A Different Change of Heart
by Ginomo
As a Worf/Dax fan I have watched "Change of Heart" more times than I can count. It wasn't until reading a review of it that this idea came to me… what if the pivotal decision had been Jadzia's to make instead of Worf's? This story takes place during that episode, at the moment the Jem'Hadar discover Worf and Dax.
Chapter 1
As was always the case, moments in battle that took mere seconds seemed to last forever.
Jadzia and Worf were crouched down, watching as the Jem'Hadar patrol men stumbled onto their makeshift camp. The choice was to either let them pass or engage them in battle. Jadzia looked to Worf, her husband and Commanding Officer for the signal. The two were pinned and would be discovered any second- they'd have to fight.
With two well timed shots, Jadzia and Worf had the two patrols on the ground. Jadzia stood up, not noticing that there was a third coming toward them. It was as if time were slowed to a near stop. Worf could see the Jem'Hadar raise his weapon. Worf raised his own weapon as well but couldn't get a clear shot. He could, however, see who third patrol had his weapon trained on. And she was looking the other way.
"Jadzia!"
Calling her name was the wrong thing to do. Jadzia dropped her guard and looked back to Worf. As the Jem'Hadar positioned his hand to squeeze the trigger, Worf did the only thing he could do. He dove in front of his wife and hurled his mek'leth just as the disruptor blast left the barrel of the Jem'Hadar's weapon.
"Worf!"
Her scream was blood curdling. Both Worf and the Jem'Hadar soldier lifelessly dropped to the ground. All three Jem'Hadar now lay motionless on the jungle floor. Jadzia dropped to her knees next to Worf. He was lying face down and it took all her strength to roll his body over. When she did she gasped.
"Jadzia…" Worf's voice was barely a whisper.
"Oh no. No, no, no..." her voice was reduced to a whimper. Worf had been shot in the gut, his uniform was burned and blood was beginning to pool. Jadzia's hands fumbled for the medkit in her bag. She scanned him and pressed a pain relieving hypo into his neck. He did not object, which meant he must really be hurting.
"I could not let him shoot you," Worf said apologetically as he tried to sit up.
"Shh, don't move," She looked at the read out, "You took the full blast from his disruptor," she was trying hard to maintain her composure but her voice was shaking, "There is damage to several organs and the blast left behind an anticoagulant in your system."
Even in nothing but moonlight, Worf could see the panic in her face, "We have to keep moving. We still have twelve kilometers to go."
"Not until I bandage this."
She worked quietly for a moment, doing the best she could with their limited supplies. This was more than even Worf's resilient Klingon physiology could take- he was going to need real medical attention and fast.
"Water, please…"
Jadzia supported his head as he drank. She hoped that the darkness hid the tears that were slowly spilling from her eyes. Worf thanked her as she prepped a vial of plasma to give him.
"There. That's the best I can do but you need to rest. We have been going all day without a break through dense jungle. Let the plasma work it's way into your system before we keep moving."
"We cannot stay here," Worf used all the strength he had to hoist himself onto his feet "Someone will come looking for them. We must get to Lasaran as quickly as we can now."
"You are hurt, Worf. Very badly," she said quietly, "Moving is only going to make the bleeding worse."
Worf could see the tears she was trying to hide from him, "Staying here is not an option. We must at least distance ourselves from them. Two or three more kilometers and we will rest."
Jadzia nodded and stood with him.
"We should gather our things, we can not have any evidence that we were here."
The two of them walked through the night. They were quiet, partly because they wanted to draw as little attention to themselves as possible, but mostly because neither wanted to state the obvious. Worf was indeed hurt very badly, as Jadzia had said. He was leading the way, but his steps were slow and labored. She listened as his breathing progressively become more shallow and ragged.
"Slow down, Worf, you are going to wear yourself out."
"I am fine," he replied, without looking back at her.
Jadzia stopped, "No, you are not. Look, it's almost sunrise and we can stop here at least for a few hours. I'm tired."
Worf didn't argue and this time, they didn't bother setting up camp. Jadzia watched as her husband wearily sank down to the ground and fell asleep almost instantly. She was tired just as she said but sleep did not come to her. She lay next to him wondering what she was going to do. Moving through the jungle was extremely slow, they had to cut a path through dense foliage, often stopping for long periods of time while Jem'Hadar patrol units went by. Worf would push himself until he dropped dead, of that she was certain. There was no way she was going to watch him do that, yet what other choice did she have?
