i hate the homecoming queen

by micahskitty

Baby, I'm a sex-a-sarus not a Tied-down-Rex. I don't do this dating crap." "But you did," she reminded him in a low voice that was almost cute. Man, being a stud was such a curse and he always knew it would come back to bite him on the you-know-what.

this is inspired by emily osments 'i hate the homecoming queen'.

summary (detailed): because she does have more than just a dream of being on broadway; she wants to be accepted, liked, and she wishes that just once someone would choose her over quinn. the best way to get all of this? beat quinn in the upcoming races. puck just gets volunteered (unwillingly) for the ride.

note: i don't know where any of this came from but it got started and i just couldn't stop so i apologize for it being so lengthy and long and somewhat choppy but i think it's somewhat fun and maybe satisfying? i would love to hear your thoughts.

He doesn't even know how it came to pass that he was the one who knew Rachel Berry better than any of the other Glee members. For example he knew that her favorite color was actually green, not pink, but pink was just easier to sleep with and color-coordinate for.

And he knew that she wore her hair up when out of school because it was easier to manage and that she liked that small freckle at the nape of her neck, just below the hair line because it was a 'private mark'.

But if you asked him if he knew this shit - he would deny it.

He didn't know these things because he cared for her and if anyone questioned that he would simply ask them what they smoked and where he could get some because that was some seriously good shit.

Puck just happened to notice her more than anyone else. Then again, it was impossible not to since she was so loud, constantly talking or humming or singing. Seriously. He was convinced that birds and wildlife helped her dress in the morning while they all chirped out some merry tune.

And that thought? It was enough to terrify the fuck out of him. Not only was it a horrible image inspired by too many disney movies (shut up, he has a sister, okay?) but it's just proof that he spends way too much time thinking about this girl and her crazy.

So he became determined to simply screw whatever walked by and banish all thoughts of that girl and her knee socks. And okay, maybe he tried to stick to thin, scantily clad blondes because they were her opposite. And yeah, maybe once or twice he talked the chick into leaving her socks on. That doesn't mean shit, alright?

Alright, so shoving all this feelings and shit to the side, Puck thinks it's pretty normal to notice when Rachel Berry is acting weird. First off, she's being quiet. Second? She's wearing jeans. Any other girl and this would be normal but her?

No, he's not a fan. Fuck that. How was he supposed to enjoy a rendevous with a Cheerio behind the bleachers without the image of her tanned legs in some bright fabric? He couldn't - which made him a tad more on edge than usual.

So when he tossed that kid in the dumpster? Totally her fault.

And when he accidentally tripped the girl carrying her lunch tray? Yeah, you guessed it; her problem.

It had been awhile since he went on a rampage and by the end of the day he might have felt sympathetic and maybe might have thought an apology (never aloud) towards the spoiled clothes and tarnished reputations. That was until he saw at her locker talking to that douche on his football team. Brad? Bitch? Whatever.

Before he knew it his locked was being slammed and the sound was enough to drown out the growl. Seriously? Berry and Brad? That's just fuckin' perfect. The guy wasn't even torturing her! Instead, he was giving her a slushie. Not even to the face.

He might have felt smug, might have smirked when he saw that it wasn't grape - her favorite - and instead some lame cherry crap that she hated. The one time he tried to give her a cherry one she simply smiled, thanked him, and then gave it to Tina to avoid throwing it away. But when Brad gave her one? Oh, she sipped that shit and kept it despite the trash bin being two feet away.

Oh hell no. Now she was laughing? What. the. hell. What alternate dimension had he landed in? Maybe that last fight had left him a little more brain damaged than usual. Or maybe he was going blind? Yeah, after Rachel grabbed the guys forearm with a grin, Puck was quite sure he was going blind. Or insane. Was her brand of crazy contagious? Because he's feeling the symptoms.

One of those symptoms was probably rage. Yeah, that'd explain why he shoved the nearest, smallest punk into the toliet without a second thought. Rachel Berry, a flirt? Fuck that noise. And he didn't care - he really, really didn't. He was just looking out for her because she's tiny and their key to kicking ass at regionals. Seriously. Maybe if that club started winning (not like it was hard - they already were more sucessful than the football team and their one win) then the harassment would decrease.

