"How about one of these?"
Kaneki set down a stack of three books onto the small table in front of the worn-out couch Hinami sat on. He sat down next to her and handed her one of the books. She smiled, and he reciprocated.
Or at least tried to.
Hinami was young, but she wasn't dull. She could see that Kaneki had changed beyond his greyed hair. Everyone tried to hide it from her, speaking in hushed voices and shutting up when she set foot in the room. But she noticed when Kaneki would turn heel-foot and shut himself into his room mid-conversation. And his night terrors could be heard through the shut door- there was no hiding that.
But she would pretend not to notice. She could tell that made Kaneki a little happier, that she wasn't worrying. She was. Maybe she was good at hiding it. Kaneki also seemed to cheer up, or at least feigned a smile, when they read together. He'd never tried to retreat to his room when they had a book.
Hinami looked at the title of the book.
She furrowed her brows and her lip gave way into a pout.
"I don't know these words," she admitted. That made her feel a tad embarrassed.
Kaneki let out a small laugh and reached out to ruffle her hair. Hinami smiled a little. Kaneki was always so supportive.
"I'll find something more suitable, Hinami. Wait right here."
He pulled his hand away from her hair, and one of his knuckles made an audible pop. He froze. His smile dropped and he stared at his hand for a moment, before cracking the rest his knuckles and standing from the couch.
"Thank you, onii-chan." She put on a sweet smile to cover the worry that threatened to show on her face. Kaneki walked to his room, and Hinami flipped the book over to read the back. The language was above her level, that was certain. But from what she could tell from the back, she would probably like it. She'd ask Kaneki for help with it when he...wasn't as stressed as he was now. When he was better.
Hopefully that would be soon.
Hinami waited on their couch patiently. Banjou had left earlier , leaving the small house a little- or rather, a lot- quieter than usual. The air was a little uncomfortable. She flipped through the book a little while she waited, and decided it would be a good thing for a challenge. Kaneki had been gone a long time looking for a book. Maybe he couldn't choose?
Hinami stood from the couch and happened to catch a glance at a clock in the adjacent kitchen. It was later than she had thought, a good half hour after the two of them were supposed to have begun reading. Had Kaneki really been gone that long?
Worry pooled in her chest. She forced herself to take calm steps as she walked down the hallway to reach Kaneki's room, albeit a tad hurried. She stopped at the door and prepared herself to speak, so none of that worry would choke out.
"Onii-chan?"
No answer.
She brought up her arm and rapped on the door. To her surprise, it creaked open. Enough to show that Kaneki sat on his bed- unmade, sheets torn off and in tatters on another side of the room. He had a small bookshelf next to where he sat on his bed. His gaze wasn't on the books, though. He stared, unblinking, at the wall next to the door.
Hinami spoke again, certain her voice betrayed her emotions this time.
"Onii-chan?"
No answer.
He didn't seem to see her there. Or anything for that matter.
Hinami opened the door wider, and let out a gasp.
She'd never seen inside his room before. She was appalled and frightened and more worried about Kaneki than she ever had been.
The rest of their home wasn't a sight for sore eyes, but Kaneki's room was downright disgusting. Cans of coffee littered the floor, their contents having spilled and stained the carpet. The carpet's original color had been uniform with the rest of the house, but that was no longer discernable. Amongst the cans were scraps of torn papers and dirty clothes. The walls...the walls were smeared with grime and blood, scored with scratches from what had to have been Kaneki's kagune and pock-marked with holes and indentations from his fists. The window was boarded off, and the planks were covered in a thick film of dust. The bookshelf and bed were the only pieces of furniture in the room.
She stepped over a pile of garbage and tentatively set a hand onto Kaneki's shoulder.
"Kaneki onii-chan."
Still, no answer.
She could feel tears welling up in her eyes. Her worry mingled with fear. But she wasn't going to cry.
She didn't know what to do. Or if she could do anything.
Kaneki had a phone, didn't he? She could call Banjou for help. How she would find it the phone in this mess was beyond her.
She looked to the bookshelf. Oh, never mind, that had been easy. That was one weight off her chest.
Hinami flipped the phone open. She'd never had one herself before, she didn't really know how to use one. She could figure it out, she needed to.
