If she wanted, to be honest with herself, Bea Smith had to admit, that she had a hard time keeping her eyes of Allie Novak quite some time by now. They kept landing on the young blonde without her consent, seemingly her eyes and her brain worked on their own volition. The frequency and meaning of this act were completely obvious now when she tried very hard to avoid it. As soon as Allie walked into her line of sight Bea Smith's gaze landed on her and looking away have been an almost impossible task .
So, Bea forced herself to look into her tray and spooned the cereals into her mouth. It didn't help. Even if it was just with the corner of her eye, but still. Without turning her head or focusing that way, she could clearly see as Allie Novak took a tray and slowly moved forward in the line.
- Bea?
- Yes. – she turned toward Maxine.
- Are you alright? You seem little distracted.
Little distracted? Hell, that is the understatement of the century. She took another mouthful and muffled.
- I'm good.
Allie passed next to her as she walked towards her table and Bea's eyesight landed on her butt. „Not even those lose teal sweatpants can cover and hide how perfectly shaped that ass is." Bea thought and then - suddenly there were wet cereals everywhere! Bea spewed them out when she tried to suppress a coughing fit after her breakfast went down the wrong pipe.
- Hey! Are you sure you are alright? – Maxine looked at her concerned, so did the others.
- I'm good, really. – Bea swallowed the last cereals glued to her throat and reached after her cup to flush them down. She hasn't slept all night after Allie kissed her.
That kiss rendered her speechless at first and then it took her sanity away. On the spur of the moment, her mind went crazy. Everything was so clear and so messed up in the same time. Something has broken inside of her and at the same time, she felt stronger and more grounded than ever. She never felt like this before. Emotions were attacking her in waves. Fear, hope, joy, anxiety, happiness, stress, excitement... and so on. All at once.
She was lying in her bed, trying to contemplate and sort out her feelings, watching the shadow moving on her wall indicating that few hours passed already when she have realized that her task is impossible. Every emotion and feeling kept coming back hitting her even harder than before. Her head was spinning in this whirlpool of new and unexpected feelings – just one of them was solid as a rock. Never moving, never fading or disappearing and that was the warm tingling on her lips.
Bea Smith wants to kiss Allie Novak again. That is the only thing what matters to her now. She can deal with the rest later. All her mixed emotions, fears, and doubts – those doesn't matter, only thing what matters is feeling those soft lips again.
- Bea!
She heard Liz calling for her.
- Yes.
- Time to go, come on!
Bea looked at the clock, time for a shift. She stood up and took the tray, walking to clean it and put away.
She did her best to focus on the door instead of ogling the young blonde sitting at the corner of Kaz's table. She was just about to pass her when Allie suddenly stood up and turned crashing accidentally right into her. Bea let out a loud huff.
- What the hell Novak!
Allie had to gather all her strength stopping her mouth from spreading into a wide smile.
- So, sorry Bea! My fault! – she said as her body pressed more into the older woman before pulling back. Allie let go of the strong biceps she grabbed to steady herself. She licked her lips and clenched her fists watching Bea quickly disappearing behind the door. She grabbed her tray with a soft sigh, she will have to work hard to tame the redhead.
At first, it was a very familiar scent of honey-almond soap what hit her nose. Right after that, Bea felt soft warm tingling washing over her body. Her senses went high wire and it was no doubt that Allie Novak is standing right behind her. She glanced over her shoulder.
- I thought that the Top Dog can cut the line.
- Doing that just when necessary. – Bea turned back. – I'm keeping a spot for Liz.
- Are you alright?
- Yes. - Bea looked around whispering. – We shouldn't talk.
- Why not?
- Told you, it's too dangerous. We can't be friends, you know that.
Allie had no idea what to say. Their circumstances were messy and difficult, no doubt about it. But that doesn't mean they have to give up. Kaz will bark for a short time, but then she will calm down. Allie didn't fear the others either. Liz, Maxine – they are close to Bea too and never been targeted for it. The only thing what Allie feared was Bea Smith alone. She is as stubborn as she is sexy what means she will fight this. Yeap, she will.
- I don't want to be your „friend" – she stressed – either.
Bea just glared at her before turning her head and focusing on the wall in front of her.
- Where in the hell is Liz! – she muttered.
Allie considered to take a step forward, but she didn't. It would be nice to press herself into the redhead. Her breathing halted at the thought of how nice it would be to press her breast against Bea's back. She felt her nipples harden already. „Geez!" – she thought. Fuck! Allie suppressed a moan. She lined up behind Bea with the expectation to tease the older woman or at least making some conversation with her. She wanted to see where they stand, but instead, she ended up with foggy mind and painfully hard nipples dreaming about rubbing them against that strong back rippling under that teal shirt.
