Notes: set during episode 110.
i must go on standing
you can't break that which isn't yours
i must go on standing
i'm not my own, it's not my choice
- regina spektor, "après moi"
The waitress has long nails painted brightly red and wears two silver rings on the middle finger of her right hand.
Michiru lowers her eyes and licks her lips, says, "thank you," in a soft voice when she receives her tea. She purses her lips and blows on the steaming liquid before taking a sip.
She puts the cup down and gives Haruka a small smile.
Stop looking at me like that, her eyes say. Her nostrils flare slightly as she inhales through them, although Haruka doesn't know if she's taking a deep breath or breathing in the scent of her hot tea.
If Haruka were to close her eyes and listen, really listen, she would hear the faint stirrings of the ocean beneath Michiru's calm, quiet exterior.
Michiru is the calm before the storm and her blue eyes are set at a slow boil, utterly focused on something in her mind and Haruka is almost certain that she's thinking of.
"Are you worried?" she asks, her voice low and rumbling in her chest.
Michiru shakes her head slightly, a tiny smile forming around the corners of her mouth. "No," she says. "No, I am not worried."
"Why not?" Sometimes Haruka thinks she knows Michiru inside and out but then how much can you really know someone?
And Michiru's smile widens and she sort of plays with the handle of her teacup as she says, "Because I have you. Because I think that if we are together, we can do anything."
Haruka leans over the table and kisses Michiru on the mouth.
The flight to the cathedral would have been silent, except Michiru turns to Haruka and says, "Whatever happens – if one of us falls, the other has to continue on. We cannot let them win."
Haruka nods and promises to honor that agreement because she thinks that death cannot and will not happen to them.
The thing about Haruka is that she never lies.
This is the first time she lies and she doesn't think she'll survive to tell another.
Because Michiru – her Michiru, her sister, her friend, her companion, her lover, her everything – her Michiru looks so small and pale and helpless tied to the flat red stone with the Cupid and his bow and arrows embossed on one side and it seems like everything slows down until time finally comes to a stop as Haruka attempts to swallow around the stone in her throat.
"Neptune!" she yells, but she really thinks, Michiru, for she is Michiru now – she is made of flesh and blood and she is utterly human.
Haruka can handle the pain of the gunshot blasts (of course she can, she is a warrior and has suffered worse pain in both this life and her past one and the cuts will close and the bruises will heal) but seeing Michiru like that is the deepest wound she thinks she will ever face.
(But she'll be all right, Haruka thinks, Haruka knows because they are young and clever and they are a team and Haruka doesn't plan on dying, not today and she won't die without Michiru. Therefore, Michiru will be all right.
(Right?)
Eudial is talking now, telling her that the Talismans are sealed inside of them and for a brief moment, Haruka vaguely remembers literary terms and thinks, irony with a smirk.
(Someday, she thinks, when we are old and sitting on our front porch and drinking coffee and eating biscuits, Michiru and I can laugh about this. Maybe.)
(Death? Death can't happen. Death won't happen.)
And then she hears a voice, "Haruka!" and Michiru has managed to escape her bonds and run across the floor.
Haruka knows what will happen before it does.
There is a gun pressed to her chest, but her mind is on the ones firing at Michiru.
Everything is a blur – Michiru says, "I won't let you die" (and Haruka thinks, "I won't, I can't, not without you") and the guns fire once, twice and then they are out of bullets and Michiru staggers towards Eudial.
A flash of light and Michiru falls.
Michiru falls and Michiru stays on the ground.
Her pure heart hovers above her and a mirror appears.
The first Talisman.
(Irony.)
The Messiah appears – but, wait, no, it's not the Messiah. It's that silly girl Usagi who calls herself a Sailor Senshi.
Forgive her, Haruka is not thinking clearly. Her head is in a fog because Michiru's blood is on the floor and on her fuku and on Haruka's hands.
This wasn't supposed to happen, Haruka thinks and her chest constricts with every breath. We weren't supposed to die. You weren't supposed to die. We were supposed to win our battles and defeat evil because doesn't love and goodness conquer all?
Usagi cannot be a Senshi because Usagi doesn't know true pain.
And Haruka, well – Haruka does.
She looks at Michiru and Michiru's beautiful, peaceful face and thinks that death might just be a welcome relief.
end.