Not that he cared. People didn't bother to slushie him after that initial incident and two black eyes later put an end to that crap. It was mostly to boost his rep. Girls loved hearing about winners. Trophies were an aprodishiac, okay?

So the week was starting to roll by and it seemed like he had established a schedule; check out Rachel (jeans again?), kick some ass, take a nap, attend a class or two and then beat the shit out of Brad on the football field.

It was a pretty grand routine and he delighted in accomplishing it at the end of the day with a smug sense of satisfaction around him as he walked out of the shower room. Finn, who was speaking to him again now that he had Quinn back, approached him with a cocky grin that was always worn in the locker room.

"What's got you, man? I thought for sure you were going to kill Brad out there today."

Puck grunted and turned to his locker to find a shirt. One was crumpled up and he took it, sniffed it and threw it over his head. "Just followin' the plays."

Finn kept the smile as he nodded. "Uh huh. What about the play that had you two on the same team? You still tackled him."

"Honest mistake. All those colors can get confusing after so long in the sun..." Man, he was pathetic. That lie sounded lame even to him.

And it obviously sounded that way to Hudson too because the guy just nodded. "Yeah yeah, I gotcha. So who are you takin' to homecoming?"

Puck frowned because seriously? What kind of chick conversation was this? "Why the hell would I go to that?"

For a moment Finn simply blinked at Puck. Everyone always thought he was the dense of the two but Finn was starting to suspect otherwise. "...because you're in the Homecoming Court, buddy."

The hell? "The homecoming what?" Okay, maybe he saw one of those posters on the school wall but was it his fault that they made the best paper to roll up for spitballs? No. Which is why he didn't bother to pay any attention to what it said.

"King and Queen or whatever. Q totally thought we were going to get it but there's an actual race for it. You didn't know?" Finn explained this as though it was obvious.

"Hell no I didn't know. I've got better things to do than braid hair and get a medi pani- mani pedi? - what the hell ever. You used to. Remember those days? The days before the whipped era?" Puck heaved a sigh as though he was reminiscing on the days in question.

Finn delivered a blow to his arm that was some macho form of saying 'hey, too far' without actual words, but didn't some otherwise bothered by the statement. "Dude, you're so slow," he complained as they exited the locker room, only to pause at the entrance when they recgonized the form that was standing there. "Hey Rach. You look ... different." Finn cocked his head to the side while presenting a slow smile. "I like it!" He declared eventually.

Puck was not a fan. Yeah, those jeans were tight and managed to flaunt her dancers body. And yeah, maybe seeing her in a t-shirt was a welcome change to cardigans and fuzzy sweaters, but it wasn't Berry.

"Hi Finn," she started easily as she approached the pair. "I assumed that the both of you would congegrate after practice and merely wanted to stop by to speak to Noah about our obligations as part of the Court."

Remember that Adam Sandler movie with the remote (shut up, they're both Jews so of course Noah is a fan) that gave him the ability to rewind and pause? Yeah, Puck's wishing he had one of those right about now. Did that really just happen?

"Good luck Rachel. He didn't even know he was in it."

"He missed the nominations? Of course he did. His truancy was bound to effect him at some point or another." She may have changed outwardly but that ability to run her mouth? It came even with a new wardrobe. Refund, please.

"What did you do?" Puck narrowed his eyes at Rachel because he just knew (remember - he knows her best) that she had some sort of involvement in this. "Because I know no one else was crazy enough to think for a second I'd go along with any of it."

Finn had been Puck's long enough to notice the signs of anger - according to his mental check list, three out of the five signs were present. It was enough to cause him to mutter a quick goodbye and a charming smile before fleeing. It wasn't cowardly, naw, just self-perservation. Puck didn't fault him that.

Turns out Puck made the first mistake; he had asked her a question which meant she was responding, chipring out the answer to his question in rapid sucession. He caught the gist; popularity, tired of ridicule, hate Quinn, best choice...