She admired and had hero crush on Bea Smith before getting busted. This woman right in front of her is far much better than her imagination and expectations. She is fierce, strong, very smart and caring. So complex and so beautiful from inside out. It is hard not to fall for her.
Allie could feel the pull between them, she is sure that she is not making it up. Bea must feel it too. Allie groaned internally. It will be a long fight, Bea would fight for her independence and it will take the time to get inside those high walls. Allie Novak is used to fighting for everything in her life. She is not scared of that. But being this close to Bea Smith knowing that they have this incredible connection and not being able to act on it will physically hurt her for the next couple of weeks. But for the greater good she has to give Bea some space.
It's interesting how being outside in the yard makes everything look better. Most likely it is because of the sun or fresh air. Open sky above them makes everyone feel better and relaxed. Everyone from H1 is currently playing basketball, except for Maxine and Bea, they are occupying one of the tables in the middle of the yard.
- What is going on with you Bea? – Maxine asked.
- Nothing.
- Oh, come on Bea! You act weirdly since yesterday evening.
- I'm not! All is good. – Bea answered.
- You seem really distracted. Is something bothering you?
Bea turned her head to where Kaz's crew been sitting. They were still sitting in the same spot around the first table, near the gate. Everyone was there – everyone. She could swear that she just smelled Allie. Her nose was filled again with that intoxicating scent of honey-almond mixed with Allie Novak herself. What the hell? She was on the other side of the yard, no way she could smell her. Could she?
- Bea! – Maxine grabbed and shook her hand.
- What?
- Nothing, I rest my case. You don't even hear what I'm saying. What has you so distracted?
- Nobody.
- What?
-Nothing! I said nothing is distracting me.
- No, you said nobody.
Bea rolled her eyes. Maxine smiled and turned sideways to peek at the table where Kaz and her girls were sitting. Allie was sitting on the bench the other way around with her back leaning against the table. She was talking to Kaz who was sitting next to her. Maxine turned to Bea whispering.
- Nobody? Are you sure?
Bea licked and bit down on her lips. She looked at Maxine and then they both turned to look at the blonde sitting carefree with her crew softly smiling at their talks.
- She kissed me yesterday.
Maxine was stunned. The surprise making her wonderstruck for few seconds before squealing quietly.
- I'm so excited!
- What? Why?
- Because it's so wonderful!
- Is it? Why? I'm not gay! – Bea hissed.
- Oh,... Maxine carefully thought about her next words... – but you like Allie, don't you?
- Yes, I care about her and that is one of the reasons why nothing can happen between us.
- Bea, we are in a prison. And I´m sorry, but you are a lifer. You can't let something as good as this pass without even trying to explore it.
- That is the other thing. „As good as this." Do you think there is something genuinely good in this place? It feels like a trap, something that will come back and bite my ass.
- I think that „something" whatever it is, must get in line behind Allie. – Maxine chuckled.
- Fuck! – Bea shook her head in disbelief. – Stop it, geez!
- She is obviously in your head. You have to let it go and get it out, otherwise, it will eat you up.
That is true and Bea knew that.
- Yeah, you are right. – With that Bea jumped up from her seat and straightened herself. There is just one way how to fend off this thirst.
Bea strutted through the grass with her usual badass swagger. Allie couldn't help it and just stared, the only thing she was able to manage was keeping her mouth shut. She really doesn't need the problems which would come if she openly drooled over Bea Smith. Prison life and prison politics are really not fair, though. Nobody should blame her for it. Bea Smith is hot and sexy as hell, everyone should be able to openly admire her. Strong arms, beautiful face, sporting sleeveless t-shirts like nobody else's business, what is not to like. Never mention her vibe of fearless and undisputed prison queen. Bea was coming closer with firm steps. Allie took a deep breath to calm the urge to throw herself in front of the redhead's feet. Giving her space will be so incredibly difficult.
Allie Novak forced herself to look away and focus on anything at her right. She looked at the wall, the fence, the chatting girls on the bench and on Kaz standing next to them. But before she knew her head turned back and her eyes landed on Bea who was just about to pass her. Dark brown eyes locked with hers and Allie felt her breath hitch. One perfect eyelid closed and opened quickly making her stomach flip. Then she turned her head and Bea continued walking forward the blocked door.
Allie's eyes went wide with surprise. That was a wink. Yeah, that was most definitely a wink. Allie smiled brightly, that must have been a wink and not just her imagination. Suddenly she felt lightheaded and her stomach flipped once more as she stood up.
This means that Bea Smith wants from her to follow her. Doesn't it? Allie looked around and slowly moved forward the block entrance. She walked through the entrance hall and turned right assuming that Bea went towards H1 rather than the kitchen. „Hope, I didn't misread it." – she thought. She really wanted to give the older woman little space. Stalking her to her cell wouldn't be the best idea if all Bea wants is to have some break from her. Suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her arm. Someone grabbed her from the hallway she was passing, dragging her deeper down the dark corridor. Before she could protest or yank herself out from the grip, a glimpse of red hair caught her attention and she immediately relaxed.