Worf awoke to searing pain in his abdomen and Jadzia changing a blood soaked bandage. The painkillers had obviously worn off.
"Did you sleep at all?" he asked.
Jadzia could see his eyes tightly squeezed shut. She gave him more of the painkillers that he'd never ask for but needed very much, "Mmm hmm."
"You are lying." Worf said, eyes still closed but more relaxed.
"Oh, am I?"
"I can always tell."
"You know me so well," she said with a small smile.
"I am sorry, Jadzia."
His eyes were open now, and he was looking right at her.
"Sorry? You have nothing to apologize for. There was no way we could have known those soldiers were coming towards us."
"I let my guard down. Had I been focused and alert they never would have gotten so close."
"Worf we were both-"
"No," Worf managed to raise his voice, "I am the commanding officer and your husband. It is my duty to make sure things like this do not happen."
"Blaming yourself isn't going to fix this," Jadzia replied.
She was right. "How much farther do we have?"
Jadzia stood and sighed, "Nine kilometers by nightfall."
"We can make it."
"I did some scouting while you rested. There is a gorge up ahead. We either scale it or go around it," she sighed again, "But it's massive. Going around it will take too much time, especially since they are bound to be looking for us by now."
"Then we scale it."
Jadzia didn't reply.
Once again Worf mustered all his strength to stand, "We scale it."
There was a knot in the pit of her stomach. There was no way Worf could make it down that gorge, not to mention the fact that getting to Lasaran was only half the journey. They'd have to make it back up again and trek back through the jungle before she could get him to the runabout.
"Do you want to rest while I keep watch?" Worf asked. He could see the worry in his wife's face and wanted to appear as in control as he possibly could.
She quickly wiped her eyes before tears started again, "No, let's get moving."
This time it was Jadzia who led, using Worf's mek'leth to cut through the jungle. Periodically she had to stop so he could catch up. Her heart was breaking for him on so many levels. Worf was always the strong one, always the one who could fight through anything. Yet she knew this was more than he could handle. She did her best not to look back so he wouldn't think she was as worried as she was. He was trying to be strong and Jadzia was trying to preserve the illusion that he was still in control.
Worf was accepting the realization that he couldn't go on much better than Jadzia gave him credit for. He tried to keep up, but his pace was slowing and as a result he was slowing her down. His head was swimming and he was getting dizzier, sure signs that the blood loss was taking its toll on him. Worf began stumbling over his own feet and before he knew what was happening, the ground was coming up to meet him.
Jadzia heard the thud as Worf collapsed behind her, "Oh no, Worf," she once again dropped to her knees and rolled him over. He'd bled through his bandage. One more pain hypo and another vial of plasma went into his neck as she cradled his head in her lap. Worf was still unconscious.
"Open your eyes Worf. Wake up, dammit!"
His eyes fluttered open, "Jadzia…"
"I'm here. Just give the medicine a minute and you'll be fine."
"You are lying again."
She was. His blood pressure had dropped again and his neural EDL readings were erratic. Instead of trying to deny it, she just stroked his hair and no longer fought back her tears.
"I will never make it down the gorge."
"Yes, you will. I'm going to help you."
"No," he replied calmly, "Commander, you must-"
Jadzia shook her head "Don't do that. Don't give me any orders you know I can't follow."
Once last time Worf forced himself to sit up, "Dax," he began again, still calm, "You must continue on without me. I will never make it to the rendezvous point and an attempt to do so will simply slow you down and jeopardize both of us."
"What about you?"
"You will leave me here and continue on. We have a mission to do and the information Lasaran has could be potentially invaluable to the war effort," Worf paused, not wanting to say what he was about to, but knowing it was necessary, "That is an order, Commander."
Jadzia took a deep breath, trying her best to calm herself and be the Starfleet Officer she was supposed to be," I will be back here as fast as I can, and can have you in the stasis chamber in the runabout in 45 hours."
Worf nodded in agreement. The reality was that they both knew he'd be dead in 45 hours.
