching and unclenching his fist— a tic Syaoran often had when he was nervous or uncomfortable.
Still recovering from the run he had taken from the airport, Syaoran stood in the middle of the living room, wet clothes clinging to his skin and water dripping from every follicle. His body shook with tremor, be it from cold or something else. His eyes were red, and a little puffy, but that could just has easily been from fatigue. Eriol glanced around. There were no luggages, not even the familiar little trolley. Hesitant, Syaoran soundlessly opened and closed his mouth. Or maybe he had said something but his voice was too weak to be heard over the sound of the pouring rain hitting against the living room windows. In any case, none of it mattered anymore, they had broken up; it was already over. Eriol took a sip from his cup before throwing the other man a cool, placid smile.
"What are you do—"
"I love you." Syaoran blurted out. The words made his whole system jolt, but that, Eriol refused to let show.
He frowned, "Go home, Syaoran."
"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you—" Syaoran repeated over and over again, as though aware of how it made Eriol's insides churn, "I love you. I lov—" Syaoran jumped as Eriol violently hit his cup against the table. It landed with a loud clatter, spilling its liquid all around. There was a moment of silence as the two men quietly gauged each other, but finally, it was Eriol who got up to leave.
"Wait!" Syaoran hastily moved forward, ramming into the table, "Wait! Just wait..." Eriol looked back to see Syaoran's eyes glistened in an awkward mix of plead, confusion and despair. Pang, pang, pang, pang. Eriol sighed and turned around, but didn't sit back down.
Syaoran inched forward, a hand reaching out to the man in front of him, "I... I love you." He stopped in front of Eriol, not daring to touch him, "I love you... I love you and I'm sorry. I really am..."
Eriol shifted, "Do you even know what you're sorry for Syaoran?"
"I do! I do…" He looked down, hesitant. Eriol turned to leave.
"I'm sorry that I always have to leave!" Syaoran blurted quickly to hold him a little longer, Eriol paused, with his back turned to Syaoran "...And that I always put work and my family before you. I'm sorry that I missed our three year anniversary even though I knew you were looking forward to it and... And I'm sorry that my mother gave me arranged marriages proposals and I that still couldn't find the courage to tell her about us. I'm sorry that I'm so useless at sex that I had to get Meiling to help me—" his head shot up, horrified at how what he had just said sounded, "—But not that- We didn't do anything! What I mean to say is that, it wasn't her- I mean, there was this clone..." he winced, hoping he didn't sound as stupid as he thought. "I'm sorry... And I'm sorry that I freaked out about all these things and got scared to call you because I didn't know what to say... I'm just... So sorry, so please... Please don't do this..." Syaoran rested his head on Eriol's back, tightly gripping onto Eriol's robe. He felt the back of his eyes sting, but bit back the tears to save his last shred of dignity.
Eriol, who, unmoving, had been listening quietly, slowly pulled away from Syaoran's grip.
"Eriol, please…"
He turned around, startling Syaoran who took a small step back. He slowly moved forward, held the brunet's head still between his hands and pressed his lips against his. At the feel of Eriol's lips, Syaoran felt the last of his resolve dissipate. He let his hands fall limp by his sides and wept, broken and shameless. Between his muffled sobs and shaking hiccups, Syaoran was a beautiful mess. He tried turning his head away, but Eriol firmly held him still. In midst their embrace, Syaoran tripped on the rug and both men toppled on the couch. Eriol kissed Syaoran mercilessly. First his lips, then his cheek and the bridge of his nose, then the spot under his eye and the lobule of his ear…
As they fumble on the couch, Eriol silently whispered to his lover's ear,
"This calls for some very good make-up sex."
A/N: Well, who's going to nurse a lovely cold tomorrow? Haha.
Whaaa, it's finally over, but somehow this sequel didn't turn out quite the way I'd imagined. It doesn't really matter because I'm pretty satisfied with the finishing product. What did you guys think of it? Were the characters too OOC? Somehow I'm really worried about that.
Haha, I might make a sequel to this sequel. Just to show our favourite couple in their happy, carefree moments. Sigh, don't we just love shounen-ai?