Yeah, okay, maybe he could understand her reasoning but that did not mean he was any level of okay with any part of this situation. What she had done was unforgivable - she had signed him up for a dance. Fuck no, he's not afraid to show off his badass skills on the floor but one of those lame high school functions? He'd rather listen to Rachel.

Which is what he should have been doing from the start because now she was looking up at him with these wide, expectant eyes and pursed lips. "Well?"

Honestly he doesnt' know what to do now. If he admits that he wasn't listening it's just going to start her off on another tirade but he's too afraid (yeah, she's -that- scary when she's looking up at him with -that- look) to simply agree with whatever had been said. Mentally he's debating it and he decides that he'd rather just not hear her so he replied with a, "Yeah, okay. Whatever."

There. That was easy enough, right?

Too easy, "Great! Then you'll pick me up at eight? Also, wear something that has red." He groaned -too fucking easy- and just nodded because it's a little late to do much else. "And don't even think about not showing because I saw your mother at temple the other day and I am not afraid to tell her about her relationship and how you broke my Jewish heart."

That grin she has now? He would almost be proud if it wasn't being directed at him with the threat of a jewish guilt trip. Could this girl be any more diabolical? "You're kindof evil, you know that right?"

"I just like to get my way."

Comments like that could get him in trouble especially in a deserted hall but he lets it go. Things are complicated enough and Finn -just- started talking to him again. He starts screwing around with Berry and he's pretty sure they'll go back to the days of silence. Not that he would care all that much but he's certain that one night with Berry wasn't worth the silent treatment he'd recieve on X-Box Live when the next Call of Duty came out. Finn was his army brother and you just don't mess with that.

The next day he starts to see that maybe there's a perk to this homecoming business. For instance Rachel is back to a skirt that's ridiculous and short and her top is tight like a corset and he briefly (very fucking briefly) wonders if it came from Hummel.

"Lookin' good girl!" called Aaron Spence from over the crowd in the hallway. Another jock? Hitting on Berry? He swears he's going to wrap her up in stuffed animals (or her Gaga dress) and then stick her in a room so he never has to see this again.

"Thanks!" she said back, even while a blush started to spread over her cheeks. Yeah, okay, she's aware that her ass is -very- 'tappable' for lack of a better, less crude term, but she had been too focused on reaching Broadway to really bother with being sexual.

Now her goal was to be the Homecoming Queen and God save whoever stepped in her way. When she worked out that morning what did her chart say? Queen. And she would be just that.

Puck approached and managed to pull her away from the thoughts she seemed to be lost in with a low "Yo" that surpassed as a greeting.

"Yo yourself." He takes her books without a second thought and she almost smiled at the gesture but there was too much to discuss. "So now that you're aware of our situation I expect you to cooperate fully. After all, my win will be your win."

His eyebrow arched slowly. "How exactly does any of this get me a win Berry? Last I recall I didn't sign myself up for this shit."

Having been around him long enough his language doesn't seem to phase her. Instead of correcting him she launched into a well-planned, carefully rehearsed speech about the benefits of being royalty at this event.

It goes without saying that Puck is not listening to a word of it. Actually, it's not until she started to gesture for him to hand her the books he had taken from her that he even realizes she's stopped speaking.

Oh shit. She has -that- look again and he really, really does not know what to say because the last time he simply agreed to her request he had ended up at the mall later looking for something red because that was her demand.

"Uh... whatever you say."

Which apparently was the right thing to say because she is grinning and bouncing to the tips of her toes to brush a kiss against the stubble on his jawline and all he can do is stare. What? Did he hit the jackpot? Did she say she'd be his sex buddy? Have a threesome with him and Santana?

"I knew I could count on you. You're really not what you'd have everyone believe, Noah."

Fuck that noise. Now he knows he made a mistake because if she's encouraging him and doing that 'peering into his soul' shit again he's going to drop her and this insanity (which is what he should've done from the start - damn her and her looks).

Puck ran a hand through his 'hawk while he appeared disturbed for a moment. "What am I doing again?"

Rachel cannot help it. She sighed heavily and gave him a look that would send lesser men cowering. "Until the night of the dance you're going to pretend to date me, right?"

