Noise. Forever. Permanent. Screams. Shrill. Peircing. Never-Ending.
Sometimes I don't mind the constant disruption. Screams of pain, of horror; they keep me company. As does the shouting.
Sometimes they shout for relatives.
Sometimes they shout for justice.
Often they shout for death.
But why call for death when you are here? Death doesn't allow you to feel the pain that comes with being here. Death will make its own way to you no matter what. You can feel it lurking in ever corner. It is always watching you from afar, but sooner or later it will catch up with you.
Sometimes I laugh. I get a sudden urge to let the emotions that bubble up inside me lose and it comes in the form of laughter. But they I am not alone in this, they feel the same. I know they do. I hear them laughing. Loud, manic laughs that cut through me like a knife. Their laughs frustrate me. I want to Crucio them. I want to shut them up, stop them from laughing. I know why they laugh. They are laughing at me.
Sometime they are so loud that I cannot hear my own thoughts. They yell, bellow, screech at one another. Often I hear curses which are ineffective without wands. Roars of Avada Kedavra but this does not kill them. That's what they want. Death.
Sometimes I see them die. They rot away and they loose their minds. I wonder what it is like, to loose you mind. Does it hurt? Does it come with a great pain that makes your head feel like it will burst? Or is it pain which crushes in on you until you give into it and allow yourself to loose the battle?
Perhaps it is more peaceful. Perhaps you just internally wave goodbye to your sanity. But can you get it back once it is gone or is it lost forever?
They all loose their minds eventually. They loose themselves. There are no exceptions. No one-offs. They are all crazed. But not I. I am not like them because I am still in possession of my mind, my normality.
Sometimes I plan. I can do anything I wish to. I know I will escape someday. I will be back with my lord and I will be named his most faithful. But their noise holds me back, it delays me. The commotion they create pounds in on me. With all this noise, it is clear to me how lesser beings could loose their minds.
And sometimes the voices in my head are silent.