Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling. All related trademarks etc. also are hers (or Warner Bros?), and… well, I just like to play around with them.
The Way It Happened
Remus, August, 2001
It wasn't fair. It shouldn't have been them. It shouldn't have been any of us. This war, it isn't right. It never was, and nothing can ever make it so- not lasting peace, not complete unity between wizards and Muggles, nothing. Nothing can justify this. Nothing.
I knew them in the first war, and I knew them in the second. I knew them before there was any war, and I saw their potential, I saw what they could have been if things hadn't happened the way they had. I saw them in the first war, vibrant, ready to take on every Death Eater themselves, just so long as they knew they had each other to cover their backs. I knew them in the second war, when one of them was dead and buried and the other one a changed man from more than a decade spent in Azkaban on a charge he was not guilty of.
We were all close at Hogwarts, the four Marauders, but there was a bond between James Potter and Sirius Black that I've never seen before. We would all have died for one another - or so I thought - but they were different. They were brothers, but bound by means much stronger than any kind of blood.
It hurts, looking back, to realise how everything went wrong. How we trusted Peter when we should have just turned around and walked away, and never, ever looked back. But we didn't. And James died, and Lily, and in a way he killed Sirius, too, the Sirius I knew before half his soul was ripped out by someone he trusted.
I remember catching a glance of Sirius just before he was led away to Azkaban, to pay for Peter's crimes. I never saw him again, not really, because the after-Azkaban Sirius was never the same. He didn't go crazy in the prison, not from what I can tell, he was stronger than the ones who break down into screams in their sleep. But he screamed after wards, in Grimmauld Place, screamed in silence. You can't explain what it's like, when you see a person who was as close to you as any family after twelve long years, and it's not the same person you knew. Imagine: your brother, or your sister, and you see them again after years apart and their mind has been mangled beyond belief. It didn't show on Sirius, of course, not to those who didn't know him closely. He could still laugh, still remember things. But gone was the handsome young man with a desire to fight the good fight, here instead was a broken and bitter convict whose only goal was to exact his revenge.
James got out lucky, I guess. Even though Sirius' fate was a result of James' death, if James had ever seen Sirius as I did, I don't think he'd have even recognised his old friend. If James had lived, Azkaban would have destroyed the near unbreakable bond he shared with Sirius. As it stands, though, that place has strengthened it. I saw it in Sirius' eyes, whenever he spoke to Harry, whenever James was mentioned - a flicker, a desire to make his friend proud, a desire to make everything right. But he never would. He couldn't. Everything isn't right, and it never will be. Two of the best people I have ever met were killed in these wars, and that's wrong.
I'm the last one left, the last of the four Marauders to still be standing and true to the bond of loyalty we swore in our seventh year. Which, I guess, makes it my duty to show you what happened in the last few years I knew James and Sirius. And maybe I can get you to understand quite what it means to watch them fading, dwindling, dying. Maybe you can share my pain. Come with me, a Pensieve journey's not quite so lonely as it looks. And beside, I'll be your guide, and as murky as these waters are I think I know my way.
A/N Ah…this is a sucky intro, but I was watching a fan video called "For Good" about James and Sirius, and I made up my mind to do this. I don't think it'll be a very long fic, maybe six, seven chapters? And I promise updates on the others, too. The date on this is the August after Sirius' death, but before HBP. Um….yeah, Remus is telling the story at this point, most will be told in third person but I may experiment with some styles. He's taking you, dear reader, into the Pensieve he loaned from Dumbledore. I do hope I've spelt Pensieve right, if not could someone bring it to my attention? Thanks. Right. Please review, and look out for the next chapter, it'll be better.
Aaaaand a continuation of the note in the repost. Made some spelling errors, posted the original in a flash of inspiration so wasn't really paying attention. Some words I spell use the British spellings instead of American, though, I've noticed that difference in a few places. I was shocked, by the way, when I checked my inbox and saw I already had reviews for this. Sooo…I may as well reply to them here.
FictionLuverkdm Thanks for the support! I've run a spell check and it's not coming up with any more mistakes…so let's hope this time got it right, eh?
shadowycorner I've always been interested in the change in Sirius. In the movie, they make him look totally crazy, whereas in the book he's not. But I always felt something changed, you know, in the way that he "confused Harry and James", as Hermione put it (probably not in those words), and so on. I really liked this line, too, and I was really hoping someone would mention it! As for being a beta reader, I'd love it! I'm not EXACTLY sure of EVERYTHING it entails, but at the risk of repeating myself, I'd love it!
sophianwin Yeah, as I've said above I've always been interested in the effects Azkaban had on Sirius. I had to laugh when you compared my "I'll be your guide" to Disneyland, I didn't think of it like that when I was writing it but I guess it DOES seem like that in retrospect! Actually, I kind of got the idea from the introduction to Stephen King's Skeleton Crew, when he is saying, "Take my arm, we are going through some dark places but I know the way". Maybe if I changed the word "guide"…
Do you mind awfully if I use the idea of putting Peter's reasons into the story? It's just, well, when I originally thought of this, I intended it to be a one shot, but as I wrote it, it…developed…and the plot is still unfolding in my mind. Eh, I suck at planning ahead. Come to think of it, I DO have some ideas over why Peter betrayed them…but you'll see them later on!
Old-crow Thanks for the review, I'll check out your story and be sure to review!
Archyle Thanks for the tip, as you may notice I HAVE altered the summary, and it IS better…please can you review after every chapter and keep helping me improve? hopeful grin