It was his turn to sigh which he did without delay. "Baby, I'm a sex-a-sarus not a Tied-down-Rex. I don't do this dating crap."

"But you did," she reminded him in a low voice that was almost (don't ever fuckin' repeat it) cute and as soon as the thought crossed his mind he's near the point where he's going to tear what little hair he has off his head.

Fuck, man, being a stud was a curse and he knew it would bite him in the ass one day. But then again she is standing there with those big eyes wide and expressive while she watched him progress this -for real, this time- and it doesn't take long for him to take advantage of the situation.

Before either of them really understands what is happening she's pressed against the row of lockers that decorate the walls outside the classroom and he's so close that she nearly goes cross-eyed trying to keep him in her line of sight.

"What are you doing?" She hisses while pulling her books tight against her chest to keep some semblance of space between her body and his.

That smirk he gives? It's no Noah, all Puck, and she thinks she understands what Mercedes meant when she called him a sinister shark of sex because he just oozes appeal. "I'm doing what you said."

His breath smells faintly of cinammon and mountain dew and it was warm, like him, and then her eyes are closed and she doesn't have a clue why but she was desperate for him to continue this train of thought because it feels so good. "And what's that?"

"As your boyfriend," he murmurs, close enough that his lips tickle her cheek and the words seem to go through her pores to her ears, "I can kiss you" he puckers then, brushes his lips against her cheek in a move that is both delightful and unnerving "whenever -" now he's on the other side of her face, another kiss to the cheekbone that was being pelted by the fluttering of her dark lashes "and wherever I want."

By this point she is literally trembling because the tables seemed to have turned and for once she has absolutely no control over the sitaution or either of their actions. His tongue scraped against her bottom lip quickly replaced by his teeth. It's rough and so completely and utterly Puck that she can't help but to respond by pressing her own against his and finally stealing a kiss.

The bell rings before either can really respond and somehow she gathered some Superman strength and shoved him away to pivot on heel and march into the classroom in a matter that he's all too familiar with playing witness to after several Glee bitchfits and infamous storm-outs.

He debates going to his own class and eventually shrugs, thinks fuck it and walked out to his truck where he plans on spending the day away from school, away from Crazy.

Just down the hall Kurt is dramatically flapping his hand to soothe the fake beads of sweat that sprouted with what he had just witnessed. "They've got my vote."

Mercedes slipped her arm into his proffered one and as they head down the hall she can't help but concur because yeah, they've definitely got hers.

-*/*-

It is a little easier to be Berry's (faux) boyfriend than he thought. This time their relationship is even more of a sham than the last time they dated but he is enjoying it immensely because he gets his way more often than not.

"Wanna make out?"

"No, I have homework to do and my dads could be home at any minute."

"I'll get everyone on the football team to vote for us." Well, he'd threaten to kick their ass if they didn't, but she doesn't need to know that.

Magical words, abrafuckingkadabra because the next thing he knows they're making out. She may be the only girl in the entire universe that he doesn't try to get progress it, he won't even use his 'I'll get us votes' line when it comes to reaching second base.

Their charade seemed to be working because everyone pretty much accepts it. Those that haven't got the message he uses a fist (or two or twelve) to get it across so some of the jocks start to back off, especially now that she's upped her hotness factor and decreased the crazy.

Well, maybe not really decreased it. It's just turned down and shoved into a closet where one day it explodes and rains little star-shaped Rachel Berry's all over Puck's game night with the guys.

All he's doing it sitting on his bed, alone in his room with the headset on and his phone left in his shorts which he has long since ditched in favor of the standard boxer lounging. It's a rule - in his room, there are no pants. They don't exist.

So excuse him if he's too busy trash-talking Mike and Matt (tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum as he likes to refer to them as) to hear his phone vibrate continously from her numerous attempts to text and call him. It's not like he was putting Halo before his (fake) girlfriend, honest.

But that's the way she seemed to have taken it because she's on his doorstep and at first there's a light knocking that leads to more calls and then banging. Admittedly he's a little bit nervous to open that door because he just knows that it's going to be all bad but eventually he talks himself into shorts and a shirt and braves opening the door.

