"If God were living on earth, people would break His windows"

As Harry looked through his window at 4 Private Drive he suddenly felt the understandable urge to hurl something through said for-mentioned window. Now is that disagreement I hear? Surely such an act would be considered shocking and even weird? Well of course normally you would be right, but then again who could ever claim Harry Potter or anything connected to him as normal? In fact I'm sure if you ever had - during you're normal life – experienced - even for a moment - any one of the problems the boy had, you most assuredly be running for the hills. It is therefore with this logic in mind that I state "he had an understandable urge to hurl something through a window", and ask you to therefore hold off judging his mental health (or lack there of) until he is less out of sorts.

It had been 3 days, 6 hours, 52 minuets and 45…46…47… (well you get the point) seconds since he had stepped from the train at platform nine and three quarters, and over two weeks since he had been told by a twinkling maniac that he was nothing but a weapon. In a strange way he wasn't too surprised. All his life he had been treated as such, stored when not needed, taken out for what could be called weapon testing once every year for the last 5, god he even had arms protestors in the form of people calling for him to be locked up in a loony bin. Well this was it he decided (while still resisting the urge to break the window… we mustn't forget the window) he was due one rash decision and his was to say censored it! Yes he knew what the prophecy said about not "living", but hell if all those fun times he had with friends and playing quiditch were not living he would be happy to continue to not live far away from the whole insane wizarding world for the rest of his non life!

Now what is that I hear about his friends? Well I had hoped you weren't one of these people with the annoying habit of interrupting the author? No? Ok then I suppose I must answer your question. Well as I'm sure you know Harry once had two best friends, one a bushy haired know-it-all and one a redheaded idiot (and no I'm not Ron bashing I'm mealy speaking the truth). Now Up until a few days ago Harry had very fond memories connected to them. Yes there were happy times of studying, chess and death defining situations. Harry was quite content with that part of his life, that was untill the evil letter came. Now most young people would not affix such descriptors to mundane objects such as letters, but that is because they have not come to face the full responsibilities of life. If they were however to ask their parents if such a thing could be evil, I'm sure they would hastily be pointed to an electricity bill and properly chastised for asking such a stupid question. It is safe to say however that Harry's evil letter was not a bill. His letter was merely a letter cunningly miss posted by his owl Hedwig who he had sent to Hermione as a temporary "post owl" during the summer.

Ah letters how easily you reveal thy masters secrets. And what secrets that letter told, a tangled story of a secret relationship between his once friends (and that is once as in no longer- but all will be explain in due time). It spoke of how the Un-fair maiden couldn't wait till that "hanger on" Harry would defeat Voldermort so they could get shot of him for good. Now I will admit that wasn't all that was said, however I thought to spare you the lovey-dovey talk which could turn even the hardiest stomachs. Needles to say Harry wasn't on speaking, or even "caring if they died" terms with them, and therefore didn't care about abandoning them.

Needless to say, Harry followed through with his decision to become independent. Now as any 15 year old wizard would tell you putting such a plan in motion would take considerable effort, planning and typing for the unfortunate author. However, as such an undertaking can simply be summed up in a few simple sentences; it allows me to quickly summarize the experiences as such written below:

Harry managed to gain full access to his money and decided that it would be best to hide/ "not live" in a place already full of weirdo's. He therefore set off to live in Amity Park (USA), after three days, considerable effort, a liberal use of the obliviate charm and countless hours planning. He also gained many cool gadgets, made a few goblin friends and gained eternal kinship (with diplomatic immunity added as standard) to many magical creatures – all of which will, if necessary, be explained via flashbacks when the author needs a way to fix plot holes.

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Edited with the help of my friend "Bumface" to make up for the fact that Hermione is not a fir tree.