A/N: A continuation of the 5-part series! Me, Gabe, and Natalie go to look for DD! No flaming please. This is for my friends and if you don't think it's funny, that's fine but no harsh comments such as...'this is gay' or 'this sucks' or worse 'fuck this'
THank you. REVIEW PLEASE! Positively and constructively!
Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING mentioned except for myself...I can't say i own DD...lol
Random Narrator: When we last left our heroes they were about to leave on a mission to find Double Agent DD, who had just left as an exchange student.
Me: Come one guys! We have to go find Double Agent DD, who just left as an exchange student!
Narrator: That's what I just said.
Me: it's all about you, isn't it?
Narrator: I'm out.
Me: Here's where she might be! A.) London, England B.) NYC, New York C.) N2N Eye House or D.) Whoville, dust Speck!
Natalie: Um…we already knew that…why are you saying it again?
Me: Well, we have to recap for the audience *I wave to audience*
Gabe :who are you waving to?
Me: The readers!
Gabe: They can't see us, dumb ass, this is a bunch of words.
Me: Oh yeah. Well we should be going!
Natalie: Wait, can I at least-?
Me: AND WE'RE WALKING!
Scene 2:
*on the plane to England*
Voice: Please fasten your seatbelts. We will be taking off immediately.
*I enter dressed as Harry Potter*
Gabe: Oh my God…what are you doing?
Me: Blending in!
Gabe: we're supposed to be discreet!
Me: But I am!
Gabe: …..
Me: Natalie! Why are you sitting in the back next to all the old fat people?
Natalie: Cuz this was the only seat available….
Me: Oh well!
*Me and Gabe sneak in to first class*
Natalie: I hate my life…\
*First class*
Voice: Now, please enjoy our lovely five course meal! courtesy of Continental Airlines!
Me: Wow! This is really good service!
Voice: Would you like to recline? Watch an in-flight performance?
Me: Sure!
*Enter cast of RENT*
RENT Cast: WE'RE NOT GONNA PAY LAST YEAR'S RENT!
Me: This is heaven!
Voice: Lights will be going out now. Please enjoy a live performance of Mozart's The Magic Flute.
Me: This is the life….
*Lower Class*
Ma: Pa! Where's the bathroom? I GOTTA GO!
Pa: YOU ALREADY USED THE DANG FLABBIN' BATHROOM!
Ma: I GOTS A WEAK BLADDER!
Pa: HERE! GO IN THE BUCKET!
Natalie: that's not a bucket…
Ma: Phew….
Natalie: That's my…purse…
Ma: Oh. Here. You can have thats back.
Natalie: Eeeeeew…..
Pa: I'M HUNGRY!
Ma: ME TOO! WHERE'S THE FOOD, PA?
Pa: I DUNNO MA!
Natalie: Dead God….save me….
Ma: OOH! BEEF JERKEY!
Natalie: And there goes my leather belt….
Pa: Hmmmm…it don't taste like beef….
Natalie: Oh….God…..
*I come in*
Me: Hey there!
Natalie: *death stare*
Me: We're watching Mozart! Wanna come?
Natalie: Please…
Flight attendant: Sorry. Only first class passengers allowed in first class…
Natalie: #%%$%! $#%^#$%^#$%$!
Flight Attendant: Jeez, lady, calm down….
Natalie: I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! I HAVE BEEN CALM ALL OF MY LIFE AND NOW I AM LETTING IT OUT!
Flight Attendant: Um…ok…?
Scene 3:
Voice: Welcome to London, England!
Me: That was a nice flight!
Natalie: *in a straightjacket* Speak for yourself…
Gabe: *sniggers*
Natalie: Don't…..you…..dare…
Harry Potter: My God! Are you people lost?
Me: Yes!
Gabe: No we're not….
Me: SHHHHH!
Harry Potter: Well, I'll help you! Welcome to England!
Me: CAN WE GO TO HOGWARTS?
Harry Potter: But you're Muggles.
Me: He's a ghost! *points at Gabe*
Gabe: I'm not a ghost, I'm a hallucination!
Harry Potter: ok!
Scene 4:
Me: I can't believe we're at Hogwarts!
Ron: Bloody hell! It's a chick!
Natalie: WHAT AM I?
Ron: What are you doing in the boy dormitories?
Me: oh. That's where we apparated to? Oops. Ok, Gabe you can stay here.