- Where are we going? – she asked whispering.
- Laundry room.
Allie smiled as she felt the grip loosen. Bea's hand slid down from her biceps to her elbow. She didn't let go, she was guiding her as they walked towards the laundry room. Bea stepped in first, quickly looking around making sure the room was empty before allowing Allie to follow her inside. She grabbed one plastic chair placing it to the door, not to block it, more just as an alarm in case someone wanted to get in.
- Should I be scared? Are you going to bash me or something? – Allie walked into the middle of the room leaning her back to the post near the washing machine.
- I don't think that I have a reason for that, do I?
- I hope that you don't. Anyway, you like roughing me up just in the showers, so I think I'm safe here.
Bea looked nervously at her feet and then back at the young woman in front of her.
- I'm sorry about that.
Allie made a very confused face watching Bea stepping closer.
- Sorry about what? – she asked. Bea made one more step and by that pinning her to the post. Allie saw as she lifted her hand and reached up tracing one finger over the faint scar near her right eye. Bea was the one making it when she slammed Allie into the wall in the showers a few months ago.
- I never wanted to hurt you.
Allie didn't even try to mask the huge gulp of air she had to swallow.
- I know, it's alright. I'm happy it was you, if I crept like that on someone else, I would have ended up with cracked skull.
- I'm still sorry. – Bea said, her finger still caressing the tiny white line in the corner of Allie's right eye.
Allie wanted to throw in a witty comment, but the attempt was finished, a matter of factly trapped in her throat by a sole finger sliding from her temple along her jaw turning her face to the left. Bea leant in and softly pressed her lips to the faint scar. Allie closed her eyes and held her breath. Soft lips were moving over the small mark near her eye and she felt like passing out. Well, that would be rather embarrassing. She forced her lungs to take some oxygen in. It's unbelievable! Allie Novak wanted to cry, yell, run away and clutch on Bea Smith in the same time and never let go. Oh yes, she is going crazy. Most definitely! Emotions were choking her. She forced one more deep breath into her lungs as Bea pulled away. Their eyes locked.
- You really like hanging out with me, don't you? – Allie asked with crackling voice.
- Yes, I think I do. – Bea smiled and Allie felt her knees go weak. Good lord, that smile! It was somewhere between shy and cheeky. It was cute, adorable and sexy as hell. Allie felt her head spin and she leant back more looking for some support. Bea stepped instantly forward, not letting the young woman out of her personal space.
Bea never in her life felt such a pull towards someone. The emotions were running havoc inside her mind and they were overwhelming. Her body reacted to the young woman like she never thought it could be possible. Her breath was shallow and quick. She could feel her heartbeat pumping in her temple and in the same time it was hammering in her chest, ready to explode.
They both lowered their gaze on the other's mouth. Allie swallowed hard while Bea licked her lips. Their eyes shifted and locked, dark brown meeting deep blue , it felt right.
Bea leant in, licking her suddenly so dry lips again. Their bodies were softly brushing against each other. A cold shiver ran over Allie's overheated body as she mesmerized stared into the brown orbs getting closer to her face. She wanted to keep her eyes open to fully enjoy the view as their lips meet, but she was unable to do so.
The first touch of those so perfect of t lips and her eyes were shut, her quiet moan was muffled by Bea. Her mouth sliding over Allie's as her hands found support on the pole behind her, trapping the young blonde between.
Allie hungrily took Bea's lower lip within hers, very gently sucking it. Her hands founding the older woman's hips, grasping the t-shirt under her hands. Unbelievable how her body reacts to this amazing woman currently playing with her lips.
Bea pulled away just to look into those gorgeous blue eyes smiling shyly. Allie smiled back her hands sliding up Bea's hands, wrapping themselves loosely around her neck. Gazing into Bea Smith's eyes from such a close proximity is going to be Allie's favorite thing to do from now on. She felt a pair of strong arms encircling her waist and a soft peck on her lips before Bea pulled her close into a very tight hug. Her face nuzzling into the younger woman's neck, inhaling her deeply. Allie tightened her grip too, enjoying how their bodies melted together.
- Allie. – Bea whispered in strange whining voice. Everything was so much easier and much more simple when the young blonde was around. Allie smiled brightly, she knew that it's still going to be a long fight, but at least now she can be sure that the fish is on the hook. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the full body contact. Their chests molding together, arms pulling, holding and squeezing. It was unexpected and overwhelming. Allie slowly slid her hands over Bea's back savouring the touch she craved so much. They stayed like that for long minutes. Just quietly holding each other and relishing the other's warmth and presence. There will be time for long talks and time for more kisses, but now, only thing they needed was each other.