Chapter 1: Kitties 1, 3, and 4

"You're gonna kill us," Sirius said sadly.

"No, I'm not," Rune said.

"Your kitties will," Remus replied.

"The most dangerous one isn't even here yet," Rune pointed out.

"YAY!" Harry exclaimed while doing a little dance. (Rune: OO)

"You're one of the first to meet her," Rune said.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Harry screams. Rune decides that while Harry is screaming she should do the disclaimer.

"I don't own Harry Potter or any other characters," she says, "I do however own the kitties."

"I'm a kitty," Commando kitty yells. Indian grabs her by the ear.

"Come on Commando," Indian says, "You need to get ready for the chapter."

"They're crazy," Sirius commented.

"And hyper," Rune added, "That's why they're called the CRAZY HYPER KITTIES."

"Ha! Ha! Potter's in this chapter!" Snape laughs.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Harry screams again.

"Rune?"

"Yes, Sirius?"

"Make Snape's chapter hell, please."

"Okay."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Snape screams.

"Remus?" Rune asks.

"Yay," Remus says, knowing what she means.

"How come he gets to do it?" Sirius whines.

"Now on with the chapter," Remus says, smiling stupidly.

Commando Kitty is sitting in the middle of a room. She was wearing a camouflage suit, a hat, and 'cat' tags. She also carried a paintball gun, and filled it with her favorite color paintballs.

"BLUE!" Commando yells at the top of her lungs.

POP!

"Finally!" Commando says. Harry Potter stood at the farthest point away from the door.

"Ummm," was the only thing he said before Commando started laughing maniacally.

"BE BLUE!" Commando yells, while firing paintballs.

"Wait a minute. (paintball hits Harry in the head) Ow. (another hits him in the head) Ouch! (his leg) Stop that! (his arm) OUCH! Sirius! Remus! Help!"

Sirius and Remus Plushies (gotta love 'em) fall from the ceiling and hit him on the head.

Plop. Plop.

Harry picks up the dolls and runs out of the room.

Plop.

Snape Plushie (EWWWWW!) dropped down.

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

Snape Plushie was turned into a blue blob. Commando Kitty ran after Harry.

"Why'd you turn me blue?" Snape asked, glaring.

"Sirius took over my keyboard," Rune said, simply. Snape's eyes narrowed.

"How," he asked, still glaring.

"I went to get a drink," Rune said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"You left him unattended?" Snape yelled.

"Snape," Sirius said, "You're a dripping blue blob. Go away."

"Why you piece of-" (Rune: OO)

"REMUS!" Rune yelled, interrupting Snape, "HELP!"

"Now back to the chapter!" Remus says…again. Dé ja vu anyone?

Harry ran down the hallway. He heard the paintball gun being fired eight times.

"I wonder what that was," Sirius Plushie said sarcastically.

"Not now Sirius," Remus Plushie scolds, "Run Harry!" Harry ran straight into another room.

"More evil kitties!" Sirius Plushie yelled.

"RUN!" Remus Plushie yelled.

Harry had (unfortunately for him) run into a room with two kitties, that looked exactly alike, except one had a cardboard knife and the other had a bag.

"Hey, Dice, look," says Cardboard Knife Kitty (a.k.a. Slice Kitty)

"But Slice, we're not supposed to show up until chapter four," says Bag Kitty (a.k.a. Dice Kitty)

"Oh, well," they say together. Slice grabbed his cardboard knife and started chasing Harry around the room.

"Come back, little Gryffindor. I won't hurt you…too much," Slice laughs.

Dice started pelting the Plushies with paper die.

"Run, Remmie, Run!" Sirius Plushie exclaims.

"I am! I am!" Remus Plushie exclaims back, "Where's your club?"

"Oooh!" Sirius Plushie says before pulling a Plushie club from pocket and starts hitting Dice, "Take this, and this, and this." Of course, Dice was too busy pelting paper die at Remus Plushie to notice Sirius Plushie hitting him with a Plushie club. Draco Malfoy runs in.

"Oooh!" Dice says, "More fun!"