Gabe: No…..they're all….gay….
Ron: Hey, that's not true. Just cuz we all live together doesn't mean we're gay.
Natalie: Can we leave now?
Me: With pleasure.
*apparates to girls dorm*
Hermione: Reading….reading…reading….
*We enter*
Hermione: HOLY HIPPOGRIFFS! GINNY!
Me: hey! You're Hermione Granger! See? You do look like Hermione!
Natalie: NO I DON'T!
Me :Hermione, we have a very important question to ask you.
Hermione: if it's about me and Ron under the bleachers at the Quidditch match, its not true!
Me: um….no.
Hermione: Oh. Ok! Go on!
Me: Have you seen a Double Agent DD around here?
Hermione: who?
Natalie: that's a no. Can we leave now?
Me: ok!
*in boys dorm*
Ron: And then he found us under the bleachers at the Quidditch match.
Gabe: Oh my God….
Harry: Hey! Tell him about the wrack spurt and the nargle!
Ron: Ok! So once there was this wrack spurt-
*We apparate back*
Me: ok, Gabe, she's not here.
Gabe: Then we can leave?
Me: Yep.
*We all apparate back to America*
Scene 5:
Natalie: Never will we do that again….
Gabe: Where are we now?
Me: Well, next on the list is NYC, NY!
Gabe: we're in New York….
Me: Yeppers!
Natalie: don't say that.
Me: You know, you guys are very angsty.
Gabe: it runs in the family….
Me: oh.
Squeegee Man: HONEST LIVING!
Me: Hey! I haven't seen you since the first installment!
Squeegee Man: HONEST LIVING!
Me: Yeah me too!
Gabe: don't ask…
Natalie: I wasn't planning on it….
Angel: GASP! Hi there!
Gabe: I thought you were dead?
Angel: I though you were dead.
Gabe: Touché.
Angel: Welcome to Alphabet city! The capital of Bohemia!
Natalie: um…..
Me: Let me take this, Natalie. I'm a pro at Bohemian. *clears throat* ADVENTURE, TEDIUM, NO FAMILY, BORING LOCATION, DARKROOMS, PERFECT FACES, EGOS, MONEY, HOLLYWOOD, AND SLEAZE!
Angel: FOOD OF LOVE, EMOTION, MATHEMATICS, ISOLATION, RHYTHM, POWER, FEELING, HARMONY, AND HEAVY COMPETITION!
Both: REVOLUTION, JUSTICE SCREAMING FOR SOLOUTION, FORCING CHANGES, RISKS AND DANGER, MAKING NOISE, AND MAKING PLEAS! VIVA LA VIE BOHEME!
*We hug*
Gabe: Woooooowwww….
Angel: Ok, chica, how can I help my fellow Bohemian?
Me: Say chica again.
Angel: Chica.
Me: AHHHHH! It's so cool!
Gabe: can we just find my girlfriend so we can move on?
Me: Hold on! This is fun!
Natalie: That's a no.
Me: Hey! Where's everyone else?
Angel: Oh! I'll get them! *does a drum roll on pickle tub*
*ENTER BOHEMIANS!*
Me: !
Mark: Um-
Me: !
Mark: Well,-
Me: ! IT'S MARK!
Mark: Yes. I know I'm Mark.
Roger: I'M ROGER!
Mimi: No one cares about you.
Roger: Awwww…
Me: Mimi! Long time no see! How's your life?
Mimi: Disappointing. Hi Gabe.
Gabe: Hey Mimi.
Natalie: you know her? Eeew. She's a slut.
Mimi: Excuse me?
Natalie: Yeah, you heard me.
Maureen: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Joanne: Look who's talking. You're the biggest slut of them all.
Maureen: I am NOT!
Joanne: Yeah you are.
Maureen: NO I'M NOT!
Joanne: YES YOU ARE!
Roger: I'm Roger!
Maureen, Joanne, Mimi, and Natalie: SHUT UP!
Roger: ok…..
Angel: Hey, Collins, come over here! It's a new Bohemian!
Me: I GET TO MEET COLLINS?
Collins: Hi.
Me: HI!
Collins: um….relax. It's just me.
Me: hehehehehehehehehehehe…..I met Collins….
Benny: MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'M AN EVIL LANDLORD! I OWN THE BUILDING!
Maureen: Go shove it up your ass.