And he was totally fucking right because the girl on the other side? She is absolutely soaked in pink paint. Her brown hair is smattered and that brown dress of hers is scattered in dots and splotches of pink. What looks even worse than all that smeared acryllic based mess on his (pretend) girl? That hot trail of something that's even more disheartening than tracks of paint; her tears.

So he does what any guy in his shoes would do. He stands there with the door open wide and his toes scuffing against the carpet again and again because he doesn't have a clue what he's supposed to say or do here. Normally he's the cause of the tears and he lets the boyfriend (or husband or girlfriend or father) clean up the mess that he left in his wake while he's on to the next hot thing.

But this girl? Fuck, this girl has got him doing something that would kill his repuation quicker than any hey-knocked-up-your-girlfriend scenario would. He fucking hugs her and soothes and coos and consoles. It's an out of body experience because one moment she's on the porch and the next she's pressed against him with his hands in her hair and the paint being spread from her to him like some sort of girly rash.

He swears under his breath because it's everything she doesn't want to hear and when he asked her who did this and she responded with a sour look, he's on the verge of burning the entire school down because seriously? This isn't fucking cool.

"Really? The cheerios tagged you?"

And honestly? He really shouldn't be all that surprised because yeah, Quinn was knocked up or whatever but after that baby and her cat-fight bitch-down climb to the top of the Cheerios she's no different than before. In fact, she's almost worse because she really has nothing to lose.

Puck considered calling up Finn and berating the fucker for not having better control of his girl (muzzles only cost five bucks, he'll pony up if he thought Finn would use it on her) but when her tears subside she's saying the last thing he wants to hear.

"I'm going to drop out of the race."

Anything else would have been preferred because hearing Rachel Berry say that she, of all goddamn people was giving up meant that none of them stood a chance. If she, the girl who used to be slushied daily, recieved an egg facial, and stood up to anyone who dared crossed a member of her little Glee group was at her breaking point than no one else stood a chance.

If he didn't know any better he would think that was a tear that managed to fall from his eyes but he was soon convinced it was a drop of rain (indoors? really Puckerman?) or a splatter of paint (that's warm and falling from your eyes? Yeah, you pussy) from Rachel. He managed to get ahold of her and himself and leads them to the couch where they settle together and like the child he never had he's rocking her, still offering words of encouragement and when that doesn't reach her he pulled back and glared.

"Now you listen here. You are Rachel fuckin' Berry and no Quinn or Santana or any other slut in red is going to mess with that. You're like the most badass person that I know, well, aside from me of course. So this giving up bullshit? It ain't kosher - it ain't happening. You've dragged me into your world of crazy for weeks and I'll be damned if I don't get a fuckin' crown or something to show for it."

There's still moisture swimming in those eyes of hers but he could swear he sees the faintest hint of a smile. "You're right. You may be crude in your manner and your vocabulary is lacking but you're right."

Puck can only blink because her admitting that someone else was right is like Quinn being a redhead or Artie walking - it's a fucking shot in the dark. A miracle.

"Of course I am babe, when am I not?" When her eyes roll he knows that he can pull her through this and as he does the standard boyfriend thing (shut up, he's soon movies okay? He lives in a house of chicks) where he strokes her hair and uses his thumb to wipe away the stray tears.

Taking her hand he leads them both up the stairs to the bathroom he shares with his sister and while she stood there, awkward and uncomfortable, he starts the showers and gestures for her to climb in.

There's no sexual innuendos which just shows how fucked up this entire situation is. Instead he just walks out and leaves her to it, dropping towels, a pair of shorts and a shirt from his middle school that is bound to fit her scrawny form.

When she padded out with wet hair and a genuine smile he finds he's able to breathe just a little bit, even if she's the reason that his game has been ruined and Matt and Mike have sent a billion texts asking if he was too pansy to keeping playing.

He drives her home in relative silence with the reassurance that they will win this fucking thing even if it's the very last thing that he wanted. To her door he walks her and after pressing a kiss to her forehead he realizes something terrifying.

