Everything's Coming Up Roses
By: Mytay
Rating: T - mostly because I feel the themes are mature enough to warrant the rating; "Glee" itself feels a little too adult to be rated K.
Summary: Takes place during Season 1, Episode 18: Burt watches Kurt perform "Rose's Turn", and is both in awe and aching to see Kurt so wrecked.
Disclaimer: I do not own, nor claim to own, anything Glee related, not the characters or situation presented in this one-shot. And I'm glad of it, because I could never do what these writers just did.
IMPORTANT TO NOTE that I also don't own any of the dialogue in this scene, except for what comes after the 'I love you's. The title is a line from the original Rose's Turn, as well as the title of another song performed in "Gypsy", most famously sung by the fantastic Ethel Merman – go look it up on Youtube if you're interested.
OOOOOOOOOOOOO
Burt has just finished cancelling his dinner with Finn when he steps into the auditorium. He can't find Kurt anywhere else in the school, and he knows Kurt well enough to know that if he isn't drowning his sorrows by primping in front of his locker, or in a bathroom, or working out his vocal chords in the Glee room, he's somewhere with a stage. That's just how his boy works – or at least that was how his boy had worked until these very strange past few days and his son's even stranger behaviour.
He walks into an auditorium that is almost completely dim, except for the stage lights. There, on the stage, is Kurt, looking like Kurt again, crazy scarf and all, almost vibrating as the song kicks off. Burt begins walking down the steps just as Kurt opens his mouth to let out the first note.
He freezes as he watches his son sing like he's never seen anyone sing before. It's so damned impressive that he feels his jaw drop a bit, because up until recently he's heard Kurt sing like an angel most of the time, but this is not heavenly. This is so angry and frustrated that his voice literally tears out of him at some points, and it has Burt staring, because damn, his kid has talent. But that's not what takes his breath away – the sheer level of hurt in it, the pain, is what does it.
Ultimately, he just wants Kurt to stop because it's hurting Burt to watch it, no matter how amazing Kurt is.
His feet start moving on their own as Kurt slides and leaps from one end of the stage to the other, and by the time he's half shouted, half growled out his finale, Burt has hit the first row and started clapping.
Kurt jerks up from his crouched position.
"That's some serious singing, kid," he says with a smile, because he really is proud of what Kurt can do.
But all his son does is watch him with wet blue eyes, explaining, "That was Rose's Turn," while adjusting his hair and trying to act normal even though his voice is already wavering.
Burt nods as he approaches, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. "Hey, I could get into that, maybe." It sounded a hell of a lot better than Riverdance, in his modest opinion.
"What happened to the hoagies?" Kurt asks, hands on his hips, sounding like he doesn't care, but Burt knows better.
"Ah, blew it off, you know, too much cholesterol." He figures Kurt might like that, considering he's always nagging Burt about his bacon and burgers and other fried foods, but Kurt doesn't even acknowledge it. He just keeps looking at Burt with a watery stare.
"I bet Finn was disappointed."
"He understood once I told him how bent out of shape I thought you were." He's watching Kurt closely as the boy shrugs in response – which is really more of a shoulder shake, trembling along with his voice as he tries to dismiss the tension.
"Me, I'm fine."
Burt sees the tears he keeps swallowing down.
"Kurt." He drops the casual attitude. "I'm dumb, but I'm not stupid. And I have no idea what that song was about, but 'fine' don't sing how you just sung."
Kurt rolls his eyes a bit, trying to scoff, but it comes out like a wet gasp.
"Look." He comes closer. "Maybe I got carried away, doing stuff with Finn – but I told you this thing with you was going to be hard."
" 'Thing' with me? You mean being gay?" Kurt's smiling humourlessly and nodding as if he knew it all along.
Maybe he did, but he was clearly not getting Burt's side of this; he can feel his son's pain like it's something he could touch by itself.
"Yeah, being gay. Look, I will fight to the death for your right to love whoever you want" – he knows he's cracking a bit here, but he's feeling raw right now, and he hates having to say this next part, but Kurt needs to understand – "but when you were a little baby in my arms, did I dream about taking you to ballgames and talking about girls? Yeah, I did. A lot of fathers do."
The despair in Kurt's eyes is cutting into him as his boy breathes out, "I had no idea how disappointing I was." He turns away and Burt will not let him keep on thinking this crap about him being a disappointment. He raises his voice, frustrated but not angry, as he speaks to Kurt's back.
"Hey, come on now, stop it right now. I'm talkin' straight to you, don't go playing the victim. You know that's not what I mean."
Kurt's facing him again, looking like he's starting to lose grip on what little control he has over himself.
"I know." He sounds like he's already crying, voice dropping and cracking all over the place. "I'm sorry. I know you're working hard on yourself to make this all okay." Kurt visibly keeps trying to stop the tears that are inevitable at this point. "Just seeing you . . . the way you are with Finn, how easy it is . . ."