Benny: You are a cruel person, Maureen Johnson.
Maureen: And you are equally cruel, Benjamin Coffin III.
Me: This is MARK COHEN!
Mark: um…
Me: Sorry….they were all stating full names so I figured I….I'm done…
*silence*
Gabe: awkward silence…
Maureen: YAY! Another Mark was born!
Mark: *death stare*
Me: It's ok, Mark…we love you!
*I hug Mark*
Mark: Get off me.
Me: No.
Gabe: Can we please just leave?
Me: OK! So, have any of you seen a Double Agent DD?
Mimi: Oh. Her again?
Me: Yeah. Her and Gabe are going out.
Mimi: WHAT?
Gabe: Yep!
Mimi: Wow….that's a shocker….
Angel: I don't think any of us have seen her, chica.
Roger: I'm gonna go make sure Steve and Gordon haven't seen her. I just hope they're not doing anything gay.
Mark: They're not gay….
Roger: That's what they WANT you to think!
*ENTER LIFE SUPPORT GROUP*
Paul: Hello there friends.
All: hi Paul….
Roger: Paul? Have you seen someone named Double Agent DD?
Paul: Roger, how many times do I have to tell you? This group is confidential!
Steve: Yeah right….
Gordon: Then where are all these rumors coming from that we're gay?
Roger: *blushes* I don't know….
Paul: but no. We haven't seen her. The only girls here are Ali, Pam, and Sue.
*Ali, Pam, and Sue wave*
Roger: Ok bye! Nope! She's not here!
Me: Damn….how are we supposed to get into Whoville?
Natalie: but my house is next on the list.
Me: Well, you know she won't be there! That's just stupid!
Collins: Well….considering that I am a computer genius, I could probably whip up something real fast that can shrink your DNA there fore making you microscopic!
Gabe: Um…ok?
Collins: OK! I need a blow-dryer, a couple of paperclips, a bottle of vodka, and Elton John's Greatest Hits!
Benny: Elton John?
Collins: I like Elton John. You gotta problem with that?
Benny: No, sir….
*Five minutes later*
Collins: Voila! It is magno cum perfecto.
Gabe: what?
Me and Natalie: Finished with greatness. God, take Latin!
Gabe: Well, you see, that's kind of hard considering that I'M DEAD!
Collins: Ok, Maureen, do you have the clover?
Maureen: um….
Joanne: Maureen, that's a cowbell.
Maureen: Oops. *pulls out clover* found it!
Collins: ok, ready? 1.…2...
Me: Wait, is this gonna hurt?
Collins: 3!
Scene 6:
*On dust speck, Whoville! We all wear yellow*
Me: AWESOME!
Gabe: Holy shit, where are we?
Me: This is Whoville!
Mayor: We're Whos here, we are Whos here, smaller than the eye can see. It's true sir, we're Whos, Whos sir, I'm a Who and so is she!
*enter Mrs. Mayor*
Mr./Mrs. Mayor: We're tiny little people blowing by in the air, wondering how and why! We're on Who! The tiniest planet in the sky!
Gabe: Well…that was informative.
Mayor: I'm the Mayor of Who, why I've just been elected. And upright behavior is thusforth expected.
Natalie: He….rhymes….
Mrs. Mayor: We're going to speak with our council today, and we're hoping that they'll have some good things to say. If you're hungry, there's schlopp in the fridgeamarator.
Here's a tour guide.
Mayor: And a pamphlet!
Both: And we'll both see you later.
Phil: Hello! I'm Phil the Who! I'll be your tour guide!
Gabe: Is anyone else thoroughly disturbed?
Natalie: Me.
Me: Me too. Hey, Phil. Do you know a double Agent DD?
Phil: hmmm….the name sounds familiar…
Me: I TOLD you she was here!
Phil: Let's look it up in the phonebook!
*Phone book is 50 feet tall and dusty*
Natalie: Holy. Shit.
Gabe: That is one HELL of a book….
Phil: DD…..DD….here's DA, DB, DC, DE….no DD. I'm sorry…
Gabe: in that thing? THERE'S NOT A SINGLE DD IN THAT F**KING THING?
Phil: Nope.
Gabe: OH MY GOD!
Me: Wait. If she's not in England, and she's not in New York, and she's not in Whoville, then that leaves…..
Natalie: Oh my God….you've got to be kidding me….