He doesn't know where it began but without his notice things had spiraled into dangerous territory because he genuinely wants to win this if only to see her smile, to help her achieve just one of her numerous, attainable dreams.

And yeah, maybe he thinks that if they win she'll let him touch her boobs which is why he dials up Santana while he goes to leave and blackmails her with some of the low, dirty shit he found out about her. Let's just say his low credit score is fucking tame in comparison with some of her dirty laundry.

He's just secured the votes of the cheerios (excluding Quinn, of course) and he is pretty smug as he settled back down for another game with the tweedle twins and his boxers. Especially when he blows both their heads off. Pansy, his ass.

-*/*-

Puck does not have a clue how the hell she manges to get her way. All this time he thought it was him with the power but noooo. It's all her.

"Puck, are you going to homeroom for the voting today?"

"Fuck that noise," he said gruffly, rubbing at the back of his neck as they stood by their lockers.

"I'm sorry. Was that a yes? Because I'm pretty sure a yes is the only way you're going to be hearing -me- making -any- noises."

And that shit? That's how Rachel Berry managed to get him into homeroom where he actually casts a vote (for himself, fucking duh) and Rachel Berry.

That's also how she manipulated him into actually entering her house where he's forced to make small-talk with her dads and ignore the way they watch him, snap pictures of him in front of the mantle place and the stairs and the door all while they await Berry to grace them with her presence. And yeah, he's ten minutes early but that's because she's scary when he's late. Especially on THE night (and yes, it has to be said like that because she has drilled the emphasis into his head so, so much).

It was all worth it when she started down those stairs though. The dress was short and so Berry yet not. Her shoulders are bare and bronze, shimmering from some sort of body powder that she had spread over them. Loose curls and eyelined eyes make her face stand out even more. There's a ribbon of red across her waist that ties into a bow at her hip, draws attention to her thin waist. In short she was absolutely stunning and he can't help that it wasn't just his chest that tightened but his pants too because seriously? She is hot.

"Good evening Noah! I'm glad you're so prompt this evening. Dad and Daddy would like to take a few pictures of us before we depart."

This is something he obviously already knew but since his throat is dry and words have failed him he just nods and takes her hand to help her down the last few remaining stairs. They stand and pose and it takes all of his restraint not to just claim her then and there because she's hugging him so close and that perfume? He's pretty sure it is the scent of tease and she is the epitome of heartache (and certain blue areas of his anatomy can attest to this being fact).

Puck's truck is the mode of transportation for the evening because it's just Homecoming, not Prom, but he'll go all out for that. Wait, hold up, what the fuck? Is he thinking of the future? Something isn't right there but he can't place his hand on it, especially when it is being claimed in both of her soft ones as they come to a stop in his usual parking spot in front of the school.

"Ready for this babe?"

Rachel's nod is hesitant and it's a look he's not accustomed to seeing on her. "Noah... however this evening ends I just wanted to say thank you. When the evening is complete I promise to leave you alone and let you get back to your normal social outings."

Before he could protest (he's not even sure he would, to be honest) she was sliding out of the truck and pushing the door closed. So yeah, he may be a little bit irritated because she always has to have the last word but there was no point in explaining that to her because Kurt and Mercedes arrived together and stole her attention away.

Puck eventually claimed her again to walk her into the gym that was decorated and designed carefully by Miss P who is one of the chaperones for the evening. Lot of good that'll due since they've already started spiking the punch. He's not going to let Berry have a cup, that's for sure.

No one is more surprised than him to find that this evening is actually enjoyable. He enjoyed dancing and encouraging everyone else to get down too, and it's not in the least bit awkward since he's on relatively good basis with everyone in that school. Not to mention his date is smokin' hot and yeah, maybe he thought about choking a few bastards with their ties for looking twice but he's relatively tame this evening because her eyes are fucking sparkling and it's adorable (shut the hell up!).

Mr. Schue is on the stage after a few more dances with an envelope in his hand a smug expression on his face. He already knows the results and he's happy to be the one to present them.