She pressed a button that looked like a little person, hoping that it wasn't some sort of self-destruct button. She let out a relieved sigh when it wasn't, and when it pulled up a list of names. Much easier than she had thought. Now she could call Banjou. She tapped another button and was startled when the screen changed. Calling...someone who wasn't Banjou. A voice came from the other end. She panicked and slammed the phone back shut.
Hinami opened the phone once more and pressed the "people button" again. Careful not to hit the same button again, she pressed another one. The screen closed and she let out a small noise of frustration. She retraced her steps, and managed to scroll one down the list.
She smiled a little. She had gotten it.
She scrolled down until she recognized the name Banjou, and pressed the button she had mistakenly earlier.
She held it up to her ear like she had seen other people do. She would have felt cool, if she wasn't so worried. But the prospect of reaching Banjou had lessened her worry greatly. So maybe she did feel a little cool.
The line rang...and rang...and rang. "The number cannot be reached," an automated voice said.
It hung up.
Hinami frowned at the phone. She looked to Kaneki. He was still staring forward. She was standing in his line of sight, but he didn't register her there.
She tried calling Banjou again. Eleven times. Her panic was back.
She pulled up the list again and found another name she recognized. Kaneki wouldn't appreciate it, probably, but he needed help. She pressed the call button.
It rang...and rang...
An automated voice came through again. "You have reached the voicemail of," it paused and a familiar voice came through, "Touka."
At hearing the real voice, Hinami smiled. "Onee-chan, I'm so glad you're-"
Her smile dropped when the automated voice returned.
She closed the phone again.
Her tears were welling up again. Her lip trembled.
She let out a small sob and it quickly grew into crying.
"Onii-chan, I'm right here. Onii-chan, look."
No answer.
She stood in silence aside from her own crying until the phone started playing music. She fumbled and almost dropped it.
She opened it and tentatively held it to her ear. Could it be Banjou?
"Kaneki-kun, how cruel! To hang up on me like that, c'est affreux."
Oh. Kaneki would appreciate this much less than Touka, but Hinami was desperate to get help for him. She sniffled.
"Kaneki-kun? Un tragedie, to be hung up on again." A sigh.
"No! This isn't Kaneki."
"Oh? Pardons. He must have changed numbers."
"No, this is his phone. I'm Hinami. I don't know how to use it," she said, a bit shy.
"Tsk, tsk. Stealing Kaneki-san's phone, when I thought you were a dolce princess. Give it back to him, and perhaps I won't tell." It was playful, but there was a tinge of annoyance to it.
She sniffled and let out a small sob, despite her resolve.
"Kaneki onii-chan needs help."
The response came immediately.
"Is he injured?"
"No, he just...keeps staring at nothing. It's like he can't see me in front of him." At that she let out another small sniffle.
"Oh."
Silence from both ends.
"Would you...like me to come to see if I could be of assistance?"
She nodded, unaware that he couldn't see her from his end of the line considering that it was a phone.
He took the silence as an answer.
"Calmato, little princess. I will be there shortly."
Hinami set down the phone next to Kaneki, who still had not moved. She took a glance at the room. Kaneki wasn't going to like it that Tsukiyama had been there if he woke up. When he woke up, she corrected herself. But Kaneki would like it much less if the snobbish Gourmet saw the state of his room. Not even Banjou came in here. Only Kaneki did.
She resolved to clean what she could before the flower man arrived. The carpet was a lost cause, as was the damage to the walls. But she could pick up the floor and maybe wash some of the sludge from the walls.
Shockingly, it didn't take too long. There was a neat pile of laundry, tattered sheets included. The washer was going for them. A couple of garbage bags that would need to be brought outside. The surfaces were dusted, and the walls...she did what she could. Without the trash, the carpet wasn't...as bad, she supposed. There was no disguising that the room was still disgusting.
Kaneki still hadn't moved. She thought she'd seen him blink, though. That was a triumph.
The knock on the door came just as she had taken the trash bags out of Kaneki's room. Hinami opened the door, a tad embarrassed when he looked down at her. She was in pajamas and he was impeccably dressed, as he always was. Her face was probably all red and splotchy from crying. She didn't want his pity, but his expression drew into one of comical sympathy, as though she was a toddler who'd scraped her knee. He produced a handkerchief from his jacket's pocket to hand her and spoke in a high voice, as though he were addressing a pet. "Mon trognon, you needn't worry now that I am here. May I come in?"