Gabe: You mean to say that we wasted all out precious time and money when she was right there where we STARTED?
Me: Yeah, pretty much!
Gabe: !
Me: We should go now….Bye Phil!
Scene 7:
*Back to normal size in NY*
Gabe: !
Me: Gabe's angry.
Mimi: Really.
Gabe:…...
Angel: You okay, honey?
Gabe: I'm fine…..I just needed to get that off my chest….
Maureen: But there's nothing on your chest. Except your shirt. ARE YOU GONNA TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF?
Me: !
Joanne: MAUREEN! That's enough!
Me and Maureen: Dream-crusher….
Me: No, I'm just kidding! I love you Joanne!
Joanne: I don't even know you….
Natalie: Looks like we're going back home. Again.
Me: Thanks guys! We'll see you all later! Roger, stop being annoying, Mimi, get a more modest wardrobe, Maureen and Joanne, keep up the fighting, Collins and Angel, stay cute! Mark, I LOVE YOU! And Benny….you're an asshole.
Benny: Thanks.
Me: Ok! Let's go!
Scene 8:
*At N2N eye house*
DD: Hey, thanks again for letting me use your basement as a secret mission hideout.
Diana: oh, it's ok. We don't use it anyway.
DD: Then why is it here?
Diana: I dunno….DO I LOOK LIKE A GENIUS TO YOU? Ooops! Heh heh…darn bipolar disorder…
DD: ok….Hey, I wonder if they ended up going to all those destinations then they realized that I've been here the whole time!
Diana: That would be HILARIOUS! *starts crying*
DD: But you just said it was hilarious?
Diana: *giggling* well, yeah, but I'm bipolar! I can have a random mood swing at *DEATHLY ANGRY* ANY GIVEN MOMENT!*happy and cutesy* See?
DD: Yeah…..
*I enter with Gabe and Natalie*
Diana: *crying* oh my God! You're back!
Natalie: See? I told you she hates me.
Gabe: DD!
DD: GABEY!
Me: We went to all those locations and then I realized that you were right where we started.
DD: Wow, that's really stupid of you.
Me:…...
DD: Oh, Gabey, now that my memory is fully back, there is one more thing I have to do.
Gabe: What's that?
DD: We must resurrect Dr. Madden from the dead.
Gabe: um…why?
Diana: *Happy* Dr. Madden died?
Natalie: you're happy?
Diana: *happy* No! I'm depressed!
Me: Well, me and DD were talking in the last installment and we both figured that he needs to come back cuz he's awesome.
Gabe: ….
*DD gets the Electro-Shocky Thing 4001 from episode 1 with the lifeless body of Dr. Madden*
Diana: Eeew…
Me: ok, we need electricity!
*Fires up machine*
Me: hey, this is just like Young Frankenstein!
*Machine shocks Dr. Madden until it's done*
Me: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! IT'S ALIVE!
Gabe: Ok, why didn't anyone think of this for me?
Dr. Madden: GAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGH!
Me: MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Enter HENRY!*
Henry: Um…am I missing something?
Natalie: No.
Henry: Hey! You're back from all those miscellaneous places!
Natalie: Yep…
Me: Ok, Dr. Madden, out story's ending and I know you can speak. HIT IT DD!
*plays Irving Berlin's "Puttin' On the Ritz*
Me: if you're blue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits?*snaps fingers*
Dr. Madden: PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ!
Me: Dressed up like a million dollar trooper. Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper.
Dr. Madden: SUPER DUPER!
Me: Come let's mix with Rockefellers walk with sticks or umbrellas in their midst.
Dr. Madden: PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ!
Me: See? I told you it would work!
Gabe: Yeah….
DD: Oh, Gabe! Aren't you glad that we're finally together?
Gabe: Yes, my love, it is true!
DD: Kiss me you fool!
*Gabe and DD kiss in a sunset*
Henry: Aw, what the hell?
*kisses Natalie*
Diana: COME HERE YOU BIG LIFELESS LUMP OF WHATEVER IT IS YOU ARE!
*Kisses Dr. Madden*
Me: hey, that's not fair. I don't have anyone to kiss…
*enter Squeegee Man*
Squeegee Man: Honest Living?
Me: AMEN!
*kisses Squeegee Man*
Random Narrator: And they all lived happily ever after. Well, at least for the next five minutes…
The end!
A/N: HAHAHAHA!
Reviews?