"If I could have your attention please! Tonight we come together to announce our homecoming King and Queen. Based on the student votes we have the winners in this envelope here." He holds it up to drag out the suspense as Brad (who knew he could play more than piano?) drums a steady ryhthm on the drum set.

"And our Homecoming King is ... "

"Fuck Berry, loosen that vice grip!"

"Noah Puckerman!"

Before he can smirk there's a moment of silence -stunned, shocked as all hell silence- but then that cocky swagger is in place and he is on the stage where he strutted like the badass he proudly proclaims to be.

"And our Homecoming Queen is ... "

To be honest he doesn't need to hear the answer because Puck just knows. It's a good feeling that he gets in the very bottom of his stomach, the tips of his toes, the steady beat of his heart. He knows without a doubt that this girl deserves the pretty tiara that's all polished and shined on the plush pillow held by Figgins.

"Rachel Berry!"

Puck is the first to clap in a slow applause that becomes thunderous as Kurt nudges and all but drags Rachel to the front to get on stage where she belonged and she's all smiles and girly tears so he ends up being the one to do this little speech deal.

"Uhhh. Thank you for doing this because you're saving me from getting an earful later -" everyone but her chuckled at this because Puck's being pretty accurate but that doesn't make it okay. "Anyway when Berr... Rach first came to me with this idea I thought it was crazy because she's kinda crazy but then I thought about it. What could be better than having you all realize what a great King I am? And who better than Rach as the Queen? She's perfect and it's about time you all realized that so thanks for finally being smart."

As far as speeches goes it's the worst (sweetest) thing she has ever heard in her life and she's certain that even Sarah Palin makes more sense than Puck in that moment but none of that matters because a slow song has started and as is custom their dance is expected which he happily complied with.

"Thank you," Rachel eventually says to his shoulder because her eyes are still too cloudy to actually look up at him. "This is perfect. I'm just so ... happy. This means that these people, my peers, they actually like me."

His chest rumbled with a protest but he ended up scoffing. "Of course they do. Babe, we're badasses. And everyone loves them."

"Noah... really, you've gone above and beyond and if there's anything I can do to repay you for your kindness. You have shown yourself to be quite the exceptional gentleman and I'm so appreciative of that."

Here, he can make all kinds of lewd suggestions and waggle his eyebrows and that's seriously the first thought to cross his mind but there must be some kind of filter or not enough alcohol in the punch because he doesn't. Instead he pulls her closer and just shrugs. "There's not a thing I wouldn't do for my girl."

There's a lump in Rachel's throat and she can't swallow it done because that? That was worth more than beating Quinn, than winning over the student body of McKinely. "You are too good for me."

Shit like that? It's why this girl drives him crazy. How can someone so smart be so exceptionally dim-witted. But it's also what endears her to him so much - she's honest and beyond sweet. "While that may be true," she chokes on a laugh that's somewhere between a cry and giggle, "it's also not. You're the best thing around here, baby. I'm honored to have you on my arm."

Puck is teasing her and she knows this that's why she leans upwards, just a little bit since there's enough height to her heels to put her closer to level playing ground. "I don't have a curfew tonight..."

He kissed her soundly to cover up the groan and while a faster song starts he's got her by the hand and is heading for the nearest exit.

"Noah!" she squealed as they headed into the night. "What are you doing?"

"You shouldn't say things like that... You know what they do to me." He doesn't even have to help her in the truck because she is just as eager as he is which is a fucking blessing.

"That's why I said it!" Her bright eyes are wide as she laughs and the tinkling, merry sound of it makes him realize what everyone else saw; this girl really was a queen and eventually she'd take the world by storm, not just this school.

And he spends the rest of the evening taking her by storm, becoming absolutely consumed in every little part of her.

So yeah, it's no surprise that he knows Rachel Berry better than any other Gleek member or anyone, for that matter. For example he knows that her favorite thing to do on a Sunday morning is just lay in bed in just cotton shorts and a tee-shirt.

Or that she's super ticklish behind her knees and the arch of her feet.

And if you asked him if he knew this shit? He'd totally confirm and smirk, because yeah, he's got that shit on lock down.