Hinami took the handkerchief, nodded, and stepped aside to let him in. He was always so polite. A lot of people didn't like him, she couldn't imagine why.
"Now, where will I find our distressed Kaneki?"
Hinami walked to him and took his hand in her much smaller one. She led him down the hall to Kaneki's room.
"Onii-chan is in here," she said. She hoped that maybe Kaneki had moved since Tsukiyama had arrived. But when she opened the door she saw that he hadn't. She frowned a little more.
Tsukiyama stepped into the room and his expression dropped into one that was...probably what she had looked like when she had first seen the room. Appalled, a little scared. Worried for Kaneki. He didn't have to know how much worse it had been earlier. But unlike her, he didn't start crying. He slapped his handsome smile back onto his face.
He stepped in front of Kaneki and crouched, meeting him at eye-level. He cupped his cheek. Hinami felt a slight panic. The way the flower man was looking at Kaneki was weird, like he wanted to eat him.
Kaneki would wake up if Tsukiyama tried. She was sure. But Tsukiyama wouldn't do that, would he? She didn't know him very well, people didn't talk about him around her. Tsukiyama couldn't possibly be like that.
He opened his mouth.
"Kaneki-kun."
He furrowed his brow and brushed Kaneki's hair behind an ear. He brought two fingers to press against the side of Kaneki's neck. Hinami's stomach dropped. What could that mean?
Tsukiyama let out a sigh. Was it relief? She hoped. Tsukiyama smoothed a hand down Kaneki's face, closing his eyelids.
Hinami had seen that before. She knew what it meant. Her tears welled up again.
"Is...is he…d-d..."
Tsukiyama looked to her. "Don't fret. He is simply sleeping."
Sleeping. That was what her mother had said about her father. Her heart sank. Now she was losing her brother?
"That is fretting, little princess." That overly sweet voice again.
She sniffled.
"He'll be awake in a few hours. Kaneki-san hasn't been well, he needs rest. He simply fell asleep with his eyes open."
She could tell that wasn't the entire truth, but she felt he wasn't lying about Kaneki waking up.
"We were supposed to read," she said.
Tsukiyama tutted. "A shame. I'm sure he'll read with you another time."
Hinami sighed and they sat in silence for a moment.
Tsukiyama threaded his fingers through Kaneki's bangs, pulling them back from his face. He pressed a kiss to the half-ghoul's forehead, took a deep breath, and sighed. Hinami looked away and blushed. Adults were weird. And she thought she saw Tsukiyama...sniffing Kaneki? Maybe that was another grown-up thing.
Tsukiyama hooked a hand around Kaneki's knees and supported his back as he lifted him from the bed and laid him down on it. He shrugged off his suit jacket and draped it over Kaneki's sleeping form on the bare mattress.
He straightened up and held out a hand to Hinami.
"Let's leave Kaneki-san to sleep, shall we?"
Hinami nodded and took his hand.
He led her from the room. "Where is Banjoi-san? Shouldn't he be here?"
"Banjou-san left earlier," Hinami said, smiling a little. She couldn't tell if Tsukiyama was using a nickname or if he actually couldn't remember Banjou's name. Both were funny to her. Tsukiyama took her to the couch and let go of her hand.
"Well then, I will keep the little princess company until he returns. Or, when Kaneki-san wakes up," he gave her a little wink, "which won't be long."
Hinami smiled softly and sat down on the couch. Tsukiyama took his spot on the cushion beside her. "Since you missed you time with Kaneki-san today, would you care to read with me?"
Hinami nodded once again. "Thank you, Tsukiyama-san." She picked the book up from the table and handed it to him.
He turned it over in his hands and read the back.
"My, this is dark. Does the dolce lady truly enjoy these kinds of books, or is Kaneki-san trying to impose his taste onto you? I know his choice tends to be...rather grim."
"Onii-chan and I like the same kind of books!" she said, cheerful.
"A...Ah," He replied. "Perhaps the little lady isn't as sweet as I had thought."
