AU/All-human; Spuffy one-shot
Summary: A conversation already in progress…Buffy and Spike are trying to work out their feelings about each other, and everyone else. Got the idea and title from a review of Angel: The Series DVD Collection.
Disclaimer: What little I own does not include these characters, their relatives, friends, or business associates.
Ten Cents on the Dollar
"Thanks for helping me fold the laundry...and…everything," Buffy said.
She leaned over to place the last of the laundry into the basket, in part to hide her shyness, and walked the basket over to the stairs leading up to the first floor.
Spike smiled slyly. "The pleasure was definitely all mine, Princess."
"I mostly meant the talking, not so much the fondling of my underwear."
Feigning offense, Spike brought his right hand up to his chest. "So did I."
"Shyeah, right."
She walked back to the washer and dryer, and leaned against them, facing him with her arms folded. Spike remained adjacent to her a few feet away, leaning against the shelving.
"Buffy?" Spike asked, hesitantly.
"Yeah?" she answered, releasing her arms, allowing her hands to rest on the laundry machines.
"Do you really never think about that night in the cemetery?"
She considered lying, but instead answered, "I didn't for a while, but I have been more and more recently…since you started tutoring Dawn." She looked away from him, taking a particularly strong interest in her feet, and continued, "Seeing you more around the house, I guess."
After a beat, Spike whispered, "That night really caused a rift between Dru and me."
"Oh," Buffy said, suddenly looking up at him. "I didn't know…I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm certainly not." Spike shifted his stance. "Don't get me wrong. After she left, I missed her for a long time, but she wasn't the one, you know?" He paused, considering how to proceed. "And, I wasn't the only one who knew it. She knew it wouldn't last. Actually, that night was kind of a set-up, a test of sorts." He watched Buffy intently, hoping she understood his meaning. Quickly, he added, "She had this idea in her head that I have a thing for you."
"Have?"
"Had."
"Oh." Buffy walked towards the cot and sat down. "Did you…have a thing for me?"
"Buffy…you were my best mate's girl." Spike followed Buffy over to the cot. "The proverbial forbidden fruit. That night really shouldn't have happened. The game. Truth or Dare. I'm not sorry, mind you. Truth be told…it was…delicious. You were…." Spike looked away from her, suddenly aware of her eyes on him. He continued, rationalizing, "But, we were younger, and we were drunk. And, it was by Dru's design."
"Sometimes, I wonder…." Buffy looked off, her eyes focused on a moment in the past. "Do you remember that time you picked me up from Parent-Teacher Night?"
"Yeah, Angel got hung up at work and asked me to swing by the high school for you."
"It was late, and there you were. Do you remember what you said to me when I walked up to the DeSoto?"
"I'm sorry I don't, but I have the distinct feeling that it was pivotal." It sounded more like a question than he'd meant it to when he'd said it. She continued, not seeming to notice.
"You said, 'I know I'm not who you were expecting, Kitten, but I've come to take you away from all this.' It was kinda cheesy at the time, but the way you looked at me -"
"When you stepped into the light of the street lamp…yeah, I remember." Nodding in recognition, Spike looked up at her through his eyelashes. "You were stunning. I was the one who wasn't expecting you."
"You audibly gasped. I was very embarrassed." They sat a moment, neither knowing if they wanted to keep on this topic of conversation. Buffy broke the silence and asked, "So, did you? Have a thing for me?"
"I've tried to look out for you, Love, just like Angel asked me to," Spike answered thoughtfully. "But, maybe even before that, I wanted…to take care of you."
"I can take care of myself," Buffy said, her voice on the edge of defense.
"Day to day, yeah. But, every here and there you need someone to treat you special."
She furrowed her brows, and carefully considered, "That someone should be Riley."
"But it isn't?" asked Spike, unable to hide the hopefulness in his voice.
Instinctively, she quickly changed the subject. "Did Angel say anything else to you before he left?"
Spike took in a deep breath, and sighed, "He apologized again about Jenny. But honestly, I just couldn't hear it then."
"The car accident wasn't his fault, Spike."
"I know that, but she died and he didn't."