Burt finally cracks in the face of this, because Kurt is falling to pieces in front of him. Kurt is so insecure about Burt's feelings surrounding this whole gay thing that he actually thinks Burt could love Finn more, choose Finn over Kurt and that's so wrong. Kurt is his, and he wouldn't trade him for a million Finns.
"Breaks my heart," Kurt finishes, control slipping at last. He faces away again, whole body shaking, and Burt sees everything that has happened with Kurt in the past few days with a new clarity of mind.
"Is that why you were pretending to date that daffy cheerleader and dressing differently, and singing Mellencamp?" Now his voice is the one shaking all over the place.
Kurt turns back to face him. "Just want you to know that" – a hard, audible gulp –"that I'm going to work as hard as you to make this okay."
Oh, kiddo, no. "You don't have to work hard at anything, Kurt. Your job . . . is to be yourself." He swallows, feeling stinging at the corner of his eyes at the hope starting to emerge in place of his kid's heartbroken expression. "And my job is to love you, no matter what, okay? That and a majority ownership in a tire store – that's all we got. Okay, we stick to that, and we're going to be great."
Kurt is nodding, too sad and tired to smile, but he says, quietly, thickly, "I missed you, dad."
And Burt just loses it himself at that, choking out a, "C'mere," grabbing him and hugging him close. He squeezes him tightly and fights off his own crying jag as Kurt slots himself into shoulder, burying his face there like he's done since he was a baby.
"I love you," Burt manages to say without too much wavering in his voice.
Kurt gasps out, "I love you too," and Burt shuts his eyes tight, but one tear manages to make its escape. And another. After a minute, he figures it's all good, considering the dampness he feels spreading on his shoulder.
He gives Kurt one last, hard squeeze before pulling back reluctantly, arms still around his son's shoulders. "You and I are going to that burger place that serves those salads you like so much, and you're going to tell me a bit more 'bout where that song comes from."
Kurt's wiping at this eyes, but finally, finally, there's a real smile tugging on his lips. "Promise me you'll order a salad side instead of french fries – watching you down all that cholesterol makes me want to hurl on your behalf. Or maybe just on you, in an effort to put you off it for life."
Burt grins. "Right, not even you ralphing on me will make me give up on those babies, but I'll order a salad too, if that makes you happy."
"Order whatever you want, dad, just don't expect me to stay quiet about the many ways those fried atrocities will eventually eat a hole through your insides." Kurt tosses his head a little and Burt has really missed that sassy attitude these past few days.
His son slips away to grab his bag, but as soon as he's close enough again, Burt throws an arm over his shoulder. "So, I bet if you sing that for Schuester, you'll get a solo for sure."
Kurt smiles tentatively. "It's another girl song, dad."
Burt gives him a blank look. "And? Did you miss what I said three seconds ago?"
Kurt opens his mouth, but Burt won't have whatever self-sacrificing or self-pitying line leave it. He tugs him closer to his side. "I want tickets to your next show, whenever that is – and if I order a salad today, you have to share some of my fries with me."
Kurt rolls his eyes. "Fine. The things I'm willing to do for you, father –"
Burt feels his heart clench even though Kurt's only joking. " 'Bout as much as I'm willing to do for you – including downing rabbit food."
Kurt is narrowing his eyes, probably ready to launch into some speech about the benefits of leaves over dead cow and fried potatoes, and Burt just lets him go for it as they walk out to the car. All his outings with Finn were fun, and yes, a little easier than conversing with Kurt, but this was much more satisfying; it felt warm and complete. Like being with his wife had been.
His son was gay, but that wasn't all he was, and it wasn't the defining thing about him either. The defining thing about him was that he was his son, and he was going to try his damnedest never to let Kurt forget that. Ever.
Even if it meant downing a few dozen salads and sitting through yet another musical something-or-other that bored him to tears. Though if this Rose's Turn thing was even half as good as his kid had just sung it, Burt thinks he may actually enjoy it for once. Best of all, sharing that with Kurt, watching his son's face light up at a common interest, would make Burt as happy as he could be. Smiling broadly at Kurt, who was nattering on about vegetable servings, Burt finds himself feeling content and sure that all was right in the world, if only for this moment.
OOOOOOOOOOOOO
Author's Note: Wow. Glee's really doing a number me if it's forcing me to come out of hiding to post fic. The Kurt and Burt storylines usually get to me, but Chris Colfer's performance of 'Rose's Turn', immediately followed by this amazing scene, were just a one-two punch of awesome that left me wired, and this was the result of me trying to work out that nervous energy.
I apologize for any mistakes, as it is unbetaed. Thanks for reading if you've made it to the end! Reviews and critiques would be welcome.