Hinami felt a little self-conscious at his reaction to her taste in books. But then, she thought, maybe those kind of stories scare him? That was funny to think about.
She ended up verbalizing her thoughts. "Do these sorts of stories scare you, Flower Man?"
Tsukiyama let out a small stutter, "O...Of course not." He pressed a hand to his chest. Hinami had a feeling that was a little lying tick. She giggled. It would probably be a little mean to make him read it with her, then, but she thought it was funny to make a grown-up scared. Well, the kind of scared that Tsukiyama seemed to be right now. Not the scared that Kaneki was at night, screaming in his room but pretending like no one heard him. That thought dulled her smile, and her worry pulled at her stomach again. Tsukiyama noticed and piped up.
"Well, then, ah. How do you typically go about reading with Kaneki-san?"
"Uhm, this one is a little advanced for me…" Hinami said, looking away a little bit shyly. "So...if you could read it, and I could read over your shoulder…"
Tsukiyama nodded. "A good plan, you're smart as well as sweet, little lady."
Hinami's smile came back, and Tsukiyama opened the book.
"Then, here we go…"
Tsukiyama had been reading a while before he realized that Hinami had fallen asleep. The poor thing was all tuckered out from all the worrying she had done. He closed the book and set it on the table in front of them. He inched his way off of his seat, trying not to disturb the sleeping girl's rest. Throw pillows were on the ground around the couch, so he took one and nestled it beneath Hinami's head before he left the couch and made his way to the kitchen.
A cheap hunk of plastic that dared to call itself a coffee maker sat on the counter, along with some cheap beans one could hardly call coffee. Tsukiyama tutted. He'd have to bring them a French press and some beans of his taste, next time he came. Which likely wouldn't be soon. Kaneki didn't tend to trust him, and didn't appreciate his presence in the house. Tsukiyama found himself almost hoping that Banjou would arrive before Kaneki woke up, if only to escape the sharp words he'd receive from Kaneki. But he was really worrying as much as Hinami had been, and hoped Kaneki would awaken soon.
If Kaneki was even asleep. He assumed the boy was, but he wasn't exactly sure. The half-ghoul had been strange since whatever had happened at Aogiri.
He could have eaten Kaneki then, he thought. No, he wasn't one for fast food. The easy route would diminish the half-ghoul's flavor, after all. And of course, he didn't want to scar the little girl. But, really, the thought hadn't come to him until just then, standing in the kitchen. Not when he was in Kaneki's room, with the boy incapacitated. He was losing his gourmet sense.
He set up the suspicious coffee maker and brewed a pot of sub-par coffee. It was an insult to his taste. If this was the sort of thing Kaneki liked, that worried him almost as much as the situation Kaneki was currently in. He'd have to lecture Kaneki on appreciating the flavor. Tsukiyama poured a cup, sipped it, and sneered. Terribile.
He suffered another taste, but then was pelted with something soft on his side. He looked to where the offending object came from, and saw Kaneki standing there.
"Kaneki-kun, quel soulagement! Good morning, I made coffee. Or, what this jar claims it to be. You really should be more careful about soiling your tastes with this swill."
Kaneki sighed and pushed past him into the kitchen to pour himself a mug of coffee. A sign that his presence wasn't completely unwanted, Tsukiyama thought.
Kaneki spun around and leaned against the counter, facing him. "Why the hell are you here?"
"How appreciative of you," Tsukiyama rebuked. He drew a finger to his lips and pointed the other to the living room. Kaneki's gaze followed the finger, and his annoyed expression dropped. "You nearly frightened the little lady to death. She called me over," he explained, lowering the volume of his voice to a more appropriate volume.
Kaneki gripped his coffee tightly and stared at the floor. "Oh."
"What happened?"
"I...I think I fell asleep? I dunno. I blanked out."
Tsukiyama let out a tiny laugh. It wasn't funny. "You certainly did. You'd been staring at a wall for nearly an hour when I arrived."
Kaneki cursed.
Tsukiyama knelt and picked up his jacket that Kaneki had thrown at him. He took the couple of steps between he and Kaneki and draped the jacket over Kaneki's shoulders.
"I don't want this thing," Kaneki said, rolling his eyes. He made no move to take the jacket off his shoulders, though, and simply sipped at his coffee. He sighed. "I'll be more careful when Hinami is here, then. She doesn't need any more heartbreak."
