Title: For Those Grim With Glee: The Earl's Song
Authoress: Lady Constantine
Fandom from Which This Fiction Hails: D.Gray-man
Genre: Humor
Warnings: Rated K+.
Summary:
Heeeeeeeey-O ladies and gentlemen. Here comes the Millennium Earl! We all know he is a cruel fellow with crueler eyes. That always serves a heaping healthy cup of despise (With every meal). But we say nothing, for if so our story is wrought. Just stay awhile and learn the lesson to be taught.
Author's Note: My first D.Gray-man fic. It's a one-shot poem-ish humor ballad. A small dedication to the Earl you might say. Enjoy!
For Those Grim With Glee: The Earl's Song
A little dash of insane
A healthy does of tears
A cup full of pain
And an ample some of fears
"Heeeeeeeey-O ladies and gentlemen. Here comes the Millennium Earl!" shouted the eager Akuma announcer. "Come on, come on! Come on and see!"
Now why would anyone get so uptight about seeing such a sight?
Easy because he promised to save them from plight.
We all know he is a cruel fellow with crueler eyes
That always serves a heaping healthy cup of despise (With every meal)
But we say nothing, for if so our story is wrought
Just stay awhile and learn the lesson to be taught.
He is a man of great deeds
A Victorian prince as some may call
But truly he plants evil seeds
In the hearts of many-with little dolls
A rotund man with a cape and a top hat
With a grin that could out shine the sun
Born to give heart attacks
Or make mine beat like a drum
Polite, courtesy and dressed to the nines
The Earl's got a way with people
Trust him and life will be sublime-
For a little while-soon you'll be hanging from the steeples
Cheery with pain
Grim with glee
Clearly insane
And causing misery
"You're too kind," The Earl tipped his hat. I suspect he was expecting a pat on the back.
Laugh it up now
O ye barer or dismay
Just fix up your cowl
Tell us what you must say
"Yes tell us what you must say!" The eager audience cried out.
"Save us, O save us, Earl if you may!"
"Alright you've convinced me, I'll show you my life's work.
I've got a pip in my step and a bit of a quirk.
I'll make your lovers come back alive.
It's going to be swell.
Then I'll take your lives,
And drag your body to hell."
The audience gasped at the moment of truth,
"Just kidding,"
And then they thought no more of the aloof.
He was a sadist with a hint of masochist pride.
"Build em better, build them stronger, build em bigger! Was his team's eerie cry.
The cruel Earl sat on his seat humming a tune,
"All those squeamish, now leave the room."
He took out a leg, an arm, and a spade,
The audience gasped, "Think nothing of it, they're tools of the trade."
He twisted and mangled and put things together,
Until he was sure it was better than the sunshiny weather.
The Audience gasped as he put his work on display,
"Alas, it's done! Now what do you all say?"
"Dear Earl, Dear Earl, will this bring little Jimmy back?"
"Why yes," he grinned, "And that's a fact."
"What do we do, what do we need,
Oh good earl just tell us please!"
The grim glee'd Earl smiled a but wider
And down on his nose crawled a spider...
"That's an easy one..."
A little dash of insane
A healthy does of tears
A cup full of pain
And an ample some of fears...
Give me your souls and your one and onlies
And I'll make sure hell is never lonely
Come on all let's play along!
Let's all sing my wicked song!"
And all chanted the song and thought nothing of the lyrics
Clearly proclaiming their doom-but too dumb to hear it.
So the crowds came from all over the city
Not knowing there bloodied fate-what a pity...
A/N: I know I'm supposed to be working on other fanfics, but give me a break TwT summer makes me sluggish.