Jadzia began to gather her things. She fastened his mek'leth to her pack and placed his phaser rifle next to him, "Anyone comes close to you at all, shoot first, ask questions later."
Worf smiled, "I always do."
"Hey, was that a smile?"
"When this mission is over, I will smile all you want."
They sat in silence, Worf now leaning against a tree and Jadzia kneeling next to him. She reach out and stroked his hair. Worf savored the touch he knew he'd probably never feel again.
"If I have any regrets, it's that I didn't say yes to you sooner," she whispered, finally breaking the silence.
"Do not regret anything. It is I who was not ready to be the husband you deserved."
Jadzia leaned forward and the two kissed, each knowing it would probably be the last time but neither being able to actually say goodbye. She stood and began to walk away, but had to look back one last time. Worf's eyes were already closed and his chest was heaving rapidly. He'd been holding it together for her sake- the end was a lot nearer than he let on.
Dax had always had a bit of an impulsive streak. Right then she know there was no way she could take another step away from her husband. Her hand reached into the medkit and she pulled out the hypospray. She programmed it to act as a sedative and pressed it into his neck. Worf's breathing slowed and he was now unconscious.
"Think, Dax think. How am I going to get him back to the runabout?" If the situation had been reversed, Worf could have just carried her out of the jungle, but there was no way Jadzia would be able to manage that. She'd had to think and think fast. Time was ticking in two directions- Worf was getting worse and Lasaran's rendezvous time was getting closer.
She pulled one of the tricorders they'd deactivated out of her pack. Just as Lasaran had said, there were transporter scramblers protecting this atmosphere of the planet. That didn't mean she couldn't do a land based transport, though. Lasaran had given them access codes to the Dominion sensor net and Jadzia could use them to punch a hole in it long enough to transport Worf back to the runabout. She'd posed this idea to Worf as a method of rescuing Lasaran but they both quickly dismissed it. The Dominion would definitely notice that kind of breach in their system and they'd come looking for whatever was causing it.
But what other choice did she have? If she didn't try to transport him to the ship, Worf would die. Yet if she did, the Dominion could trace the transport, find the runabout and kill all of them. The third option, Jadzia successfully punching through the net and getting Worf back to the ship without detection, was the only scenario where her husband lived.
Her fingers were flying across the small control panel- Dax the scientist had taken over. She pulled out Worf's tricorder as well and used it to boost the signal from hers. She had a link to the runabout and the transporter was online. Now to disable the sensor net. Jadzia had to time it just right so that the net was compromised only long enough for Worf's pattern to materialize on the runabout. As it was, they were going to notice. She decided to mask the transport by sending a power surge through the net at the same time. Maybe they'd think it was a technical glitch.
Jadzia looked at her husband one last time. Even getting him back to the runabout was no guarantee he'd live, but it was the best she could do. She kissed his forehead, counted to three, and simultaneously disabled the net with one tricorder and engaged the transporter with the other. She watched as his form took on the familiar transparent haze of transporting. Worf's pattern phased in and out, no doubt from the power surge going through the sensor net. After a few agonizing moments, he was gone.
Dax sat there looking at the empty place where his body had been and felt surprisingly alone. There was no time to ponder the what ifs- if the Dominion found the runabout then so be it. At least she could live with herself, albeit for a short amount of time, knowing she tried to save him.
Jadzia began running in the direction of the gorge. She'd have to make up a lot of time to get to Lasaran by nightfall. And then they'd have to trek all the way back to the runabout on foot, Jadzia having no idea what kind of physical shape Lasaran was in. As much as she wanted to, she could not risk using the transporter again; she really shouldn't have done it the first time.
Getting Worf back to the runabout was pointless without her there to help him and fly him home to DS9. He might as well have been still propped up against that tree. It would still be 45 hours before she could get to Lasaran and get back, and Worf would still be dead.
"Unless I go back right now."
Jadzia stopped in her tracks and said the words aloud, as if uttering them were her way of asking for permission for what she was about to do. Out here, there was no one to ask and no one to tell her no. Jadzia Dax has a mission, but Jadzia Dax also had a husband.
She looked forward, "At least another 12 hours to get to Lasaran and a day and a half to get back to Worf," She spun around and looked backwards, "Or I could just go back right now and have Worf on the way to DS9 in half that time."
There was no one to ask and no one to tell her no.