"Nor do you."
Kaneki snorted. "Too late. I know you're just trying to butter me up." He let out a short, dark laugh. "Probably literally." He downed the rest of his coffee and moved to refill the cup.
Tsukiyama took the cup from him, to refill it himself. "To think so low of me, Kaneki-kun. When I'm here, in your servitude." To make his point, he handed Kaneki the coffee.
He set a hand on Kaneki's shoulder. Kaneki slapped his hand away. That was too far, it seemed, even though Tsukiyama was in his personal space. Kaneki was ever particular about what space and contact was allowed. Before, the sweet little black-haired Kaneki wouldn't protest to anything and merely shrink away. Tsukiyama wouldn't say he preferred that, though. The white-haired Kaneki's newfound confidence added a certain spice to him. Tsukiyama halted his train of thought right there. Thinking with his stomach wouldn't get him anywhere except perhaps into a bloody heap on the floor.
There was an awkward silence. Tsukiyama rolled around his head for thoughts, trying to come up with a topic of conversation before Kaneki kicked him out.
"Ah, Kaneki-kun, I will see to finding you a new house to set up in- this one is nothing short of a dump, in honesty. And new coffee. That is something I can get you sooner."
"It kind of is a dump," Kaneki agreed, "but it doesn't really matter. And I like this coffee." He took a sip to make his point.
Tsukiyama began to prattle on about housing arrangements and beans and French presses before Kaneki interrupted him.
"Wait."
"Yes, Kaneki-kun?"
"Did you kiss me earlier?" He wore an expression that was made of confusion mixed with a slight hint of disgust.
"You remember that? Only on the forehead, mon cher, a good night kiss."
"Don't do that in front of Hinami."
Tsukiyama put on a tiny smirk. "Not in front of Hinami? Not barring permission altogether, are we, hm?"
Kaneki scoffed, "You're gross. Go away." He took a drink of his coffee and made no attempt to push Tsukiyama away or to move himself 's jacket still hung around his shoulders.
Tsukiyama set his nearly untouched coffee on the counter. He reached out and cupped Kaneki's cheek, and when the hand wasn't swatted away he leaned in and pressed a kiss to the other side of Kaneki's face. Kaneki didn't shove him away. A surprise. No touching his shoulder, but a kiss was okay? Kaneki could be so particular. Tsukiyama pulled his lips away. "Gross?"
Kaneki stuttered a little before pulling together a reply. There it was, a little hint of the black-haired boy he had been.
"Pretty much," Kaneki let a puff of air out of his nose. "I don't trust your intentions. You were probably thinking something like, 'I bet his cheeks would taste good if I made him blush'. Weren't you."
Kaneki did have full cheeks, they were round and rather cute. Supple. But Tsukiyama didn't entertain the thought of biting into them until Kaneki had brought it up...they probably would taste good if Kaneki were blushing.
Kaneki cocked his head and looked at him, wide-eyed. "Of course, you wouldn't try. I'm sure you don't want to end up a pulp of a carcass."
The hint of black-haired Kaneki was gone that fast.
"I...I would never," Tsukiyama scoffed and pressed a hand to his chest in a gesture of mock-offense. He actually was a tad offended. Here he was, trying to earn Kaneki's trust to...probably try to eat him again. Probably. Kaneki was probably right not to trust him, then. Tsukiyama was uncertain of his own motives at that point.
Tsukiyama turned his body to rest against the counter next to Kaneki. He slung his arm around Kaneki's waist. Kaneki didn't push him away, but rather leaned into him a little. What a surprise.
"How upset was she?"
"Fairly. She cried...quite a lot, really. Not as much as one would expect from a girl her age, though. She's brave."
Kaneki let out a deep sigh and rested his head against Tsukiyama.
Tsukiyama fought back his desire to proclaim his happiness at that. It would ruin the moment, he knew, and Kaneki would regret taking the position and it wouldn't happen again. He swallowed, but it came out audibly as a high-pitched squeak.
"What?"
Tsukiyama shook his head. "Nothing."
"You're weird," Kaneki said, rolling his eyes. "...I hope she forgets about it."