"Spike -"
"Look, Buffy. I know he didn't cause her death. But, Jenny was my aunt. You can't have forgotten how Old Rupes was right after. Angel was my best friend. And, I wasn't sorry he lived, but I couldn't be the same around him after that. You remember how it all was."
"What about me?"
"I don't understand what you mean, Pet."
"For a while you were different around me, too. And lately, I feel it again. Sometimes, I feel like you're trying to…but then, you pull back."
"Angel asked me to look after you before he left. I've been trying, but I don't think I'm the only one who pulls back," he replied with a pointed look at her.
"Well...you know, you can be intense."
"Do I scare you?"
"Sometimes."
"Right now?"
"A little." Buffy sighed. She wasn't sure how to continue. She tried, "Spike, we all have things in our past that we're ashamed of, sorry for. What happened to Jenny and Angel was a tragic accident. But, he didn't deserve your guilt trip. He wasn't driving that other car. He wasn't the one who was drunk."
"Don't you think I know that?"
"Then how could you let him leave?"
"How could you?"
"There was nothing I could say that would make him stay. He decided that he couldn't be with me anymore. That might have been tolerable after a while, living in the same town and not being together, but I don't think he thought so. So, he left. But, you...you took your friendship away from him. What was left for him after that? There was nothing he could do to make it right for Giles and you. Nothing he could ever do would bring Jenny back."
"And that, Buffy, is why Angel will always fall short. I'm sorry, Pet, but that's a debt he'll never be able to balance with me. He'll always be paying ten cents on the dollar."
"That's what scares me."
"What?"
"What if one day you feel that way about me?"
"I could ask you that same question."
"I guess we'll never know." And so began the torturous silence. They sat together, waiting to exhale, for what seemed like an eternity.
Spike could only take so much discomfort. "Well, Pet, I suppose we won't be sussin' out anything else but laundry tonight," he said nonchalantly, trying his hardest to save face. Spike got up and began making his way to the stairs. "I'd better get going."
"Spike - "
"Buffy, let's just leave it. The way I feel about you…our history…the whole thing is… complicated."
"You're right." Buffy stood as if to follow him up, and smoothed out her clothes. "Our conversation got a little off track, huh? You were supposed to be helping me figure out what to do about my relationship with Riley. He left a message, by the way. I heard it just before you came over. He's flying to Virginia for an ROTC weekend."
"I'd better go before he calls back."
"You don't have to. He probably won't be able to call again. Besides, I don't really know what I'd say to him if he did."
"Well...the whole house'll be up soon. It'll be awkward finding me here, I think." He rubbed at the back of his neck, an attempt at keeping the awkwardness at bay.
"We could say you came by early to take me out to breakfast." Buffy was treading on thin ice; one misstep, and she might never regain her footing.
"Well…" Spike chuckled, "then we'd have to go out to breakfast. Kinda makes it difficult for me to storm off all upset." He hesitated, hoping she'd stop him somehow - eager for her to act on what he was sensing in her words and in her voice. But when she turned her eyes towards the floor, he continued, deflated, towards the stairs.
"I'm sorry, Spike."
He'd reached the stairs and let his hand rest on the banister. He turned towards her and sighed, "For what, Kitten?"
Buffy knew the words he wanted to hear, and how he needed them said. "For not having the stones to tell you how I felt sooner." She gave him a goofy smile that slowly turned into a sly smirk as she gauged his reaction.
With a tilt of his head and the slightest hint of incredulity, Spike asked, "Are you mocking me?"
Mimicking Spike's earlier fake-hurt gesture, Buffy brought her right hand up to her chest, and asked, "Would I do that?"
He let go of the banister, and sighed. Welcoming defeat - only to her - he looked down and noticed the laundry basket. Bending down to pick it up and take it upstairs for her, he finally replied, "Every chance you get."
They walked up the stairs, her hand on the small of his back, reassuringly guiding him into the kitchen and through the hallway. He set the basket down at the foot of the stairs leading up to the bedrooms.
Buffy turned her attention to the upstairs and listened for the early-morning sounds of the house. She whispered, "So...where do we go from here?"
Spike shrugged and said with a simple smile, "I was thinking the Doublemeat Palace might be open."
A/N: Read it? Now, review it. Please. ;)