"Sad to say, I doubt she will, Kaneki-kun."
Kaneki sighed. "Yeah. Probably not. I think she cleaned my room or something, too. Unless that was you."
Tsukiyama tried to hold back a scoff, but failed. "That's clean?" The room, as he had seen it, was something from a horror movie. He couldn't imagine it much worse. He would have to put more stock into finding Kaneki's group a new house to settle into.
Kaneki seemed to be doing an awful lot of sighing tonight. He leaned into Tsukiyama's side a little more.
"Yeah. I…" Kaneki started, but trailed off, abandoning the train of thought. "...I'm still really tired."
"When was the last time you slept, Kaneki-kun?"
Kaneki shrugged.
"When was the last time you ate?"
He shrugged again.
"I'll bring you something of excellent taste soon."
Tsukiyama received a sharp elbow to his side. A sound that could be described as an "oomph" escaped his lips. Kaneki wasn't gentle at all.
"Dont. Really."
"V...very well, then, Kaneki-kun." Tsukiyama made a mental note to bring food next time, despite Kaneki's clear objection.
Kaneki looked at one of the kitchen's clocks. He leaned into Tsukiyama a little more. "It's late."
"Would you like for me to leave, then?"
"Probably." Kaneki's tone was a tad annoyed.
Oh. Tsukiyama hadn't picked up on the message Kaneki was hinting at. He gave himself a mental slap.
"I could stay, mon cher."
Kaneki set his coffee on the counter next to Tsukiyama's mug and scratched at a reddening cheek. "No, that's a bad idea."
Tsukiyama sighed and retracted his arm from around Kaneki. Kaneki straightened up and walked out of the kitchen, leading Tsukiyama to the door.
Kaneki opened the door for him. Tsukiyama moved to walk out the door.
"Wait, though," Kaneki said. He wrapped a hand around Tsukiyama's tie and pulled the gourmet down to his level. Kaneki leaned forward and pressed their mouths together softly before pushing Tsukiyama backward and out the door.
Tsukiyama moved to make an exclamation of joy, but Kaneki held up a finger to his mouth.
"Sleeping children. Right."
Kaneki nodded.
"Good night, then, Kaneki-kun. Be careful."
He nodded once again.
"Especially in front of little eyes."
"Yeah. I know."
"You really scared her."
Kaneki sighed. "I know."
"You should wake her up, so she knows you're back. She really wanted to read with you. I read with her a bit, but…"
"Oh. Thanks. Yeah, that's...that's a good idea. Thanks."
"Good night."
"Good night."
Kaneki closed the door and sighed. He scratched at his ear and looked over to the couch. Hinami was still asleep, but she didn't have a peaceful expression on her face like she should have. He blamed himself, felt terrible. Poor Hinami.
He sat down next to the girl on the couch and picked up the book Tsukiyama had bookmarked. It was the one he'd thought was too difficult for Hinami. Maybe if he hadn't underestimated her abilities this wouldn't have happened? That was a ridiculous thought. It probably still would have happened. He'd been exhausted. That was his fault for not his nightmares were out of control.
He reached up and touched the jacket around his shoulders. He'd forgotten to give it back. Bad decisions. He made bad decisions when he was tired. He wished he could sleep more. He wished he could sleep like he had that day, dreamlessly. But with some notice, without scaring Hinami like that.
He looked to Hinami's sleeping figure. He didn't know whether or not it was a good idea to wake her. But she looked worried, even in her sleep.
Kaneki opened the book to where Tsukiyama had left it, and he made the decision to nudge Hinami's shoulder.
Hinami opened her eyes, groggy. "Onii-chan?"
"Good morning. Did you still want to read?" He smiled at her.
Her sad expression left, and sleepiness was written all over her face. "I'm glad you're better, onii-chan."
Kaneki's heart sank. "Yeah, sorry for worrying you." She sat up a little, scooted closer to him on the couch, and leaned against his side. "Did you still want to read?" he reiterated. Waking her up this late at night probably hadn't been a good idea.
Hinami nodded, though. She was still half-asleep. "Yes, please, thank you." Her manners, how cute. Kaneki was feeling worse now for worrying her.
"Alright, so you left off here…"
Hinami smiled.
The two dozed off before they had even finished the first page.